Not a Cuckold, but Thought I'd Share My Situation

[DoctorLuv]

When a parent has a child with poor self esteem, it’s difficult for the parent to boost their child’s self esteem and overcome the negativity their child is receiving from their peers or their life situation. If the parent tells their child how wonderful they are, typically the child will say, “You’re only saying that because you’re my dad or mom.” Even if the child doesn’t explicitly say that to their parent, typically that’s what the child thinks….that their parent’s love for them blinds them to their child’s self perceived profound inadequacies. Thus, a parent’s ability to boost their child’s self esteem diminishes as their children mature. The sad reality is that as children mature, outside influences are necessary to generate a child’s good self-esteem.

I think your wife may be suffering from extremely poor self esteem and your ability to bolster her poor self esteem is limited despite the love you 2 have for each other. In some ways your wife’s responses to your attempts at building her self esteem are limited similar to a parent’s ability to boost their children’s self esteem. When, to combat the negativity she’s feeling from F’s rejection, you tell your wife how wonderful she is, whether she says it or not, I suspect she thinks that you are only telling her how wonderful she is because you love her so much.

Of course, this is only my perception from the limited information I know from your postings about you and your relationship with your wife. I present my opinion not as a therapist, but more as a close friend would counsel another close friend.

I really think your wife needs a boost to her self-esteem right now. It would be pathologic for her to continue seeking this boost from F. As I’ve said before, she’s acting like an immature schoolgirl would act if a selfish, arrogant ex-boyfriend rejected her.

On her upcoming business trip if she did have a tryst with a lover, that very well might boost her self-esteem such as to release her from the negativity she’s currently feeling from F’s rejection.

From your recent post, I suspect that’s what you were hoping. However, if that doesn’t occur, I think you should explore other options with her. I know your wife has had counseling in the past with only limited benefit. Nevertheless, if her self destructive obsession with F persists, I think that she might benefit from counseling to help with her current poor self esteem.

[drstrangelove]

Apologies for the slow down, but nothing eventful has happened. She texted F a few weeks ago like I noted and he never responded.

In a moment cuddled last night she let go, hesitantly, that she now regrets resuming her relationship with him (Dec-Feb). And she really feels stupid for texting him again a few weeks ago.

Ultimately, I think this is a good thing. I now sense that she’s done with him. My plan now is to just chill—perhaps work in more fantasy talk/texting again, but not push anything more. We’ll see how it goes.

[DoctorLuv]

I think your wife is showing good insight. No doubt your support has been very helpful to allow her to gain that insight. Hopefully she’ll improve her self esteem over the ensuing weeks and months.

[Bomerang43]

I hope she gain her self confidence again.

[sandy691196]

drstrangelove..

It was my day's priority visiting your thread.. like a glutton.. am in office right now and caught up till the last post.. neglecting work!

Not only was your story exciting but as a writer you are awesome. You are also an intelligent man. Very very astute and poised.

Can I just put certain ideas on the board so that they play in your pre-conscious? After the affair blew up and you worked through the whole drama, it as touch and go for a while. Then even when you too got back to a good place, you wielded considerable power in the relationship for a while. She trying to re-establish herself as a good wife. At that moment was it possible to guide her thoughts.. nudge her along a more healthy path to cuckolding?
You have said again and again that she would only have done it with F and no one else. That was due to a narrative playing in her mind:
- Familiarity
- Safety.
- Assured good sex.
- Convenience.
- At that point, while appearing to be supportive of her decision, could you have done some "loud thinking" to introduce certain thought-lines to her (without trying to sell the ideas)? Viz., The baggage was huge for all concerned. Particularly your deep seated hurt and insecurity about their affair couldn't be trusted not to get triggered, through no fault of hers.
- Whereas, if it was a different guy you would start with a clean slate without any baggage. Negative triggers 'come in the way. You are likely to be cutting much more slack with a new guy. That ultimately would benefit her sexual experience because she wouldn't constantly have to look over back (so to say) and be scared about walking on egg shells?
- The ease of picking up guys in bars and pick up lounges. The exciting mind games involved and the huge validation for her in the process?
- Do you think that the spectre of you getting justifiably triggered, through no fault of hers at all, would have made her think hard about the advisability of F as a prospect? After all she is a girl who likes to keep things light and superficial. The added stress of worrying about your baggage, could have been a factor in making her decide to pursue other options?

