Ask a Hotwife Thread, to be answered by VHWs only!

[Lookingforadventure]

What advantages do you find in being a verified hotwife. I am asking so that I can best tell my sweetie about it.

I like having a community of women to ask advice from. We can talk more freely than in public forums, and can also ask more personal or embarrassing things. Plus, I just like cheering each other on. Tell her we'd love to welcome her.

[Sexilexi]

What advantages do you find in being a verified hotwife. I am asking so that I can best tell my sweetie about it.

I like having a community of women to ask advice from. We can talk more freely than in public forums, and can also ask more personal or embarrassing things. Plus, I just like cheering each other on. Tell her we'd love to welcome her.

What LFA said, Hehe
Yes we would love to welcome her!

I enjoy it also from the aspect that VHWs here are REAL. And we know you’re real so when you post things other members can trust that it’s not a fake account or anything.

-Lexi

[Shiphead]

I am of the opinion that the reason any woman when offered the opportunity to fuck anyone, including that huge cock gorgeous hard body ex boyfriend who made you cum at least 20 times every time he had fucked you and you said "nope. No one but you hubby". " No one else."
You give that answer because you don't believe the hubby can really handle it or you feel its a test. Is that the way it worked for many or any of you.
Then when you have a lot of communication with a prospect or ex you like, including sexting, hot talk on the phone, online live video showing off every inch of your body and seeing his, you get dressed up in your hottest clothes, go on a first or second date, he fingers your dripping wet pussy, you feel that fat, huge cock you want, you stop it all and say, "ok I'm going home". So he walks you to your car, kisses you and says goodbye.
You go home after that first date where, in reality, he fucked your brains out and rocked your world. You go home and tell hubby that you never went all the way, you got fingered and felt up but said you had to stop and go home. You only gave out part of the story because you didn't think that hubby could really hear it and handle it emotionally?
He hasn't yet passed the test that he is emotionally ready to know what happened. Once hubby passes the finger fuck, cock grab and that you then left for home test. You can tell him a little more next time.
I just read 2 posts where that happened. The girls left in the middle of everything and went home?
Anyone want to admit that happened to you or someone you know? Just give out enough of what happened until hubby passes that test and you are confident he can handle it without ruining your relationship.

I think somewhat the same things happens often. Kinda cheat by ommission. But you can always fall back on the statement that he begged you to do it, which he did.

[Sexilexi]

I am of the opinion that the reason any woman when offered the opportunity to fuck anyone, including that huge cock gorgeous hard body ex boyfriend who made you cum at least 20 times every time he had fucked you and you said "nope. No one but you hubby". " No one else."
You give that answer because you don't believe the hubby can really handle it or you feel its a test. Is that the way it worked for many or any of you.

No. It hasn’t worked out like that for me. My husband has known every time someone has touched me in that way.

Then when you have a lot of communication with a prospect or ex you like, including sexting, hot talk on the phone, online live video showing off every inch of your body and seeing his, you get dressed up in your hottest clothes, go on a first or second date, he fingers your dripping wet pussy, you feel that fat, huge cock you want, you stop it all and say, "ok I'm going home". So he walks you to your car, kisses you and says goodbye.

The only reason I would stop a playdate is if the guy isn’t doing it for me. Or if my family needed me.

You go home after that first date where, in reality, he fucked your brains out and rocked your world. You go home and tell hubby that you never went all the way, you got fingered and felt up but said you had to stop and go home. You only gave out part of the story because you didn't think that hubby could really hear it and handle it emotionally?

This isn’t my dynamic with my husband. So I have never lied or didn’t tell the whole truth about what happened on a play date.

He hasn't yet passed the test that he is emotionally ready to know what happened. Once hubby passes the finger fuck, cock grab and that you then left for home test. You can tell him a little more next time.

If my husband isn’t emotionally ready then we would have discussed it previously. I don’t ever go behind his back because our lifestyle choices are meant to be open and achieved together, it’s most fun that way. If either of us are not “ready” then we discuss it and communicate till we are.

I just read 2 posts where that happened. The girls left in the middle of everything and went home?

