Need your advice how to bring it up

[Wanttobeil]

Need your advice how to bring it up with a conservative wife. In gentle words so she get the idea and start thinking about it. And if you have pictures or ideas for jewelry that can be used like anklet to ahow the lifestyle.

[ucaneffher]

Tell her you had a dream where she was seeing another man but instead of getting upset, you were supportive of her.

Or something along those lines... Use proper judgement and don't exaggerated on the details unless historically you have always provided great amount of detail with all of your dreams.

[Pufferfish]

The "I had a dream" excuse bullshit is always nonsense, whether it's you or her describing it, but it's a fair way to bring up the topic relatively safely. It's irrational to get mad at someone because of something they dreamed because that person can't control what they dreamed about, But it's also lying. It's a white lie, so it's not a deal breaker, but for total transparency and acceptance just quit being a coward and sit her down and have a conversation. About your relationship, sex life, wanting to try to bring some excitement to it, and just tell her about your fantasy without expectation. It's really not as bad as we all feared it would be, and you'll feel more ridiculous the longer you put off talking to her about it because you're scared.

If you two can't talk, you two don't trust. So work on your trust until you can talk.

[Spencer1]

I’ve come right out told her I’d like to do MFM. Hasn’t led to anything but started the discussion. She told me that it wouldn’t be something that I wanted to do. lol. Umm I suggested it. I was happy It wasn’t a heck no that I’m crazy response. So I have a little hope.

[bbarnsworth]

I agree that lying about it saying you had a dream is a cowardly way to do this, and flat wrong. Having a marriage that is strong enough to support being non-monogamous pretty much requires a very, very high level of communication and trust. You don't move your relationship towards that by starting out with a bald-faced lie. Sorry ucaneffher, I don't mean to be harsh, but this is reality.

Wanttobeil, how you approach this with your wife is best determined by you. In general, I agree with Pufferfish. Start having conversations about your sex lives. Consider different things, find her comfort zones, find her edges, suggest things on the edge. Toys? Porn? Light bondage? Light pain? Lingerie? Work on your conversation skills; don't even state anything or make sounds/body language that speaks to you thinking what she says is funny. People can get protective in revealing what's buried deep inside. Take your time. There's no deadline here. DEVELOP your communication with her.