Sending a signal

[Teensy1]

If you’d asked me I wouldn’t have told you that I ever would be a cuckold. I was a jealous and possessive teenager and didn’t want any guy near my girlfriend. I was happy to have my best friend around her, though. She liked him as a friend and always kissed him hello. One evening the kisses grew passionate. Next thing I knew he was playfully squeezing her large breasts and slipping his hand inside her shorts. I watched and didn’t say a word. So they kept going, checking to see my reaction — or lack thereof. Was I giving them the green light without meaning to? Or did I secretly mean to?

[MartasBoy]

If you’d asked me I wouldn’t have told you that I ever would be a cuckold. I was a jealous and possessive teenager and didn’t want any guy near my girlfriend. I was happy to have my best friend around her, though. She liked him as a friend and always kissed him hello. One evening the kisses grew passionate. Next thing I knew he was playfully squeezing her large breasts and slipping his hand inside her shorts. I watched and didn’t say a word. So they kept going, checking to see my reaction — or lack thereof. Was I giving them the green light without meaning to? Or did I secretly mean to?

They both clearly sensed some openness to the idea, on your part, and tested it out. Now would be a good time to have a brief talk with your girlfriend about what it all means. Let her know that you found it exciting to see her enjoy herself, but that you care about her and would not want to lose her to someone else. Ask her what it all means to her.

[Teensy1]

I should have been clearer. This happened many years ago. The kissing and fondling led to my friend pressing his hard cock against her leg. I don’t know what I was thinking but I started rubbing my crotch. “You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?, my girlfriend asked me. When I nodded she pulled my friend’s shorts and underpants down around his ankles, dropped to her knees and began blowing him. When he came in her mouth I spurted on the floor. So we all knew that I wanted to be a cuck.

[walter2000uk]

Yes, of course you wanted to be a cuck, and was finding it all very erotic!
Tell us all as to what happened next, please?
I am my wife Lily's cuckold and we both love it.
Enjoy the lifestyle.

[isinlarsa]

And did your girlfriend continue to cuckold you? Are you still in a cuckold relationship?

[Teensy1]

My girlfriend told me the next day that she couldn’t stop fantasizing about having his cock inside of her but she wouldn’t do it without my blessing. I told her I was fine with it as long as I could watch them. I let my friend know that she wanted to fuck him. He asked if I was sure and I said yes. He came over that night and gave her the ride of her life while I sat in the corner naked and masturbated. It became a regular thing for us for several years until we got married. She said that she would belong exclusively to me because she was wearing my ring. Fifty years later when I became permanently soft from medication we agreed that she should have the option of fucking anyone she cared to. My friend was married then so she ruled him out but there were others who gave her the cock she was missing. It all is quite natural to me. Once a cuck, always a cuck.

[isinlarsa]

Did she take a break from other men between when your friend was fucking her before you married, and when you could no longer get hard because of medication? How long has she been getting other cocks?

[Teensy1]

The only man she fucked other than me was my friend. She didn’t want word getting around that she was a slut. Everything changed after I became impotent. At her suggestion I mentioned to several of my widowed and divorced friends that my wifey was available. They all jumped at the chance to fuck her and she is delighted to be a hotwife. She enjoys threesomes with me sitting naked and tugging at my useless peepee. Then I happily clean up. I was surprised at how much I liked lapping up cum from my buddies.

[hubudig2]

I've been the best friend in similar situations (back before any of us understood our desires).
The "didn't say a word" part rings particularly true for me.
It always seemed like they were stunned into silence/submission and I took that silence as approval.
I always liken it to a rabbit/deer in the headlights, you could avert the situation but it's so shocking and erotic that you find yourself unable to.
It's strange, looking back, at how natural it felt, given that this wasn't a dynamic any of us had been exposed to.

So you both went for 50 years without any cuckolding?
Did you not crave it in that time?

[Teensy1]

I agree. I was transfixed watching my best friend balls-deep in my girlfriend and her moaning with pleasure. I would have loved to be her married cuck but she took her marriage vows seriously. So I was actually happy when I became impotent because it changed everything for her. Could you please tell me how it began with your friend? I’m intrigued.

[hubudig2]

Could you please tell me how it began with your friend? I’m intrigued.

It happened with a few close friends on different occasions. I would feel guilty about doing it because I didn't understand at the time that they enjoyed it. I don't remember what I thought they felt about it but I guess I thought they just put up with it because their girlfriends found it fun?
It felt like I was cursed to keep getting myself into these situations. I found it to be the most erotic dynamic and still do but felt guilty for enjoying it back then.

