Potentially the Start

[MustBeDenied2]

Wishing you and your wife the best as you sort through things.

MBD

[frb]

Thank you for the update DDW. Best of luck with whatever is going on on that end. I'm sorry you've had something to deal with.

-frb

[davidm205]

“ If we are going to continue “ ? That can be taken either one way as relationship or this journey…..

[elina]

Thanks DDW

Really appreciate that you confirmed everything is OK.
Very glad to hear that you are in a dialogue with your Wonderful Wife about where to go next.

Sincerely
elina

[FFDriver]

With your sudden lack of updates and not knowing where y'all live, I feared one of the tornado's might have swept through your area.

I speculate one of those... "Hard NO's" may have surfaced. Whatever the case, I applaud both you and DDWHW for backing up and analyzing the situation before moving forward.

For DDWHW: if that's the situation, remember one thing... not all of us are assholes!

[mundyman]

I wonder if things are happening too fast for his wife…..
It’s one thing to take a lover/boyfriend. It was what hubby wanted and wife eventually felt comfortable doing….
It’s even understandable that she would dress very sexy for the boyfriend, low cut tops, miniskirts with stockings, translucent tops. They were in Vegas, a place known for people letting go and living outside their comfort zone b/c no one knows them…
Even performing at a strip club, in Vegas, what a once in a lifetime experience for a woman who is enjoying living outside her comfort zone, controlled by her boyfriend….
Back seat sex while husband drives, what a fantasy come true for a couple exploring the hotwife lifestyle. Not all that unusual considering everything else she’s done with her boyfriend. It is on many cuckold/hotwife lifestyle forums. A big turn on for both wife and husband…..
But now meeting another couple who are swingers, being with that couple sexually,
The wife exploring her bl-side, is she really bi??
Spending an overnight with the female partner as full on lovers in their marital bed and then spending a weeknight at her boyfriend’s house when he returns from a trip, away….
What else has the boyfriend recently wanted her to do that DDW hasn’t shared with us.
It sounds like things may be beginning to move too fast for either of them to deal with, or become comfortable with…..

This hotwife adventure appears to have taken a turn perhaps neither of them expected.
It’s one thing to have your wife take another male lover, it’s another to see that relationship turn into a swinging relationship.
It seems clear to me that the boyfriend has broken the physical/sexual connection between this couple,
He now appears to be attempting to refocus her sexual attention and needs to other outlets that both husband and wife were not expecting or were ready for.
The expectation of having sex with one man in a hotwife lifestyle is a very different mentality from seeing your wife in a swinging lifestyle and having sexy with many different people….
Or is DDW tired of being continually locked and not having PIV sex with his wife?
I am very interested in DDW or DDWHW providing more information…

[elina]

Mundyman,

What is the purpose of all of this speculation?
I am sure that when they have concluded on where to go next, they will come back and tell us what they are comfortable with.

Sincerely
elina

[Watchinu69]

Mundyman,

What is the purpose of all of this speculation?
I am sure that when they have concluded on where to go next, they will come back and tell us what they are comfortable with.

Sincerely
elina

Ohhhhh But, Your allowed to speculate -- got it

[frb]

I'll try to explain the difference.

Something has happened in the lives of relative strangers, and they have chosen up to now to keep whatever it is private. Speculating negatively and semi-publicly on what it could be is crass and insulting. Speculating positively may turn out to be just as inaccurate, but it is not crass or insulting.

Make sense?

[frb]

the person giving up their power in the relationship is doing it because they find it arousing. How can this be so confusing?

That's not a difficult question to answer: some people find it hard to understand what's arousing about giving up that degree of power. I think it's even more difficult for some people to understand when the man is not just surrendering relationship power, but also surrendering their own power over their own sexuality. A man who enjoys cuckolding as not having a say in who their wife fucks and when, but otherwise shares power equally in their relationship, is probably not able to immediately and intuitively grok why a man would get turned on from ceding total authority over their relationship to the point he doesn't even have control over his own body.

So instead of berating people for not getting it, maybe try and educate why that dynamic can be so arousing?

That's a perfectly reasonable suggestion. And I'm sorry I was too cranky last Friday to take that tack.

