Chris and Emily (and Emily's Guys?)

[ugcp]

This is a fun thread, and congrats.

As illustrated with OPs last post, in my opinion, often people tend to focus too much on the mechanical factors (which are great and exciting, of course), and not enough on the emotions that go with them. Even many hotwife posts/threads here, I'm surprised by how their recountings focus so much on the physical events and less on their feelings. Personally, it's the feelings that I'm the most interested in. In addition to enjoying when women are experiencing joy, pleasure, excitement, etc, I'm always looking to learn more about how women experience and perceive things. Sometimes I'll learn something unexpected, and it can be like "oh.. wow, as a dude I never thought of it that way".

As for the "will he call/ask for another date" topic, I think it is important to remember that we are dealing with consensual non-monogamy relationship dynamics, not traditional dating. That means it is possible someone (including the other man) can give it a try, and then find out they can't handle it. Maybe the guy has a great connection with the hotwife, and starts getting excited about future X with her, and then remembers that X can't actually happen because she's in a primary relationship. Maybe they realize THEY are sharing their new sexual partner too, which isn't something everyone can handle. And it isn't necessarily that the other man exploited the situation going in just to bed the woman... he honestly may never have been in such a situation and didn't realize how he would feel (shockingly, lots of men don't expend all that much time on emotional introspection and contemplation lol). Now I'm not saying this is how this David guy feels, but just presenting it as a possible reason a man might not seek further dates with a hotwife... it isn't that she isn't attractive enough or that she did something wrong or anything like that... it's completely circumstantial.

Anyway, hopefully they arrange another date soon and things continue well. In the meantime, I suppose I'd suggest trying to balance supporting her excitement with keeping her reasonably grounded so there's less risk of a crash if things don't continue. And really focus on making sure she doesn't feel cheap about all this - that was a key point she communicated with you, so definitely something she might struggle with that maybe you can find a way to ease.

[Beginner_Chris]

He sent her flowers, they just arrived. She's out so she doesn't know yet, and I had to take delivery. It was a weird feeling, let me tell you.

The card is kind of ambiguous, like he didn't want to say too much. It just says:

"E,
Yes, it was an invitation.
D."

I don't know what it means, I'll ask Emily when she's back.

Can I just say thanks for all the insight and advice so far, it was obvious I messed it up a little at first, so it's been amazing getting the help to get things mostly back on track.

[BallSpanking]

He mentioned to her he was hosting a meeting this weekend for some people. It was an invitation.

[54321]

Thank you for your courageously honest updates.

54321

[sandy691196]

Sorry to sound a discordant note.
But have you thought this thing through beyond the cuck kick?

Are you actually OK with her falling in love with him (yah that's the deal)? Words don't mean nothin'.. "Crushing", "real feelings" blah blah - just words.

He is an oldie but has glamour. Looks, money, success, charm, class.. the works.

He is making her work for it. He has her wrapped round his pinkie.

Unless he keeps her at arms' length as one of his side pieces, this is gonna be a free fall. In order to keep her playing and to keep her in good humour, you just gave her a hall pass to fall in love and downgrade you to her cute, clingy dutiful, less mature - what-do-I-do-with-this-guy-now!

From what you have described, at this moment, you dont mean much to her beyond relationship baggage. He can have her at his whim and will.

He knows that. He is chuckling at the kind of a push over he has landed. A girl smitten with him and with 0 regard for her Fiance.

You might hate me for this. But tough tittie..

[Just4you32]

Sorry to sound a discordant note.
But have you thought this thing through beyond the cuck kick?

Are you actually OK with her falling in love with him (yah that's the deal)? Words don't mean nothin'.. "Crushing", "real feelings" blah blah - just words.

He is an oldie but has glamour. Looks, money, success, charm, class.. the works.

He is making her work for it. He has her wrapped round his pinkie.

Unless he keeps her at arms' length as one of his side pieces, this is gonna be a free fall. In order to keep her playing and to keep her in good humour, you just gave her a hall pass to fall in love and downgrade you to her cute, clingy dutiful, less mature - what-do-I-do-with-this-guy-now!

