Advice: Taking the Next Step

[CuriousOHC2]

Hello. My wife and I are 42 years old and have been married for 20 years. She is 5’9, blonde hair, blue eyes, gorgeous/beautiful, curvy (in all the right places), mom bod, still perky B-cups, and an amazingly shaped (perfectly thick) ass. We are both completely straight.

We have discussed things over the past 5 years or so, and even taken some “small” steps. But there are some particulars and roadblocks that have prevented it from becoming a full reality.

Let me start with a little back story. I am so incredibly turned on by this woman. Every imperfection is perfection. I am never satisfied in bed unless she is satisfied. I enjoy, more than anything myself sexually, when she is having the utmost pleasure. Hence the start of this “fantasy.” I have told her and I will tell you; being able to watch her have passionate, incredible sex with someone bigger and better than me would be INCREDIBLE. Being a part of it would be even better (again, completely straight). There is no ulterior motive to this fantasy, for us. It is simply about sex and pleasure. We both agree on all of that, but we haven’t pursued it much for a variety of reasons. I fear doing things like this with someone we know, and she fears doing things like this with someone she doesn’t know.

A few year’s ago we actually propositioned one of my best friends. And even got as far as my wife performing oral sex on him one time. But I simply couldn’t get over the awkwardness of it being my friend, nor could he, and it stalled out before going further. I have told my wife though, I still fantasize about how that went down (I was not in the room). Which tells me that no, this is not just a fantasy that we should NOT pursue. She enjoyed it (when she came upstairs, I hadn’t felt her that wet since we were dating in our early 20s), I enjoyed knowing she enjoyed it; why would we not take the next step? I often think about that night and wish we would have played it all differently. Grrr…

Year’s later, progress is still completely stalled; and I am ready and (I believe) she is ready to get out of it. But the right person has just not been there to approach this with. So where do we go? Do I continue to just fantasize about seeing my wife being pleased in ways that I cannot, and does she just continue to have a mundane, run-of-the-mill sex life knowing that so much more could be available?

I often think about how we move forward with this. Like I said before, no one we know is a candidate at this time. They’re either married (she nor I are homewreckers), or not an option for attraction reasons. Do I do a set-up with someone online and say he is who he isn’t? “My college roommate ‘John Smith’ will be stopping by Saturday night to hang out and have some drinks.” Do I plan a random “chance” meeting while out on the town? Book a hotel room, with or near a local bar, find someone and have them “randomly” hit on her while we are out for drinks? I simply don’t know, and I fear that both of those options are deceiving. Which is certainly not something I want anyone to be in this situation. And where do you even find someone to randomly do either of those things without sounding like a nutjob?

Online websites and dating apps are a no go. We have scrolled through them in the past. But she has fears about safety, cleanliness, etc (and obviously I share some of those).

So I guess I am asking for help. Has anyone been here? And what would you suggest to help us pursue this?

[snoogaloo82]

Hello. My wife and I are 42 years old and have been married for 20 years. She is 5’9, blonde hair, blue eyes, gorgeous/beautiful, curvy (in all the right places), mom bod, still perky B-cups, and an amazingly shaped (perfectly thick) ass. We are both completely straight.

We have discussed things over the past 5 years or so, and even taken some “small” steps. But there are some particulars and roadblocks that have prevented it from becoming a full reality.

Let me start with a little back story. I am so incredibly turned on by this woman. Every imperfection is perfection. I am never satisfied in bed unless she is satisfied. I enjoy, more than anything myself sexually, when she is having the utmost pleasure. Hence the start of this “fantasy.” I have told her and I will tell you; being able to watch her have passionate, incredible sex with someone bigger and better than me would be INCREDIBLE. Being a part of it would be even better (again, completely straight). There is no ulterior motive to this fantasy, for us. It is simply about sex and pleasure. We both agree on all of that, but we haven’t pursued it much for a variety of reasons. I fear doing things like this with someone we know, and she fears doing things like this with someone she doesn’t know.

A few year’s ago we actually propositioned one of my best friends. And even got as far as my wife performing oral sex on him one time. But I simply couldn’t get over the awkwardness of it being my friend, nor could he, and it stalled out before going further. I have told my wife though, I still fantasize about how that went down (I was not in the room). Which tells me that no, this is not just a fantasy that we should NOT pursue. She enjoyed it (when she came upstairs, I hadn’t felt her that wet since we were dating in our early 20s), I enjoyed knowing she enjoyed it; why would we not take the next step? I often think about that night and wish we would have played it all differently. Grrr…

Year’s later, progress is still completely stalled; and I am ready and (I believe) she is ready to get out of it. But the right person has just not been there to approach this with. So where do we go? Do I continue to just fantasize about seeing my wife being pleased in ways that I cannot, and does she just continue to have a mundane, run-of-the-mill sex life knowing that so much more could be available?

