intro and going deeper into situation
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Re: intro and going deeper into situation
A little over 2 years now - slowly building, and some down periods. Now mostly quite on.
Re: intro and going deeper into situation
Cant wait to hear next developments. Do you still have PIV with your wife nowadays?
Re: intro and going deeper into situation
I just wanted to add to the chorus opining that your intelligence and emotional insight in recounting all of this has made the thread riveting to read. I especially appreciated the recent post describing the paradox of how the cuckolding, and your embrace of it, has in a way laid bare a deeper masculinity in you. (Not your words exactly but my take on yours.) A great husband indeed.
And just from a point of view of poetic romance, I loved this bit:
"It’s like Emily wears my surrendered pride and dominant masculine identity like a little trophy jewel on a necklace."
So spot-on. And what a thrill it sounds like to surrender in that way to the woman you love!
And just from a point of view of poetic romance, I loved this bit:
"It’s like Emily wears my surrendered pride and dominant masculine identity like a little trophy jewel on a necklace."
So spot-on. And what a thrill it sounds like to surrender in that way to the woman you love!
Re: intro and going deeper into situation
Jeremie, thanks for sharing this. As others have said your emotional honesty, thoughtfulness and articulacy make this a particularly compelling thread.
I have a few questions, if you have time to answer.
First of all you said that you'd confided in a couple of your friends about your cuckold status, and that some of them were at the Birthday party and chatted with you and Josh there. How did you come to tell your friends, what was your reason for doing so? What were those conversations like? And can you say more about how it was for you to be in 'public' with Josh and the friends that knew who he was to you and Emily? I ask partly because I can't imagine ever sharing that kind of information with my friends; I think it would be intensely humiliating in a way that was too extreme to eroticize.
Secondly, although you've written a lot and very eloquently about your 'cuckold training' sessions I'm still curious. What do you think those sessions mean to Emily? It's obviously very hot that you are coaxed to accept your status and teased about her lover's prowess while you masturbate/are masturbated by her, and I can see that it would be intimate. But beyond that it sounds like you really gain a measure of acceptance or comfort about your situation from this practice. How much do you think, for Emily, that these sessions are kinky/intimate play and how much a real attempt to 'retrain' you?
And finally, I'm just wondering what your thoughts are on Emily's 'transformation'. From what you describe she is petite, loving and gentle with submissive tendencies. But it seems she is now quite at ease with teasing and dominating you in quite humiliating ways. Are you surprised at how she manages this? Do you think that taking control over you in this way is a real turn-on for her, or is it more that she loves the sex with Josh and that 'forcing' you to accept it is a way for her to enjoy that? i.e. is it a means to an end for her?
I suppose what's behind all these questions is that it seems that you are finding a way to reconcile your kinky desires with Emily's needs, even though you are maybe starting from slightly different places, if that makes sense? For instance, you started off (this time at least) more as swingers or having opened your relationship, but you are now most definitely a cuckold. And what I wonder is, how much of that transition is because you both felt and kept feeling like this dynamic was working for you, or - the slightly different position where you and Emily are getting your needs met but in a way that is about your individual satisfaction rather than as a couple?
I thought what you wrote about the eroticim of 'involuntariness' was really insightful, and it really resonated with me; with both chastity and cuckolding, the involuntariness or total loss of control is what makes it so hot. But I guess for me (and maybe a lot of cuckolds or wannabes) the tension is between our wives/partners enjoying something that takes them out of our 'control' (or takes events out of our control) but them doing so partly because they want to bring something back into the relationship; and a different situation where they enjoy that same thing (sex with others) and humour or accept our cuckold desires because it enables them to continue with something they need for other reasons. That's not a judgement on either situation; people come to all sorts of compromises in relationships and everyone has to do what works for them.
But I suppose for me the potentially problematic thing about that 'involuntariness' is that it means that it automatically fulfills my fantasy without the need for my partner to do more. Or to put it another way, it might satisfy my kink (need to be controlled/out of control) without her having to intentionally do anything to, or with me. And while maybe the acts performed are the same, I feel like it's healthier for our relationship (or at least, I would rather) if they are something she is doing where a significant part of her motivation is to turn me on. The one scenario is something we are definitely doing together, whilst the other is a thing we are doing separately, though it happens to bring us both pleasure.
I'm mainly interested because your posts are so insightful and it has inspired me to reflect on my own situation and desires, and as you are really living it, I'm curious to know more how these issues have been resolved in your relationship. For me, I am still a wannabe and though we have come very close and constantly flirt with the possibility, I think neither of us quite trust that if she did take the plunge and find a lover, that it would end up being something we did 'together'; for her part, because she doesn't naturally have a desire to dominate me or play with the cuckold dynamic; and for mine, because I fear that I would (and do) push her deeper because the 'involuntariness' satisfies my kink, even though she is not doing it 'for' or even 'with' me. So it would become more like masturbation for me (in not just the physical sense but the real sense of a solo, selfish activity), while she satisfied a need for intimacy only outside the relationship.
Anyway sorry for the essay - I mainly wanted to say thank you, and if you have any thoughts on anything I've said I'd be really interested to hear them.
