Fighting the cuckold fantasy

[hubudig2]

I've spoken to a lot of guys with cuckold fantasies, every one has a different story for how they realised or got into it.
I've heard so many different variations on trying to supress it and/or keep it at arms length.
I've also spoken to guys that claim they aren't into the idea of cuckolding and try to pass it off as being a stag or just into hotwifing when they are clearly into cuckolding and I can and do prove it to them.

For those that have tried to fight it in the past and eventually accepted it, how did you come to accept it?
Is there any advice you would give to those that are currently fighting it?

For those that are currently fighting it... why?
Is it a self respect thing?
Worried what lies further down the path?
Maybe it seems like no good can come of it?

All feedback and responses greatly appreciated.
Thanks

[Bluetoed]

I've also spoken to guys that claim they aren't into the idea of cuckolding and try to pass it off as being a stag or just into hotwifing when they are clearly into cuckolding and I can and do prove it to them.

Are you suggesting that all men that are just stags or just into hotwifing are just suppressing their true feelings? Or were you just referring to the guys you spoke to?

[hubudig2]

Are you suggesting that all men that are just stags or just into hotwifing are just suppressing their true feelings? Or were you just referring to the guys you spoke to?

No, not suggesting that at all.
I know guys that are stags and hotwife types but I've also come across a lot of guys that say they are one of those types but are obviously not.
Sometimes they genuinely didn't know they were actually into cuckolding or understand the differences.
Sometimes they justify it as "well I'm not into chastity/cleanup/humiliation, therefor I'm not into cuckolding".
Some guys, even if you prove to them that they're into cuckolding, refuse to accept it.
It makes no difference to me, I'm not trying to force a label on anyone, it's all a blurred spectrum of many things anyway.
I've just included it in the poll/discussion because of how commonly I've come across it.

[BallSpanking]

The problem is with the question. It assumes "The Fantasy" is the same for everyone.
If the fantasy is having a HW it means one thing, but if you are referring to a full Cuckold fetish, that is something else.

[hubudig2]

The problem is with the question. It assumes "The Fantasy" is the same for everyone.
If the fantasy is having a HW it means one thing, but if you are referring to a full Cuckold fetish, that is something else.

It's on the cuckold forum but I'll edit to be more explicit.

Or did you mean that some elements of it are easier to come to terms with than others?

[BallSpanking]

No, that was my only concern.

[SheLikesWhenIWatch]

I never knew I wanted to be cucked until fate brought a very close friend to NEARLY fucking my wife one night. (They never actually hooked up, but would have done so if there was just a little more time.) That was the summer of 1997.

I couldn’t believe how turned on I was at the prospect of watching my close friend’s dick traveling in and out of my wife’s welcoming pussy…and watching/listening to her enjoying it.

It’s ALL I could think about. ………. That’s when I DEVELOPED “the fantasy,” and I kept it to myself for a long time. I was a WANNABE.

When I finally confided in my wife that I’d wished Mike (my friend) had fucked her that night, she was hurt. She said I made her feel dirty for wanting her to take another man’s penis inside of her.

I was devastated. I never wanted to hurt her. I felt small!

Over time, though, she got “adventurous” and wanted to know if I still fantasized about Mike fucking her lights out.

I admitted that 99 percent of the cum I’d spilled since that night was done so while imagining Mike pumping her full of his sperm.

“What’s the other one percent?”

“Imagining Eric (another friend) pumping his sperm into you.”

Time passes so slowly when you’re a wannabe!

“It’s only a fantasy!” she perpetually reminded me…..and herself.

OHW became a shared pleasure for both of us. We’d read posts together, get worked up, and fuck hard ‘til we came.

I think she softened to the idea when she realized that there are nice, conservative women just like her who occasionally get a little “side-cock” to satisfy their own, and often their husbands’, needs….desires.

Fantasy became role-play.

Over time, OHW became a weekly favorite. So many husbands and wives were evidently living the dream on OHW, after all. Soooooooo much reading. The prospect of getting fucked while I sat idly by intrigued her. She could see that a lot of husbands and wives were “fucking around,” and she continued to soften. She understood me…realized that my desire to be a cuckold was real.

At some point:
Boss got flirty. She flirted back. ……. A few weeks later, on her back with her feet in the air, taking a thick pounding.

She loved it……and loved it even more when she made me watch.

That was March of 2007 (17 years ago THIS WEEK), and he’s been steadily tapping my wife’s pussy ever since.

Fantasy led to reality.

The was no fighting…just coexistence.

[alloverit]

I have to say that most of what I fantasize about would be considered cuck leaning, but much would not.

The first fantasies were very
early on and revolved around ex GF and her new guy.
It never failed to get me going. But it was 10 years later that my then almost fiancee rook advantage of my offer and got laid.

After that, my fantasies and porn were almost exclusively HW and Cuck. However, much of the cuck stuff is a direct turn off.

If I ever remarry, it would just be an Open Invitation early on to a woman that I liked to be with outside of sex AND during sex alike.

More Hotwife, but ok with some humiliation talk when she is telling me about it, creampie, and her having dates where I find clues before she tells me.

She(my ex) fucked 2 guys alone that I know of, 1 I am pretty sure of, and one I suspect. We also had a MFM with my friend and me.