From what you have described, at this moment, you dont mean much to her beyond relationship baggage. He can have her at his whim and will.

He knows that. He is chuckling at the kind of a push over he has landed. A girl smitten with him and with 0 regard for her Fiance.

You might hate me for this. But tough tittie..

Stick to your day job, friend. I don’t think I’ve ever read so many non-sequiturs in one summary here before.

[readyy2009]

I don't think I would have worded it that way but I was getting the same vibes from the way OP wrote the updates...I know we don't see the relationship of OP and Fiance but she does seem smitten and a little submissive to the former Military guy

[snoogaloo82]

I don't think I would have worded it that way but I was getting the same vibes from the way OP wrote the updates...I know we don't see the relationship of OP and Fiance but she does seem smitten and a little submissive to the former Military guy

If you trust the love that the husband has for his wife, and the wife has for the husband then there are no worries. and if it falls apart it wasn't a strong relationship in the first place. I trust my sweetie with anyone and everyone as I know we have a special bond and I make her feel like she's the queen of earth!

[sandy691196]

I don't think I would have worded it that way but I was getting the same vibes from the way OP wrote the updates...I know we don't see the relationship of OP and Fiance but she does seem smitten and a little submissive to the former Military guy

Not just that, she kinda ran it through the OP that it's OK to fall head over heels for the guy ..and still continue to see him (with the snowballing it entails).

This came AFTER she made her fiance feel like shit for wanting to know the details of the sex part (their actual agenda when they agreed to get into the LS).. She made it clear that the train had derailed! Meaning - it had stopped being a sex thing and had become something much larger and more complex.

And for good measure she asked him if he is still OK with her seeing him, knowing that she is falling for him (her symptoms are classic "falling in love".. though she tried playing it down a bit with words like "crushing" et al)..

OP, on the backfoot since he had pushed her into this (the classic guilt trap) now has said ok to everything and green lit her path ahead. So unless lucky circumstances take over (or the ol' man cools it with her), OP will now helplessly watch his fiancee become the guy's woman all the way.

The way the ol' fox is playin it, he is fanning her need, making himself more and more precious and making her chase him. So it would never be his fault via a vis her. Never be her fault vis a vis our OP ..

Finally the OP will be left holding the can.

[Beginner_Chris]

Okay, well, some stuff has happened, we had a few more talks, and this thread is kind of a splash of cold water that isn't making me feel super awesome so I may take a break from updating, because damn.

I appreciate even the negative vibe advice, so don't worry, I get it, I'm not offended. It's just a bit scary, makes it feel bad updating things.

[readyy2009]

I don't think anyone here is trying to make you feel bad or offend you but just giving you warnings from the details you posted...From what you posted it did not feel like the experience brought you and Emily closer but almost like it opened her eyes to what else is out there...Again nobody here knows your relationship like you do and we only get a glimps into it from your words

[readyy2009]

What was said during the talks with Emily?

[venus-can99]

Okay, well, some stuff has happened, we had a few more talks, and this thread is kind of a splash of cold water that isn't making me feel super awesome so I may take a break from updating, because damn.

I appreciate even the negative vibe advice, so don't worry, I get it, I'm not offended. It's just a bit scary, makes it feel bad updating things.

Take your time Chris to process the events with Em. Your relationship is the most important thing updates here can wait

[BallSpanking]

