Boner help I don't want to ONLT get boners for cuck stuff

[mfm4bnc]

I love all things cuckolding, but I don't want it to supplant my regular sex life. My wife indulges me a lot, and I like to indulge her with some loving-just between us sex also.

Lately, I have been struggling to get a boner unless we talk about very specific cuckold scenarios. I have tried taking time off from this site, taking time off from masturbating, etc, but even with those, I sometimes struggle.

Anyone have any ideas on how to maximize my boners? I love my wife and find her very sexy... I don't understand why this is difficult! (and yes, I have tried viagra) (and I get boners easily if we talk about specific scenarios)

[sana9889]

Are you into this type of porn?
It cam rewire you.

[CUCKCOUPLENY]

I have the same issue and I have been struggling with it for years. Let me know how you make out.

[Cuck4Life]

Many years ago in my late teens I was a regular reader of Penthouse Variations and Forum. I developed a particular interest in stories that involved wife watching and this quickly became my obsession. My first wife was known to easy and had been with many of my friends and coworkers. In stead of being bothered it was a big turn on and I enjoyed always being around guys she had screwed. During these years I began to jack off thinking about her having sex with others and I became obsessed with these thoughts.

This happened over 50 years ago and I continue to have this interest. I remarried and there is no doubt in my mind that this obsession has had a negative effect on my sexual relationship with my wife today. I always enjoyed having these thoughts but I wish I could had
taken control of these thoughts and not made them the focus of my sexual interest. I have never been interested in having sex with other women.

I am fortunate that my wife and I now have a half open relationship where she is able to enjoy other men with my blessings.

[iloanmywife]

I love all things cuckolding, but I don't want it to supplant my regular sex life. My wife indulges me a lot, and I like to indulge her with some loving-just between us sex also.

Lately, I have been struggling to get a boner unless we talk about very specific cuckold scenarios. I have tried taking time off from this site, taking time off from masturbating, etc, but even with those, I sometimes struggle.

Anyone have any ideas on how to maximize my boners? I love my wife and find her very sexy... I don't understand why this is difficult! (and yes, I have tried viagra) (and I get boners easily if we talk about specific scenarios)

Does your wife enjoy the fantasy talk when she indulges you? Or is she just humoring you? If cuckold fantasy gets her off, why stop? You don't have to talk about it nonstop during sex to enjoy it. Before we started playing, sometimes my wife and I would mutually fantasize about her having sex with one guy or another, but we didn't say another word during sex. She'd close her eyes and rock her hips and moan -- it would drive me crazy wondering what she was imagining. If she aggressively kissed me and shoved her tongue in my mouth, it turned me on like we were first dating. If she asked me to switch positions and fuck her from behind I knew it was partly so she could pretend it was someone else. This was especially fun when I was wearing my strapon dildo, something you might want to try. In fact, you should shop for the strapon dildo together. Let her pick what she wants.

Alternatively, are there things that she enjoys that you're not indulging enough? I don't know, maybe fantasizing about sex on a secluded beach at sunset or in a hot air balloon, or maybe she's into cosplay, or she wants to be spanked? Perhaps it's a specific sexual act or position that you haven't done before (e.g., a finger in her ass) or eating her out from behind. It might be as simple as more nipple play. Experiment and help her to find out what pushes her buttons and have some fun with that.

If her response is "Nothing, just rubbing our parts together until we're done" then you should help her expand her imagination, but that doesn't mean she's boring. It might mean that you've been a little boring lately, only focusing on one particular flavor of kink instead of exploring the infinite things a couple can do! Has she felt your cock in the back of a taxi? Had sex in front of the picture window of a high-rise hotel room. Would she wear a buttplug to the grocery store with you? Or have you wear one? Have you eaten her pussy while she's on the phone with a friend?

You could also try "cuckold adjacent" stuff.

For example, you say that you've tried abstaining from porn and masturbation. Instead, ask your wife to support you in supervised-only masturbation. Ask if she's be willing to try a period where you have to ask her permission to jack off. She can decide if you get to or not -- sort of chastity without the cage. And if she lets you masturbate then she gets to watch. No porn, and not one single word about cuckolding or hotwifing, just you masturbating in her presence. Borderline mechanical sex relief. You'll never feel as naked as having your pants down and jacking off while your disinterested wife folds clothes or watches a movie.

My wife developed a CBT fetish. It started with my request to her, then I found myself in a "I've created a monster" situation. Who was to know? She figured out that she could make me cum by slapping my balls. She's done this in conjunction with cuckold play, but most often ballbusting is standalone type of play that she and I do together and has nothing to do with cuckolding.