I don’t know if you’re implying the girls who left in the middle to go home are lying or what? But as I’ve said, if I had to leave it’s because of an emergency or I just wasn’t feeling it.

Anyone want to admit that happened to you or someone you know? Just give out enough of what happened until hubby passes that test and you are confident he can handle it without ruining your relationship.

Nothing for me to admit here. I tell hubs and everything and most of the times he is watching anyway. I hope you get some clarification, I just didn’t want to leave your question hanging.

I think somewhat the same things happens often. Kinda cheat by ommission. But you can always fall back on the statement that he begged you to do it, which he did.

I guess it could happen, everyone’s dynamics are different. For C and I, I never “cheat” and to be clear my husband has never begged me to fuck other men. It was my choice and always is my choice. He loves it and so do I.

-Lexi

[Shiphead]

Thank you Lexi for the responses. I think you relationship is how all couples should handle it.
The reason I asked is because as I had referred to, I read 2 posts that that is what the husbands were told. It just didn't seem like that would usually happen. It seemed to me that they were still not sure how much they could trust their husbands could handle the whole truth. So they only told them part of their encounter. Just guessing on my part but I would expect to hear answers like you gave to my question. I just think some wives probably answer the way think their husbands can deal with or expect.

[Badapple39]

Hello ladies. My wife and I are just in fantasy mode right now. We have a rule about not flirting on playing with friends, even if we suspect they are in the LS. My wife does not want to use apps either. She wants any play to be more organic. We are also too busy to get on apps and update profiles etc. So where do you find lovers when you basically pigeon hole yourself? I read farm girl is good at finding lovers in home improvement stores, so I write out hall passes for my wife on store coupons and tell her to go get some paint. We are going on a little trip, I’ll keep my distance at bars and dance floors and see if anything happens. Any other advice while avoiding the digital age?
TIA!

[Farmgirl]

Hello ladies. My wife and I are just in fantasy mode right now. We have a rule about not flirting on playing with friends, even if we suspect they are in the LS. My wife does not want to use apps either. She wants any play to be more organic. We are also too busy to get on apps and update profiles etc. So where do you find lovers when you basically pigeon hole yourself? I read farm girl is good at finding lovers in home improvement stores, so I write out hall passes for my wife on store coupons and tell her to go get some paint. We are going on a little trip, I’ll keep my distance at bars and dance floors and see if anything happens. Any other advice while avoiding the digital age?
TIA!

To do it without some "online", it takes flirting. She needs to make eye contact, smile, and then continue to flirt. But, why limit yourselves by pigeonholing her?
Acquaintances and friends make for an easier hunt.

[Badapple39]

That’s a good point. I’ll bring that up.
PS we are still virgins technically. So, online or through podcasts, people talk about STI test results pre meet up and verify they are clean etc. Besides condoms how else can I make sure she is safe if she’s has a random opportunity with an unknown?

[Farmgirl]

I don't do random or one-night stands. Just not my style. I live in a small community and you basically know everyone. So you know who you can trust and who you can't. But first of all, I flirt and get to know the person better. I guess you could say that I date before I take the plunge.

[Restarting]

Hello Ladies!
I'm a big proponent of ENM. It has vaulted the relationship between my wife, M and me to unparalleled heights. To me, ENM is a natural state and provides a means for achieving maximum happiness in life.

But 3 of M's encounters have been with married men in supposedly monogamous relationships. Certainly not ethical on their parts.

M has no interest in breaking up any relationships but knows from firsthand experience that infidelity is a choice. The risk to those marriages are not her responsibility or concern. If these men weren't with M, they would find other women, she reasons.

I agree that spouses have full responsibility for their relationships. But when these men are hiding their affairs from their spouses, do my wife's sessions with them fall under the "ethical" part of ENM? Does that matter?

M has had enjoyed her time with them so, naturally, that makes me happy. But a small piece of me feels a little bit is lost when deception is involved on their part. It's so much cleaner when everything is done above board.

What are your thoughts?

