Hello!
I’m glad to be on ourhotwives. I have a truly gorgeous 31yo wife and we live in SFL. I’m not completely sure how to start or move this forward and also how it has been for couples in the lifestyle, so I would welcome and appreciate any suggestions. We once lightly discussed this area when we were getting into Femdom (haven’t done that recently and recently had another child) and discussed cuckolding where she said she can understand how it would be interesting, but it’s not for her.
Thanks!
Considering if I should and how to discuss this with my gorgeous wife
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SFLsexywife
- Prepubescent
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Treat yourself girl
- Experienced
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Re: Considering if I should and how to discuss this with my gorgeous wife
Next time you fuck her, at the point she gets really into it, ask her if her boyfriend fucks her better than you do. Hopefully her response gives you fuel to pour on that fire. Then every time you fuck develop the fantasy and keep watering that seed.
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BallSpanking
- OHW Addict
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Re: Considering if I should and how to discuss this with my gorgeous wife
One fairly organic way to start is to start talking about fantasies, hers and yours.
She may deny having any, but that is likely just a self protection mechanism.
Often men have a fantasy of a threesome, which freaks the hell out of them, because they think the husband is out to get laid.
That frequently gets their panties in a bunch, until you mention it is NOT an FMF, but an MFM.
Then, see their attitude change. Immediately.
Sometimes there is acceptance to discus the topic, or there can be interest, or, if you hit the nail on the head, there can be a
headlong rush into it. Once you get her talking about these things, it may take a little while for her to fully accept the thought,
but if they begin to bring it up, you'll know they are interested. Don't push, that will make her suspicious, but play along, and offer
creative solutions of scenarios, so she slowly becomes aware, and is buying into it.
She may deny having any, but that is likely just a self protection mechanism.
Often men have a fantasy of a threesome, which freaks the hell out of them, because they think the husband is out to get laid.
That frequently gets their panties in a bunch, until you mention it is NOT an FMF, but an MFM.
Then, see their attitude change. Immediately.
Sometimes there is acceptance to discus the topic, or there can be interest, or, if you hit the nail on the head, there can be a
headlong rush into it. Once you get her talking about these things, it may take a little while for her to fully accept the thought,
but if they begin to bring it up, you'll know they are interested. Don't push, that will make her suspicious, but play along, and offer
creative solutions of scenarios, so she slowly becomes aware, and is buying into it.
Schwiiiiing ... Thud! (Projectile erection becomes vicious uppercut KO!)
Re: Considering if I should and how to discuss this with my gorgeous wife
A number of guys use the dream scenario. Tell her you had a dream last night where she was fucking another guy with you watching, or a threesome with another guy or you gave her a hall pass to fuck anyone she wanted and she came home and told you. Tell her you woke up with a hard on. Tell her how you liked the dream or something that works for you.
Re: Considering if I should and how to discuss this with my gorgeous wife
Watch porn together and ask about her ex lovers.
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bbarnsworth
- Experienced
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- Joined: Wed Mar 27, 2024 4:18 pm
Re: Considering if I should and how to discuss this with my gorgeous wife
I've always been an advocate for true open honest with your spouse. Shiphead's suggestion is fine, and probably works for some people. For me, it is something I would never try. I want to be completely 100% open with my wife, and she with me.
SFLsexywife, it's very important to have 100% open communication with each other. It can be difficult to achieve that. It seems a simple thing, but it isn't. It's easy to make jokes about something a spouse said, but those little jokes can close off a person's desire to open more about their innermost thoughts. It's not even that they know what those thoughts are. It's that having a safe, welcoming environment to truly discuss can start to develop an ability for a person to understand themselves better and then express it to their spouse.
To your question of how it has been for couples; well, most of people for who this didn't go well are no longer on this forum. Thus, you're getting a tilted perspective
It can and does go well for many couples. There are those for whom it goes very poorly, even to the point of destroying a relationship. I've seen this first hand with a couple we once started to get to know. They were beginners, and once they had their first play date with another couple (not us), she took off, leaving her husband behind. I've seen other couples online where it has gone poorly. Don't jump into this in a rush. This is a journey, not a race. Take the journey together. Be open, honest, accepting, comforting, and develop this together. Don't pressure.
You mentioned that cuckolding is not for her; I guess that depends on what her definition of cuckolding is? Often the term includes humiliation for the husband, or denial of sexual services for the husband, etc. For my wife and I, it's never been like that. She's had sex with many men, but I've always loved it, never humiliated, and she's always been wanting sex in all forms with me too. Maybe your wife would like the idea of getting to have sex with other men while you're NOT humiliated, and NOT rejected. I don't know.
SFLsexywife, it's very important to have 100% open communication with each other. It can be difficult to achieve that. It seems a simple thing, but it isn't. It's easy to make jokes about something a spouse said, but those little jokes can close off a person's desire to open more about their innermost thoughts. It's not even that they know what those thoughts are. It's that having a safe, welcoming environment to truly discuss can start to develop an ability for a person to understand themselves better and then express it to their spouse.
To your question of how it has been for couples; well, most of people for who this didn't go well are no longer on this forum. Thus, you're getting a tilted perspective
It can and does go well for many couples. There are those for whom it goes very poorly, even to the point of destroying a relationship. I've seen this first hand with a couple we once started to get to know. They were beginners, and once they had their first play date with another couple (not us), she took off, leaving her husband behind. I've seen other couples online where it has gone poorly. Don't jump into this in a rush. This is a journey, not a race. Take the journey together. Be open, honest, accepting, comforting, and develop this together. Don't pressure. You mentioned that cuckolding is not for her; I guess that depends on what her definition of cuckolding is? Often the term includes humiliation for the husband, or denial of sexual services for the husband, etc. For my wife and I, it's never been like that. She's had sex with many men, but I've always loved it, never humiliated, and she's always been wanting sex in all forms with me too. Maybe your wife would like the idea of getting to have sex with other men while you're NOT humiliated, and NOT rejected. I don't know.