I sometimes wear panties, but that's something I do more often when we're alone than with other men, a standalone kink for ourselves. We might be getting dressed to go out to dinner and my wife will ask me (or tell me) to wear coordinating underwear. We might not even talk about cuckolding because the current situation is erotic enough and we want to focus on that. If we spent the evening walking around town in matching lace panties under our clothes -- why would we need to add anything to that when we get back to bed? It's actually hotter not to say a word about it, like it's just...expected.

Let me know what you think. Yeah, you have a cuck fetish. Welcome to the club. Instead of trying to ignore it, I think you should add MORE kinks to your sex toolbox so that you're not focused on just that one.

[SubSnuggler]

I only get releases when my Wife allows it, and that rarely means getting in her pussy. She leans into my fantasies as mine are similar to yours. She will unlock me, and make me stand in the shower naked with my hands over my head, leaned over facing the shower wall.

Gripping my limp cock, she will whisper to me that she owns me, controls me, and that means I'm permanently locked while she enjoys huge, giant, rock hard black cock- and thats about when I start to spurt. She instantly tightens her grip, physically choking off my orgasm with her hand. Back in the cage till next month.

[ChrisCuck]

What if you were to only think about it, rather than to make your wife participate in talking about it?

[wannabecUKold]

It's difficult. Once you get arousal from a form of sex, you can't switch it off by force of will.
You can try other forms of sex. So, for instance, if you are addicted to cuckold sex, maybe take yourself off to an escort. You may well find that you greatly enjoy this immoral sex, so much so that you break the grip of the cuckold sex as the only sex that arouses you. It simply wouldn't interest you as much as it currently does, and you would think instead about the hot little escort you had.

[Cdncuck]

Once you get into this it's difficult to stop. It's a very compelling desire. I started having cuckold feelings in my early teens. I eventually met a woman who's kinks fit with mine. She became my hot girlfriend two years before we were married.

We're in our 60s now and still at it. The same thing you describe happened to me. Well to both of us really. I can't get it up unless she's been fucking someone else and she can't get aroused for me. Rather than fighting it,we embraced the situation and gave up what was once our normal sex life.

We have lots of sex but that's because she has even more sex with other men. There's no penetration for me anymore. After a date I eat her pie and use toys on her. She permits me to slide my cock against the outside of her cunt until I come. It feels much like sloppy seconds because we use the cum from her cunt for lube.

This works wonderfully for us. It's not something that will appeal to everyone. If don't want embrace your situation and want to stop it might require the help of a therapist. Even that may not work.

[hubudig2]

You can't realistically expect to get equally horny from the same vanilla experiences throughout your life.
If you could, we'd all still be like teenagers getting raging hard-ons from seeing a pair of tits in a magazine.
You can manipulate your mind a bit by denying and teasing yourself but once you find something that turns you on more, it's difficult to go back.
Maybe you can find another kink that both you and your wife enjoy?

[BBCfan]

I have had many kinks over the years I get off with through porn.
Definitely my latest BBC cuck phase is overtaking most others.

For me it's always been to not ejaculate for a day or 2 if I really wanna have intense vanilla sex.

Issue I find is if my wife does indulge me with some BBC cuck talk I can orgasm too quick.
I now find myself fantasizing that she just took a BBC and he loosened her again as we have vanilla sex as it can me me harder in an instant.

She almost always orgasms so I'm doing okay.
Knowing her past with BBC and because I find her extremely sexy arouses me all the time when I'm around her so that makes things easier.

Hope you're able to find a solution that works for you.

[Dream Weaver]

I'll take and educated guess because I've been there. Assuming you aren't of an age where going soft is a little more natural (say 50ish but it can vary)... too much porn/masturbation/edging will do it. It will kill your ability to get hard. You might be able to go like this for years but when it happens.... it's like you spent all the juice, the batteries are permanently dry. You need to stop.

Obviously that's a huge assumption.... but it explains things for me. If I don't play with myself too much, I have no problem, but I have to wait a few days and not jump right back into it because I can drain that battery to zero very fast, whereas if I never went back to spanking it, I could easily get hard for real sex the next day.

[SessionsGoLong]

Have a similar conundrum as I am recently recalling the wife swapping my parents did, that usually led to my mom retaining that other husband as her long term boyfriend/bull/lover, or whatever we should call them. For some reason buried those memories since 1969 and this site along with video porn sites, find myself masturbating to cuck, bbc or hotwife stuff. Have been single for a while. When trying to get off on vanilla porn, it ain't happening. Believe I got wired to grow up to be a long term, part time boyfriend to a married woman who has permission to play but have not experienced that yet. Have been a bachelor my whole life and my recent switch to the cuck porn has me thinking that my dad was perhaps a cuck or maybe a bull. The bbc porn is just this white guy wanting to pick up tips on how to make women cum harder with my own decent sized dick.

