Young married guy here

[wannabecUKold]

After the initial shock which got you sent to the couch, she has come round to the idea much more than I expected. She seems to have been reading up about it.

Don’t mention Adam, but think of ways for him to show his body off, such as you all sunbathing together. This is not so that she has sex with him but so that seeing him can trigger thoughts of sex with another man in her mind. Take it easy.

But, leaving Adam aside, you should take this forward in other ways. Strike while the iron is hot. Be in no doubt, she is turned on by the thought.

The obvious suggestion is that she should have an erotic massage. This avoids the risk of an emotional connection building up. (She says she needs one, but she will soon get used to a masseur touching her,)

[sandy691196]

Dude! Pump the brakes! You need to take the time to fully recognize and understand the emotional firecracker you just set off for your wife! Sure she seems willing now, but seriously, why? She spent 2 days believing your relationship was significantly and truly messed up. She’s likely reacting in a “how can I salvage my marriage” mindset. That’s NOT a healthy emotional place to start exploring in real life! Seriously… only think from HER perspective! Stop thinking with your dick!! She is no where close to being able to emotionally handle connecting with another guy (as she said she needs) after the emotional shit storm she just went through.

"..She’s likely reacting in a “how can I salvage my marriage” mindset. That’s NOT a healthy emotional place to start exploring in real life!"
This is profound and so on the dot.

Just "yes" doesn't mean nothin' .. Good, devoted wives would say yes to a helluva lotta things to keep things stable. But believe me ( I have gone the mile), this kinda yes can later backfire. A lifetime of recriminations and regrets and blame-games can follow.. And that too if its with a loser (in her view) like Adam..

[Vin231]

You are getting some very good advice and you should take it all in. Now that Lauren is aware and sorta on board I would go very slow. Not need to rush this. It is going to be a big step for Lauren to have sex with another guy first off... so Lauren is the one who should pick the guy and I don't think Adam would be her choice of lovers. That is some pillow talk that you two should have first. Talk about the fantasy and what type of guy would she be interested in having sex with first. Make it all about her..... it might be just want is needed to go to the next step. Baby steps is best at the point I think.

[RunDannyRun]

Thanks a lot for your suggestions. I will take this slow.

[dadah]

hi dan - i am so glad you leveled with lauren about your kink!! smart move!! in spite of her initial reaction, i sense from your reporting a latent interest in the whole concept on her part. be patient and don't push any issues with her. let her engage you with her questions and bringing the whole issue up. time is on your side. look for her interest in engaging you in conversation. when she does, b upfront candid with her. if she asks you if you want other men to fuck her, the answer to that quesion is a resounding yes!! don't hold back, but don't push. let her push the envelope !! and i look forward to further developments !!

good luck, da

[RunDannyRun]

Hello folks,

Another update but technically nothing happened. I mean literally nothing happened. It has been a week since my wife mentioned that she might try hooking up with another man but she didn't bring it up even once. In my last update, while Lauren and I were fighting, I wished that she would forget that I ever introduced her to cuckolding. Seems like my wish became true. She didn't mention it even once since last week. It's like she completely forgot about our fight we had after I brought up cuckolding. Following the advice of some folks here, I didn't bring it up. We had sex today morning and it was fairly uneventful. I thought she might bring something up afterwards but she acted like last week's fight never happened.

For what it's worth, I know for a fact that she masturbated a couple of times in the middle of the night past week. I am a fairly light sleeper and I got woken up by her movements. I never experienced this before (well maybe once but it was so long ago) and honestly I should have asked if she wanted to have sex but I was too tired and sleepy. But during the day she was her usual self. We even visited our friends to play some board games and she was completely normal. I am a bit confused and I am wondering if I should just forget about this just go back to our old lives like Lauren is doing.

On Adam's front there are very minor developments. Adam started running with me twice a week. Lauren joined us yesterday for a small 5k training run. Lauren and I broke barely any sweat but Adam was panting and huffing by the time we finished. Lauren joked about how pointless his muscles are when it comes to running. Adam was too tired to say anything. I saw him checking her out a couple of times but Lauren showed no interest in him apart from some normal and chaste conversations here and there.

[CandA]

Sounds like she definitely is enjoying some private erotic thoughts more so that is her norm! That’s great!

Still, I don’t think I’d intrude into her mental entertainment by asking about it. She isn’t sharing her thinking with you, but is very likely enjoying and becoming accustomed to coming while enjoying the images in her head.

I say give her some time to continue allowing her to normalize coming from her fantasies while masturbating.

I hope her nighttime masturbation continues.. if it does, respond by trying to help masturbate her, and see if she will welcome you into her solo play. I still would not reintroduce the idea yet.