You are an intelligent and immensely sensible man bro. I am certain you went for the optimum outcome under the circumstances presented to you in the moment. I wanted to reach the end of the thread before pitching in. F was a disaster potentially. I think you guys got off likely. Because of your astuteness, maturity and she trying to make a genuine effort towards keeping it going in your relationship. But you do realise that at some point she will be tired of being on the backfoot and tired of apologising. Like you keep saying - she is what she is.

There are certain other points that emerge-
* She denied you good sex early in the relationship due to other resentments. So you feel into this cuckold fetish, trying to eroticize the pain and rejection. But unfortunately she saw it as wimpish behaviour! Imagine! A good looking husband with a big dick, sensitive, loving and caring. She saw you as a wimp, lost regard for you as a man and went looking for thrilling dynamics / sex! How sad that is at one level.

Even during this cucking with F phase, she said explicitly that she doesn't want you to be "him" and wants you caring and romantic. Then she complains that you ain't enough in bed and don't compare. Then when you try stronger aggressive stuff, she blows up and complains that she feels like a sex object for you!

Is it possible to discuss this in a relaxed, loving, non-complaining, non-accusatory form? Can this make her see things differently?

Thanks for the lovely thread. Wish you two all the best.

[drstrangelove]

Update:

My wife attended a school event last week and on her way in found herself holding the door for both F and his ex wife (R). My wife obviously felt embarrassed.

The next day my wife noticed that F had blocked her on various social media platforms—in response, she did the same and deleted all their communications. She’s been heated over all of it, including the fact that I told her it was over when he asked for a pause back in April and she thought I was wrong—she hates the idea that I was right.

We’ve discussed it on and off, but I’m very analytical about it and she’s a ball of emotion, so it’s best I not test those waters too much.

She’s in the anger phase: calling him names, citing his small dick, etc. She also wanted to go off BC because her taking it is a reminder of him (he was the reason she started taking it). I cautioned her to wait a few more weeks and let things settle—if nothing else, I’ve been enjoying sex with her on it lol. (And on that note, we have been having some really good sex the last couple of weeks.)

So that leads to what comes next. I’ve been clear she still has an open hall pass, but she’s too burned right now to see it as enticing. I do think there’s a clear path to that changing drastically if she had the right opportunity—I have no doubt a part of her would love to jump into bed with someone else to get over F; someone better looking with a bigger dick. She won’t outwardly admit that because to her it would frame her as a slut and activate her shame.

I dislike relying on hope or chance here, but I don’t want to overplay my hand and make her feel like she’s an object for my sexual fantasies—I’ve been focused on comforting her and showing love for her instead.

She has a work trip coming up to CA next week for four nights and then a girls night planned at a night club in a few weeks—my plan before then is to give her a little nudge somehow. Unfortunately, her period is also coming any day now and her emotions can be all over the place then, so it has to be almost surgical on my end to avoid a blow up.

Best case scenario is someone hits on her in the near future—it doesn’t even have to go further than that—she just needs to get that familiar feeling of external validation again.

[drstrangelove]

drstrangelove..

It was my day's priority visiting your thread.. like a glutton.. am in office right now and caught up till the last post.. neglecting work!

Not only was your story exciting but as a writer you are awesome. You are also an intelligent man. Very very astute and poised.

Can I just put certain ideas on the board so that they play in your pre-conscious? After the affair blew up and you worked through the whole drama, it as touch and go for a while. Then even when you too got back to a good place, you wielded considerable power in the relationship for a while. She trying to re-establish herself as a good wife. At that moment was it possible to guide her thoughts.. nudge her along a more healthy path to cuckolding?
You have said again and again that she would only have done it with F and no one else. That was due to a narrative playing in her mind:
- Familiarity
- Safety.
- Assured good sex.
- Convenience.
- At that point, while appearing to be supportive of her decision, could you have done some "loud thinking" to introduce certain thought-lines to her (without trying to sell the ideas)? Viz., The baggage was huge for all concerned. Particularly your deep seated hurt and insecurity about their affair couldn't be trusted not to get triggered, through no fault of hers.
- Whereas, if it was a different guy you would start with a clean slate without any baggage. Negative triggers 'come in the way. You are likely to be cutting much more slack with a new guy. That ultimately would benefit her sexual experience because she wouldn't constantly have to look over back (so to say) and be scared about walking on egg shells?
- The ease of picking up guys in bars and pick up lounges. The exciting mind games involved and the huge validation for her in the process?
- Do you think that the spectre of you getting justifiably triggered, through no fault of hers at all, would have made her think hard about the advisability of F as a prospect? After all she is a girl who likes to keep things light and superficial. The added stress of worrying about your baggage, could have been a factor in making her decide to pursue other options?