First on this list though is to find a willing partner again. When I do find her, am concerned that at this age, will I need my recent masturbation scenario categories present that arrived along with my recovered childhood memories, to get off with her. Or, can I expect to do fine without role playing.

Did have one doctor tell me that the things that frighten us most in childhood, if left untreated, can become a source of attraction when we are adults. So perhaps am frightened by being overly sexualized beginning at age 3 when mom repeatedly had her guy over while dad was at work. May not have understood all those sex noises back then and did see them a few times naked. Maybe was afraid for my mom, probably did not know if he was hurting her; like in a bad way.

Before all of these new memories came back, used to jack off to cheating wives stuff and going out of town for work hook up stories. Sometimes like to read the stories and some times like to watch the amateur home porn. If I ever got married, may talk about eventually opening up the marriage after a while. Looking back at the women whom I have been attracted to over time, they have confessed to me to have been mono regular wives, strippers, escorts or in open relationships. Uncanny right? My mom having been in the latter.

Hope you figure it out. Maybe I am just in a phase and any sex will arouse me. Having a willing naked woman in my bed, car, her bed, hotel ... will be a perfect start. Until then, will rewire my brain to accept vanilla scenarios too.

Practice time. Good night.

[MartasBoy]

I love all things cuckolding, but I don't want it to supplant my regular sex life. My wife indulges me a lot, and I like to indulge her with some loving-just between us sex also.

Lately, I have been struggling to get a boner unless we talk about very specific cuckold scenarios. I have tried taking time off from this site, taking time off from masturbating, etc, but even with those, I sometimes struggle.

Anyone have any ideas on how to maximize my boners? I love my wife and find her very sexy... I don't understand why this is difficult! (and yes, I have tried viagra) (and I get boners easily if we talk about specific scenarios)

Some men are programmed to perform good sex with a woman. Some of us are programmed to enjoy watching those men who can do it well. You need to accept that you are programmed in your brain, to be a cuckold. You will always find your greatest pleasure from watching those men who are particularly talented at pleasing a woman.

Work to accept who you are, find good lovers for your wife, serve your wife and her lovers well, and thank these men for pleasuring your wife, and providing an exciting experience for you.

[sana9889]

Are you still getting hard for pussy or women in general?

[mfm4bnc]

I love all things cuckolding, but I don't want it to supplant my regular sex life. My wife indulges me a lot, and I like to indulge her with some loving-just between us sex also.

Lately, I have been struggling to get a boner unless we talk about very specific cuckold scenarios. I have tried taking time off from this site, taking time off from masturbating, etc, but even with those, I sometimes struggle.

Anyone have any ideas on how to maximize my boners? I love my wife and find her very sexy... I don't understand why this is difficult! (and yes, I have tried viagra) (and I get boners easily if we talk about specific scenarios)

Some men are programmed to perform good sex with a woman. Some of us are programmed to enjoy watching those men who can do it well. You need to accept that you are programmed in your brain, to be a cuckold. You will always find your greatest pleasure from watching those men who are particularly talented at pleasing a woman.

Work to accept who you are, find good lovers for your wife, serve your wife and her lovers well, and thank these men for pleasuring your wife, and providing an exciting experience for you.

thanks for the reply. I am quite good at pleasing women, and usually fuck until my partner is exhausted from orgasms. I am wired to please women, but lately I have been having trouble with erections unless my wife talks dirty and seems aroused by it.

[mfm4bnc]

Are you still getting hard for pussy or women in general?

I get aroused... I just don't get hard enough for penetration unless there is dirty talk.

[mfm4bnc]

Have a similar conundrum as I am recently recalling the wife swapping my parents did, that usually led to my mom retaining that other husband as her long term boyfriend/bull/lover, or whatever we should call them. For some reason buried those memories since 1969 and this site along with video porn sites, find myself masturbating to cuck, bbc or hotwife stuff. Have been single for a while. When trying to get off on vanilla porn, it ain't happening. Believe I got wired to grow up to be a long term, part time boyfriend to a married woman who has permission to play but have not experienced that yet. Have been a bachelor my whole life and my recent switch to the cuck porn has me thinking that my dad was perhaps a cuck or maybe a bull. The bbc porn is just this white guy wanting to pick up tips on how to make women cum harder with my own decent sized dick.