If she doesn’t continue her nightly masturbation, then in bed one night you can mention that you were so tired last week that you were too tired to join her when she was norny and apologize for leaving her alone and horny. Maybe she will open up on her own.

Just my 2¢.. your mileage may vary

Curtis

[sandy691196]

All fantasies ain't meant to happen. Don't push it. Life is more important. You have planted the seed. Let it germinate. Rest assured, she is thinking about it all the time.
She was jolted big time at first. She tried to retain the relationship through acceptance. But that was unhealthy acceptance. Now she is getting back to normal. Relief and stability. She is back to safety. However the idea still makes her hot. Let it build up. Watch her moves. On a long weekend suggest watching porn. Don't choose the title yourself. Let her choose.
If she asks you to choose, you respond that you dare not since your fantasies make her angry.

This will reassure her that she has control over this part of your relationship. Then see how she responds.

Take care.

[dadah]

there is a reason she is playing with herself in the middle of the night, and i'd bet it has a lot to do with your disclosure of your kink to her. be patient!! and good luck!

[user322]

Hello, if your wife reacted and accepted your cuckold fantasy so quickly, and in addition she masturbates (probably on this theme), it is because she is perhaps ready to go further....

You obviously have to respect his pace and not impose anything on him or go too quickly, but on the other hand I think you can start to make allusions from time to time. No need to speak too directly, and say a lot of things. But you can make allusions regularly, and see how she reacts. If she continues to be excited you can talk to her more and more about it, without being too intrusive either, you have to find a balance.
And if she reacts to all this positively, one day you can tell a joke about your brother, point out to him that he's tall, that he doesn't have a girlfriend and that he might need to sex, etc.
(I think you shouldn't have told your brother to dress better when he's at your house..... for this kind of event you should take things cool and show that you're relaxed about it to show your wife that it's not very important, this can create in your wife's mind the idea that all this kind of thing is part of normality and that it doesn't bother you....and move forward like this little by little.)

If from the start she reacts negatively to the little remarks you make over time, calm things down and come talk to us about it here.

Good luck .

[dadah]

making any progress dan in getting inside lauren's head between her legs ?

[marriedky]

The seed is planted. Let her do with it as she wants. Fingers crossed in the next few months or God forbid years you’ll be able to see a big pair of bull balls swinging as your wife is fucked good and you can enjoy reclaiming her

[RunDannyRun]

Hey folks... Nothing much to update. She didn't mention cuckolding at all this past week. I did wake up during the nights and she was in deep sleep and I didn't catch her masturbating. Maybe she is just pretending that I never mentioned this and trying act as if nothing happened. I am okay with this actually. I am coming to accept that my cuckold fantasies shouldn't destroy our relationship. Thanks a lot to everyone for their suggestions and advice.

[sandy691196]

Hi Run..
You are a sensible guy who has the usual LS fantasies but who values the primary relationship and loves his wife. Thats your priority.

We just helped with putting things in perspective. You haven't pushed her. You haven't let your dick lead your life..

But since you have put the idea in her head, it's unlikely that she would let it drop for ever. She is just taking time to feel normal and stable in your relationship.

I bet it will resurface one day. She will be more comfortable when it comes up next. She now knows you are a normal partner with kinky fantasies and not a weirdo. So she will trust you a lot more next time it comes up.

Have fun

[afagehi7]

Hey @SheLikesWhenIWatch. Thanks for the detailed response.

For what it is worth, I had always been an anxious person and I didn't even want to buy the house as I thought we were not ready. Lauren is more optimistic and confident person and she was the one who convinced me to buy the house toghether. Lauren and I earn decently and even when there was a chance that I was gonna get laid off, Lauren was not at all bothered as she knew that I have majored in computer science from a top-tier university and I work for a very reputable company. We bought a modest home in an exurb (we both work remote/work from home) and we had some help from Lauren's family. We are also very disciplined when it comes to saving and keeping ourselves fit (we cook 6 days a week at home and go out once in a week to our favorite spot, run a lot).

My performance issues are mainly due to general anxiety that has been plaguing me for sometime but got exacerbated last year.

I will probably not do anything for now and just observe them.

CS -- that's pretty broad. I'm in CS, what do you do? What's your dev stack?

[dadah]

dan - has lauren shown any recent interest?

[RunDannyRun]

CS -- that's pretty broad. I'm in CS, what do you do? What's your dev stack?

I mainly work in c++ and recently some python.

[RunDannyRun]

dan - has lauren shown any recent interest?

