Haters

[Desiplayer]

As we have ppl in this lifestyle from array of backgrounds, cultures and religions curious to know ..how ppl perceive you and judge you in group settings…..as much this not in the open for our ppl ….but they way we look and dress and how we go out as couple has made many ppl in our circle of network and family have stare at us ….Has anyone felt this way?

As much as you can ignore and say it’s our life ….yes I agree but sometime that feeling …ehhhh

Since being in this lifestyle my wife has made a point to present her self well in public and certain events she make a point to show it….we feel great. We don’t go extream level but the ppl we are surrounded by makes us feel that way …we tend push it off or ignor hut you sense it in ppl

Do ppl get that ?

[Cdncuck]

I know what you're talking about but I think how people react to the behavior of others is a very individual thing.

My wife is a very outgoing, gregarious person. She's never had a problem with what other people thought. Personally, in the beginning, my approach was more conservative. Over time, my wife's attitude became my own.

Other people have their own problems. They have the same issues with paying bills, work relationships, mortgage payments, kid's education and all the other little things with which we all deal. If anyone takes the time to care one way or the other about your situation, they don't do it for long. Their lives keep rolling along just as yours does.

As to calling them "haters", that seems to be a bit much. They might disapprove of your lifestyle, your choice of employment or whatever but they don't hate you. Hating someone takes a lot of effort. Most people people might take a moment to disapprove of something you do. They may even spend a few minutes gossiping about you with somebody else.

It's highly unlikely they will take the time out of their lives to invest enough energy in you to actually hate you. You're probably spending more time worrying about what they think than they spend thinking about you.

Focus on your life and the good things in it and carry on.

[Her number1]

Someone not liking what you do, what you wear, etc., isn't even close to "hating" you.

But no, I never feel disliked or even judged. Nor do I even think about it.

[gruenberg]

I'm very happy that my wife doesn't display her lifestyle in public. In her daily life she is just the normal mother working with her students at the university. I simply believe that our society is not ready to let others live the way they want to. There are still so many areas where strangers want to tell you how you should live. This is sad, but reality.

In private, it is of course easier to distance yourself from these people. Unfortunately, in professional life you can't choose who you work with.

[leo-cpl]

I'm very happy that my wife doesn't display her lifestyle in public. In her daily life she is just the normal mother working with her students at the university. I simply believe that our society is not ready to let others live the way they want to. There are still so many areas where strangers want to tell you how you should live. This is sad, but reality.

In private, it is of course easier to distance yourself from these people. Unfortunately, in professional life you can't choose who you work with.

You have put this very accurately! We and I are very discreet we are based in a South East Asian country, we prefer this part of our lives be private and we do not flaunt it or be open about it. Our meets publicly over drinks are very social as well!

[Pufferfish]

Someone not liking what you do, what you wear, etc., isn't even close to "hating" you.

But no, I never feel disliked or even judged. Nor do I even think about it.

Not to make anyone feel old here... but... "hater" is a slang term young whippersnappers use lol. "Don't be hating" and "haters" are common slang terms. It basically means people that judge you.

To answer the question, no, because my wife is very shy and afraid of confrontation or anyone she knows finding out what she does. If we were hanging out in public with her FWB she would probably be pretty uncomfortable and nervous. It doesn't bother me, because I don't get embarrassed or care one little bit what anyone thinks of me, and I actually find confrontation to be a lot of fun. Someone getting confrontational with me actually makes my day better.

[Desiplayer]

Sorry to need to clarify and thanks for the comments
Yes I understand it’s lifestyle , i guess it’s more of ppl judging us or looking at us differently. We are not only showing it off but, ppl who know us see how how were before and now …my wife doesn’t dress slutty but compared to how ppl know is when we got married …now seeing my wife somewhat reveling cloths , sexy outfits …tights ….

you know what I mean

As we are becoming adapted to this lifestyle…I feel my wife is super bold and confident….

[Her number1]

Someone not liking what you do, what you wear, etc., isn't even close to "hating" you.

But no, I never feel disliked or even judged. Nor do I even think about it.

Not to make anyone feel old here... but... "hater" is a slang term young whippersnappers use lol. "Don't be hating" and "haters" are common slang terms. It basically means people that judge you.