Divorced 15 years, and it is my only ongoing fantasy, even after the following long term relationship.

Not sure where that leaves me, but fighting it has not ever worked.

[hubudig2]

Thanks for the story.
So much of what you wrote and have been through is inspiration that it can happen with patience.
If you don't mind me asking, I have some questions I'll leave below, otherwise thanks again.

I never knew I wanted to be cucked until fate brought a very close friend to NEARLY fucking my wife one night.

Had you ever considered the idea before that night?
Do you think if you had considered it, say, the night before, the idea would've seemed unthinkable and repulsive?

I couldn’t believe how turned on I was at the prospect of watching my close friend’s dick traveling in and out of my wife’s welcoming pussy…and watching/listening to her enjoying it.

Was this realisation as you watched it unfold? Or on reflection after?
Did you feel any resistance to it at the time?
In my own experiences, guys seemed to get stunned like a "deer/rabbit in the headlights", unable and unwilling to do anything about what's unfolding before them.
Does that sound like how you felt?

It’s ALL I could think about. ………. That’s when I DEVELOPED “the fantasy,” and I kept it to myself for a long time. I was a WANNABE.

After the initial experience, did it feel like you started an addiction?
The more you thought about it, the more you liked/wanted/needed it?

The was no fighting…just coexistence.

I'm assuming there was still a humiliaton-esque counter-feeling but that was subdued by how erotic it was to you?
Can you imagine/understand how some others feel a need to resist the urge to enjoy the thought of it? Like a guilty pleasure.

Time passes so slowly when you’re a wannabe!

I know what you mean but 10 years is a long time however patient you are.
10 years does seem to be the magic number for how long it takes for a faithful wife to take the seed of an idea and turn it into a blossoming tree.
It'd be savage to tell other wannabes that though.

[Cdncuck]

I couldn't participate in the survey because for me, it doesn't ask any of the right questions. The focus seems to be on fighting or resisting the cuckold urges. For me, that was never the issue.

I experienced my first awareness of cuckolding in grade 7. I had never had sex, didn't have any experience with girls and didn't have a girlfriend. There was of course no knowledge of the word cuckold or its meaning.

What happened was I had a close friend whose older brother was married. The brother would have been in his 20s. My buddy had I were at his place one night and the older brother came over to talk to his mom. My buddy and I were asked to go outside but we could hear some of what was going on. The brother was raising his voice. At first, it seemed he was arguing with his mother. Then we could hear him sobbing.

My friend made me promise not to tell anyone but his brother's wife was cheating on him and fucking other guys. Apparently the older brother knew about it and came and talked to his mother when his wife was out with someone.

Upon hearing this, I immediately got a hard on. It was so hard it hurt. The hair on my arms stood up and I got a terrible cramp in my stomach. This guy's wife seemed like the most fascinating woman in the world to me. I'd never seen her or met her. The brother eventually divorced the woman and it never came up again.

Fast forward to high school. I was dating a girl. We had done some kissing and touchy feely stuff with her but no sex. She canceled a date one night because something had come up with her family. Later that night, I saw her coming out of a movie with another guy.

I was immediately hard and thrilled. She became even more attractive to me. I went home and jerked off imagining her fucking that guy. I jerked to that image in my mind until my cock was sore.

There were other incidents but this is getting too long. The thing is, I never questioned the feelings that I had which were obviously cuckold. The feelings were never the problem. What conflicted me was it made me feel there was something wrong with me.

The feeling of lust and desire wasn't wrong. What bothered me is I thought there was something wrong with me because there were no feelings of anger or jealousy. It made me feel strange because I wasn't behaving in what I thought was a normal way. That there were no feelings of anger or jealousy made me think there was something wrong with me.

I knew none of my friends would have taken that way. It was upsetting that none of the normal responses to a two timing girlfriend were there.

So it wasn't the cuckold urges that bothered me, it was my lack of ability to experience what I imagined a normal response would have been.

[letitrain]

Realizing and accepting that I was into the cuckold fantasy was a slow and long process for me. I think that I first tried to deny that the idea turns me on. However, the denial was no prevalent content in the foreground of my experience; the denial was nothing very explicit. Instead, it was rather implicit, something lingering in the background of my experience. This went on for a few years maybe. It was only later in life, precisely when I got together with my wife, when I fully realized and ultimately accepted this fantasy. When I started to read about the fantasy online I realized that it is kinda common, and that people have the same fantasy or at least similar fantasies for all kinds of reasons. It is not necessarily something very idiosyncratic but shared by many other men.

I think it is best trying to be honest with oneself, even though that can be a complicated and sometimes not so easy process. And there is no reason to punish oneself for having this fantasy.

[hubudig2]

After that, my fantasies and porn were almost exclusively HW and Cuck. However, much of the cuck stuff is a direct turn off.

I know that feeling, why does all cuckold porn assume that the person watching is a cuck?
There are 2 other parties involved that might enjoy that genre of porn too.

Not sure where that leaves me, but fighting it has not ever worked.

Are you saying that you've tried to fight it in the past?

[damar81]

Well,

A bit of a lurker here, I am happy to see so many living the dream. Anyways I have always felt submissive toward females, but I sort of briefly lived as a cuck without knowing it.

