[Looking for practical guidance] how to convince and set the rules to my girlfriend

[Arizona]

hello,

i read many interesting post and guy's experience on this forum .


My girlfriend and I are in our thirties. I met her on an app. We had sex the first day we met. We are together since 1 year.

Since we met, we rarely go out together, only at the beginning when we started dating. Now she come to my place once a week, we have sex, she stay overnight and she leave my place the next day. She likes sex, various position, and she suck well but don't swallow the load . She is not into anal, too painful for her

She is not shy with me, but mainly submissive and lack confidence.

I don't know how to define our relationship but I think she is ok with what I offer to her and the time we spend together. I don't know her friends and she doesn't know my friends either.


When we have sex I tell her I like to see her cum and I put my finger in her mouth back and forth and she knows it makes me harder.


I'd like to make our relationship evolve to a mmf, I didn’t talk to her about it directly.


1/ what is the best way to start the conversation with my girlfriend about having sex with another guy and me?
2/ if she is ok how to influence her choice to a certain type of guy ?

3/ I already talk to numerous previous girlfriend (not the current one) about having a mmf, and they always said the same thing : "yes, why not, BUT I CHOOSE THE GUY"

That's a total turn off for me, I have read many stories on this forum also (i don't know if it's fantasy or real one btw...) but if it's real stories, the boyfriend always choose the 3rd guy for his wife or girlfriend!

How can I avoid this scenario of her choosing the guy ?!

I am looking for advice from cuckold guys only, most of the time advice from people who didn't have to convince their girlfriend are not realistic !



Thank you

[Her number1]

If you think the husband/bf always chooses the other man, you need to read more, because the wife/gf chooses just as, if not more, often.
You want her to hotwife, but do it on your terms.
What about her terms? Is it for you, or her and you?

[Arizona]

it's for both of us. But she wants to do it with her ex or people we already know...
that's not gonna work.

[SilverStag]

Her pussy...her rules.

[leggysman]

It's a negotiation. You have to give her some of what she wants, and give up some of what you want, and vice-versa.

But ultimately...

Her pussy...her rules.

yeah

[Her number1]

it's for both of us. But she wants to do it with her ex or people we already know...
that's not gonna work.

Why is that "not gonna work"?

[Arizona]

because it's better to avoid our social circle

[Arizona]

There are a tons of individuals post, but if you find a detailed step by step guide with women perspective about how to prevent her from saying no.

Basically it would be about all the build up so she can fantasize about a 3rd guy : the best discussion, when, where, with what mood etc.. that would finally lead to a real life meeting with a new guy.

[SilverStag]

It would seem she has chosen people she knows because it is a big step with anyone, and even more so if she doesn't know the guy. I understand wanting to stay away from an Ex (you don't want to rekindle old feelings or issues) and depending on the type of friendship you have with those people you currently know, it can be a dicey proposition (no pun intended).

My HW and I have agreed that she will have a solo profile on a swinger's site that specifies exactly our situation and who she is looking to find. It details the parameters of what we agreed upon for her outside play and is explicit that any guy desiring to play with her has to agree that there will be a meeting with both of us (without any play) first and there may be several "dates" without sex before she feels she is comfortable enough with him to play. Additionally, I reserve the right to either veto or be present for any interactions they have together (although, honestly, she doesn't want me there if she plays, but I may attend a dinner or cocktail get-to-know-you meeting or two).

This is about open discussion between you and even between both of you and any possible playmates. Set your agreed upon guidelines and don't deviate from what you mutually agree upon without a calm discussion ahead of time (not when sex is about to take place...well before hand). No surprises and everyone being comfortable ahead of time are secrets to a successful playdate.

[philxxo]

It seems to me you don't really have a GF. You have a friend with benefits. You spend one day a week with her, you don't go out anymore, you don't even know each other's friends. I'm guessing you haven't met each others family either. I don't see what the problem is with her picking the other man if she wants. Is the man for you? or her? You didn't mention if you were bisexual or not. If he isn't for you, then let her pick the man and the cock that she would want. Just work out an agreement with her about who it could be. Most women would not want a strange man being shoved on her in bed.

[Arizona]

It seems to me you don't really have a GF. You have a friend with benefits. You spend one day a week with her, you don't go out anymore, you don't even know each other's friends. I'm guessing you haven't met each others family either. I don't see what the problem is with her picking the other man if she wants. Is the man for you? or her? You didn't mention if you were bisexual or not. If he isn't for you, then let her pick the man and the cock that she would want. Just work out an agreement with her about who it could be. Most women would not want a strange man being shoved on her in bed.

Yes that's friend with benefits at the moment.
They would be for her and me, she already mention big cocks so I need to find the right guy
If it was only for her I would just tell her that we are in an open relationship so she can meet another guy whenever she wants.

[Arizona]

The main question was :

1/ what is the best way to start the conversation with my girlfriend about having sex with another guy and me?
2/ if she is ok how to influence her choice to a certain type of guy ?

[Farmgirl]

The main question was :

1/ what is the best way to start the conversation with my girlfriend about having sex with another guy and me? Take in a breath, open mouth, and let the words flow out. If you can't say the words, how do you expect her to respond in any sort of positive way?
2/ if she is ok how to influence her choice to a certain type of guy ? This is the main question you have posed. Unless the guy is for you, and then it wouldn't be Hotwifing, she should pick her type.

[Arizona]

The main question was :

1/ what is the best way to start the conversation with my girlfriend about having sex with another guy and me? Take in a breath, open mouth, and let the words flow out. If you can't say the words, how do you expect her to respond in any sort of positive way?
2/ if she is ok how to influence her choice to a certain type of guy ? This is the main question you have posed. Unless the guy is for you, and then it wouldn't be Hotwifing, she should pick her type.

if it's not Hotwifing how do yo udefine it ? threesome ?

[Farmgirl]

The main question was :

1/ what is the best way to start the conversation with my girlfriend about having sex with another guy and me? Take in a breath, open mouth, and let the words flow out. If you can't say the words, how do you expect her to respond in any sort of positive way?
2/ if she is ok how to influence her choice to a certain type of guy ? This is the main question you have posed. Unless the guy is for you, and then it wouldn't be Hotwifing, she should pick her type.

if it's not Hotwifing how do yo udefine it ? threesome ?

[Farmgirl]

The main question was :

1/ what is the best way to start the conversation with my girlfriend about having sex with another guy and me? Take in a breath, open mouth, and let the words flow out. If you can't say the words, how do you expect her to respond in any sort of positive way?
2/ if she is ok how to influence her choice to a certain type of guy ? This is the main question you have posed. Unless the guy is for you, and then it wouldn't be Hotwifing, she should pick her type.

if it's not Hotwifing how do yo udefine it ? threesome ?

Going by what you've said, it sounds more like a threesome with the focus on MMF.
Hotwifing can, and does, for some couples involve threesomes and moresomes. But all threesomes do not fall into the arena of Hotwifing, just as typical swinging does not fall into the limited arena of Hotwifing.
Hotwifing is a small subset of the broader Non-monogamy LS.

[Marinecuckplease]

If shes into it and knows your bi why not make a profile together and find someone you both connect with instead of looking for a ons. Go on a few dates together and find the right one.