You are an intelligent and immensely sensible man bro. I am certain you went for the optimum outcome under the circumstances presented to you in the moment. I wanted to reach the end of the thread before pitching in. F was a disaster potentially. I think you guys got off likely. Because of your astuteness, maturity and she trying to make a genuine effort towards keeping it going in your relationship. But you do realise that at some point she will be tired of being on the backfoot and tired of apologising. Like you keep saying - she is what she is.

There are certain other points that emerge-
* She denied you good sex early in the relationship due to other resentments. So you feel into this cuckold fetish, trying to eroticize the pain and rejection. But unfortunately she saw it as wimpish behaviour! Imagine! A good looking husband with a big dick, sensitive, loving and caring. She saw you as a wimp, lost regard for you as a man and went looking for thrilling dynamics / sex! How sad that is at one level.

Even during this cucking with F phase, she said explicitly that she doesn't want you to be "him" and wants you caring and romantic. Then she complains that you ain't enough in bed and don't compare. Then when you try stronger aggressive stuff, she blows up and complains that she feels like a sex object for you!

Is it possible to discuss this in a relaxed, loving, non-complaining, non-accusatory form? Can this make her see things differently?

Thanks for the lovely thread. Wish you two all the best.

Sandy, thank you for the thoughtful comments! I appreciate your kind words, but by no means have I handled things perfectly along the way—it’s been a highway of mistakes from day 1 because no amount of intelligence can make up for me failing to empathize with her at certain moments when I needed to.

Ultimately, to her she feels like it’s the end of the world, but I have perspective right now that she doesn’t. I think F ending was the best thing that could have happened and I have no doubt we’ll navigate our way back to a new cuckold dynamic in the future—it’s just a matter of when.

[sandy691196]

To be honest, I was waiting for F to end! It was such a relief! If F didn't end, one of these days, their liaison would have ended you two!

There was too much baggage. You can't keep on blaming yourself. You did admirably well under the circumstances. You are not a software package for the love of Mike!

Her nature being what it is and with her background with F, this would have been gnawing at your vitals and blown up bad sometime.

Your GuardIan Angel bailed you two out.

Have fun bro.

[scarfolamew]

I gotta say, of all the dickheads we've heard about on the various accounts on this site, none have filled me with more contempt than F Minus.

It's gotta be extra humiliating to have been burned by a small-dicked worm like that. I wish your wife luck getting over it. Fuck him.

[drstrangelove]

I gotta say, of all the dickheads we've heard about on the various accounts on this site, none have filled me with more contempt than F Minus.

It's gotta be extra humiliating to have been burned by a small-dicked worm like that. I wish your wife luck getting over it. Fuck him.

People are who they are. He was the same selfish asshole during the affair—my wife was fun sex on the side and at no point did he ever let her into his life.

At the same time, I don’t view him as malicious. My best guess is that he’s focused on his kids and he’s trying to co-parent as best he can—and I’d imagine his ex-wife seeing him connected with his AP was causing him lots of strife in that dynamic. Add onto the fact that he likely has no idea if I’m still in touch with R at all, so he has all kinds of risks in continuing the relationship with my wife.

So a better person would have called my wife and ended things properly, but he was never that person. He’s a weak, very flawed man—and at some point the risk-reward analysis was always going to lead here. He did almost all the things he wanted with her sexually, so he calculated that it wasn’t worth the risk for diminishing returns anymore.

[drstrangelove]

So the work trip came and went and she’s out at the girs night now. We just texted and she’s coming home soon—no interactions; she said the club is filled with 24 year olds looking at their phones. On the trip, there were a few possible attempts by guys, but nothing she could (or wanted) to act on.

Ultimately I still get the sense she is open to it, but looking for the right situation. What I can say definitely is she looked smoking hot tonight going out—she’s down below 120 pounds, skin tight dress, perfect makeup and hair: smoke show.