Several years ago, I moved and rented a room from an older woman. Well after awhile as she got comfortable with me....she became more open about her dating habits and past. Divorced and with the kids moved out, she told me that she now dates only black guys. I didn't think anything of it simply being a roommate. Well it was hard not to notice the sounds coming from her bedroom. Eventually she started sharing her experiences in the bedroom with me after the fact. Nothing sexual ever actually happened BTW. Well I thought it was hot. She must have too and she must have picked up on my submissive nature. Eventually she would flirt with me wearing not a whole lot of clothing telling me all about her dates, but also always reminding me she was as she put it black only now. One of her kids moved back home with her and upset the dynamic, I will always wonder what would have happened....

Anyways I figured out what cuckolding was after and I felt it fit it to the T. Well I ended up finding love the old fashioned way and while I am defiantly in a Female Led Marriage, it is not kink related. It's enough for me to bounce on here and read about this stuff from time to time, but man if it doesn't excite me to think about from time to time.

[hubudig2]

I couldn't participate in the survey because for me, it doesn't ask any of the right questions. The focus seems to be on fighting or resisting the cuckold urges. For me, that was never the issue.

Sorry for asking the wrong questions lol, I'm just trying to gain a better understanding of something in particular.
Thanks for offering a different perspective though, I always enjoy considering a different psychological angle on these things.

Upon hearing this, I immediately got a hard on. It was so hard it hurt. The hair on my arms stood up and I got a terrible cramp in my stomach. This guy's wife seemed like the most fascinating woman in the world to me.

Did you understand why you found this erotic at the time?
It sounds like the kind of thing I would've found fascinating at that age too without understanding why.
Can you imagine it being possible that you could've taken the bull path from there? Maybe if later experiences had been different?
Or do you feel like you enjoyed it in a cuck way even back then?

The feelings were never the problem. What conflicted me was it made me feel there was something wrong with me.

That's interesting, like its 2 sides of the same coin.
It seems like everyone has varying levels of finding it erotic and varying levels of jealousy.
For you, there's the absence of jealousy. Others maybe have more equal amounts of jealousy and finding it erotic which gives them some conflict depending on whether they're horny or not, eventually learning to eroticise the jealousy instead.
So you almost treated it as 2 separate things? You found cheating girls erotic and didn't question that but questioned why you didn't feel jealous when you got cheated on? Makes sense.

[alloverit]

Hubudig2:

I have definitely tried to fight/resist it.

[SheLikesWhenIWatch]

I never knew I wanted to be cucked until fate brought a very close friend to NEARLY fucking my wife one night.

Had you ever considered the idea before that night?
Do you think if you had considered it, say, the night before, the idea would've seemed unthinkable and repulsive?

I couldn’t believe how turned on I was at the prospect of watching my close friend’s dick traveling in and out of my wife’s welcoming pussy…and watching/listening to her enjoying it.

Was this realisation as you watched it unfold? Or on reflection after?
Did you feel any resistance to it at the time?
In my own experiences, guys seemed to get stunned like a "deer/rabbit in the headlights", unable and unwilling to do anything about what's unfolding before them.
Does that sound like how you felt?

My folks had a cabin in the heart of the Rocky Mountains back then (Colorado). My wife and I, along with another couple (Mike and his newlywed wife), went to the cabin for the weekend. The idea was that Mike and his wife were going to use it as a “base” for all of the other outdoor activities that they wanted to do for their “cheap honeymoon” (hiking, rafting, camping, fishing, etc.). But it was late spring, and no one had taken the chance to drive in to turn on the electricity (heat), the water pump, and sync the satellite dish. So, they asked us to accompany them to the cabin for that first afternoon to get the place up and running for the season.

My wife and I went, thinking it would take about an hour to get everything going, but there were some unexpected events that delayed it taking merely an hour or so (a car accident on the highway, a belligerent porcupine that refused to get out of the way of door to the basement where all the utilities were controlled, etc.)

It got dark, and Mike and his wife simply offered to have us stay the night rather than have us drive the mountain highways at night. They had already taken the master suite by this time, so my wife and I took the room next door, figuring we’d leave right away in the morning.

Little did we know, Mike was planning to give his bride a thorough fucking that night. We had all been drinking wine, and we got tired and turned in for the night into our respective rooms.

Meanwhile, just a few inches of wall separated us. First, the restless moving in the bed just a few inches away in their room. Then, the cooing and moaning from his wife.

This got my wife hot, and she grabbed my hand and put it on top of her hand which had begun to rub her own clit in tiny, pleasurable circles. Of course, I was getting hot, too, thinking about what Mike was doing with that innocent, pretty bride of his. My dick was harder than a woodpecker’s lips just listening to them and feeling my own wife softly cooing as she rubbed one out.

Then, the squeaky bed noises. Mike was going all in, and his bride was becoming much more vocal. My wife pulled me on top of her, and we started to return the hot favor of “mutual moaning” to let the other party know we, too, were having some fun. It eventually got raucous with headboards SLAMMING the shared wall, almost like Mike and I were trying to out-do each other in the “I can fuck my wife harder than you can fuck yours” realm. We surely did damage to that wall on both sides.