I have a few questions, if you have time to answer.
First of all you said that you'd confided in a couple of your friends about your cuckold status, and that some of them were at the Birthday party and chatted with you and Josh there. How did you come to tell your friends, what was your reason for doing so? What were those conversations like? And can you say more about how it was for you to be in 'public' with Josh and the friends that knew who he was to you and Emily? I ask partly because I can't imagine ever sharing that kind of information with my friends; I think it would be intensely humiliating in a way that was too extreme to eroticize.
Secondly, although you've written a lot and very eloquently about your 'cuckold training' sessions I'm still curious. What do you think those sessions mean to Emily? It's obviously very hot that you are coaxed to accept your status and teased about her lover's prowess while you masturbate/are masturbated by her, and I can see that it would be intimate. But beyond that it sounds like you really gain a measure of acceptance or comfort about your situation from this practice. How much do you think, for Emily, that these sessions are kinky/intimate play and how much a real attempt to 'retrain' you?
And finally, I'm just wondering what your thoughts are on Emily's 'transformation'. From what you describe she is petite, loving and gentle with submissive tendencies. But it seems she is now quite at ease with teasing and dominating you in quite humiliating ways. Are you surprised at how she manages this? Do you think that taking control over you in this way is a real turn-on for her, or is it more that she loves the sex with Josh and that 'forcing' you to accept it is a way for her to enjoy that? i.e. is it a means to an end for her?
I suppose what's behind all these questions is that it seems that you are finding a way to reconcile your kinky desires with Emily's needs, even though you are maybe starting from slightly different places, if that makes sense? For instance, you started off (this time at least) more as swingers or having opened your relationship, but you are now most definitely a cuckold. And what I wonder is, how much of that transition is because you both felt and kept feeling like this dynamic was working for you, or - the slightly different position where you and Emily are getting your needs met but in a way that is about your individual satisfaction rather than as a couple?
I thought what you wrote about the eroticim of 'involuntariness' was really insightful, and it really resonated with me; with both chastity and cuckolding, the involuntariness or total loss of control is what makes it so hot. But I guess for me (and maybe a lot of cuckolds or wannabes) the tension is between our wives/partners enjoying something that takes them out of our 'control' (or takes events out of our control) but them doing so partly because they want to bring something back into the relationship; and a different situation where they enjoy that same thing (sex with others) and humour or accept our cuckold desires because it enables them to continue with something they need for other reasons. That's not a judgement on either situation; people come to all sorts of compromises in relationships and everyone has to do what works for them.
But I suppose for me the potentially problematic thing about that 'involuntariness' is that it means that it automatically fulfills my fantasy without the need for my partner to do more. Or to put it another way, it might satisfy my kink (need to be controlled/out of control) without her having to intentionally do anything to, or with me. And while maybe the acts performed are the same, I feel like it's healthier for our relationship (or at least, I would rather) if they are something she is doing where a significant part of her motivation is to turn me on. The one scenario is something we are definitely doing together, whilst the other is a thing we are doing separately, though it happens to bring us both pleasure.
I'm mainly interested because your posts are so insightful and it has inspired me to reflect on my own situation and desires, and as you are really living it, I'm curious to know more how these issues have been resolved in your relationship. For me, I am still a wannabe and though we have come very close and constantly flirt with the possibility, I think neither of us quite trust that if she did take the plunge and find a lover, that it would end up being something we did 'together'; for her part, because she doesn't naturally have a desire to dominate me or play with the cuckold dynamic; and for mine, because I fear that I would (and do) push her deeper because the 'involuntariness' satisfies my kink, even though she is not doing it 'for' or even 'with' me. So it would become more like masturbation for me (in not just the physical sense but the real sense of a solo, selfish activity), while she satisfied a need for intimacy only outside the relationship.
Anyway sorry for the essay - I mainly wanted to say thank you, and if you have any thoughts on anything I've said I'd be really interested to hear them.
Re: intro and going deeper into situation
I don't want to interrupt Jeremie's thread, but, JackCUK, I wasn't entirely sure I followed what you were saying, above.
And I think that the reason I found it difficult was that I don't know your story. Therefore it was difficult to relate what you were saying, to what has happened in your sexual relationship.
Maybe you could post something of your story in a separate thread?
I'd be interested to hear it.
And I think that the reason I found it difficult was that I don't know your story. Therefore it was difficult to relate what you were saying, to what has happened in your sexual relationship.
Maybe you could post something of your story in a separate thread?
I'd be interested to hear it.
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Re: intro and going deeper into situation
Yes - it varies - in the past few months it's been maybe 1-2 times a month - hard to say.
Emily says she loves having sex with me, and we have very fun and loving sex. It's very different than her sex with Josh, though, of course.
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Re: intro and going deeper into situation
thank you! I appreciate this comment a lot.thepen wrote: ↑Thu Jan 18, 2024 5:18 pmI just wanted to add to the chorus opining that your intelligence and emotional insight in recounting all of this has made the thread riveting to read. I especially appreciated the recent post describing the paradox of how the cuckolding, and your embrace of it, has in a way laid bare a deeper masculinity in you. (Not your words exactly but my take on yours.) A great husband indeed.
