Resolving her concerns?

[UKDan]

Hi guys, my wife and I had some fun with the Hotwife ‘fantasy’ a couple of years ago. It really was a lot of fun but she was always a ‘it will not happen for real’. We enjoyed it in the bedroom, and she even got to the point of pointing out guys she liked on tipsy nights out For some reason, she cooled on the fantasy and I never really ‘stoked the fire’.
I’ve started to reintroduce my fantasy very gently and want to do it right this time and get as far as we can. (Even if that is just fantasising between the two of us).
Therefore, my question to you guys is - what are some good answers to the inevitable questions that are going to be fired at me?? Why do we need this? Am I not enough? Do you want an affair? Etc.
I want nothing more than her, she’s amazing, beautiful, and seriously sexy! We have way more ‘fun’ than anyone I know, and I may be being greedy, but I’d really like to explore this fantasy some more. It’s highly addictive

[SheLikesWhenIWatch]

Hi guys, my wife and I had some fun with the Hotwife ‘fantasy’ a couple of years ago. It really was a lot of fun but she was always a ‘it will not happen for real’. We enjoyed it in the bedroom, and she even got to the point of pointing out guys she liked on tipsy nights out For some reason, she cooled on the fantasy and I never really ‘stoked the fire’.
I’ve started to reintroduce my fantasy very gently and want to do it right this time and get as far as we can. (Even if that is just fantasising between the two of us).
Therefore, my question to you guys is - what are some good answers to the inevitable questions that are going to be fired at me?? Why do we need this? Am I not enough? Do you want an affair? Etc.
I want nothing more than her, she’s amazing, beautiful, and seriously sexy! We have way more ‘fun’ than anyone I know, and I may be being greedy, but I’d really like to explore this fantasy some more. It’s highly addictive

You sound like you’re coming to this lifestyle much the same way my wife and I did.

We fantasized. We came together. My softening dick would slide out of her, and she’d say, “It’s just a fantasy. It’ll never really happen,” and my dick would go from softening to completely limp in one second.

I was hoping it would happen fo soooooooo long.

So…..sometimes (and eventually often) I started asking her to imagine specific guys we know when she imagined them fucking her. She was tepid with a lot of guys, but there were two or three where she seemed to get wetter than usual during our fantasy-driven sessions.

Eventually, she settled on this one co-worker who was, quite frankly, the best “candidate” out of all of the guys we role-played. He became the subject of our fantasy. Single. Older. Owns his own home. No kids. Never been married. Well-built (not perfect, but not bad at all). Before long, it was clear by how sopping wet she’d become during our sessions that she wanted him inside her in the worst way. (Add to this a little workplace flirtiness here and there. She LOVED imagining him bending her over and fucking her silly. But still, almost like it was habit, she’d end EVERY session with, “It’s just a fantasy. It’ll never really happen.” (It used to drive me nuts!)

I encouraged her to flirt with him at work. She never had the guts to go one step further and take the flirtation to a slightly higher level…a touch…a suggestion that they should get together outside of work….nothing. It went on like this for months. I was going crazy. Her sopping pussy “told” me she wanted it. I, of course, wanted it. And I was almost positive that he’d LOVE to “bag the hot chick at work.”

I took a bold step, and I admittedly deserve some criticism for it.

As we all know on this forum, it MUST be the hotwife’s choice to enter this lifestyle. Anything else is a fraud upon the lifestyle. In a female-led relationship, SHE must ultimately lead.

I managed to approach him privately (We sort of knew each other from company functions) and tell him that she was hot for him and I didn’t mind it one bit. I told him that, should anything happen in the future, he’d get a green light from me, and that EVERYTHING needed to remain extremely discreet.

I think he was delightfully surprised and knew he’d make a move in due time. He agreed that discretion should prevail should anything happen.

For my wife’s part, being seduced by him was the thing that turned her on most. She wanted HIM to take the lead. That was the part of the fantasy that she loved…another man taking control, holding her down and eventually fucking her lights out. She enjoyed the taboo of being a faithfully married woman who would be compelled by sheer carnal desire to open her legs for a man who was, by all means, stronger than her husband…more forthright…older, more experienced…a man who knows what he wants and takes it when he’s given the chance.