I think my best bet is hoping for her to attempt some kind of app—even if it’s just for us to mess around with. I haven’t gotten any pushback from her on the hall pass discussion other than her saying she needs to build back up to it.

[Rogueuser1]

Well at least she is going out! I worry a bit about the current generation spending so much time on their phones they don't even try to get laid but that is just the old man "get off my lawn" in me .
Hopefully you enjoyed the smoke show and at least got to go down on her when she got home!

[drstrangelove]

Well at least she is going out! I worry a bit about the current generation spending so much time on their phones they don't even try to get laid but that is just the old man "get off my lawn" in me .
Hopefully you enjoyed the smoke show and at least got to go down on her when she got home!

She just wanted sex. I came in less than 30 seconds. In my defense, she looked absurdly good and I hadn’t cum in a few days.

She did tell me that she flirted with the waiter and got herself a free glass of wine. It shocked her friend, who saw her flirt and touch his chest, but my wife played it off. I didn’t get the sense that she actually had hopes with the waiter, more just her getting back out there and flirting again. She likes that I’m ok with it. Overall, I looked at it as a really good step and now they have plans to do these girls nights more often.

[Bomerang43]

Great baby step! Enjoy!

[drstrangelove]

It’s been awhile, so I thought I’d give an update. Nothing fun sadly.

We had a great family trip to the shore over the 4th, but when we came back, my wife went into a fairly bad headspace and has been there for two weeks now. She hasn’t been able to reset really, so we are going back to couple’s therapy tomorrow for first time in several months.

There have been lots of small issues, but one I’ll report here is that my daughter has befriended F’s and R’s daughter at our town camp (they’re both 5-6). It’s led to some high emotions from my wife.

Obviously at town events R does not want to hang out with my wife, so she has been lightly keeping distance and told her daughter that she wasn’t friends with my daughter’s mom—that got back to my daughter and to us and drama unfolded when my daughter accused me and my wife of being mean to her friend’s mom lol.

Anyways, my wife and I discussed and we agreed she wouldn’t connect with F and I’d go through R to ensure we could lower the temperature.

My wife changed her mind a few hours later and reached out to F—let’s say he was less than helpful. He responded by saying: of course my ex wife didn’t want to go on playdates with her and that he didn’t care about any of it.

I then worked it out with R and all is now well for the kids. I’m only sharing that here as it was another point of contact with F and may be relevant later on depending on where this goes.

On the sex side, we haven’t had sex in two weeks—and virtually no intimacy. So things aren’t very fun right now.

[Guhunkadorn]

Well their marriage was probably going to end anyway but R's feelings are understandable. Too bad the history caught up with the children but sounds like you've handled it.

Good luck at therapy.

[ResponsibullCummings]

It could be that she reached out to F partly in hopes that it would reopen communication with him and he would ask her to come over so he could fuck her. I am sure he knows she would still do it at the drop of a hat and at some point he might do it just to feed his ego down the road. The problem is that she absolutely would run back to him if he asked and that not good for her mental health. Unfortunately it doesn't seem like you are in a position to give her what she was getting out of her fling with him. Hopefully therapy can help you work through that and rebuild her self esteem.

[mf2hd82]

I see playdates in the future for your wife and F and the kids. How convenient!

[Bomerang43]

If he asks her to come again looks like she will do whatever he wants

[Rogueuser1]

Yikes - that sucks that he is so easily able to get in her head but it sadly makes sense given her personality quirks. At least you seem to be weathering the storm well. I hope that you are also keeping lines of communication with her because I agree with Bomerang43 - if he whistles she will come running and she will let him fuck her. I hope you are prepared/ok for that as long as she admits it and tells you about it and doesn't go behind your back.
If anything that is what you should emphasize with her: don't hide it, don't do it behind my back - just tell me about it, even afterwards, and that is ok.

Regardless - good luck with the counselor! I hope it goes well.

[Robinpost1]

Curious to hear what couples therapy topics are being discussed.

How was the subject brought up? Was it a mutual decision? Was it after a specific fight? Is it with a specific goal in mind?

Are your sessions focused more on your intimacy or communication issues? Is there any talk of divorce or are these sessions just to help you and your wife feel happier?

Curious in the direction as it relates to your sexual journey. It felt as though you got a taste of fire and the life but at first it was via painful cheating and when it was permitted you really didn’t get to enjoy it for very long.

Pulling for the best outcome as you are an outstanding write and really enjoyed watching this journey unfold over the last few years. Good luck to you!