And just from a point of view of poetic romance, I loved this bit:
"It’s like Emily wears my surrendered pride and dominant masculine identity like a little trophy jewel on a necklace."
So spot-on. And what a thrill it sounds like to surrender in that way to the woman you love!
It's fun to share here, and especially when I have the sense that what I'm describing is really understood.
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Re: intro and going deeper into situation
Thank you!!
The first people I told were two different "best-friend-level" female friends who are both very sexually experienced, open-minded, queer, etc. And it made perfect sense to them, they just thought it was great. I think connecting to sex-positive people is key!JackCUK wrote: ↑Fri Jan 19, 2024 2:08 pmI have a few questions, if you have time to answer.
First of all you said that you'd confided in a couple of your friends about your cuckold status, and that some of them were at the Birthday party and chatted with you and Josh there. How did you come to tell your friends, what was your reason for doing so? What were those conversations like? And can you say more about how it was for you to be in 'public' with Josh and the friends that knew who he was to you and Emily? I ask partly because I can't imagine ever sharing that kind of information with my friends; I think it would be intensely humiliating in a way that was too extreme to eroticize.
On the topic of other people knowing, and being "out" - I could write a long post just about that -- and maybe I will. At the sober/serious level, I think it can be really helpful and relieving -- just to discover that it actually is okay and we are all complex, multi-faceted beings, personally and sexually, and people understand that, especially people who know you and love you. And that the thing in me that makes me feel ashamed to think of telling about this to a friend is the same thing that feels ashamed about myself in the privacy of my own mind. So, being 'out' to anyone I'm *actually* really close with as a friend has led to me just not feeling ashamed in myself, with myself. Also, sharing vulnerably invites vulnerable sharing from others, and everyone has lots of stuff of their own to share. And now people tell me all kinds of things. At the more sexy level, I find it to be a huge turn-on to be 'outed' to certain people -- specifically, female friends of Emily's. Something about that -- I think lots of people here could relate to that -- it's half a mystery why that is such a turn-on, but there is something about the mischievous, teasing knowingness (even if they never say anything) of other attractive females... So at the party for instance, there were a couple of those there. And then there were some very close male friends of mine who knew who Josh was. Like a lot of things in all this, there was that mix of things going on, a blend -- sexy turn-on + slightly uncomfortable exposed feeling + healthy vulnerability and integrating different parts of my life and experience.
But you bring up an important point -- there is such a thing as a situation being too 'intense' to eroticize -- at least *yet* -- I think it's often just a question of getting accustomed to the heat. It's a mistake to look to the left and right and see what someone else is doing and feel like you should be able to do the same. It's important to know what's too much. (And there can be just *slightly* too much, which is hot, versus just completely too much, which is not hot.) Like with food -- we take these little peppers that make chemicals to ward off animals from eating them, and we sprinkle them on our food. We like a little bit of a hot sting on our tongue. Some like just a little black pepper. Others like super hot habanero peppers.
I think straight men who never even think about cuckolding but who look at porn are basically doing black pepper -- they're aroused seeing a woman they find attractive with another man. But they don't have an actual personal relationship with that woman, and they don't feel threatened, and they don't feel like a cuck for looking at that because it's considered a normal male thing to find that hot. So that's like black pepper. Just a little tingle. Full on cuckolding with your actual wife in person, that would be extra hot habanero. But to me, it's just one big spectrum. And obviously, this is a ridiculously simplistic analogy that omits a lot of relevant elements, but I still think it's helpful to think of it in this way.
Yeah - good question -- those sessions are really fun for her. There are things in sex that are nearly equal in pleasure for both partners at the same time, but most of the time, there is some asymmetry, and one person might be getting more physical pleasure while another gets more of another kind of pleasure, like the pleasure of giving pleasure. And good sex is about being okay with moving around in those asymmetries. Emily knows that this kind of play really turns me on, and that turns her on. She also *genuinely* likes exercising her power and playing with it. It's fun and fascinating to her. As far as how 'serious' or genuine the intention of "retraining" -- well, like a lot of things in all of this, it's that difficult-to-describe blend between playful and serious. And yeah, there is so much intimacy even just in sharing that space together and playing with it. And that's serious! ha ha. I think the idea of "retraining" is a really hot idea, and that it's an open question/mystery whether or not those things seriously 'retrain' me in the sense of having the power to take a guy and completely change what they like and want. I think it's more about scratching away some barriers to letting go into what a guy (me) actually already wants or is open to, but is afraid of openly wanting or surrendering to. And inviting me to settle into it more. And for that, it works great!JackCUK wrote: ↑Fri Jan 19, 2024 2:08 pmSecondly, although you've written a lot and very eloquently about your 'cuckold training' sessions I'm still curious. What do you think those sessions mean to Emily? It's obviously very hot that you are coaxed to accept your status and teased about her lover's prowess while you masturbate/are masturbated by her, and I can see that it would be intimate. But beyond that it sounds like you really gain a measure of acceptance or comfort about your situation from this practice. How much do you think, for Emily, that these sessions are kinky/intimate play and how much a real attempt to 'retrain' you?