Several weeks later, he did exactly that…..fucked her lights out.

SHE LOVED IT! Called me IMMEDIATELY after it happened to tell me she just got thoroughly fucked and that it was the best sex she had ever experienced. (TBH, that hurt a little, but it was to be expected.) Indeed, he had taken TOTAL control of her that afternoon…Gave her what she was craving!

Coincidentally, as soon as I hung up with her, he called me to say he’d just had sex with her…..and that he imagined this would be happening much more often. (That was the first time I felt “cucked.” He wasn’t saying it to humiliate me. He was simply saying that they’d had a good time and that he’d probably be enjoying her more often in the future.). He wanted to let me know sort of out of a mutual respect.

The rest is history. They were together for 16 years. They absolutely loved fucking, and I was eventually invited in to watch. (And that’s when she discovered she liked having me watch her getting completely layed. He, in turn, discovered that he rather enjoyed fucking a married woman directly in front of her husband…me jerking off while he showed me how to satisfy the woman I’m married to!)

To be completely honest, here…..we sat her down about three months after they started their fantastic affair and told her that we had spoken PRIOR to his seducing her.

By that time, she didn’t care one bit. She just shrugged it off and hopped on his dick for another great ride. She was having the time of her life. She LOVED fucking him. (And he LOVED fucking her.)

I deserve criticism, I guess, for having taken the lead by talking to him, but we look back, now, and consider it a fairly inconsequential moment in the bigger picture.

[SensualDeviant]

I think it's a potential concern when you say it's highly addictive. Maybe you meant that figuratively, but usually when someone is addicted to something they're never satisfied and always want more.

If your wife is willing to indulge in sexy talk or watching hotwife porn with you, she might not want to go any further. If she senses that you will always want more than that, it will probably have a negative impact on your relationship.

Make her more important than the fantasy.

[UKDan]

Hi guys, my wife and I had some fun with the Hotwife ‘fantasy’ a couple of years ago. It really was a lot of fun but she was always a ‘it will not happen for real’. We enjoyed it in the bedroom, and she even got to the point of pointing out guys she liked on tipsy nights out For some reason, she cooled on the fantasy and I never really ‘stoked the fire’.
I’ve started to reintroduce my fantasy very gently and want to do it right this time and get as far as we can. (Even if that is just fantasising between the two of us).
Therefore, my question to you guys is - what are some good answers to the inevitable questions that are going to be fired at me?? Why do we need this? Am I not enough? Do you want an affair? Etc.
I want nothing more than her, she’s amazing, beautiful, and seriously sexy! We have way more ‘fun’ than anyone I know, and I may be being greedy, but I’d really like to explore this fantasy some more. It’s highly addictive

You sound like you’re coming to this lifestyle much the same way my wife and I did.

We fantasized. We came together. My softening dick would slide out of her, and she’d say, “It’s just a fantasy. It’ll never really happen,” and my dick would go from softening to completely limp in one second.

I was hoping it would happen fo soooooooo long.

So…..sometimes (and eventually often) I started asking her to imagine specific guys we know when she imagined them fucking her. She was tepid with a lot of guys, but there were two or three where she seemed to get wetter than usual during our fantasy-driven sessions.

Eventually, she settled on this one co-worker who was, quite frankly, the best “candidate” out of all of the guys we role-played. He became the subject of our fantasy. Single. Older. Owns his own home. No kids. Never been married. Well-built (not perfect, but not bad at all). Before long, it was clear by how sopping wet she’d become during our sessions that she wanted him inside her in the worst way. (Add to this a little workplace flirtiness here and there. She LOVED imagining him bending her over and fucking her silly. But still, almost like it was habit, she’d end EVERY session with, “It’s just a fantasy. It’ll never really happen.” (It used to drive me nuts!)

I encouraged her to flirt with him at work. She never had the guts to go one step further and take the flirtation to a slightly higher level…a touch…a suggestion that they should get together outside of work….nothing. It went on like this for months. I was going crazy. Her sopping pussy “told” me she wanted it. I, of course, wanted it. And I was almost positive that he’d LOVE to “bag the hot chick at work.”