[bltn1966]

Hello Ladies.
Since she’s become a HW My wife has squirted a handful of times. Although she loves the way it feels, she doesn’t want to do it again. She hates losing control of her body and she usually has abdominal pain the next day. The problem is she can’t tell the difference between an orgasm and a squirt-gasm. I know ladies can hold off their orgasms. Do most ladies know if they’re going to squirt or is it a complete surprise when it happens?

[alicexg]

I always know when I'm about to squirt, and I thoroughly enjoy it. It only happens when I'm nearing a powerful orgasm from deep penetration. There's no pain or shame involved; I just relish the experience, and all the men I've been with have enjoyed it too. I reccomend to her to search her feelings just before that happens and learn from it, but never do anything that hurts you mentally or physically.
xoxo
Alice

Hello Ladies.
Since she’s become a HW My wife has squirted a handful of times. Although she loves the way it feels, she doesn’t want to do it again. She hates losing control of her body and she usually has abdominal pain the next day. The problem is she can’t tell the difference between an orgasm and a squirt-gasm. I know ladies can hold off their orgasms. Do most ladies know if they’re going to squirt or is it a complete surprise when it happens?

[LuckyD]

VHW do you prefer:
A) Be taken out on a romantic date by the Bull, wined and dined, seduced, massaged, made love to.
B) Meet your Bull in bed, get naked, and play all night together, orgasming many times.

[alicexg]

to me the answer is simple (B)
I dont want a relationship, I already have one.

VHW do you prefer:
A) Be taken out on a romantic date by the Bull, wined and dined, seduced, massaged, made love to.
B) Meet your Bull in bed, get naked, and play all night together, orgasming many times.

[Gardener]

My wife has a MFM fantasy, but is a bit shy when it comes to talking about it. So I don't bring it up too often. In most of the accounts I have read or heard the husband keeps bringing up the idea of hotwifing until finally the wife agrees. So I feel conflicted. On the one hand I don't want to keep bringing it up until finally she give in and tries it, even if she ends up loving it. It feels coercive. On the other hand, I know society tells women they are not supposed to like this. So perhaps a persistent husband gives a wife cover to still be a good girl. "I wasn't sure, but he kept bringing it up, so I finally tried it." Thoughts?

[Lucky Dog]

My wife has a MFM fantasy, but is a bit shy when it comes to talking about it. So I don't bring it up too often. In most of the accounts I have read or heard the husband keeps bringing up the idea of hotwifing until finally the wife agrees. So I feel conflicted. On the one hand I don't want to keep bringing it up until finally she give in and tries it, even if she ends up loving it. It feels coercive. On the other hand, I know society tells women they are not supposed to like this. So perhaps a persistent husband gives a wife cover to still be a good girl. "I wasn't sure, but he kept bringing it up, so I finally tried it." Thoughts?

You could tell her that since she has expressed having this fantasy, it might be fun to watch some porn with hotwifing. Pick out something you think she might enjoy in advance, then show it to her while you're in bed together. If she enjoys it, you'll know pretty quickly by how excited she gets. No need to ask if she wants to do it. Play with the fantasy for a while, and if she starts showing she wants it, you can ask if she ever thought of doing it for real.

[Gardener]

We do watch mfm porn sometimes. It's hit or miss depending on the exact content. Curious to hear verified hotwives weigh in.

[DrGoether]

Newbie in discussions with wife. We would start out with her just mouth kissing and giving and receiving oral with her lover. She says I can watch if her boyfriend is ok with it, otherwise she would be by herself and promises she would mouth kiss and give and receive oral only. She and I agree that her vagina is reserved for her husband only. Will this work or is it silly and naive to have this rule of no penis-vaginal penetration (or anal)? If I am not there, she could fib and just not tell me. She could always say she just sucked him off. I do fully trust her but I fear that in the throes of passion with a new lover she may not be able to control herself and she will want him take her vaginally. If I always insist on watching, she will think I am not trusting her, but I really do. Any advice on how to proceed is very much appreciated. We are in the process of laying the ground rules and will begin together to find her first lover in a few weeks when we go on vacation.