First on this list though is to find a willing partner again. When I do find her, am concerned that at this age, will I need my recent masturbation scenario categories present that arrived along with my recovered childhood memories, to get off with her. Or, can I expect to do fine without role playing.

Did have one doctor tell me that the things that frighten us most in childhood, if left untreated, can become a source of attraction when we are adults. So perhaps am frightened by being overly sexualized beginning at age 3 when mom repeatedly had her guy over while dad was at work. May not have understood all those sex noises back then and did see them a few times naked. Maybe was afraid for my mom, probably did not know if he was hurting her; like in a bad way.

Before all of these new memories came back, used to jack off to cheating wives stuff and going out of town for work hook up stories. Sometimes like to read the stories and some times like to watch the amateur home porn. If I ever got married, may talk about eventually opening up the marriage after a while. Looking back at the women whom I have been attracted to over time, they have confessed to me to have been mono regular wives, strippers, escorts or in open relationships. Uncanny right? My mom having been in the latter.

Hope you figure it out. Maybe I am just in a phase and any sex will arouse me. Having a willing naked woman in my bed, car, her bed, hotel ... will be a perfect start. Until then, will rewire my brain to accept vanilla scenarios too.

Practice time. Good night.

some of that rings true for me as well...

[mfm4bnc]

I'll take and educated guess because I've been there. Assuming you aren't of an age where going soft is a little more natural (say 50ish but it can vary)... too much porn/masturbation/edging will do it. It will kill your ability to get hard. You might be able to go like this for years but when it happens.... it's like you spent all the juice, the batteries are permanently dry. You need to stop.

Obviously that's a huge assumption.... but it explains things for me. If I don't play with myself too much, I have no problem, but I have to wait a few days and not jump right back into it because I can drain that battery to zero very fast, whereas if I never went back to spanking it, I could easily get hard for real sex the next day.

At first, a week break from porn/masturbation would fix it. Now not so much. I am 60ish, but lean and healthy. I know it is not all physical, as I can always get a boner if my wife gets into dirty talk.

[mfm4bnc]

I have had many kinks over the years I get off with through porn.
Definitely my latest BBC cuck phase is overtaking most others.

For me it's always been to not ejaculate for a day or 2 if I really wanna have intense vanilla sex.

Issue I find is if my wife does indulge me with some BBC cuck talk I can orgasm too quick.
I now find myself fantasizing that she just took a BBC and he loosened her again as we have vanilla sex as it can me me harder in an instant.

She almost always orgasms so I'm doing okay.
Knowing her past with BBC and because I find her extremely sexy arouses me all the time when I'm around her so that makes things easier.

Hope you're able to find a solution that works for you.

thanks :-)

[BBCfan]

Are you still getting hard for pussy or women in general?

I get aroused... I just don't get hard enough for penetration unless there is dirty talk.

Have you tried the blue pill?
I remember actually when I was a bit younger, I had broken up with a girlfriend and we had a lot of Kinky sex.

The next girlfriend was a smoke show but vanilla sex and I found myself not seemingly as hard when I got aroused.
I tried the blue pill, not always, but here and there, and it was almost like it reinvigorated the blood vessels and my erections got insanely harder.
It seemed to last after I stopped using the blue pill as well.

Another time I found my libido waning a bit, I ate more high quality beef which can naturally boost testosterone I read. It worked for me.

Just a few ideas.

[sana9889]

Maybe you need a break to reset

[MartasBoy]

At first, a week break from porn/masturbation would fix it. Now not so much. I am 60ish, but lean and healthy. I know it is not all physical, as I can always get a boner if my wife gets into dirty talk.

You have reprogrammed your brain to where your sexual response is now fixated on the dirty talk. Once you reach this point, it is difficult to go back. You have impaired your sexual response to the point that you need the dirty talk. But fortunately, your wife can seek other men who will not have your problem.

[mfm4bnc]

At first, a week break from porn/masturbation would fix it. Now not so much. I am 60ish, but lean and healthy. I know it is not all physical, as I can always get a boner if my wife gets into dirty talk.

You have reprogrammed your brain to where your sexual response is now fixated on the dirty talk. Once you reach this point, it is difficult to go back. You have impaired your sexual response to the point that you need the dirty talk. But fortunately, your wife can seek other men who will not have your problem.

That is a fun fantasy, and I have thought about the self-fulfilling prophecy, but I WANT to also have a sex life that she sees as loving and connecting.

[mfm4bnc]

Maybe you need a break to reset

How long a break does it take? I have tried two weeks without effect.