Chris and Emily (and Emily's Guys?)

[Small]

Great in-depth recap of the events! She is a true hotwife now.
I made a notice of this comment: "and if she would be seeing new damage or wear and tear next week at their appointment". So, they have already planned a new date?

[BallSpanking]

And has she mentioned she will be seeing him again? Because she will ...
You know that, right?

[Mumfred]

Okay, finally got some time to update the thread. God, I really don't know where to start.

Goddamn that is hot. Thanks for the update Chris.

[Angsty Cuck]

Congratulations! You’ll remember this day for the rest of your life.

[Gazmo]

Beginner_Chris A lot to process eh! Just take your time, the first time is always nerve wracking
Remember it's only pleasure, hers and yours.

Now I can't think of a pleasure any greater than my girl taking another man's thick length - that gets me (and her) off like never before.

Congratulations, there are plenty on this forum with flights of fancy but for those of us who have actually experienced a Hotwife in action there really is nothing better

[Angsty Cuck]

And has she mentioned she will be seeing him again? Because she will ...
You know that, right?

This.

[Beginner_Chris]

To answer the current questions, she's not actually said she'll see him again, no. Obviously she'll see him at his physio appointments but she hasn't said anything about him asking for another date. She said he hasn't texted her today.

Honestly, my head is still in such a mess over it all. Every time I think about it I get this weird mix of being so hard and so weirdly jealous at the same time. It's not like porn or the fantasy talk, it feels weirdly real, a cross between your girlfriend leaving you and her loving you more than ever.

I asked Emily if she'd see him again and she said I needed to stop asking a million questions and see where it led, and he might not even ever text her again

[snoogaloo82]

Wow!! Sounds like she had the perfect night out with him! You couldn't ask for a better time out then the way that things happened with the two of them!! I can't wait for them to explore each other's lives even more and get even more intimate. I hope that things work out between the two of them.

[BallSpanking]

I asked Emily if she'd see him again and she said I needed to stop asking a million questions and see where it led, and he might not even ever text her again

If David is an idiot, he might never ask to see her again ... But even then, most idiots would!
And by the sound of things, Emily would be thrilled to see him again, but she will likely wait for David to take the initiative.

[venus-can99]

Thanks for the wonderful descriptions of the interaction between you and Emily and ‘Em and David. Hopefully he asks her out again soon. Would love to hear deets

[Beginner_Chris]

She's gone to yoga class this morning, and she told me that he texted her in the middle of the night, and we'd talk about it when she was home. So who knows what that might even mean?

[David52]

Did you hear from her at all during her date?

[David52]

Did you hear from her at all during her date?

[Midnight Joker]

Too bad she showered before you had your chance to reclaim her!

[mundyman]

To answer the current questions, she's not actually said she'll see him again, no. Obviously she'll see him at his physio appointments but she hasn't said anything about him asking for another date. She said he hasn't texted her today.

Honestly, my head is still in such a mess over it all. Every time I think about it I get this weird mix of being so hard and so weirdly jealous at the same time. It's not like porn or the fantasy talk, it feels weirdly real, a cross between your girlfriend leaving you and her loving you more than ever.

I asked Emily if she'd see him again and she said I needed to stop asking a million questions and see where it led, and he might not even ever text her again

You need to give her space.
Remember this is your kink not hers. As messed up as your head is just imagine the state she is in. I’m sure she’s processing a lot of feelings just like you are.
Rather than asking about him, ask about her. How is she feeling about:
Him,
Her,
Doing anything like this again,
And most importantly, you two.
You don’t want to fuck up your relationship b/c you are pushing her, or rushing her, or smothering her into this or with this.
This should add to your relationship, not damage it so don’t make her feel like some kind of sex toy that you’re playing with by getting off on her having sex with other people.
Younger women are turned on by older men b/c of their maturity and knowledge of how to,treat a woman.
Tread carefully

[mundyman]

To answer the current questions, she's not actually said she'll see him again, no. Obviously she'll see him at his physio appointments but she hasn't said anything about him asking for another date. She said he hasn't texted her today.

Honestly, my head is still in such a mess over it all. Every time I think about it I get this weird mix of being so hard and so weirdly jealous at the same time. It's not like porn or the fantasy talk, it feels weirdly real, a cross between your girlfriend leaving you and her loving you more than ever.

I asked Emily if she'd see him again and she said I needed to stop asking a million questions and see where it led, and he might not even ever text her again

You need to give her space.
Remember this is your kink not hers. As messed up as your head is just imagine the state she is in. I’m sure she’s processing a lot of feelings just like you are.
Rather than asking about him, ask about her. How is she feeling about:
Him,
Her,
Doing anything like this again,
And most importantly, you two.
You don’t want to fuck up your relationship b/c you are pushing her, or rushing her, or smothering her into this or with this.
This should add to your relationship, not damage it so don’t make her feel like some kind of sex toy that you’re playing with by getting off on her having sex with other people.
Younger women are turned on by older men b/c of their maturity and knowledge of how to,treat a woman.
Tread carefully

To add to this,
She needs after care. Get her flowers, take her out for lunch or dinner, make her, her favorite meal, ask her how SHE’S feeling, pamper her…
A woman’s mind does more tumbles and questioning than you can even imagine. She questioning a lot of things.
Convince her she has no reason to question your love and commitment for her.
You don’t need to ask questions like a little toddler at the mall, give her space, she’ll share when she’s ready.