How it began... assuming you mean in general? Rather than particular situations?
I guess it started off as competitive banter. They would become infatuated about a (single) girl, they would desperately try to seduce her and be bending my ear about how she must be a lesbian or something because she wasn't interested in them. I would joke about me having a go at proving them wrong, they would panic and change the subject.
From there, it gradually progressed to all kinds of situations where I would end up with the girl they liked flirting with me, making out with me or giving me a blowjob while they were present. This sounds farfetched as I'm writing it now but this was back when we were 18-22, out every night and girls... didn't take much seducing...
I think there was a transition from them being scared that I might try it on with the girl they liked to enjoying the risk of it. It was like a challenge for us both and if they lost, they had to watch (they always lost).
They would invite me along to dates and stuff, I remember finding it odd at the time but it became a bit of a running joke that I would end up with their girl.
When they eventually got into relationships, the dynamic continued but with higher stakes.

Can you relate to any of this?
You said you were happy to have your best friend around your girlfriend, did it feel like an enjoyable risk?
Did you pretend to yourself that nothing would happen but give it every opportunity for something to happen?

[Teensy1]

I relate to all of it. It was an enjoyable risk indeed since we had been best friends for years. I did pretend to myself that it was all in fun. But once I saw that she had her tongue in her mouth and that he was squeezing her breasts I knew that they were going to continue. I was, as you say, like a rabbit in the headlights. I couldn’t stop watching them.

[Teensy1]

Once my friend saw me playing with my cock he knew that I was enjoying it. He knew I was a wannabe cuck so he knew he could fuck her and that I wouldn’t make a peep.

[trecital]

I think there was a transition from them being scared that I might try it on with the girl they liked to enjoying the risk of it. It was like a challenge for us both and if they lost, they had to watch (they always lost).
They would invite me along to dates and stuff, I remember finding it odd at the time but it became a bit of a running joke that I would end up with their girl.
When they eventually got into relationships, the dynamic continued but with higher stakes.

This sounds, from what you've written, that early on you tried and succeeded in seducing some of your male friends girlfriends, or potential girlfriends.
Did you actually have full sex with any of the girlfriends, in front of your friends?
You also mention it continuing "with higher stakes". Was this with their wives? How high were the stakes?
Sounds interesting.

[hubudig2]

This sounds, from what you've written, that early on you tried and succeeded in seducing some of your male friends girlfriends, or potential girlfriends.

Yeah I suppose that's true but it was a gradual progression from light-hearted flirting with girls we had a mutual interest in.
Sometimes I pursued the girl, sometimes the girl pursued me, sometimes it was a mutual temptation we both tried not to give into (those were the most exciting).
AFAIK, nobody ever got hurt, or if they did, I never heard about it.

Did you actually have full sex with any of the girlfriends, in front of your friends?

No, I never had full intercourse with their girlfriends in front of them.
I did have sex with some of their girlfriends without them present and I did engage in some sexual acts with them present, but we never reached the level of both at the same time.
I look back now and see missed potential but in all honesty I don't think any of us were ready for that then and we lost touch before it got that far.

You also mention it continuing "with higher stakes". Was this with their wives? How high were the stakes?

I suppose the highest stakes were when they were in meaningful relationships and/or other people were present to witness it.
Looking back, I find it interesting how willing and natural it seemed for the women to participate in this dynamic.

[Teensy1]

I agree. If the attraction is strong enough many women have no problem cucking their hubbies and boyfriends.

[hubudig2]

I think most guys are capable of being stunned into submission like this, it's only once they experience it that they realise how erotic and intoxicating it feels.
If a big, muscular, classy, confident, witty guy starts flirting with your wife, what can you do?
Pretend that he's not a threat in the hope that your confidence sees him off?
Plead with your wife to ignore him?
Chances are she'll play it down, pretend he's not flirting because she enjoys the attention.

A guy watching his wife be seduced will probably experience a mixture of anger, denial and turned-on.
To start with it'll be mostly anger and denial e.g. when she's laughing at his jokes.
As the chemistry and body language ramps up, it'll start to become a bit less anger and slightly erotic.
Seeing her become putty in another guys hands will trigger something.
I guess like a fight-or-flight reaction, the husband will either lash out, do nothing or leave.
Either way, he's just experienced that he's powerlessly at the mercy of his wife's ability to be seduced.
There's so many factors at play by this point but to go back to Teensy1's original scenario, you said were jealous and possessive as a teenager, I imagine you'd be inclined to lash out at a stranger making advances but you're less likely to feel anger towards your best friend. Without the anger, it's mostly denial and turned-on. You weren't giving the green light, the lights were out completely so they proceeded cautiously.