I'm not a submissive but I know several well, so although it's generally a bad idea to speak on behalf of others I've had enough in-depth conversations with subs to relay a few things. I'm sure you've heard Oscar Wilde's famous quote: "Everything is about sex except sex. Sex is about power." Whether or not that's true across the board I think for most people courting and sex are more fun when there is a power dynamic involved. Think of any of the most common sexual fantasies and they all involve an imbalance of power. In hetero sex it's stereotypical for the man to have more power than the woman, but all you have to do is browse femdom porn to see there are plenty of men who enjoy an imbalance that gives them less power than their partner.

Even naturally dominant men like it. IRL they are expected to lead and take command, in the workplace, in their families, etc., and it's a relief to get a break from that by being ordered around for a while. For a few precious hours they don't have to make decisions, or take initiative, or compete with anyone, or expend energy defending their honor. With a trusted partner they can dispense with all that responsibility. The contrast between their lives in the bedroom and outside it is interesting and fun to them.

Other men are naturally submissive and much prefer to follow rather than lead, but they feel pressure to hide that "defect" in their masculinity. For these men giving up power in the bedroom isn't so much a temporary vacation as an expression of who they really are inside. Imagine how thrilling it would be to drop the veil and be yourself for once. I think that would be arousing for anyone, no matter what "being yourself" meant.

So there does seem to be a direct connection between power imbalances and human arousal. Meanwhile men are still expected by society to claim their territory and defend it. In the realm of hetero romance this means fully possessing one's girlfriend or wife. Some men do this without even thinking about it. To others it's a chore, and draining. Maintaining possession of something valued by your competition can take constant vigilance. Some men feel they aren't qualified to do this, either because they never were or because they've undergone physical changes to make it much more difficult. Think of the "king of the hill" game. Being king means you're the greatest target, and you live with the knowledge that your reign will last only so long as you are weakened by each battle. Some men find it mentally and emotionally exhausting to maintain romantic and sexual possession of their mate.

A man in this situation has a couple of choices. He can wear himself out trying to hang on to what's his and probably annoy everyone in the process. Or he can turn the threat to his advantage: consciously lose certain battles in order to win the war. What he often discovers is that he actually enjoys losing certain battles. He enjoys being "conquered" and "bested" by others, as long as he's part of the game, because it pushes his power imbalance buttons.

I'll give you one more very common example. A husband loves his wife. He has a high libido. She doesn't seem to. They don't have nearly as much sex as he would like and when they do he feels she's just going through the motions, more out of a sense of obligation than genuine arousal. They try lots of things but in the end nothing helps. This makes the husband feel unattractive and depressed, and the wife feels guilty about the situation but can't seem to change it. They love each other and want each other to be happy, but in the bedroom they're just not compatible.

The husband really wishes his wife had a higher libido. Partly for his own sake, yes, but also for hers. Just to see her excited about sex would make him happier than he is. By now he's given up on being that catalyst for her. Slowly his fantasies begin to revolve around her blossoming sexually, with or without him.

This is the budding hotwife/cuckold relationship. Every one is unique, traveling its own distance along a spectrum from mild to extreme. If done with love, creativity, and an intimate understanding of one's partner, everyone wins, and countless lemons are converted to lemonade.

[mundyman]

Mundyman,

What is the purpose of all of this speculation?
I am sure that when they have concluded on where to go next, they will come back and tell us what they are comfortable with.

Sincerely
elina

This thread and forum are full of speculation. Nothing I wrote was negative or demeaning and only my reaction to what was written. Since the last update was a couple of sentences and not very detailed at that, I would think that speculation on its meaning would be natural.
If you don’t like what was written that’s too bad, move along and enjoy the thread.
Wait for the next update like everyone else.

[Watchinu69]

Mundyman,

What is the purpose of all of this speculation?
I am sure that when they have concluded on where to go next, they will come back and tell us what they are comfortable with.

Sincerely
elina

This thread and forum are full of speculation. Nothing I wrote was negative or demeaning and only my reaction to what was written. Since the last update was a couple of sentences and not very detailed at that, I would think that speculation on its meaning would be natural.
If you don’t like what was written that’s too bad, move along and enjoy the thread.
Wait for the next update like everyone else.

This guy, he gets it

[tovid555]

I hope everything is ok.