[1999]

Congratulations, Chris. I hope this is everything you two spoke about, and everything you’d dreamed about. It’s exactly what I’ve fantasised about with my wife, so (like a lot of guys here, I guess) I’ll be living vicariously through you and Emily.

[hiki]

She's gone to yoga class this morning, and she told me that he texted her in the middle of the night, and we'd talk about it when she was home. So who knows what that might even mean?

Maybe she wants to 'see' him again? I can't wait to hear the results of this talk!

[jimbean868]

Remember that as weird as it may be for you; her mind is probably also doing somersaults.

And there is a good chance she doesn't feel comfortable talking to you about them. Thoughts like "What if he doesn't call me again?" etc. Make sure she's comfortable. Make sure she knows you love her. Make sure she knows that even if she has NRE, you fully support her.

If you get this right you set yourself up for decades of sexy hotwifing. If you get it wrong, you at best ruin the chances of it happening again, at worse cause a rift in your relationship.

[Anrew]

Not only is this a very exciting read, but I am also a silver fox, working in academia and of course, live in Kent The temptation to ask which wine bar/restaurant Emily is on a date in is quite high!!!!

[Beginner_Chris]

Okay so we had the talk. It started pretty bad, honestly. I think without a lot of the advice here I would've messed it up completely. We got to a good place by the end of it but yeah, I was coming on too strong and she was feeling overwhelmed, and her thoughts were on a completely different level to mine.

So firstly, she felt pressured by all my questions and not even just my questions but the felt like I had this aura around me where it was all I wanted to talk about after it happened, and she needed time to sit with it rather than just talk about it every conversation we had.

I said I got that, and I apologised, and kind of started trying to focus on her. I asked a lot of the questions you guys posted here. It was awkward at first and honestly, some of the answers weirdly hurt, but it was like it unlocked her and she opened up way way way more.

I asked her how she was feeling about David first. She said she wasn't sure, the whole thing was so strange, and she felt a bit uncomfortable sharing every detail about what happened with him because it was like THEIR thing and it made it cheaper or "more tacky" if she was just doing it for random sex to tell me about. And she reminded me that a lot of the things we've read, the girls have real relationships with their other men, it's not just "hole in the wall sex", in her words. She was actually getting pretty emotional at this point and she said I was accidentally making her feel cheap. She said she knew it wasn't my fault at all but now it was a reality and not "just a fantasy", I wasn't making her feel good about it.

We talked a lot about that and I actually got it as soon as she said this stuff. So I ordered in coffee and donuts (she barely eats them but she loves them) and we had dinner and talked more. We talked about it not being some random sex talk thing we "bolt on" to our relationship, that if this was a real thing then it had to be just something that happened and not the whole focus of our relationship.

I talked about my feelings saying it was incredible that she did it, it made her way more attractive to me, and I loved how she was so free and open and sensual, and all that stuff. That really seemed to get through to her, she said she felt like all I'd cared about was "the sex scene, like a shitty porn clip" and I'd missed out all the really other good stuff.

She asked what was on my mind, and I said it was obviously the sex but also that I was curious about her feelings about it all, and especially how she felt about herself, about him, and about us.

THAT definitely worked because she said she was feeling better about us now we'd talked and then she started talking about David and some of the stuff she hadn't admitted yet.

She said the main element that was messing with her head is that she didn't expect to enjoy it so much. She said she kind of did it for me but that during and after it she "felt it for herself" too, and she was feeling slightly bad about that, and that she also didn't expect to like him as much as she did now, and that was a weird and "not awesome" feeling. She wasn't sure what it meant about us, if she could feel "dizzy or whatever" for another guy, or what it meant for her that she'd "crush on some way older guy".

She said that she was worried he didn't text or call her much after it, and that he might "be one of those guys who fucks and ghosts" girls, but that she was reassured when he texted her (finally). She said that she can't stop thinking abut him and she knows that's "a dumb reaction", and she was sorry for it but she wanted to be honest.

I kept reassuring her the whole time that it was cool, it was fine, I loved her, I felt the same about her as before, and she was 100% allowed emotions for other guys and it didn't break us up or anything. She asked if I still wanted it to happen again and I said Yes, and she asked "Even if I crush on a guy?" and I said Yes. She asked if she ever had real feelings for a guy and if that would be a serious deal and I said it would be, but maybe not a bad thing necessarily. That was when she sort of said it was difficult to talk about because it sounded more serious than she meant, she wasn't "in love with him or anything" just that it was an amazing night and it "put all these new thoughts" in her head.

She asked if I wanted to read the messages between them and I actually said No, I was trying to show her I trusted her and was cool with it all, which I am. I did ask if she wanted to see him again and she kind of put the sofa cushion over face and said "Yes..." in this awkward but adorable way. I laughed and said I'd never seen her like this and it was actually cute, and she threw the cushion at me XD

Emily's at work now, at her physio gig, and she won't be seeing him until Weds or Thurs, I don't think.