[Teensy1]

You’re quite right. I never felt angry because he was my best friend, my girlfriend liked him and I knew they were just fooling around. Then their chemistry kicked in and I was spellbound watching them. Once they saw me rubbing myself they knew they could keep going.

[MatureMaleMass]

When I was on my first ship, one of my roommates and I were on duty one night before sailing the next day, and he said he had forgotten his dress uniform. He was the command duty officer for the night, so couldn’t leave, but had the authority to let me go and pick it up, which he asked me to do.

When I got to his condo, his wife was putting their young kids to bed, but was already in her long nighty. She asked me to wait, that she’d come down with it in a little bit which I thought was a bit odd. She came down, went and got herself a glass of wine, and asked me if I’d like one too. I said I couldn’t , that I had duty, and she said: it’s OK, Davey won’t mind. I figured what the hell, said yes, and sat on the couch. When she came back, she sat on the other end of the small couch with her back against the armrest and her legs laying toward me. She said her tootsies were sore from being on her feet all day, and I took the cue and asked her if she’d like a massage.…. I figured, she was dressed provocatively, sat on the couch versus one of their armchairs, and for all intents and purposes was asking me for a foot massage. all intensive purposes was asking me for a foot massage.

You can imagine where that ended; it was hot, coming back to the ship, giving him his uniform, and having his wife’s juices on my cock. He asked me what took me so long, and I lied to him and told him that I stopped by my house and had ‘taken’ care of my wife. He bought the story, now many years later I have doubts about him believing me.

I saw her again a few times before he left the Navy and they returned to Georgia. I was 24 at the time and didn’t know anything about the lifestyle, but my guess is that he was a cuckold, and him asking me to go to his house to pickup his dress uniform was just a set up for me to fuck his wife.

I wish I knew them what I know now about couples… Lol it took me another 12 years before I learned some men like sharing their wives, but that is another story.

[canadianwittol]

OP,

I think you'd find that most of us going back to childhood did not think we would end up being cuckolds.

I can relate to how you felt because I was much the same in that in my school aged year I was possessive, jealous and basically at its' root, deeply insecure in my ability to be a desired lover. Those exact feelings are, in my opinion, what got turned on their head and set you up to be a cuck. It's precisely because you were possessive and jealous that to you there would be no greater shame or humiliation than finding out you had been cheated on.

Were you to be cheated on, it would be the ultimate indictment against your masculinity; wheras other men would "kick her to the curb" and go find a new girlfriend right away, you felt an impending sense of doom at the thought of being cheated on, and as a result, your subconscious was trying to prepare for this eventuality by beginning to eroticize it so that were it ever to happen your mind's last line of defence would be to reward you with the endorphins that come from being turned on. I know this because that is exactly what happened to me.

When I was in college I somehow, not even able to believe my own luck, ended up with this super hot and sexy French Canadian girl. Besides being attractive she was also smart, had a dry, dark sense of humour and was fiercely independent. Many things I learned about her later began to explain her personality; she had run away from home in her mid teens and had led a promiscuous life living with friends and sleeping on couches. I was also later to learn that since her first boyfriend at the age of 14 she had never once; not to a single boyfriend had she ever once been faithful.

I did not know it at the time but her picking me out; a bookish, academic nerdy "good guy" was in one sense her attempt at trying to turn over a new leaf and pick out a man who would be "good for her". However, while she was just the second woman I would have sex with, I was later to learn that I on the other hand was her 21st partner.

You can see where this is going: the following St. Patrick's Day I finally learned what had been true since the night of our second date: she'd been cheating on me; regularly. We were both fairly drunk in the bar on St. Patty's and the evening ended when her ex (who came to the student bar looking for her) took her home. She had been outside with him having a cigarette (I didn't smoke) and outside he had said to her let's get out of here. She came back to our table to pick up her purse and without looking me in the eye told me she was really, really sorry but she was going home with him. Most surprising of all was how I sat there and did nothing but watch her walk out, knowing that her intention was to have sex with her ex. I sat there stewing in rage. I went home and cried.

The following morning, terribly hungover, she called me in tears. She was devastated and ashamed by her own behaviour. How could she be so cruel to a man who had been nothing but nice to her? I was the best boyfriend she'd ever had. We got together at a Starbucks. She cried the entire time. If I'd take her back, she wanted to make the effort to clear the air and be completely honest. She admitted that she'd been fucking him the entire time throughout our relationship, but that it meant nothing and the reason he was her ex was because she didn't care about him. It became even more painful to realize I had in fact been duped for months, but she was also very obviously genuinely sorry.