Frankly, Chris, there is nobody on this forum that has a better sense of your relationship with Emily than you.
From your relatively few posts, I very much doubt the 'expert' advice received here by outsiders who only have their hunch and kinks to go on, and some of the conclusions they have come up with such certainty. I sure as hell don't have that certainty, and I don't think anyone else can either, based on the posts you have made.
Trust your own instincts, whatever your gut is telling you, and have some open and sincere discussions with Emily as to where she wants this to go. Bear in mind this is all new to her as well, and she may not know, or be unclear as to how her dynamic with David will go. The most important thing, in my opinion is that you and Emily are on the same page as to your relationship, its standing, solidity, and purpose. If her priority is not centered there, and gravitating toward a life with David, then yes, that should concern you. But if the two of you are strong in your trust and love for one another, the affair with David could turn out to be a passing, albeit intense infatuation.
I think it is important for you to have a sense of Emily's intentions vis-a-vis the two of you, whether she continues to yearn for a future with the two of you as a couple, be it husband and wife, or even a lifetime partnership (however the two of you define that).
Once you have that clarity, and hopefully your mutual commitment will be undiminished, you will likely have a better sense of what you can trust, and what you should be wary of.
Given that you really have not updated your thread with other events or information, I would take all advice here with a grain of salt, including my own. You of all people would best know what the lay of the land is truly like, not a stranger on a forum that opines with their own kinky perspectives.
Please keep us posted if you can, it would be lovely if this settles down into something manageable and not wreck your life/lives.
Cheers, mate.

[venus-can99]

Very well put BallSpanking.

[54321]

Hear hear!

54321

[sandy691196]

Hear hear!

54321

[slenderfish]

Chris, you have here on this board an audience participation model. Some will cheer you, some will warn you, some will go overboard, some will just read and not provide feedback.

I'll just say that you have to expect a wide variety and just ride it out.

I've been on here a good while and noticed that most of the commenters have a certain "bent" in advance. We even have descriptions for all of us/them; Cheerleaders, Naysayers, etc. They are generally consistent and are essentially spilling their experiences and desires into your string of posts. I advise you to just approach this board as a chance to glean insight where you find it, and then just ignore all that doesn't work for you. That's what I do.

The writing itself is cathartic and a release, an outlet. Just for those reasons alone, it's worth the trouble, because you will otherwise have this unspent energy and uncertainty that will either stay bottled up or come out sideways with Emily.

This desire, once you take it out of fantasy into real life, is going to be a roller coaster. That's a primary driver, when you really get down to it. So you have to be plucky and ride the ups and downs, both with Emily and on this board. It comes with the territory, so why not just get used to it and keep playing here and also in real life?

It'll make you a better partner to Emily.

[slenderfish]

Hear hear!

54321

Guys, it's still the "morning after" and Emily is now into the NRE and also coming to grips with herself and then also with what is now a changing/changed relationship with Chris, while the NRE is buring hot and the uncertainty is even more intense. Impossible to project any kind of direction/trend/ending at this point. Let's just encourage Chris to continue to be patient and to be there for Emily and also to find a way to remain involved and connected with her and the experience.

[David52]

Chris. I am very sorry at how you have been offended by comments here. I would like to add something to the insightful comments of Ballspanking and Slenderfish. So many of the stories here follow a familiar pattern. It is rare to see, in real time, such an authentic narrative as you have given us. I would urge you to continue when you can to help those starting or planning to really understand how this will not simply enact a fantasy.

[US31]

Chris, count me in as one of the cheerleaders
Enjoy your beautiful Emily. Don’t let the naysayers rule the day.
I think I know how you feel about her feelings
Just enjoy

[Midnight Joker]

How'd the weekend go, Chris?

[Beginner_Chris]

Still here, everyone. Decided not to run away like a kid, basically. So things have moved on a bit but probably not as much as people might be thinking or hoping, and it's definitely not all collapsed like some people were worried.

Just a brief update, I need to find time and focus to write it all out properly. Yes though, Emily and David are still 'together'.

[elina]

Thank you Chris,

It is very understandable that this experience caused you to need a time-out.
I am looking forward to reading your thoughts and experiences when you find the time and focus to write it down.

Remember, you don't need to do it all in one post, I think it might be better for both you and us following with smaller posts gradually describing what happened.

Sincerely
elina

[Kate88]

Hi Chris I read through a couple posts. My impression is that David is a busy man. Have you considered calling him to say thank you, and to ask him to make more time for Emily?