[Farmgirl]

You said it yourself. You are silly and naive to have all these rules. And no, you don't trust her because you have all these rules. If you want a true hotwife, you have to have complete trust and allow her to take control of the time with other men. Let her be free to think and not worry about what rule she broke. Also, it sounds to me like you want her to have a hookup, a random or a one night stand because you are not ready for her to have a boyfriend/lover. And one night stands maybe her thing. If so, that's her decision. I have had the same boyfriend/lover for 5 years now. It is perfect for me and my Number 1.

[Lookingforadventure]

Newbie in discussions with wife. We would start out with her just mouth kissing and giving and receiving oral with her lover. She says I can watch if her boyfriend is ok with it, otherwise she would be by herself and promises she would mouth kiss and give and receive oral only. She and I agree that her vagina is reserved for her husband only. Will this work or is it silly and naive to have this rule of no penis-vaginal penetration (or anal)? If I am not there, she could fib and just not tell me. She could always say she just sucked him off. I do fully trust her but I fear that in the throes of passion with a new lover she may not be able to control herself and she will want him take her vaginally. If I always insist on watching, she will think I am not trusting her, but I really do. Any advice on how to proceed is very much appreciated. We are in the process of laying the ground rules and will begin together to find her first lover in a few weeks when we go on vacation.

I don't think you are ready for this. For hot wifing (or any ethical nonmonogamy) to work, you need great communication and trust as a couple. It doesn't sound like you are there yet. Maybe spend more time talking about what each of you want and what it would look like. Figure out how you will talk about it when/if she wants more or when/if you are jealous. Understanding each other (not rules) is the baseline you need before moving forward.

And kissing plus oral is a totally fine place to start if that's what you both want, and if you know how to talk about it afterwards.

[DrGoether]

We talked a lot yesterday and I told her I was being selfish by wanting her to reserve her pussy just for me. She said she did not feel that way, that she understands how I would feel that way and she is ready to move ahead, with or without any rules. I told her we would forget any rules and she is free to do what she wants, whatever gives her the most pleasure is my primary concern. I am now afraid that when we get going she will try to please me and hold herself back. Now I am trying to convince her that I am OK if she fucks her lover, that only her pleasure is my biggest concern. .I wish I had never mentioned any rule about reserving her pussy just for me. Looks like I my have just created an inhibition for her and I am sorry for that.Any advice on how to proceed?

[Tiger30]

Hello All. Any help support or advice would be appreciated. More than happy to provide details if requested. I have been married for 14 years. Celibate for 10. Had pushed the HW idea but backfired to where she will now routinely mastubate, has a broad collection of toys, but has not seriously pursued another live cock. Any suggestions? Just give it up?

Thank you.

PS she is gorgeous, blonde tan beautiful augmented boobs, shaved puss, in her 50's and has it all.

[mrs_hotwifecplsa]

VHW do you prefer:
A) Be taken out on a romantic date by the Bull, wined and dined, seduced, massaged, made love to.
B) Meet your Bull in bed, get naked, and play all night together, orgasming many times.

Between these two, B. But it doesn't have to be all night. I got a husband for romantic stuff.

[mrs_hotwifecplsa]

Hey I want to ask some questions
1 why some woman say size doesn't matter?
2 does marriage or relationship suffers once woman is with bull or boyfriend
3 is it okay to get into lifestyle just after wedding knowing each other only for less than a year?
4is it okay to start lifestyle before kids?
Sidenote : we have a good communication and we always speak about matters as such with each other still I want to know from women who are already in the lifestyle about their experiences

1. They don't want to hurt your feelings.
2. Depends on the husband and wife. The wife must be open to it and want to do it for herself, and the husband must not get too jealous. Both need to understand what they are getting into. If your marriage has issues, this lifestyle will crush your marriage.
3. You seriously got married after ONE YEAR? Seriously, this lifestyle will lead you to divorce.
4. Yes.

[mrs_hotwifecplsa]

Hello lovely Hotwives. Have any of you started by cheating on your husband and when he found out he was excited and wanted you to continue?

I'm sure it happens, but by the time a wife decides to cheat, there are deep problems in the relationship and she is likely past the point of no return. It rarely ends well.