I often think about how we move forward with this. Like I said before, no one we know is a candidate at this time. They’re either married (she nor I are homewreckers), or not an option for attraction reasons. Do I do a set-up with someone online and say he is who he isn’t? “My college roommate ‘John Smith’ will be stopping by Saturday night to hang out and have some drinks.” Do I plan a random “chance” meeting while out on the town? Book a hotel room, with or near a local bar, find someone and have them “randomly” hit on her while we are out for drinks? I simply don’t know, and I fear that both of those options are deceiving. Which is certainly not something I want anyone to be in this situation. And where do you even find someone to randomly do either of those things without sounding like a nutjob?

Online websites and dating apps are a no go. We have scrolled through them in the past. But she has fears about safety, cleanliness, etc (and obviously I share some of those).

So I guess I am asking for help. Has anyone been here? And what would you suggest to help us pursue this?

Have you tried those STI kits that you can get at pharmacies? That's what my sweetie insists on with any partner that she has. In fact one guy refused, so he was instantly eliminated from frolicking with her. That way she can go without any condom and not worry about cleanliness.

[MnJSanDiego]

Instead of putting all this stress on yourselves trying to find a guy on the internet or randomly, who may or may not be out there, why not just put her in the right environment, a swinger club "just to watch", a nude beach, Temptation or Desire in Cancun, Palm Springs has 3 nude resorts.

Instead of saying we have to find a guy which freaks out most women, why not just say lets have fun and just watch the other people.

There are also Hotwife gatherings, check out Front Porch Swingers, they are always talking about the ones they go to in Vegas and AZ.

Put her in the right environment and all of a sudden the attention and flirting will handle the rest for you..

[leo-cpl]

I think advice by MnJSanDiego is super, I also feel since your first experience was with a friend you guys hit a roadblock. Please do try and set her up, women hate to be lied to and if you are caught you can say goodbye to her being the Hotwife you want.

In our experience living in a decently big city it is possible to find the right people online, you need to invest time in the screening process and meet casually after the screening to check if vibes match. My wife is not the ONS kinds, never has been. Whatever you end up trying your chances of success increase when the wifes are comfortable and having fun. Good Luck!

[Abrandnewstart194]

Whatever you do, DON’T deceive her. It doesn’t matter if it works, or not. Deception is so disrespectful of her as a person, and of her right to do what she wants. Tricking her into it - even if she never finds out - would be a hidden cancer on your relationship.

[Her number1]

Whatever you do, DON’T deceive her. It doesn’t matter if it works, or not. Deception is so disrespectful of her as a person, and of her right to do what she wants. Tricking her into it - even if she never finds out - would be a hidden cancer on your relationship.

CuriousOHC2,
This is the best advice you've been given yet, by far!

[Gearup]

"Mundane run of the mill sex life"

Clearly I know very little about you but it sounds like you fantasize about going from 0 - 60 in 2.5 seconds. Great fantasy! Lease a plaid Tesla for that thrill and save significant $ in legal fees and tons of emotional capital.

Instead, why not FIRST make her YOUR Hotwife - make a serious effort to "truly spice up your sex life" and fuck your wife like crazy (like you haven't in many years - be honest with yourself) instead of lending her out to others. It takes real effort and planning. Buy some quality toys, invest in bondage gear, bite her ass, spank her, get a blindfold and feather tickler and tickle every inch of her body for an hour and then choke fuck her, start a collection of plugs and get her to wear them out while going commando in a sundress, dominate her and make her wear a collar and leash and be subservient, take her to shop for some Louboutins and sexy lingerie and then book an exotic vacation and fuck her again. Fuck her at the Ritz, in a cheap pay by the hour motel, and in the bathroom stall of a dingy bar. in short - get serious about the relationship you have with the person you married 20 years ago. Do all that, celebrate her and that and after doing it all see if you still have the need or desire to give her to someone else. Love is a daily decision.

oh, and while you are enjoying yourself and your wife, buy a travel size Fascinator from Liberator to save a lot of clean up in bed. That and a towel will work well when she starts squirting like a firehose.

[Bridget_Joshua]

You have not explored the lifestyle completely it was just a one time thing, we think you should try watching men flirting with your wife, touching her thighs, kissing, fingering or breast fondling or whatever. If it excites you then taking it to another levels seems of sense. Where you can meet guys in Clubs/Bars as for us we enter seperately and i sit at a distance from Bri with her surroundings visible, men being men usually hit on her and having ball in her court she decides on the fuckable guy & tells them about us & lifestyle. Sometimes the guy needs assurance from me & a nod does it. We further take it to dates & discuss what we are looking for & while Bri excuses herself for washroom i tell them if she is ready she will sit with him & put her panties in his pocket then the scenario changes and they are the couple while i am just a third wheel/ a mutual friend & at the end of the date the guy is gonna get lucky because Bri is a goddess & she fucks amazing.