Then, we ALL heard Mike make his “release” as he came loudly. I thought my wife was going to lose it…listening to him cum (presumably) in his newlywed bride, consummating their marriage. My wife DEMANDED LOUDLY that I cum for their entertainment, too, and I let it rip. BOOM!

It was quiet for a short time, and then we heard their bedroom door open. Mike was going to get more wine (stark naked). I snuck out (also stark naked) and met him in the kitchen. We laughed and agreed it was kind of fun. I asked if he had enough for a second round. We were in our 20s…so, of course! (Duh!)

We agreed to do it again, but this time, after the girls were whipped into a frenzy, we’d bring them out into the adjoining family room (sofas and chairs) where we would have some fun together.

Within a half-hour, we were pulling our (reluctant-but-NOT-reluctant) girls to the family room, all four of us naked from head to toe in the dim light of the fireplace.

Mike and his (fucking cute!) bride took up “residence” on the sofa, her comfortably leaning back; him between her open thighs with his knees on the carpeted floor. Imagine how nervous my wife must have been when I led her to the spot next to them, and we got into the same basic position right next to them. It was a HIGHLY erotic moment for all four of us. Mike and I were lining our cocks up to fuck our girls right next to each other.

I noticed our wives rapt attention to the moment, shoulders touching, lightly touching each other where their legs happened to cross as they opened their heavenly pussies for us. One thing I remember vividly was seeing our respective wives staring at “the other cock and pussy,” not the one preparing to enter them. My wife was so focused on watching Mike’s cock slipping into his wife, she even leaned forward a bit so she could see better. And I remember watching Mike’s wife just fixated on my cock as I stuffed it into my wife’s wet pussy.

We fucked good that evening. Mike did something that (we both now acknowledge) really turned my wife on. He grabbed his wife’s neck (as if to choke her), and asked her (while fucking her) if she liked what she was looking at. His wife, subservient to her man in that moment, panted that she was so hot watching me fuck my wife.

It took longer, and the thickness had been a little runnier, but we all came together within a five minutes of pumping, all within a minute of each other.

To be honest, though, THAT moment……watching Mike’s dick sliding in and out of his bride’s sweet pussy…..was when I imagined how utterly HOT it would be to watch him do the same to my wife, ultimately filling her with his cum, listening to her moaning and enjoying it, his fucking cute wife and me watching him “own” my wife’s pussy…..him claiming my wife’s sexy cunt for himself in front of his bride……and then claiming his own bride’s pussy immediately afterward.

I was dumbstruck! In that moment, I looked down at my own cock and could imagine nothing more than it being HIS cock that was splitting my wife open. I couldn’t imagine anything else. I knew in that moment that I wanted to be a cuck. I wanted my wife to fuck another man, take his cum inside her, and show me how much she enjoyed it.

Although Mike’s wife was cute as hell, I really didn’t care about swapping. I didn’t want to fuck her, actually. I wanted Mike to “demonstrate” his superiority by fucking both girls to orgasm and depositing his sperm in my wife.

I didn’t know what it was called at the time, but I wanted my wife to cuck me……ideally right away……with Mike and his newlywed wife. I wanted to watch my wife enjoy another man’s raging cock. I wanted to watch her enjoy being manhandled (rough play? light choking?) by a man who’s clearly stronger than me.

I came HARD in her there, next to Mike and his attentive, fixated bride. I was last to cum. They watched us in the glow of their own post-coitus. Mike’s bride stared as my dick twitched half-in-and-half-out of my wife.

Until that moment, the thought never crossed my mind.

I was a swirl of emotion and confusion. My wife had not only just allowed herself to be seen naked in another man’s eyes, but had allowed him to watch her most intimate moment, where her husband put his cum inside of her, and her pussy gladly accepted it. (My mind was BLOWN! My devoutly Catholic/conservative wife just let that happen…and enjoyed it!). I was that deer in the headlights. (“WTF just happened?” I remember thinking.)

We had NO idea that we were about to take a “long walk” in a new direction.

Crazy, right? (It’s amazing to be blindsided by something like that at such a young age. We were so naive.)

Well….as you might imagine, the wine and physical exertion had taken a toll on our stamina. We made our (naked, glowing) ways back to our respective beds and fell asleep for the night…..completely satisfied and satiated.

I kept it to myself in that moment before drifting off, but I wondered if my not-so-Catholic wife would be willing to take Mike’s cock. (I fell asleep with an aching hard-on!)

We woke up the next morning. Mike and I went for a short walk down the road to photograph a passing elk herd. Along the way, he asked if we’d be willing to stay another night… “maybe we’ll do some swapping tonight.”

I was DEFINITELY down for some swapping fun, if only to watch my wife get manhandled and thoroughly fucked by, in my mind, a superior cock…..and to watch/listen to her enjoy it. I would have done ANYTHING to watch her shudder and cum on his cock. (I truly had no interest in fucking his cute bride, but I knew that I’d probably have to do so as a friendly capitulation. It would sort of be expected, I guessed. Who knows? Maybe he was as equally turned on by the idea of his freshly-minted bride wanting another man’s cock. Given the way she watched me cum on my wife the night before, I suspect she wanted to feel me squirt for her too.)

Alas, it was not in the stars.

Mike’s wife received a phone call while we were out. Her father had just suffered cardiac arrest (and survived) that morning.