The other thing those sessions mean to Emily is, I think, they are reassuring to her. Especially in the beginning, there are those doubts that surely come up, like, "am I hurting my husband?" and "is he *really* okay with this?" or "he said he was okay with this, but is he really okay with *this*?? now that I'm having *this* much intense fun?" and it's reassuring to get a kind of answer to that by making me squirm around and reaffirm my okayness with all of it. And that then allows her to go back and enjoy sex with Josh even more, to plunge herself into that exploration with even more abandon, and more sexual pleasure. And that's another thing that is real and serious, that comes out of playful play.
Yeah, that's another really good question (it seems you think about lots of the same things that I do!) --JackCUK wrote: ↑Fri Jan 19, 2024 2:08 pmAnd finally, I'm just wondering what your thoughts are on Emily's 'transformation'. From what you describe she is petite, loving and gentle with submissive tendencies. But it seems she is now quite at ease with teasing and dominating you in quite humiliating ways. Are you surprised at how she manages this? Do you think that taking control over you in this way is a real turn-on for her, or is it more that she loves the sex with Josh and that 'forcing' you to accept it is a way for her to enjoy that? i.e. is it a means to an end for her?
So, Emily is -- still -- overall a very gentle and submissive woman. Even her teasing and domination is never cruel or biting -- it is more of a loving 'you're so cute' quality, with a touch of dead serious authority to it. Or sometimes more than a touch. Her dominant side is something she has uncovered, and that she clearly enjoys. She also knows I enjoy it. So it is both -- she genuinely gets turned on by realizing her power and playing with it. AND she also does some of it because she loves me. And it turns her on to see how I react to it. So it's just round and round - a mix. One way of answering your question: a lot of the enjoyment she gets from having a sexual relationship with Josh comes from the pleasure of cucking me, and our dynamic around that. BUT, if I simply didn't exist and that whole part of the experience wasn't there, she would absolutely still meet Josh and want to have sex with him, and have lots of sex with him, and thoroughly enjoy it. And that is really hot to me. In fact, I wouldn't want it any other way.
It's both / and.JackCUK wrote: ↑Fri Jan 19, 2024 2:08 pmI suppose what's behind all these questions is that it seems that you are finding a way to reconcile your kinky desires with Emily's needs, even though you are maybe starting from slightly different places, if that makes sense? For instance, you started off (this time at least) more as swingers or having opened your relationship, but you are now most definitely a cuckold. And what I wonder is, how much of that transition is because you both felt and kept feeling like this dynamic was working for you, or - the slightly different position where you and Emily are getting your needs met but in a way that is about your individual satisfaction rather than as a couple?
It *started* with me having fantasies and sharing them with Emily.
She responded with being open to fulfilling my fantasies, but also out of genuine interest just in having sex with another guy, just because that's something she knew she would enjoy, regardless of whether I liked it or not.
Then, the cuckolding kink dynamic between us felt really hot for us, and her seeing other guys felt like something she was doing to feed into that.
But then, at the same time, she was really and truly enjoying sex with other men, having nothing to do with our cuckold dynamic.
And then, naturally, that sex for her developed into its own thing -- real sex, amazing sex, real connections, especially with Josh -- that had its own life and momentum. And at that point, the cuckolding dynamic between us became a way to connect and to keep me supportive of her newfound freedom and awesome sex life.
We both have our own individual satisfactions from it, and we also both have our shared satisfactions from it.
If I didn't like being dominated or teased, she would simply not do that stuff, and continue having sex with Josh. The fact that I do respond to that in the way I do, just makes it more fun for her.
While she's having sex with Josh, the fact that I'm out there and might hear them is a turn on (for both of them), and the fact that she is married and it feels more naughty and hot, all of that is a turn on, but mostly their sex is just about their sex and how good it feels, not thinking about all the cuckold stuff.
Yeah, control and 'involuntariness' are interesting and complicated -- what I want, and I think what most people want, is to be plunged into the feeling of lack of control and involuntariness, but when and *because* it leads to deeper connection, not less.JackCUK wrote: ↑Fri Jan 19, 2024 2:08 pmI thought what you wrote about the eroticim of 'involuntariness' was really insightful, and it really resonated with me; with both chastity and cuckolding, the involuntariness or total loss of control is what makes it so hot. But I guess for me (and maybe a lot of cuckolds or wannabes) the tension is between our wives/partners enjoying something that takes them out of our 'control' (or takes events out of our control) but them doing so partly because they want to bring something back into the relationship; and a different situation where they enjoy that same thing (sex with others) and humour or accept our cuckold desires because it enables them to continue with something they need for other reasons. That's not a judgement on either situation; people come to all sorts of compromises in relationships and everyone has to do what works for them.