Here's the thing about Darwinism: I knew right away; I knew in my heart of hearts that there was no way I was going to score a better girl than this one. OK she cheated; but why give up her pussy for myself? There was certainly no guarantee as a nerdy, poor student that I was going to get any better - in fact it was almost a certainty that I wouldn't. Plus I really did like her, she was a lot of fun to hang out with. And so I made a very practical decision: I would forgive her. And while I didn't yet know of the word "cuckold" at the time, this was my first conscious decision to essentially accept having been made one.

Of course she'd promised it was finally really over with him - but of course, it was not. A few more months later and one night we ended up back at her place and I reached into her nightstand for the little blue box of 3 trojan condoms I'd bought the last time I'd come over. There was one condom in the box. There should have been two. Being a poor student I had accounted for my every purchase like a zealous auditor. There's a condom missing.

To her credit, again she confessed right away. He was over again. What was she supposed to do? He'd just turned up at her door at 1 in the morning and what was she supposed to do? He had been drunk and didn't want him to get back into his car. So he came in and it just happened. Again she was sorry, again she cried again she said didn't know what she was supposed to do and that she'd even planned to tell me about it because I deserved to know the truth, but didn't want to hurt my feelings.

Again, I forgave her. From here on out, what developed was a lot more like a "don't ask, don't tell" policy. I was no longer naive. I knew she was cheating and she knew that I knew.

Still I wasn't happy about it. A few months later again, now coming up on our being together almost a year, I went by her house on a summer evening and saw her ex's motorcycle in the driveway. My face flushed with anger and humiliation. I parked my car. She was living in a basement suite and I walked quietly up the driveway alongside the house towards the windows of the basement suite. As I got closer to the bedroom window, which was open, I could unmistakably hear his heavy breathing and her moaning. The scenarios raced through my head: was this the moment I would finally barge in and threaten to kick this guy's ass? If I had done that my ass would have been kicked. Do I barge in and tell them I won't be treated like this anymore, it's over? Now he's the one with continued access to her pussy while I will be cutting myself off.

In the end, I didn't have to make a decision because her dog barked at my presence. That triggered my fight or flight instinct - and I took flight. I got into my car and left, pretending as though it had never happened and knowing that it was merely a window into her private moments spent in the whole previous year. Now I knew the unmistakable truth: for as long as I continued in this relationship, I would be a cuckold, although I still did not really know this word.

Going into our final year, I finally gave up my dormspace in order to split the rent with her on her basement suite knowing that by the end of the year we'd both be moving anyway, so what was the worst that could happen? I'd save what was for me a huge pile of money and of course - I thought - perhaps I'd be able to keep a more watchful eye over her pussy.

If you've read this far then you'll already know that I was wrong again. It wasn't three weeks living together before a night that she didn't come home until the next morning. This time she wasn't even apologetic about it. With the end of school in sight, she announced to me that we were both too young to be in completely monogamous relationships and that she didn't want to "waste" her college years being faithful to just one man. What's the big deal? Without saying it in so many words she said I already knew she was cheating, so what was the problem? To be fair she had said that I should go get myself a girlfriend to have more experiences of my own too - but I genuinely didn't want to. I knew then that I was what you'd call a "nester" committed to being faithful in a relationship; and had already proven to myself that when confronted with the reality of being cuckolded that I would accept those terms.

The last three months that we were together dropped any remaining pretences: she openly cheated and would let me know if she was going out, or was having someone else over to our place. Not in a mean way, actually in her mind I think she was genuinely trying to be respectful and to either stay out of my way or make sure I knew not to come home and be presented with an affront to my pride. In these last few months the fact that was cheating so openly could not be contained: I suffered the further indignity of it becoming well known amongst our group of friends that she was fucking other guys and that I knew about it and did nothing about it. I tried to act like I was totally cool with it and that we were merely one of many "progressive" type couples on campus who had a more "advanced" view of human relationships. In truth I was deeply jealous and felt constantly humiliated.

But then came the crazy twist. In the months that followed our break-up, which incredibly owed more to changing geography than anything else, I began to think back on the crazy two years that I'd spent with this young woman - and began to masturbate furiously at these memories. As I began googling various descriptions of what I had gone through, I was soon to discover yahoo groups and online forums that left me with an unmistakable description of what I was. I could finally after more than two years put a single word, a convenient label on my experiences and many, many humiliations experienced in that time. Finally I could use a word that described the man she had made me and the man I was to become.

I knew I was a cuckold.