Within hours, Mike and his wife were packed up and headed home.

But the incredible fantasy lingered. It would linger for 10 more years.

It’s ALL I could think about. ………. That’s when I DEVELOPED “the fantasy,” and I kept it to myself for a long time. I was a WANNABE.

After the initial experience, did it feel like you started an addiction?
The more you thought about it, the more you liked/wanted/needed it?

No question.

I was definitely addicted to the idea.

I kept it to myself for the longest time. Despite that one carefree night, I didn’t know how my wife felt about the prospect of another man putting his penis inside of her. It seemed hot in the moment, but I wondered if it was the wine that made it possible. I wanted her to want it, not because I wanted it, but because SHE genuinely wanted it.

Sure, I’d have loved to have been cucked that next night, but more than anything, I wanted her to want to cuck me. I wanted her to WANT to experience another man’s superior dick…..and do so in front of me, showing me that my dick just doesn’t do everything for her.

Over time, I worked up the guts to tell her what I was feeling. As you know, she was initially “hurt” that her husband would want her to step out. I felt terrible.

But as you also know, she warmed up to the idea over the next ten years.

She finally took the plunge with her boss.

He fucked her RUTHLESSLY (and she LOVED it) for a long time before she finally brought me into the room to watch (and be formally cucked). As I said, he STILL gets a piece of that pussy (about twice a month these days) after 17 years.

While they often like fucking without me around, they both occasionally enjoy cucking me. She wants me to kiss her and tell her I love her while he cums in her, and they always enjoy the creampie cleanup.

(I DO notice that she and he are slowing down quite a bit, though.)

The was no fighting…just coexistence.

I'm assuming there was still a humiliaton-esque counter-feeling but that was subdued by how erotic it was to you?
Can you imagine/understand how some others feel a need to resist the urge to enjoy the thought of it? Like a guilty pleasure.

Absolutely!

My humiliation is all psychological. She GENUINELY enjoys sex with her (now) two boyfriends more than she enjoys it with me.

(In January 2023, she took on a NEW boyfriend. They do not know about each other, but she’s more than happy to tell me everything. BF#2 does NOT want me to watch. It has been an interesting experience.)

She tells me routinely how good their cocks are, even while she lets me have a piece every now and then. I feel so inferior knowing that they fuck my wife much better than I do.

I think the resistance you speak of has to do with the age-old cuckoldry question: Why would anyone do this to themselves?

I can’t explain it!

It’s just such a great feeling to know that my girl is completely sexually satisfied…..that her pussy is VERY happy.

I know what you mean but 10 years is a long time however patient you are.
10 years does seem to be the magic number for how long it takes for a faithful wife to take the seed of an idea and turn it into a blossoming tree.
It'd be savage to tell other wannabes that though.

I also agree, but I don’t want the wannabes to give up.

I can’t believe I made it through 10 years of being a wannabe. I read every one of their posts and try to encourage them.

There is hope!

[Cdncuck]

I couldn't participate in the survey because for me, it doesn't ask any of the right questions. The focus seems to be on fighting or resisting the cuckold urges. For me, that was never the issue.

Sorry for asking the wrong questions lol, I'm just trying to gain a better understanding of something in particular.
Thanks for offering a different perspective though, I always enjoy considering a different psychological angle on these things.

Upon hearing this, I immediately got a hard on. It was so hard it hurt. The hair on my arms stood up and I got a terrible cramp in my stomach. This guy's wife seemed like the most fascinating woman in the world to me.

Did you understand why you found this erotic at the time?
It sounds like the kind of thing I would've found fascinating at that age too without understanding why.
Can you imagine it being possible that you could've taken the bull path from there? Maybe if later experiences had been different?
Or do you feel like you enjoyed it in a cuck way even back then?

The feelings were never the problem. What conflicted me was it made me feel there was something wrong with me.

That's interesting, like its 2 sides of the same coin.
It seems like everyone has varying levels of finding it erotic and varying levels of jealousy.
For you, there's the absence of jealousy. Others maybe have more equal amounts of jealousy and finding it erotic which gives them some conflict depending on whether they're horny or not, eventually learning to eroticise the jealousy instead.
So you almost treated it as 2 separate things? You found cheating girls erotic and didn't question that but questioned why you didn't feel jealous when you got cheated on? Makes sense.

Hi.

Sorry for asking the wrong questions lol, I'm just trying to gain a better understanding of something in particular.

I didn't mean to imply there was something wrong with your questions. I just meant it wasn't possible for me to answer because my situation is a bit different.

Did you understand why you found this erotic at the time?
It sounds like the kind of thing I would've found fascinating at that age too without understanding why.
Can you imagine it being possible that you could've taken the bull path from there? Maybe if later experiences had been different?
Or do you feel like you enjoyed it in a cuck way even back then?

I didn't know why it was erotic to me at the time. There was no understanding at all of what was happening to me.

I don't feel that the option of playing the role of a bull was ever there for me. Looking back, it's now clear that my feelings were deeply cuckold.