Chastity is like that -- it's not likely to be fun if you're just locked up and literally no one even cares. It doesn't take much, though, to infuse the entire experience with a lot of turn-on, because it feels like someone is consciously and intentionally holding the key, aware of your predicament, and that there is meaning to it all, to them and to you. That kind of goes for a lot of this stuff.JackCUK wrote: ↑Fri Jan 19, 2024 2:08 pmBut I suppose for me the potentially problematic thing about that 'involuntariness' is that it means that it automatically fulfills my fantasy without the need for my partner to do more. Or to put it another way, it might satisfy my kink (need to be controlled/out of control) without her having to intentionally do anything to, or with me. And while maybe the acts performed are the same, I feel like it's healthier for our relationship (or at least, I would rather) if they are something she is doing where a significant part of her motivation is to turn me on. The one scenario is something we are definitely doing together, whilst the other is a thing we are doing separately, though it happens to bring us both pleasure.
Yeah - well, I think it can be "both/and", like it is for me/us. And that it kind of has to be 'both/and'. It's not realistic for someone to have amazing sex with someone else and not really enjoy that and have it be something that exists outside the 'box' of your relationship and your kink dynamic together. It is its own thing, a very real pleasure and a real connection between your partner and another person. AND it can be brought back into your connection and fire it up even more, and bring you closer together. Or not -- it could just literally be a totally separate thing and you maintain and build your connection around other, unrelated things.JackCUK wrote: ↑Fri Jan 19, 2024 2:08 pmI'm mainly interested because your posts are so insightful and it has inspired me to reflect on my own situation and desires, and as you are really living it, I'm curious to know more how these issues have been resolved in your relationship. For me, I am still a wannabe and though we have come very close and constantly flirt with the possibility, I think neither of us quite trust that if she did take the plunge and find a lover, that it would end up being something we did 'together'; for her part, because she doesn't naturally have a desire to dominate me or play with the cuckold dynamic; and for mine, because I fear that I would (and do) push her deeper because the 'involuntariness' satisfies my kink, even though she is not doing it 'for' or even 'with' me. So it would become more like masturbation for me (in not just the physical sense but the real sense of a solo, selfish activity), while she satisfied a need for intimacy only outside the relationship.
But for me, a key thing has been to be able to accept that the 'final outcome' does not have to be, and is in fact unlikely to be, that I am the ultimate last stop "best" most intimate and hottest sex partner for her -- she's going to have sex that is better and more intimate with Josh -- better and more intimate in *some* ways, and not others. And our sex will be "better" and more intimate in other ways. There's only one me, and our connection is its own thing. But I had to let go and accept that it's okay for her to have certain kinds of sexual pleasure and connection with someone else that I don't have to (and can't) "top off" and reclaim or "best" -- honestly, for anyone, cuckolding situation or not, to me the only viable way to live is to let that go. That was hard for me, though! It's supposed to be hard... we're human.
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Re: intro and going deeper into situation
Jeremie, I finally caught with the thread. Wow - extremely well written and the way you describe your emotions, angst, conflicts in your mind, is just superb. Can't wait to hear more of how the relationship evolves
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Re: intro and going deeper into situation
So, Emily definitely approved of the changes she saw coming out of using the chastity device and that increased her interest in doing other things to reinforce those changes.
The first thing one of those things was spanking.
I was never interested in spanking. I didn’t think it was weird or bad, I just never thought of it much. Kind of like foot fetishes – another popular thing that never really spoke to me.
Anyway, now I feel like I could write half a book about the psychological effects of just agreeing to bend over with pants down, even without anything else happening.
It started with a night when Josh was about to arrive and we were standing next to the bed for Emily to confirm that I had put on my cage. I pulled my pants just low enough to show her and handed over the key to her. Then she told me to pull my pants down more and bend over the edge of the bed. My bare butt was in the air and my face was turned to one side, cheek on the blankets. At first she just touched my ass and asked me if I was going to be fully cooperative while she spent the evening with Josh. I said yes, and then she spanked me and told me to tell her clearly and fully. It was just a single spank and it was not too painful, but it made my whole body jump a little bit and then wiggle and tense up, not knowing whether there was about to be another sharp sting like that.
I told her louder that I would cooperate fully with everything. She asked me a couple more questions like that, about following her directions and not resisting, not interfering, and spanking me one smack at a time, while I promised my obedience. Each time she spanked me, my body twitched and flinched a little, and I let out a little whimper that was embarrassingly high-pitched. Any idea of myself as a man was being spanked out of me. She reminded me at least once to keep my hands flat on the bed while she spanked – to show her I would not resist. And by not resist, it was clear – not just in words and thought, but in my body itself – my bare legs, my arms and hands laid flat on the bed, and my tingling butt that felt more naked and exposed than ever – that not resisting this was one and the same thing as not resisting anything else.
I could feel what was happening. All of it. It had the feeling of almost a joke – because of what an aggressive act of domination it was, but not a joke. Not a joke at all. She was being playful, adopting this commanding persona, but it was also dead serious. And it felt different. Playing with the chastity cage had woken her up to what was possible. She had always been so submissive, and it was like I could see the wheels turning in her eyes, like she was discovering something – the pleasure of her authority – that maybe she had just never known what it felt like or that it could be a reality to have control over someone. And that she had never imagined in years past that she had this hidden power. And that even if she wasn’t quite sure what to do with it or where it was heading, she was sure she wanted to keep going. And at that point it would have been totally out of character for me to resist. And it felt like that’s what she was testing out. She had me almost literally by the balls – Josh was on his way over, something that had become nearly routine, and I was locked in a chastity cage. What if she were to just literally bend me over, spank me like my ass belonged to her, and told me to repeat after her exactly what she wanted me to do going forward?