To answer the question, no, because my wife is very shy and afraid of confrontation or anyone she knows finding out what she does. If we were hanging out in public with her FWB she would probably be pretty uncomfortable and nervous. It doesn't bother me, because I don't get embarrassed or care one little bit what anyone thinks of me, and I actually find confrontation to be a lot of fun. Someone getting confrontational with me actually makes my day better.

LOL, I covered the judging part in my second sentence.

[Her number1]

Sorry to need to clarify and thanks for the comments
Yes I understand it’s lifestyle , i guess it’s more of ppl judging us or looking at us differently. We are not only showing it off but, ppl who know us see how how were before and now …my wife doesn’t dress slutty but compared to how ppl know is when we got married …now seeing my wife somewhat reveling cloths , sexy outfits …tights ….

you know what I mean

As we are becoming adapted to this lifestyle…I feel my wife is super bold and confident….

If you are seeing it all as positive, good for you!
If you view it as negative, keep in mind:
People that like you, don't mind. Those that mind, didn't like you anyway

[Shiphead]

I'm very happy that my wife doesn't display her lifestyle in public. In her daily life she is just the normal mother working with her students at the university. I simply believe that our society is not ready to let others live the way they want to. There are still so many areas where strangers want to tell you how you should live. This is sad, but reality.

In private, it is of course easier to distance yourself from these people. Unfortunately, in professional life you can't choose who you work with.

I agree wiith Gruenberg. It's situational. Many professionals can't afford to present that image in public. Many places of employment don't allow it. Neighbors, some of whom I love and some, not so much, can make life difficult for us. You know the game where you whisper something to the next person in line and then see how it has changed by the last person? That's how gossip works. I would rather be a regular guy and wife at home. If you have children at home, some nosey neighbor may call child protection if they think you are out whoring it up. (Their possible words, not mine) Just like the pass it down the line game, it will probably change to you running a brothel and selling drugs.
I like seeing women dress for sex. Little is more. But not for us around home. Only out of town or on vacation.
Can you imagine going to your pediatrician or lawyer and they are dressed with very little on?
Also, children shouldn't see people dressed too sexy. It can confuse them.
It's great for those who can pull it off without negative consequences. But for many like us, not where we can be judged by people we have to deal with every day.

[gruenberg]

I'm very happy that my wife doesn't display her lifestyle in public. In her daily life she is just the normal mother working with her students at the university. I simply believe that our society is not ready to let others live the way they want to. There are still so many areas where strangers want to tell you how you should live. This is sad, but reality.

In private, it is of course easier to distance yourself from these people. Unfortunately, in professional life you can't choose who you work with.

You have put this very accurately! We and I are very discreet we are based in a South East Asian country, we prefer this part of our lives be private and we do not flaunt it or be open about it. Our meets publicly over drinks are very social as well!

It's sad that it's like this all over the world. From Europe to South East Asia.

[Johnann2227]

My wife, Ann is a primary school teacher. At work she is always professional. Knee length dresses, low heels or wedges etc. Classy but not fuck me sexy. She does wear an anklet daily but it is just gold with a love heart charm. In winter, under her dresses she does wear a suspender belt and stockings (she hates pantyhose) but noone would know she was.

If she was outed as a swinger or hotwife she would be sacked for bringing the Education Department into disrepute. Crazy but true. We have actually been at a swingers club and she has seen 2 couples enter the club together who were parents from her school. We hastily got dressed and left before they saw her.

A mother of a child who went to school with our daughter and also played in the same netball team saw us out in thee city one night on a date with another couple. Ann was wearing a tiny dress, killer heels and was all over the other husband.
Anyway this woman was disgusted and threatened to out us and get Ann sacked as a teacher and have our daughter kicked off the netball team.

Ann was beside herself but ended up ringing the lady and organised to meet her for coffee. After talking for a few hours and listening to Ann's explanation of our swinging lifestyle the woman actually apologised for causing us so much grief. It turned out that her husband had been cheating on her the year before and she hadn't got over it.
Years on if Ann sees her she always smiles and asks Ann if life is still "exciting"?