That's interesting, like its 2 sides of the same coin.
It seems like everyone has varying levels of finding it erotic and varying levels of jealousy.
For you, there's the absence of jealousy. Others maybe have more equal amounts of jealousy and finding it erotic which gives them some conflict depending on whether they're horny or not, eventually learning to eroticise the jealousy instead.
So you almost treated it as 2 separate things? You found cheating girls erotic and didn't question that but questioned why you didn't feel jealous when you got cheated on? Makes sense.

For me girls who cheated seemed incredibly erotic. I saw them as bold and being in control and very desirable. At that time in my life it was all fantasy. It was a long time before any of my feelings became clearer. However, even after all these years, I still don't completely understand what drives my need to be a cuckold.

[hubudig2]

Thanks for such a hot and detailed response!

Then, the squeaky bed noises. Mike was going all in, and his bride was becoming much more vocal. My wife pulled me on top of her, and we started to return the hot favor of “mutual moaning” to let the other party know we, too, were having some fun. It eventually got raucous with headboards SLAMMING the shared wall, almost like Mike and I were trying to out-do each other in the “I can fuck my wife harder than you can fuck yours” realm. We surely did damage to that wall on both sides.

It seems like a hot concept (for me at least) to consider that you were competing to out-do each other there.
The forfeit was 10 years jerking off to the thought of the winner fucking his wife.
I wonder what you might've thought about that concept in that moment.

To be honest, though, THAT moment……watching Mike’s dick sliding in and out of his bride’s sweet pussy…..was when I imagined how utterly HOT it would be to watch him do the same to my wife, ultimately filling her with his cum, listening to her moaning and enjoying it, his fucking cute wife and me watching him “own” my wife’s pussy…..him claiming my wife’s sexy cunt for himself in front of his bride……and then claiming his own bride’s pussy immediately afterward.

I was dumbstruck! In that moment, I looked down at my own cock and could imagine nothing more than it being HIS cock that was splitting my wife open. I couldn’t imagine anything else. I knew in that moment that I wanted to be a cuck. I wanted my wife to fuck another man, take his cum inside her, and show me how much she enjoyed it.

Although Mike’s wife was cute as hell, I really didn’t care about swapping. I didn’t want to fuck her, actually. I wanted Mike to “demonstrate” his superiority by fucking both girls to orgasm and depositing his sperm in my wife.

I didn’t know what it was called at the time, but I wanted my wife to cuck me……ideally right away……with Mike and his newlywed wife. I wanted to watch my wife enjoy another man’s raging cock. I wanted to watch her enjoy being manhandled (rough play? light choking?) by a man who’s clearly stronger than me.

Ever consider if that night hadn't happened, would you have gotten into it at another time? Or maybe never at all?
If you put 100 men through that same experience, how many would have the same outcome?
(These are the kinds of questions that keep me up at night )
Does Mike know what an affect that night had on you?
Was he doing anything in particular that grabbed your attention like that?
e.g. Was his cock bigger? Was he more capable? Did his wife look like she was enjoying it more than yours?
Or did your mind make it seem like those things were true? Because it was a hot idea to you?
It does sound like he took charge of the situation.
Why do you think fucking side-by-side like that caused you to latch onto this idea?
I've known guys to instantly turn cuck through a cuck experience but this wasn't a cuck experience as such.
Do you think it had something to do with what you went on to explain about him seeing your wife naked and fucked?
It was close enough to a cuck experience to trigger you?

I'm sure you've discussed that occasion many times with your wife.
I'm assuming when you first told her how you really felt about it, when she looked back on it, she wasn't into the idea of fucking Mike?
Now that she's into the idea too, does she look back on it like a missed opportunity?

Sorry, I know that's a lot of questions, I feel like I could endlessly reel them off for something like this.

Until that moment, the thought never crossed my mind.
[...]
Crazy, right? (It’s amazing to be blindsided by something like that at such a young age. We were so naive.)

It does seem crazy but I actually believe that most, if not all guys are capable of being into this, it just takes a particular [set of] experience[s]/circumstance[s].
I think I've been personally responsible for converting 2 or 3 guys.
I actually like that idea and I don't know if that makes me a bad person?

I was that deer in the headlights. (“WTF just happened?” I remember thinking.)

Did you not feel conflicted about it after cumming? That time or any time thereafter.

[scarfolamew]

I REALLY wish I had accepted it sooner in life. Check out my thread in the wannabe forum for details. The times I could have had with Celeste and Lanaya...oof, it tortures me to think about it

[WishMeCuck]

How do you think you "converted" 2 or 3 guys into it? What was the context, how it happened?

[hubudig2]

How do you think you "converted" 2 or 3 guys into it? What was the context, how it happened?