So she spanked me as she told me she wanted me to be more diligent in preparing the bedroom for sessions with Josh. To take a more active role and not have to be asked to do that. That even if Josh had already arrived before I had a chance to prepare it, that I should take the initiative to do so while they spent that time together waiting in the living room or wherever.
That first spanking ended when the doorbell rang – Emily said I could pull up my pants as she turned to go let Josh in. I was in a daze, but I wanted to get up quickly and pull my pants on before there was a chance of Josh seeing me like that. I looked around the bedroom and even though it was already nice, I tidied up just a few more things, got the lube out of a drawer and placed it on the nightstand, and straightened out the sheets so they were perfect and undisturbed again. Then I collected what I needed of my things before vacating the space for the rest of the night. When I came out to the living room Emily asked me if the bedroom was ready and I nodded yes. Then they went in there and shut the door and I stayed out there as the time passed, listening to the on and off sounds of their sex, my butt still flushed, enduring waves of frustration and acceptance as I twitched in the plastic device.
After that, Emily started spanking me from time to time. The quality of it is not punitive – more like an affectionate humbling practice. It has not been a regular thing - just on and off, and it can be pretty random. I think that when I’m not expecting it, that is when it is probably most most ‘needed’ and also the most intense – maybe I’ve settled into a mindset that doesn’t reflect all this stuff going on (i.e. I’m not as humble as I should be) and there is this moment when she tells me to pull down my pants and bend over where first I’m like ‘seriously?’ and then at the same time I’m thinking ‘ohh, right – this is something I have a track record of going along with, so I better go along with it now…’, and like the fingersnap of a hypnotist, all these thoughts and memories flood in and I snap down into my understanding of myself as a cuckold. (A similar thing happens to me sometimes when I get a text from Emily in the middle of the day, informing me of some plan for that evening. Or sometimes she’ll send a screenshot of some texts between her and Josh, where he’s telling her what he’s going to do with her.)
Anyway, the spankings have a huge effect on me. Bending over with my pants down and having my bare butt in the air is so profoundly humbling. There is just no way to be in that position and maintain any illusions or uncertainty about how much I’ve given up. And if I’m locked in a chastity device with my dick feeling like a little nub beneath the plastic, then the experience is all the more humiliating. And the feeling sticks for a long time.
There are lots of ways that I submit to Emily – just by accepting things. But the spanking is a time where she gets to test out my submissiveness and observe it in real time. Not just know that I am out there somewhere, passively accepting things, but to be able to observe me actively accepting by bending over for her and keeping still while she does something that really has no other purpose other than to humble me. Showing that there doesn’t even have to be any other reason than that.
Whenever possible, I’d prepare the bedroom for them before Josh came over – making the bed with fresh sheets and making sure there was lube and condoms at the bedside. Also cleaning up all my stuff and making the room nice and tidy. If for any reason I had not had the ability to prepare the room earlier, then I would do it while Emily hung out with Josh in the dining room or sometimes the hot tub. She’d then, like the first time she spanked me, ask me right in front of Josh if I had finished getting the bedroom ready for them. It was a little moment of humiliation, to nod and say ‘yes’, in front of Josh, admitting openly that I had in fact just made up the bed that he was about to take Emily to. Emily seemed to like to show Josh how different her husband was from him, as if she wanted it to be completely obvious to him that she saw him in a completely different way than she saw me. Like it was a flirtatious gift she wanted to offer him – to give him little glimpses of what a cuck she was willing to make me in order to let him fuck her whenever he wanted.
Anyway, preparing the bedroom became another way I showed my acceptance and support – making everything extra nice and perfect – not just changing the sheets but making the bed perfectly and clearing the nightstands, leaving only the things they needed, and making the lighting dim and romantic.
The first thing one of those things was spanking.
I was never interested in spanking. I didn’t think it was weird or bad, I just never thought of it much. Kind of like foot fetishes – another popular thing that never really spoke to me.
Anyway, now I feel like I could write half a book about the psychological effects of just agreeing to bend over with pants down, even without anything else happening.
It started with a night when Josh was about to arrive and we were standing next to the bed for Emily to confirm that I had put on my cage. I pulled my pants just low enough to show her and handed over the key to her. Then she told me to pull my pants down more and bend over the edge of the bed. My bare butt was in the air and my face was turned to one side, cheek on the blankets. At first she just touched my ass and asked me if I was going to be fully cooperative while she spent the evening with Josh. I said yes, and then she spanked me and told me to tell her clearly and fully. It was just a single spank and it was not too painful, but it made my whole body jump a little bit and then wiggle and tense up, not knowing whether there was about to be another sharp sting like that.