I took a bold step, and I admittedly deserve some criticism for it.

As we all know on this forum, it MUST be the hotwife’s choice to enter this lifestyle. Anything else is a fraud upon the lifestyle. In a female-led relationship, SHE must ultimately lead.

I managed to approach him privately (We sort of knew each other from company functions) and tell him that she was hot for him and I didn’t mind it one bit. I told him that, should anything happen in the future, he’d get a green light from me, and that EVERYTHING needed to remain extremely discreet.

I think he was delightfully surprised and knew he’d make a move in due time. He agreed that discretion should prevail should anything happen.

For my wife’s part, being seduced by him was the thing that turned her on most. She wanted HIM to take the lead. That was the part of the fantasy that she loved…another man taking control, holding her down and eventually fucking her lights out. She enjoyed the taboo of being a faithfully married woman who would be compelled by sheer carnal desire to open her legs for a man who was, by all means, stronger than her husband…more forthright…older, more experienced…a man who knows what he wants and takes it when he’s given the chance.

Several weeks later, he did exactly that…..fucked her lights out.

SHE LOVED IT! Called me IMMEDIATELY after it happened to tell me she just got thoroughly fucked and that it was the best sex she had ever experienced. (TBH, that hurt a little, but it was to be expected.) Indeed, he had taken TOTAL control of her that afternoon…Gave her what she was craving!

Coincidentally, as soon as I hung up with her, he called me to say he’d just had sex with her…..and that he imagined this would be happening much more often. (That was the first time I felt “cucked.” He wasn’t saying it to humiliate me. He was simply saying that they’d had a good time and that he’d probably be enjoying her more often in the future.). He wanted to let me know sort of out of a mutual respect.

The rest is history. They were together for 16 years. They absolutely loved fucking, and I was eventually invited in to watch. (And that’s when she discovered she liked having me watch her getting completely layed. He, in turn, discovered that he rather enjoyed fucking a married woman directly in front of her husband…me jerking off while he showed me how to satisfy the woman I’m married to!)

To be completely honest, here…..we sat her down about three months after they started their fantastic affair and told her that we had spoken PRIOR to his seducing her.

By that time, she didn’t care one bit. She just shrugged it off and hopped on his dick for another great ride. She was having the time of her life. She LOVED fucking him. (And he LOVED fucking her.)

I deserve criticism, I guess, for having taken the lead by talking to him, but we look back, now, and consider it a fairly inconsequential moment in the bigger picture.

Many thanks for the detailed response, it really is appreciated.
That sounds so familiar, we were definitely at the same stage. I guess I just took my foot off the gas a little too much and didn’t keep the embers burning.
Your experience and slow build up sounds perfect (although probably super frustrating at the one!). I’ll definitely take that on board. I think I also need to remember to only introduce the fantasy occasionally, not every night . Thanks again, hopefully we can talk more in the future.

[UKDan]

I think it's a potential concern when you say it's highly addictive. Maybe you meant that figuratively, but usually when someone is addicted to something they're never satisfied and always want more.

If your wife is willing to indulge in sexy talk or watching hotwife porn with you, she might not want to go any further. If she senses that you will always want more than that, it will probably have a negative impact on your relationship.

Make her more important than the fantasy.

Yes, I meant it figuratively, I just meant there’s so much to enjoy and get excited about. She is the most important thing in my life, nothing else comes close. This is just a fun extra.
If it progresses to nothing more than fantasy I’m more than happy with that. I was just seeing how this all worked out (or didn’t) for others interested in the same thing.

[Liveurlife]

I think it's a potential concern when you say it's highly addictive. Maybe you meant that figuratively, but usually when someone is addicted to something they're never satisfied and always want more.

If your wife is willing to indulge in sexy talk or watching hotwife porn with you, she might not want to go any further. If she senses that you will always want more than that, it will probably have a negative impact on your relationship.

Make her more important than the fantasy.

Yes, I meant it figuratively, I just meant there’s so much to enjoy and get excited about. She is the most important thing in my life, nothing else comes close. This is just a fun extra.
If it progresses to nothing more than fantasy I’m more than happy with that. I was just seeing how this all worked out (or didn’t) for others interested in the same thing.