The first time, I was still a virgin actually.
I was at a close friend's girlfriend's house party. When it had ended and most people had gone home or to other rooms; I was still in the lounge, on a sofa with my friend at the other end and his girlfriend kinda laying across both of us. There was another friend in the room still but he was asleep and the friend (her boyfriend) next to me was either asleep or pretending to be.
I think his girlfriend had noticed the bulge in my jeans, I wasn't hard but it usually hangs down one leg quite noticeably.
She was getting a bit touchy feely with me, eventually she took my hand and placed it slightly down her pants. As I reached into her pants, I could feel she was really wet, at the same time she reached into my jeans and grabbed my cock and stroked it for a bit but seemed to struggle for room to move so she undid my jeans and pulled it out. By this time, there had been quite a lot of fidgeting and I could tell that her boyfriend had woken up and looked over at what was happening. He had a clear view of her stroking my erect cock while I had my hand down her pants. I didn't know at the time but he has a tiny dick whereas I'm an 8.5 - 9". I think this may have been the moment the fantasy hit him. He then pretended that he hadn't woken up and was still asleep but she couldn't see him from where she was so she was oblivious but didn't seem to care anyway. At this point I stopped feeling so guilty because he chose not to do or say anything about it. She got quite aggressive, the sofa was rocking almost as if she wanted to either wake him or make him feel silly for pretending to sleep through it. She gave me my first ever blowjob and then we fell asleep. The next morning when me and him were alone, he admitted that he was awake through the whole thing but didn't know how to react so pretended to be asleep. He acted as if it was some crazy/funny drunken thing and commented on how much the sofa was rocking.
The next evening she invited me over alone and I lost my virginity to her.
I think they broke up a week or so later, I don't know the exact reasons, she said he was immature and had never made her cum.
After this occasion he starts inviting me to dates with girls he's trying to get with and other girlfriends he had. I would often end up with the girl coming onto me or kissing me etc. Looking back on it, it was very strange but I didn't know much better at the time, I just took things as they came and didn't understand what was going on or why I kept finding myself in these situations.

The second time was with the same girl a few weeks after the previous story but a different boyfriend (a co-worker of the other guy's but I barely knew him).
I ended up alone with her again somehow, a quiet, public, outdoor place near her house, she begged me not to make her cheat on this boyfriend. I'm pretty sure she was driving it but she ended up giving me a blowjob. As I walked away afterwards, I came across her new boyfriend looking all dazed and confused. He was only a few paces away, awkwardly stood between a bush and a wall, just out of sight. I assume he had just seen what we were doing and had backed away. It was as if he wanted to confront me but just muttered some questions about what my "intentions" with her were. I pretended not to know what he was talking about and walked off. It was a very similar (deer in the headlights) type of reaction to the first time. He seemed flustered as if he was really horny, for all I know he was jerking off to what he just saw.

The potential third time was a different friend. There was quite a bit of history with this guy and previous girlfriends talking to me and telling me about his small dick and not being able to satisfy them. The girl he was with this time was a slut, she would visit nightclubs several times a week and hook up with a new guy each time. He worked abroad for long stints and would feel bad for her and asked me to take her to the cinema because she had nobody to go with. He didn't know she was fucking every guy she could get her hands on and after I took her to the cinema she inevitably tried it on with me. There was some kissing and touching, nothing major but we ended up seeing each other a few times and similar things happening. I'm not sure what happened between them but she must've told him something farfetched and he knew about all the other guys she was fucking too. He didn't ask for my version or complain about it, only complained that I didn't tell him about the other guys she was fucking. He went a bit strange after that.

All of these happened within a year of each other, probably 17 years ago. I had no idea that cuckolding or hotwifing was a thing or that guys could even enjoy girlfriends being with other guys. It was only years later when I found out it was a thing and realised that I had been drawn to those situations that I started understanding what was probably happening in these particular situations.

[xmanacherx]

thank you for sharing

[Tire_Kicker]

I've posted in other threads that one of the reasons I came on this forum was due to my confusion with all the labels. I have come to the conclusion that something as ambiguous as sexuality cannot be defined or classified by any given word or terminology.

I'm from a small town in Southern Colorado and had a pretty normal upbringing, country all the way. Had my share of girlfriends but was spread pretty thin with trucks, hunting, fishing etc. Joined the USMC straight out of high school and wound up in FMFLANT which at that time meant Sandland on six month rotations. One of my buddies had the misfortune of being married right out of high school and brought his cute little wife with him. Cathy was a real sweetheart and we all spent many an evening or weekend sharing a few beers, burgers and in general having a good time. When his orders came through we all knew the drill, pack your shit and report for duty. The night before he shipped out they showed up at my doorstep, we lived in the same trailer park off base so it was walking distance. Cathy had decided to stay and Randy wanted to ask me to look after her as a personal favor. I assured him that I would be happy to help and they both gave me a hug.

A couple of weeks went by and I didn't really give it much thought, it's not like she was helpless. One evening she showed up with a six pack and a pizza and just wanted to hang out and talk. She was struggling with the loneliness and wondered if she could come over and clean or what ever to keep busy. I told her to make herself at home and gave her the extra key. The place could definitely use some tidying up, for the next few weeks she came and went at her leisure. One night she hung around and I could tell she had something on her mind, I asked her if anything was wrong. Mustering all her courage and with tears brimming in her eyes she told me she needed to get laid, "Randy said it would be ok," she said so quietly I could barely hear her. I could tell she was in a very fragile state, this couldn't be easy, I wrapped my arms around her and held her for a long time.

Over the next several months I took care of her when she asked, at the end of his deployment Randy returned and we resumed our friendship. I didn't consider him a cuck, her a HW or me a bull, just friends. It did however give me a new perspective.

When I returned home I met my future wife the summer before she was going away to college. Both of us were young and even though we were serious about being together, we knew we would be hundreds of miles apart and so we agreed to an "open relationship" before I knew what that really meant. We continued to date each other while both having other lovers resulting in my discovering I could be both jealous and quite aroused at the same time. There are a couple of post's in Stag/Vixen giving a bit more detail on this.