I told her louder that I would cooperate fully with everything. She asked me a couple more questions like that, about following her directions and not resisting, not interfering, and spanking me one smack at a time, while I promised my obedience. Each time she spanked me, my body twitched and flinched a little, and I let out a little whimper that was embarrassingly high-pitched. Any idea of myself as a man was being spanked out of me. She reminded me at least once to keep my hands flat on the bed while she spanked – to show her I would not resist. And by not resist, it was clear – not just in words and thought, but in my body itself – my bare legs, my arms and hands laid flat on the bed, and my tingling butt that felt more naked and exposed than ever – that not resisting this was one and the same thing as not resisting anything else.
I could feel what was happening. All of it. It had the feeling of almost a joke – because of what an aggressive act of domination it was, but not a joke. Not a joke at all. She was being playful, adopting this commanding persona, but it was also dead serious. And it felt different. Playing with the chastity cage had woken her up to what was possible. She had always been so submissive, and it was like I could see the wheels turning in her eyes, like she was discovering something – the pleasure of her authority – that maybe she had just never known what it felt like or that it could be a reality to have control over someone. And that she had never imagined in years past that she had this hidden power. And that even if she wasn’t quite sure what to do with it or where it was heading, she was sure she wanted to keep going. And at that point it would have been totally out of character for me to resist. And it felt like that’s what she was testing out. She had me almost literally by the balls – Josh was on his way over, something that had become nearly routine, and I was locked in a chastity cage. What if she were to just literally bend me over, spank me like my ass belonged to her, and told me to repeat after her exactly what she wanted me to do going forward?
So she spanked me as she told me she wanted me to be more diligent in preparing the bedroom for sessions with Josh. To take a more active role and not have to be asked to do that. That even if Josh had already arrived before I had a chance to prepare it, that I should take the initiative to do so while they spent that time together waiting in the living room or wherever.
That first spanking ended when the doorbell rang – Emily said I could pull up my pants as she turned to go let Josh in. I was in a daze, but I wanted to get up quickly and pull my pants on before there was a chance of Josh seeing me like that. I looked around the bedroom and even though it was already nice, I tidied up just a few more things, got the lube out of a drawer and placed it on the nightstand, and straightened out the sheets so they were perfect and undisturbed again. Then I collected what I needed of my things before vacating the space for the rest of the night. When I came out to the living room Emily asked me if the bedroom was ready and I nodded yes. Then they went in there and shut the door and I stayed out there as the time passed, listening to the on and off sounds of their sex, my butt still flushed, enduring waves of frustration and acceptance as I twitched in the plastic device.
After that, Emily started spanking me from time to time. The quality of it is not punitive – more like an affectionate humbling practice. It has not been a regular thing - just on and off, and it can be pretty random. I think that when I’m not expecting it, that is when it is probably most most ‘needed’ and also the most intense – maybe I’ve settled into a mindset that doesn’t reflect all this stuff going on (i.e. I’m not as humble as I should be) and there is this moment when she tells me to pull down my pants and bend over where first I’m like ‘seriously?’ and then at the same time I’m thinking ‘ohh, right – this is something I have a track record of going along with, so I better go along with it now…’, and like the fingersnap of a hypnotist, all these thoughts and memories flood in and I snap down into my understanding of myself as a cuckold. (A similar thing happens to me sometimes when I get a text from Emily in the middle of the day, informing me of some plan for that evening. Or sometimes she’ll send a screenshot of some texts between her and Josh, where he’s telling her what he’s going to do with her.)
Anyway, the spankings have a huge effect on me. Bending over with my pants down and having my bare butt in the air is so profoundly humbling. There is just no way to be in that position and maintain any illusions or uncertainty about how much I’ve given up. And if I’m locked in a chastity device with my dick feeling like a little nub beneath the plastic, then the experience is all the more humiliating. And the feeling sticks for a long time.
There are lots of ways that I submit to Emily – just by accepting things. But the spanking is a time where she gets to test out my submissiveness and observe it in real time. Not just know that I am out there somewhere, passively accepting things, but to be able to observe me actively accepting by bending over for her and keeping still while she does something that really has no other purpose other than to humble me. Showing that there doesn’t even have to be any other reason than that.
Whenever possible, I’d prepare the bedroom for them before Josh came over – making the bed with fresh sheets and making sure there was lube and condoms at the bedside. Also cleaning up all my stuff and making the room nice and tidy. If for any reason I had not had the ability to prepare the room earlier, then I would do it while Emily hung out with Josh in the dining room or sometimes the hot tub. She’d then, like the first time she spanked me, ask me right in front of Josh if I had finished getting the bedroom ready for them. It was a little moment of humiliation, to nod and say ‘yes’, in front of Josh, admitting openly that I had in fact just made up the bed that he was about to take Emily to. Emily seemed to like to show Josh how different her husband was from him, as if she wanted it to be completely obvious to him that she saw him in a completely different way than she saw me. Like it was a flirtatious gift she wanted to offer him – to give him little glimpses of what a cuck she was willing to make me in order to let him fuck her whenever he wanted.
Anyway, preparing the bedroom became another way I showed my acceptance and support – making everything extra nice and perfect – not just changing the sheets but making the bed perfectly and clearing the nightstands, leaving only the things they needed, and making the lighting dim and romantic.
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Re: intro and going deeper into situation
Thanks for the brand "spanking" new update Jeremie . Have you and Emily experimented with pegging at all yet ?
