Something really strange

[leggysman]

I - and I'm sure most readers here - all have the same kink, and understand how strong it can feel. Like you'd give almost anything. Fantasizing about it every single day ... it's intense.

It's your marriage, but I don't think you should put the kink before the relationship. Cheating is dishonesty, sneakiness, selfishness, and betrayal. I don't think you should be OK with that.

If (big if!) she wants to play with others, it should be based on mutual understanding that she wants to, and you want her to, and that it's something you choose together, and there should be no secrets. And if it happens, she should consider your needs and wants as well. It's a team sport.

[Pecannut]

I think colleagues are quite natural choice in case she would prefer knowing her potential parter in crime.

Wish you all the best and thank you for sharing your experience with us!

[superb101]

How was her trip to the gym yesterday? Any new developments?

[jadedbutcurious]

McRex,

SMACK! WAKE UP! RED ALERT!

You are allowing your love to blind you to the cold hard truth. You have her high on a pedestal. She knows it. She is now disrespecting you in the ultimate way.
You really need to spend some time on Reddits cheating forums and read read read.
She is cheating on you. If you are ok with cheating that means you are ok with lying and mistrust.
NO marriage survives mistrust. No marriage survives cheating. Those marriages that do reconcile are still forever changed.
1. Changes in sexual behaviour with your spouse is the number one sign that something is going on. YOU said she was previously physically participatory and vocal. NOW she is not. RED FLAG Most people see a decrease in activity sometimes winding down to a complete halt.
2. Change of attire or appearance and grooming. Her now wearing a dress she previously would not wear. RED FLAG
3. Being secretive with her phone. RED FLAG
4. Together 15 years, she knows you. You have been discussing hotwife off and on for many years. She KNOWS you would not be jealous. Why the question about you getting jealous? It was her backhanded way of asking permission to cheat or open marriage. RED FLAG
5. Discouraging you to attend a company party that spouses are invited to. RED FLAG
6. YOU started this post about a year ago. ALL these changes you describe started around the time that a new co-worker started A YEAR AGO. <<<<<<<RED FLAG>>>>>>>
7. Something is bothering her but she just won't talk about it for a couple of days is one thing. Hiding something bothering her for WEEKS, MONTHS, A YEAR is something entirely different. <<<<<<<RED FLAG>>>>>>>
You need to take off work on one of her gym days. Borrow a buddies car that she would not know and follow her. You need to get pictures and video. If you can't do that, then you need to hire a Private Investigator to get that evidence for you. Once you have the evidence that cannot be dismissed or gaslighted away, then you can decide how to handle it for what YOU want. She is still deep in the affair fog.
It is going to take HARD INTERVENTION to shake her out of it. EVEN if it means drawing up divorce papers that you might not follow through with.
If you want to stay married then she has to attend counseling with you. If she won't do that then your marriage is over. WHO else is the new co-worker sleeping with that she doesn't know about. Is that person really practicing safe sex? She gets infected with something and brings it to you. It is gonna take you getting a burning in your dick from an STD to wake you up?!?!?
I hate being harsh like this. At this point, you need it. If the PI finds out she has been having sex with the new co-worker, then you need to stop having sex with her and go get an STD panel done.

Good Luck to you.

jadedbutcurious

[MonaLisaOverdrive]

McRex,

SMACK! WAKE UP! RED ALERT!