[Mike4Fun]

DDW,
You know you have a dedicated audience. I have to question if this was inspired by a very creative mind and the makings of a masterful author or a real life experience. Either way you have us all waiting for the next chapter. Thank you for making our lives more interesting. You sure captured us!
All the best and then some!
Mike

[70ferro]

DDW,
You know you have a dedicated audience. I have to question if this was inspired by a very creative mind and the makings of a masterful author or a real life experience. Either way you have us all waiting for the next chapter. Thank you for making our lives more interesting. You sure captured us!
All the best and then some!
Mike

What Mike has said.

[Deepdownwannabe]

DDWHW here

I know it has been sometime since cuck (or I for that matter) have updated what has been going on, other than cuck's short note a week or so ago saying everything was ok. And everything is ok so please no worries, but it has been quite a few weeks and I wanted to be the one to share this. I am very proud of cuck and very much in love with him still as you will see.

We hit the pause button. Things were going very fast and I felt the need to put a pause on everything. I told my bf I had to do this and he understood. I said by no means was this ending, but I had to do a sanity check for both cuck and myself. I think everyone would agree it has been quite a fast 7 months or so since it started.

So, I guess it was nearly three weeks ago after my night with the other woman it dawned on me things were very fast and getting tricky. So with that in mind I told cuck this was going to stop for awhile and we were going to spend some quality time together. So we did. Some time at home watching tv, some time going out for dinners. Nice times together. And I unlocked cuck from his cage, he was free for the longest time since this started. And we went slowly back into the physical time together, almost like when we first started dating, which was kind of nice and refreshing. I even made a point of making no reference to the last months in any manner. I never wore any of the clothes or outfits I had purchased for my boyfriend.

We had sex together. Nothing wild, nothing over the top, just sex between a wife and her husband and not her cuck. No cleanup or anything like that, it was sex the way we had a year ago. I kept in touch with bf but made no attempt to kindle anything up. Did I have any memories or flashbacks to what my sex life was with him? Of course, I did, how could they not creep in. He had taken me to places I never knew existed and they were amazing. But I was committed to including cuck at this point.

We continued like this until a week ago where after dinner out with a glass or two of wine, we were in bed, and he had just fucked me. We were in our post-hg when he surprised me and asked me point-blank "Do you miss the sex?" Just like that. No intro, no heads up. He just threw it on the table, followed by "be honest". And I felt him hug me, almost imploring me to be just that - very honest. He even poured us a drink thinking that may help get an honest answer.

I think I thought that he would not believe any answer but what I told him. I said I did miss the sex. It was wild, uninhibited and nothing I had ever experienced in my life. A whole new world had been opened up and I was seeing it and living it for the first time. He flinched a little I could tell, but continued with a question or two. "Do you miss your bf?" I had to tell him I did, because the sex was truly that special and he was the one who was bringing it out in me. "Do you like being his sex toy?" It was more than that, but yes I did. All the while I couldn't help but notice he was getting hard again through this conversation that should have been quite uncomfortable. And what happened next was the surprise.

He went down on me, even though he had just came in me earlier. And before I knew it he had worked me up more than I had in the last two weeks. Then he entered me as we were eye to eye, the emotions quite strong. He asked me if I would cage him when we were done. "If I do, then you know what this will mean?" He knew. He knew I would be calling my bf back and we would be resuming. "I want you happy, so promise me you will cage me when we you want". I was shocked but obviously taken in by the moment and just before I climaxed I asked if he was sure. He held me tight as he said yes.

When the moment wore off, I told him to get the cage, thinking it was a spur of the moment mention. He left and returned with it, passing it to me almost ceremonial. I placed it on him, but did not close the lock. "I'll let you do this if you want, but you know what happens if you do?" I even added I thought it would be a bigger moment than the first time I did this and I had no idea where it could lead to this time. His eyes were deep in mine as I heard the lock click shut.

So that was a week ago. I have told bf that, who was away on business, but was nonetheless very excited to hear this. I said I had to step back a bit and slow things down, but we've made arrangements to see each other when he gets back. And cuck has been in his cage ever since. I'm still amazed how this transpired because I know this is much more significant than the beginning.

He will no doubt be back on here at some point to give his perspective on things. Be nice to him, he did something very selfless and I love him even more for that. Where this goes now, I guess time will tell.