If you read my submissions in other threads, the Stag/Vixen in particular I have been a cuck and a bull and probably a few things in between. I checked Stag, I don't think I'm powerless or submissive though.

[hubudig2]

I've posted in other threads that one of the reasons I came on this forum was due to my confusion with all the labels. I have come to the conclusion that something as ambiguous as sexuality cannot be defined or classified by any given word or terminology.

You're right, it's like trying to group/classify colors, there's all kinds of fringes and gray areas and people change over time.

Mustering all her courage and with tears brimming in her eyes she told me she needed to get laid, "Randy said it would be ok," she said so quietly I could barely hear her.

That sounds both sad and hot. I've never known a girl to need it like that.
How did you feel about doing it?
Could you enjoy it like normal sex? Or did it feel more like a favour? Like giving someone a massage?

Over the next several months I took care of her when she asked, at the end of his deployment Randy returned and we resumed our friendship. I didn't consider him a cuck, her a HW or me a bull, just friends. It did however give me a new perspective.

How did it change your perspective?

When I returned home I met my future wife the summer before she was going away to college. Both of us were young and even though we were serious about being together, we knew we would be hundreds of miles apart and so we agreed to an "open relationship" before I knew what that really meant.

How did it differ to what you thought it meant?

I have been a cuck and a bull and probably a few things in between. I checked Stag, I don't think I'm powerless or submissive though.

Why do you think you've been a cuck?
From what you've said, I would guess that you aren't but are there elements of it that you enjoy?
What brings you to a cuckold subforum? Or to this post in particular?
I'm not complaining, just interested.

[Tire_Kicker]

I've posted in other threads that one of the reasons I came on this forum was due to my confusion with all the labels. I have come to the conclusion that something as ambiguous as sexuality cannot be defined or classified by any given word or terminology.

You're right, it's like trying to group/classify colors, there's all kinds of fringes and gray areas and people change over time.
Exactly, we're in our sixties now and when we look back it's like, seriously?

Mustering all her courage and with tears brimming in her eyes she told me she needed to get laid, "Randy said it would be ok," she said so quietly I could barely hear her.

That sounds both sad and hot. I've never known a girl to need it like that.
How did you feel about doing it?
Could you enjoy it like normal sex? Or did it feel more like a favour? Like giving someone a massage?
It was definitely enjoyable, I won't deny I had a little crush on her, she was hella cute and afterwards we immediately went back to just friends. No cuddling or intimacy. We were actually good together.

Over the next several months I took care of her when she asked, at the end of his deployment Randy returned and we resumed our friendship. I didn't consider him a cuck, her a HW or me a bull, just friends. It did however give me a new perspective.

How did it change your perspective?
I saw a couple so in love that they would truly do anything for each other. It was a special relationship. I really liked Randy and would have done anything for him.

When I returned home I met my future wife the summer before she was going away to college. Both of us were young and even though we were serious about being together, we knew we would be hundreds of miles apart and so we agreed to an "open relationship" before I knew what that really meant.

How did it differ to what you thought it meant?
LOL, I don't think I had ever heard the words "open relationship" back then. I'm truly a country mouse. I had no idea when Frankie and I agreed to the terms of our relationship that it would take us to some of the places it did. We were in love but also very young and apparently pretty attractive to the opposite sex. It was an emotional roller coaster, I had girlfriends, she had flings and in the end I realized that the thought of her with another man was a huge turn on. I could also be fiercely jealous, it was confusing and exciting. I guess we were finding ourselves...

I have been a cuck and a bull and probably a few things in between. I checked Stag, I don't think I'm powerless or submissive though.

Why do you think you've been a cuck?
From what you've said, I would guess that you aren't but are there elements of it that you enjoy?
What brings you to a cuckold subforum? Or to this post in particular?
I'm not complaining, just interested.

Frankie and I did the married with children thing and to her credit she was an awesome wife and mother for the better part of twenty years. Me not so much, very successful in business and a good provider and dad but I had a couple of hotties I just couldn't pass on along the way including being a bull for one of my buddies wife at his and her request. Sex at home was always awesome and as often as I wanted it which was a lot, lots of role play which is how my wife found out it turned me on to think of her with other guys. She played along and it made her hot but it was just pillow talk. When she said I do, she meant it!

When we became empty nesters things got a little weird so I moved to the ranch house for a year or so and took up with a waitress half my age from the local diner. I eventually came to my senses and came home, we worked things out and moved on. We still toyed with making the fantasy a reality, she just didn't think she could do it with me watching. Honestly for me it was a cerebral thing, the thought of it drove me nuts, even if I was in the next room listening kind of thing.

Out HW experiences have been extremely limited, after we got back together Frankie became a "little bit" more adventurous. So we did it! Never any humiliation or weird shit. She is super picky so it took awhile but over the course of the next seven or eight years she was with four different guys. One night only and always slept with me after. I posted some of this in Stag/Vixen in the Pillow talk thread and I know there's one in the Wife at Seminar thread as well.

Eventually going to put the story together and see if anyone is interested. Forty years of Fantasy, Reality and Love!

Now about that label...