You are allowing your love to blind you to the cold hard truth. You have her high on a pedestal. She knows it. She is now disrespecting you in the ultimate way.
You really need to spend some time on Reddits cheating forums and read read read.
She is cheating on you. If you are ok with cheating that means you are ok with lying and mistrust.
NO marriage survives mistrust. No marriage survives cheating. Those marriages that do reconcile are still forever changed.
1. Changes in sexual behaviour with your spouse is the number one sign that something is going on. YOU said she was previously physically participatory and vocal. NOW she is not. RED FLAG Most people see a decrease in activity sometimes winding down to a complete halt.
2. Change of attire or appearance and grooming. Her now wearing a dress she previously would not wear. RED FLAG
3. Being secretive with her phone. RED FLAG
4. Together 15 years, she knows you. You have been discussing hotwife off and on for many years. She KNOWS you would not be jealous. Why the question about you getting jealous? It was her backhanded way of asking permission to cheat or open marriage. RED FLAG
5. Discouraging you to attend a company party that spouses are invited to. RED FLAG
6. YOU started this post about a year ago. ALL these changes you describe started around the time that a new co-worker started A YEAR AGO. <<<<<<<RED FLAG>>>>>>>
7. Something is bothering her but she just won't talk about it for a couple of days is one thing. Hiding something bothering her for WEEKS, MONTHS, A YEAR is something entirely different. <<<<<<<RED FLAG>>>>>>>
You need to take off work on one of her gym days. Borrow a buddies car that she would not know and follow her. You need to get pictures and video. If you can't do that, then you need to hire a Private Investigator to get that evidence for you. Once you have the evidence that cannot be dismissed or gaslighted away, then you can decide how to handle it for what YOU want. She is still deep in the affair fog.
It is going to take HARD INTERVENTION to shake her out of it. EVEN if it means drawing up divorce papers that you might not follow through with.
If you want to stay married then she has to attend counseling with you. If she won't do that then your marriage is over. WHO else is the new co-worker sleeping with that she doesn't know about. Is that person really practicing safe sex? She gets infected with something and brings it to you. It is gonna take you getting a burning in your dick from an STD to wake you up?!?!?
I hate being harsh like this. At this point, you need it. If the PI finds out she has been having sex with the new co-worker, then you need to stop having sex with her and go get an STD panel done.

Good Luck to you.

jadedbutcurious

Damn, it seems that Reddit r/survivinginfidelity is leaking.

I think that your post, while well intentioned, is probably not helpful to our OP. A lot of the actions you're encouraging him to take are way too aggressive and could be solved through communication. Also, "No marriage survives cheating" is just plain wrong. Plenty of people on this forum have been cheated on a repaired their marriages, even coming out stronger than before.

Getting divorce papers drawn up? Hiring a PI? Really? If there was anything that was going to blow this marriage up, those would be two reason right there.

Trust that OP knows his wife and relationship a lot better than you do from the few details he has kindly shared with us. But I think you should take a chill pill and not just regurgitate uphelpful blanket suggestions from Reddit of all places.

[Pufferfish]

If you're happy with how things are going, then good.
But... having sex once a month with her husband, with no passion and with her eyes closed, while at the same time having a high sex drive in regards to masturbation, in particular after spending time with co-workers, doesn't exactly scream "no problem here."

It seems more like she's trying to separate her sex/fun/passion and her marriage into 2 separate categories. Which is pretty much the exact opposite of a hotwife scenario.

[Pufferfish]

As I stated, as long as you and her are happy with the situation, that is all that matters.

But it seems like the less she has to tolerate or endure with you, the happier she is. Which doesn't exactly sound like a healthy situation to me. But if it's what makes you all happy, then by all means enjoy. There are a lot of couples out there that enjoy denial and withholding and humiliation and stuff like that so this is by no means kink shaming.

[FNQLivin]

We know not a lot about you or her and we're only seeing your side, but what I see is concerning. Her not allowing you to see her naked, rebuffing your physical touch and the lack of kissing would be a real worry. Her words of endearment sound like deflection. The need to go to BC can be because of managing her cycle or she is having sex with someone else and does not want to risk a pregnancy.

[churry]

Any updates so far?

[rascalnvixen]

I haven't been following as much as I should due to my work loads are nuts!! Have you and she discussed the possibility of sharing her or her taking a lover???? If you have not, what would you feel if she had sex with someone at her business trip for four days??? From your posts, it sounds like that is a real possibility. I apologize if this is ground that has been addressed previously.

Rascal

[aztd]

Following

[false-abroad]

Have you asked her why can't you touch her or see her naked? You are her beloved husband after all.

[Tryagain]

I am sorry but I find her behavior bizarre and inappropriate. Not just about sex but everything else. It may be time to seek joint counseling to see if you can find out something about her true thoughts and feelings. She could be subject to some sort of breakdown. Do not let your sexual desires close your eyes to potential problems.

[william70]

Whether McRex knows it or not, he's already a cuck. He's enjoying the experience and Julia knows it. The way I see it, she is so far ahead of him in this lifestyle it isn't funny. I also believe that Julia is desperately afraid to hurt him with the truth. He wants her to cheat but because they can't communicate honestly, this is what happens. It's hilarious. Like the blind leading the blind. IMHO

[Pufferfish]

It's hilarious.