The last thing she said about it when we talked last night was her saying he wasn't being flirtatious like most guys, he was being "very patient and like he plays zero games". When I asked what that meant, she said it was hard to explain, it was just his vibe during and after. And that he hasn't asked her out exactly and she's not sure if he will. She said she hinted by saying she was free next weekend and he replied that he was hosting a get together with some friends next weekend, and that was the last thing he said.

I did push it a little by saying things like how freaking hot she is and how he must obviously want to see her again, and that's super obvious because look at how many guys flirt with her and hit on her when we're out, or online, etc. And she said "Then why isn't HE asking me out again?"

[elina]

Thanks Chris,

Now go out,
buy a big bouquet of Flowers for Emily
write a nice card for Her telling Her how much you love Her for just being Her.
Then just be there for Her tonight, try to focus on what She wants the two of you to do..... and support Her.

Sincerely
elina

[BallSpanking]

You need to love Emily in the most wholesome way you can. Be kind and considerate, do not bring David up unless she does, and when she does, be understanding and supportive of her. Show Emily you too are loving and patient, and if she needs to see her way through this crush, you will be taking care of the home front, so she has a safe haven with you always to fall back on. Buy her some lovely clothes, classy, not necessarily sexy, and some nice flowers, and above all be empathetic, be her confidant if you want her to trust you and confide in you. Do your best to show her you are forbearing and firm in your love for her, her trust and intimacy are important to you, and you do not want to lose her.
It does not sound as though David will try to take her from you, it is Emily who was overwhelmed by the experience, but she may be starting an emotional affair with him at this point, and you need to be her rock so she can work her way through this and still feel safe and have a home with you.
Please keep us posted.

[slenderfish]

Thanks again, Chris, for posting and sharing your experience. Remember that each of you is having your individual experience with this, and your relationship as a couple is also having an experience with this. Right now, she is processing how she is feeling as an individual and needs to do so before she can then rationalize the couple element. Also please remember that your desire/predilection has been inside of you for much much longer than her more recent adjustment around it. She needs to catch up to you, and is now on an accelerated path to do so. It's a lot. And she's a woman; therefore, needs to come to grips with herself and her feelings, to find a place of comfort and peace with them.

The advice here that you take it slow, give her room, etc. is all about what I noted above. While she is adjusting within herself, there will be times where she fears for your relationship; this is where you need to also be present (while giving her space).

And while it will be difficult, you can't be so considerate that you give up your place in this whole thing. Be careful here. This is where I got off track, and let it get away from me/us. To wit:

SW also portrayed her venture with her guy and asked for a compromise; first, that he be out of town (in our case, out of state!) and second, that she portray as a wife who has her own mind and adventures (e.g. a cheating wife) because of the legitimate concern over the guy. And of course, I agreed as one would. The out of town element was difficult to plan and execute, involving 3+ hour flights each way, hotel room, rental car, etc. but the cheating wife portrayal became the biggest roadblock. Her guy accepted that on its face, and therefore over time didn't really invest much in the way of time and emotion/interest in her. She presented herself as an easy fuck for his convenience and was sorely disappointed when he treated it that way.

There was no ability to reshape it in a way that he had to treat her right, to consider her feelings, etc. He didn't have to call her back, to text her, etc. She ended up feeling uncertain when he did not call back with a lot of desire, etc. (kind of like I'm seeing in Emily's initial aftermath). Turns out that he only connected with her when it suited him and his social schedule. Even when they had plans, he sometimes showed up late and/or did a last-minute reschedule.

And the other upshot is that I was kind of left on the sideline. She started getting guarded about her feelings of disappointment and began to discard my assurances, etc. when he did not come around as she'd hoped. On my side, I was now in a position where I could not ask for anything (for me) in this. It understandably became all about her, and my part in it (my desire) was not able to be considered during those times.

So if at all possible, I'd recommend her transitioning the story of "cheating" to something else that is more pliable, and perhaps more true. Perhaps she becomes more of a girlfriend to him, that she needs someone like him as a mentor and lover and for opening her eyes and her mind to other ways of thinking, meeting new people, etc. and that her boyfriend allows/supports/encourages it. If he's been in the Army and experienced in life, this will not be as much of a shock to him, compared to a younger person. Something to think about, if you want this to last for her and for the two of you.

Finally, also remember that her way of experiencing a man is in the traditional way. That is, he chases her, she resists but then opens herself up to his advances, and ultimately opens herself up to him, physically. And then expects him to treat her like any new man, phone calls, connection, gifts, etc. She forgets that she is in a relationship with you and that he knows it. He, on the other hand, is probably thinking he should keep a low profile (she doesn't want to be discovered by you, after all) and keep some space in fear that she will get "caught" by you and/or regret her cheating and disappear on him. Each side protecting their exposed feelings. Normal, and a natural result of the cheating scenario.

Hope this helps. Best wishes to you and your lovely Emily!

[venus-can99]

Thanks for the update Chris. As most people with experience in the LS have pointed out Emily is dealing with a lot of emotions about this as well and being supportive and loving would go a long way in making her feel good about this.