I have no news. Lauren didn't bring up cuckolding at all in the last few weeks. Adam moved out of our house much before the 6 weeks were up. So cuckolding will probably be just a fantasy for the coming few years. I will probably bring it up sometime in future. But we are doing well as a couple. I have less stress at work and Lauren is also doing very well at work. I don't want to rock the boat now. Thanks to everyone for their advice.

[Gulfcpl]

dan - has lauren shown any recent interest?

I have no news. Lauren didn't bring up cuckolding at all in the last few weeks. Adam moved out of our house much before the 6 weeks were up. So cuckolding will probably be just a fantasy for the coming few years. I will probably bring it up sometime in future. But we are doing well as a couple. I have less stress at work and Lauren is also doing very well at work. I don't want to rock the boat now. Thanks to everyone for their advice.

Good decision.

[sandy691196]

dan - has lauren shown any recent interest?

I have no news. Lauren didn't bring up cuckolding at all in the last few weeks. Adam moved out of our house much before the 6 weeks were up. So cuckolding will probably be just a fantasy for the coming few years. I will probably bring it up sometime in future. But we are doing well as a couple. I have less stress at work and Lauren is also doing very well at work. I don't want to rock the boat now. Thanks to everyone for their advice.

This is the best outcome in the present circumstances :

1. The idea has been discussed and tentative agreement arrived at without any definite action plan.

2. Adam was an area of discomfort in your marriage. He came, your wife tolerated. He tried to behave. He no doubt appreciated the help. He moved out amicably.

3. You dodged a bullet in that phase since your wife was confronted with 2 major areas of discomfort : the Hotwife idea + Adam's presence. You did the wise thing by not linking the two! That could have freaked her out.

4. Now both of you are doing well professionally. There is peace at home. Your marriage is in a good place. How are things in bed? It would be a good idea to show her a good time in bed now and really really make her feel loved. Let the value of the relationship go up and up in her perception. THEN my friend, one day she may tentatively bring it up, as a "marriage enricher". Just ensure that she doesn't act out the variation itch alone. Which has happened in some cases where the hubby introduces the idea, the wife marinates it in her mind and then one day acts on it without his knowing.

5. So improving the marriage constantly is a must to make her value it more and more..Then things will play out. Take a bet !

[wannabecUKold]

I don’t disagree with the general thrust of taking things slowly. And Sandy's comments are very wise. But I think it would be a shame if this topic became a taboo subject between you two and was never spoken about again. I think you would run the risk of pissing her off.

Remember, you gave her a shock when you first mentioned the idea and she angrily sent you to sleep on the couch. But then she came round to agreeing to do it (i.e to actually be fucked by another man, incredibly) for your sake because you wanted it. That means that she thought about and accepted the idea that she should have another man mount her body and that his cock should go inside her and she would receive his seed in sexual pleasure. It was a dramatic turnround in her way of thinking. We know she found it arousing and that she masturbated at night thinking about it. She now wants to do it. She hasn't forgotten about it.

If you now drop the subject, she is likely to be pissed off that you took her up and down the rollercoaster of emotions for no purpose. And you are denying her something she now wants, (albeit perhaps still against her better nature). All talk and no action.

So I would raise the topic again very gently. You can move in that direction by, for instance, suggesting you go to a nudist beach, where she can show her body off. Or when you’re on holiday, you can arrange a male masseur for her. Or encourage her to dress sexily and flirt in front of other men. Things that she is in control of.

Remember, she is a sexual being, with her own lusts, which you have now awakened. She is not the virgin Mary.

[sandy691196]

I was thinking of watching porn together.. Clothing optional beach is a good idea if close at hand.
How about a strip joint on a birthday or anniversary or for celebrating some work related success ?

[RunDannyRun]

Thanks for your words. We are doing great right now. I am able to sleep well and we are planning to go to Poconos for a few days soon. Regarding our sex life, it is not that great compared to what I have read here. We have sex once a week (usually on Fridays) but apparently this is low? After reading a few posts on this forum, I am amazed at guys (the bulls usually) who have enough time and stamina to have sex almost every day and multiple times a day.

[Gulfcpl]

Danny, I wouldn’t worry about what you read here. Normal is whatever you and her do. If you two are happy, who cares what anyone else thinks? Take most of the advice here with a grain of salt. What works for some doesn’t work for everyone. This lifestyle isn’t meant for everyone.

[sandy691196]

Thanks for your words. We are doing great right now. I am able to sleep well and we are planning to go to Poconos for a few days soon. Regarding our sex life, it is not that great compared to what I have read here. We have sex once a week (usually on Fridays) but apparently this is low? After reading a few posts on this forum, I am amazed at guys (the bulls usually) who have enough time and stamina to have sex almost every day and multiple times a day.

What is normal for you two is normal and ideal in your life. Just make sure it's OK with her too