I don't see anything hilarious about it at all. There are a lot of guys in the cuckold lifestyle that give in too much to their fetish and dream of extreme scenarios where their marriage goes horribly wrong, where the wife will end up even leaving him for someone else, or completely cutting them off from everything. And I find that kind of self destruction to be quite sad. It sounds like something similar has been happening and despite several warnings OP seems oblivious to it or denies anything of the sort could possibly happen, or even wants it to happen that way. It's very unfortunate. But you can't help someone that won't help themselves. So hopefully if this all is what they want, I guess good luck with that.

[Cuckcuckgoose1]

Oh man I would be so tempted to open that suitcase.....

[Jakel]

Have a look and let us know

[FNQLivin]

So she left saying she was worried, but didn’t let on? That’s a hell of a cliff hanger to go away with.

[elina]

Dear McRex

I went back to the start of this thread and also you separate thread in the hotties in attempt to get some perspective on this.

First I would like to express that I understand your feelings and desires to be cuckolded by your Wife.
I also agree with your statements in one of the earlier posts about the need to respect Women and allow them space, without the husband making demands to know what is going on and to assume control.

I also understand that yourBeautiful Sexy Wife Julia knows that you desire to be a submissive cuckold and therefore no longer finds you sexually attractive, hence She does not allow you to see Her nude and limits Her sexual interaction with you. The fact that She also expresses Her love for you to me seems to indicate that She does want at stable supporting relationship at home.

Now, Julia surrounded by Alfa males at work, starting to exercise with them, going on birth-control, starting to shave Her pussy, etc all indicates She has, or is in the process of taking a lover. A four day business trip in the car with a male colleague, starting on a Thursday so extending through the weekend, with your Wife instructing you not to call or bother Her with messages; well...

But then, when I read your posts from the beginning here, I think this is what you want?

So, do as She is telling you. Also go out of your way to take care of all domestic chores you can think off, make sure the house is spotless when She arrives home. And when She does, greet Her in a submissive way and tell Her how much you love Her and hope that She had a good trip. Ask Her if She is tired and if there is anything you can do for Her. In some sense reassuring Her that whatever She did, you still love Her and is looking to be there for Her....

Just my thoughts, does it make sense to you?

Sincerely
elina

[FNQLivin]

I’m really confused.

In various posts since 2018 you’ve written about your wife’s activities.

viewtopic.php?f=5&t=8648&p=956196#p956196

viewtopic.php?f=5&t=36455&p=956195#p956195

viewtopic.php?f=5&t=21898&p=956188#p956188

viewtopic.php?f=5&t=35797&p=936140#p936140


All of these posts imply your wife has previously played with other men, that some people know about it and in one post that you nearly lost her as a result. But here you are saying she thinks you’re a pervert for suggesting it, that she’s never played.

To be clear, I am not saying your story isn’t truthful , I’m just genuinely confused.

[FNQLivin]

And two more that could not be added.

viewtopic.php?f=5&t=52846&p=956197#p956197

viewtopic.php?f=6&t=58622&p=1176396#p1176396

[edgedndenied]

I am also confused. Those posts put a different spin on this thread

[I_Adore_My_Wife]

She doesn’t want you touching her because she has given her heart to someone else. She loves you, but is not in love with you.

Your marriage has crashed. She knows that. You don’t.

The obvious question for you to ask yourself is, “Why is she staying with me?” Be honest with yourself and go from there.

[FNQLivin]

She doesn’t want you touching her because she has given her heart to someone else. She loves you, but is not in love with you.

Your marriage has crashed. She knows that. You don’t.

The obvious question for you to ask yourself is, “Why is she staying with me?” Be honest with yourself and go from there.

How on earth can you say that? There can be multiple reasons for this and they are not all tied to a marriage breakdown.

[elina]

In the morning she wrote that she didn’t have enough breakfast today because she felt a little nauseous because of her nerves, she said that she was too worried, and that’s why the nausea arose. But otherwise she's fine, she sent a few photos, nothing special.

Dear McRex

Do you know what makes Her nervous?
(I don't wan't to speculate and if you don't know, obviously only your Wife knows).

Sincerely
elina