[drstrangelove]

Curious to hear what couples therapy topics are being discussed.

How was the subject brought up? Was it a mutual decision? Was it after a specific fight? Is it with a specific goal in mind?

Are your sessions focused more on your intimacy or communication issues? Is there any talk of divorce or are these sessions just to help you and your wife feel happier?

Curious in the direction as it relates to your sexual journey. It felt as though you got a taste of fire and the life but at first it was via painful cheating and when it was permitted you really didn’t get to enjoy it for very long.

Pulling for the best outcome as you are an outstanding write and really enjoyed watching this journey unfold over the last few years. Good luck to you!

Apologies for the lack of updates, but overall it just wasn’t a good few weeks. Couples therapy was all about our communication and the pitfalls of her anger and how she responds. As I’ve discussed, the anger is a result of her stress and anxieties, which were multifaceted this month and included the R drama.

I got her to indulge my kink once with a fantasy sexting session (she made up a cuckold situation), but it really didn’t do anything for me—I really need certain boxes checked for the mental aspect and if she is driving the scenario, it’s very tame and respectful lol.

As for the lifestyle, she is still very much open to it, but we are just stuck at a point where she doesn’t want to take any obvious next steps. My best appraisal is the F stuff hurt her ego a bit and she lost some confidence. She just got Botox yesterday and from my perspective it was 100% a confidence booster.

I think I’m still at the first step following F: we need to reset. And it’s just taking her some time. Kids are gone again with grandparents next week and she has another girl’s night planned, so it’s another opportunity for her to flirt and build confidence.

I think this could all flop on a dime—she sparks something with a guy while out or she feels really good about herself and agrees to Tinder, etc. I feel like we are right there, I just need to let her do it on her own.

[drstrangelove]

Update:

So no change between my wife and I, but I stumbled onto a text conversation this weekend she had with her friend that I suspect you all will be interested in.

As I may have mentioned, my wife has made a friend group post-affair—a group of similar age moms who have children the same age as mine. One of the mom’s, S, has become my wife’s closest friend over the last two years. She’s really light-hearted and fun—she has lots of ear piercings that led my wife to get more—and she’s also very open about her sex life with her husband. So my wife will remark to me that on girl’s nights, S will talk about her sex life and most girls get shy, so only my wife will chime in.

My wife hasn’t revealed to anyone about the affair yet—though I think that’s a possibility down the line.

So this text exchange was my first insight into their conversation—both of them go to our local pool with the kids often, so they began a discussion on hot guys/lifeguards they see. They each talked about favorites; my wife commented that S’s favorite didn’t have tattoos, so he wasn’t on her radar, but my wife’s favorite was a 30 year-old South American guy with tattoos and a great ass.

She mentioned trying to chat him up, but got the sense he was more interested in younger girls.

The whole conversation was very open and sexual and I got the sense that it would have been very easy for it to get more personal—a scenario where my wife shared she has a hall pass and S becomes the encouraging friend was very real. It almost felt inevitable reading the convo—I could tell my wife wanted to go there but decided to play it safe, but if they were sharing a few drinks, it’d be a done deal.

So I think this is the most likely path right now. I’m going to lightly encourage her to be upfront with her and just wait for the other shoe to drop. S is the type of girl who would be down to screen guys on Tinder for my wife lol—and she’s way more sexually adventurous than my wife; she just casually texts about how good her BJs are to her husband lol. I could absolutely see a scenario where she’d want to give her husband a threesome and invite my wife to join them if she knew about her hall pass. Stuff like that.

We’ll see how it goes, but I’m excited to pursue this angle.

[mf2hd82]

Update:

So no change between my wife and I, but I stumbled onto a text conversation this weekend she had with her friend that I suspect you all will be interested in.

As I may have mentioned, my wife has made a friend group post-affair—a group of similar age moms who have children the same age as mine. One of the mom’s, S, has become my wife’s closest friend over the last two years. She’s really light-hearted and fun—she has lots of ear piercings that led my wife to get more—and she’s also very open about her sex life with her husband. So my wife will remark to me that on girl’s nights, S will talk about her sex life and most girls get shy, so only my wife will chime in.

My wife hasn’t revealed to anyone about the affair yet—though I think that’s a possibility down the line.