Re: intro and going deeper into situation
Do you enjoy the spankings?
Would you be prepared for Josh to see Emily spank you?
Would you be prepared for Josh to see Emily spank you?
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Re: intro and going deeper into situation
Sorry to be gutterminded, but is the lube so Josh can dominate her anally?
My story: viewtopic.php?f=8&t=73151
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Re: intro and going deeper into situation
Yes... just haven't written about it yet... but I will at some point soon!venus-can99 wrote: ↑Tue Jan 23, 2024 7:43 amThanks for the brand "spanking" new update Jeremie . Have you and Emily experimented with pegging at all yet ?
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Re: intro and going deeper into situation
Thanks look forward to reading about it....Jeremie11231 wrote: ↑Tue Jan 23, 2024 9:34 am
Yes... just haven't written about it yet... but I will at some point soon!
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Re: intro and going deeper into situation
I want it / don't want it!
I would be and am prepared for that - would be hot - has never happened. I suspect he might just be bored by that, or indifferent. But maybe not. Time will surely tell, eventually.
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Re: intro and going deeper into situation
No - that has never happened (apparently has never happened with *anyone*, not just Emily) -- would be physically very difficult, probably require months of practice just to make it even possible. It's been discussed.scarfolamew wrote: ↑Tue Jan 23, 2024 8:52 amSorry to be gutterminded, but is the lube so Josh can dominate her anally?
Re: intro and going deeper into situation
Brother you don't know how much I am anticipating this update. This thread and your retelling of it all is just chef kiss.Jeremie11231 wrote: ↑Tue Jan 23, 2024 9:34 amYes... just haven't written about it yet... but I will at some point soon!venus-can99 wrote: ↑Tue Jan 23, 2024 7:43 amThanks for the brand "spanking" new update Jeremie . Have you and Emily experimented with pegging at all yet ?
Since pegging is on the table too, is that part of Emily and your PIV play or does she use it as a form of domination like the spanking.
- KarrieKraves
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Re: intro and going deeper into situation
Have been following this thread for some time now and figured I’d show some support in terms of what a super job you are doing documenting your (and Emily’s) journey, and what a learning opportunity it is for even for some of the older dogs here like me.
IMO perhaps the most interesting post from you was on Dec 15/23 when you describe the details of Emily’s Birthday Party with Josh in attendance.
“It was also the first time I had to stand there openly in a group of people who knew us, where several people there knew what was going on between Josh and Emily. I couldn’t pretend this was just some bedroom thing we did between us, playing with fantasies.”
Sorry for backtracking somewhat at this point, but is there any way you would consider detailing your above quote any further in terms of your exact thoughts and emotions as you were standing there among these friends. Was Josh there alongside you as well? What was being discussed?
Also (and sorry for so many inquiries) was there any discussion/debriefing between you and Emily on what this had felt like for you later, after the two of you were settled for the night?
Thanks and great thread. Can’t wait for more updates.
IMO perhaps the most interesting post from you was on Dec 15/23 when you describe the details of Emily’s Birthday Party with Josh in attendance.
“It was also the first time I had to stand there openly in a group of people who knew us, where several people there knew what was going on between Josh and Emily. I couldn’t pretend this was just some bedroom thing we did between us, playing with fantasies.”
Sorry for backtracking somewhat at this point, but is there any way you would consider detailing your above quote any further in terms of your exact thoughts and emotions as you were standing there among these friends. Was Josh there alongside you as well? What was being discussed?
Also (and sorry for so many inquiries) was there any discussion/debriefing between you and Emily on what this had felt like for you later, after the two of you were settled for the night?
Thanks and great thread. Can’t wait for more updates.
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Re: intro and going deeper into situation
This is the first thread that I read on OHW .
So happy to read that Emily is using condoms.
Looking forward to reading about your getting pegged.
So happy to read that Emily is using condoms.
Looking forward to reading about your getting pegged.
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Re: intro and going deeper into situation
You're preparing the bedroom for them and being pegged. Have you guys approached the idea of you servicing their sexual needs, cleaning up her pussy, fluffing, etc?Jeremie11231 wrote: ↑Tue Jan 23, 2024 9:34 amYes... just haven't written about it yet... but I will at some point soon!venus-can99 wrote: ↑Tue Jan 23, 2024 7:43 amThanks for the brand "spanking" new update Jeremie . Have you and Emily experimented with pegging at all yet ?
Our journey - viewtopic.php?f=47&t=66687
Re: intro and going deeper into situation
Hi Jeremie! No new chapter on your background story?
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Re: intro and going deeper into situation
Hey all - sorry to be quiet -- I'm traveling right now and have not been able to write. All is very good, though! I appreciate the positive feedback above and will reply to each thing in time!
Re: intro and going deeper into situation
we miss your updates ;-)
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Re: intro and going deeper into situation
Thank you so much for this thread. I’m going through the same struggle right now with the loss of control. My wife is about to take on a (probably) long-term, very regular lover. I’ll write about it in my own thread, but your eloquent description of the desire/fear of the truly “involuntary” and how you are coping with releasing control is extremely helpful.