DDWHW

[frb]

Thank you very much for the update, DDWHW. I don't think we could have asked for better news. And no I'm not talking about how it affects myself and the rest of your fans. You asserted the control over your trajectory that I knew you had. You checked in with your husband and enjoyed reconnecting in a new way with him. And you both feel fully ready to resume the journey you were on. What could be healthier? What could be sexier? I can't think of anything.

You guys are the best and we wish you all happiness over the next phase. Thank you for sharing it with us.

[Rogueuser1]

Great to have you back! Taking a few weeks off every 6-7 months to focus on each other and your relationship away from the games is probably a good strategy more couples should employ! As fun as it all is you still need to sustain a solid foundation.

[gesdell]

I am enjoying the telling of their relationship behind the scenes more than the descriptions of the sex. Finding out how people deal with this in an everyday setting is very interesting to me. I wish to thank them for sharing a look into their lives and appreciate any experiences that they write about here.

[elina]

Thank you DDWHW

You did the right thing and got a proper reconnect with your husband.
And your wonderful supporting cuck did the right thing because his top priority is to see you happy.

Looking forward to follow the next leg of your journey if both of you will be kind enough to share.

Sincerely
Elina

[kinkydetroit]

DDWHW AND DDW,

I have been reading and rereading your post from yesterday and all the responses. Plus, Plus and Plus. It is really great to hear that you have taken a break to reconnect and insure that you are all on the ride you bought tickets for. I particularly can relate to Gesdell's observation, "Finding out how people deal with this in an everyday setting is very interesting to me". We have been participating in this lifestyle for 15 years and it is reassuring to read how others handle the emotional highs and lows associated with it. Having DDW be the one to close the lock really seals the deal going forward. Best of luck in the coming weeks, months and years hopefully you will keep us all in the loop.

[Long Lurker 34]

Thank you very much for the update, DDWHW. I don't think we could have asked for better news. And no I'm not talking about how it affects myself and the rest of your fans. You asserted the control over your trajectory that I knew you had. You checked in with your husband and enjoyed reconnecting in a new way with him. And you both feel fully ready to resume the journey you were on. What could be healthier? What could be sexier? I can't think of anything.

You guys are the best and we wish you all happiness over the next phase. Thank you for sharing it with us.

DDHW & DDW - With FRB on this.
- Well stated by the way.

[Deepdownwannabe]

Well, my wife has updated you on the last few weeks of all of this, and yes what I did surprised me as well. It was clear to me that she was missing that spark from her new-found sex life and I didn't think I could keep that from her. You could almost see a little spring in her step the last couple days even. I think this is the sacrifice that I am supposed to make for her pleasure, at least that is what all the stories say right?

So, she reached back to him and they agreed to meet this weekend and I'm not foolish enough to know this will be a defining get-together. She told me she is prepared to tell him she is ready to continue in their relationship, but at perhaps a slowed down pace for now. But I also know where this will put me. I know that because she reminded me that my place in all of this will come up. How could it not if she is going back to him, almost apologetically? She said I should be prepared for whatever role is suggested for me and that I should trust her decision making as they are discussing it all. I knew I had to trust her, since I just basically gave her back to him sexually. I think it is out of my hands now.

[elina]

Thank you DDW

I admire your devotion to your wonderful Wife and the thrust you are showing in Her.

What you did was a beautiful thing to do. At the same time I think that having watched your Wife blossom into a even more confident, fit and beautiful Lady enjoying exploring Her sexuality with a Boyfriend who obviously stimulates Her development, you have come to fully appreciate what that has borught both to Her, but also how this has made you confront some of the thing you may have fantasized about but never experienced before; so maybe this was the obvious next step to you now?

No one knows exactly what the next steps will be for you now, it will be decided from the dialogue your Wonderful Wife will have with Her Boy Friend, I think the only thing we can rule out now is that it will be boring....

I am grateful for having been able to follow your yourney so far; I will be even more grateful if you and Her Superior Female Highness Lady DDWHW will continue to share your journey with us here at OHW.

Good luck and sincere regards
elina

[Watchinu69]

The cuck kingdom is now back in balance as relief has been given to those living vicariously in DDW's world ....
let it shine down on those wannabes 🫵