So this text exchange was my first insight into their conversation—both of them go to our local pool with the kids often, so they began a discussion on hot guys/lifeguards they see. They each talked about favorites; my wife commented that S’s favorite didn’t have tattoos, so he wasn’t on her radar, but my wife’s favorite was a 30 year-old South American guy with tattoos and a great ass.

She mentioned trying to chat him up, but got the sense he was more interested in younger girls.

The whole conversation was very open and sexual and I got the sense that it would have been very easy for it to get more personal—a scenario where my wife shared she has a hall pass and S becomes the encouraging friend was very real. It almost felt inevitable reading the convo—I could tell my wife wanted to go there but decided to play it safe, but if they were sharing a few drinks, it’d be a done deal.

So I think this is the most likely path right now. I’m going to lightly encourage her to be upfront with her and just wait for the other shoe to drop. S is the type of girl who would be down to screen guys on Tinder for my wife lol—and she’s way more sexually adventurous than my wife; she just casually texts about how good her BJs are to her husband lol. I could absolutely see a scenario where she’d want to give her husband a threesome and invite my wife to join them if she knew about her hall pass. Stuff like that.

We’ll see how it goes, but I’m excited to pursue this angle.

That's interesting to me about the piercings since that's a fetish of mine. How many new piercings has she gotten due to this new friend? Do you like them? Has she considered getting a nose ring?

Also about the tattoos. Do you have any? Sounds like she finds them attractive? Did F?

[drstrangelove]

Update:

So no change between my wife and I, but I stumbled onto a text conversation this weekend she had with her friend that I suspect you all will be interested in.

As I may have mentioned, my wife has made a friend group post-affair—a group of similar age moms who have children the same age as mine. One of the mom’s, S, has become my wife’s closest friend over the last two years. She’s really light-hearted and fun—she has lots of ear piercings that led my wife to get more—and she’s also very open about her sex life with her husband. So my wife will remark to me that on girl’s nights, S will talk about her sex life and most girls get shy, so only my wife will chime in.

My wife hasn’t revealed to anyone about the affair yet—though I think that’s a possibility down the line.

So this text exchange was my first insight into their conversation—both of them go to our local pool with the kids often, so they began a discussion on hot guys/lifeguards they see. They each talked about favorites; my wife commented that S’s favorite didn’t have tattoos, so he wasn’t on her radar, but my wife’s favorite was a 30 year-old South American guy with tattoos and a great ass.

She mentioned trying to chat him up, but got the sense he was more interested in younger girls.

The whole conversation was very open and sexual and I got the sense that it would have been very easy for it to get more personal—a scenario where my wife shared she has a hall pass and S becomes the encouraging friend was very real. It almost felt inevitable reading the convo—I could tell my wife wanted to go there but decided to play it safe, but if they were sharing a few drinks, it’d be a done deal.

So I think this is the most likely path right now. I’m going to lightly encourage her to be upfront with her and just wait for the other shoe to drop. S is the type of girl who would be down to screen guys on Tinder for my wife lol—and she’s way more sexually adventurous than my wife; she just casually texts about how good her BJs are to her husband lol. I could absolutely see a scenario where she’d want to give her husband a threesome and invite my wife to join them if she knew about her hall pass. Stuff like that.

We’ll see how it goes, but I’m excited to pursue this angle.

That's interesting to me about the piercings since that's a fetish of mine. How many new piercings has she gotten due to this new friend? Do you like them? Has she considered getting a nose ring?

Also about the tattoos. Do you have any? Sounds like she finds them attractive? Did F?

Just an additional one in each ear. She wants to add more, but was told she can’t do them all at once. S has several in each ear, going all the way up. I really don’t have a view on it, but my wife is into it. She hasn’t mentioned wanting any other piercings or tattoos; she used to have a belly ring, which was hot, but doctor made her remove it when we had our first kid and she never put it back.

As for tattoos on guys, she loves them—it’s definitely her biggest turn on. She likes the bad boy look 100%. A hot, jacked, younger, tattooed guy is her sexual fantasy—and it’s the obvious scenario where she wants to be married to the clean cut guy (me), but taken and fucked by the bad boy.

F has a lot of tattoos, but he didn’t check any other boxes—he’s not jacked and doesn’t have a big cock, but the tattoos were enough for her with him. He was a few years younger and she liked that too. If she does find a new guy, I’d think him being younger is probably her biggest want; tattoos second.