Extra is the key! It’s added to your life, NOT your life! I have to say it’s been a great part of life and couldn’t imagine living any other way but it’s still myself and my wife at home together at the end of the day.

[UKDan]

I think it's a potential concern when you say it's highly addictive. Maybe you meant that figuratively, but usually when someone is addicted to something they're never satisfied and always want more.

If your wife is willing to indulge in sexy talk or watching hotwife porn with you, she might not want to go any further. If she senses that you will always want more than that, it will probably have a negative impact on your relationship.

Make her more important than the fantasy.

Yes, I meant it figuratively, I just meant there’s so much to enjoy and get excited about. She is the most important thing in my life, nothing else comes close. This is just a fun extra.
If it progresses to nothing more than fantasy I’m more than happy with that. I was just seeing how this all worked out (or didn’t) for others interested in the same thing.

Extra is the key! It’s added to your life, NOT your life! I have to say it’s been a great part of life and couldn’t imagine living any other way but it’s still myself and my wife at home together at the end of the day.

Thanks for the reply, couldn’t agree more. Apologies if I put anything else acreoss.

[Liveurlife]

Not at all my friend.

[UKDan]

Not at all my friend.

I do appreciate the advice and chats

[zorro]

“It’s just a fantasy. It’ll never really happen.”

Yah, right. That's what my ex-wife said 6 weeks before she started fucking her lover. It lasted over 6 months before running its course. Our breakup had nothing to do with the HW phase.

This common disavowal is often just reciting the official line women are taught. Not anything I would regard as a permanent vow or long-term prediction.

[SheLikesWhenIWatch]

“It’s just a fantasy. It’ll never really happen.”

Yah, right. That's what my ex-wife said 6 weeks before she started fucking her lover. It lasted over 6 months before running its course. Our breakup had nothing to do with the HW phase.

This common disavowal is often just reciting the official line women are taught. Not anything I would regard as a permanent vow or long-term prediction.

Once she got a taste of it, there was absolutely no turning back. She loved it then. She loves it now, albeit with a new boyfriend who’s spooked by the prospect of having me watch. (She comes home and tells me everything. And frankly, after watching her and bf#1 hundreds of times over their 16 years, I’m actually at ease with getting the play-by-play when she gets home. We’ve pretty much seen/done it all. No need to freak out the new bf!)

But one thing that I want to reiterate for UKDan is what Liveurlife said: At the end of the day, all of this is “in addition to us,” not “instead of us.”

I’m her primary. She’s my one and only since the day we met. She can have as much fun as she wants with her secondary, but at the end of the day it MUST come back to “us.”

[SensualDeviant]

Once she got a taste of it, there was absolutely no turning back. She loved it then. She loves it now, albeit with a new boyfriend who’s spooked by the prospect of having me watch. (She comes home and tells me everything. And frankly, after watching her and bf#1 hundreds of times over their 16 years, I’m actually at ease with getting the play-by-play when she gets home. We’ve pretty much seen/done it all. No need to freak out the new bf!)

But one thing that I want to reiterate for UKDan is what Liveurlife said: At the end of the day, all of this is “in addition to us,” not “instead of us.”

I’m her primary. She’s my one and only since the day we met. She can have as much fun as she wants with her secondary, but at the end of the day it MUST come back to “us.”

Sounds like a long, successful hotwife journey. Congrats, and good advice.

[zorro]

“It’s just a fantasy. It’ll never really happen.”

Yah, right. That's what my ex-wife said 6 weeks before she started fucking her lover. It lasted over 6 months before running its course. Our breakup had nothing to do with the HW phase.

This common disavowal is often just reciting the official line women are taught. Not anything I would regard as a permanent vow or long-term prediction.

Once she got a taste of it, there was absolutely no turning back. She loved it then. She loves it now, albeit with a new boyfriend who’s spooked by the prospect of having me watch. (She comes home and tells me everything. And frankly, after watching her and bf#1 hundreds of times over their 16 years, I’m actually at ease with getting the play-by-play when she gets home. We’ve pretty much seen/done it all. No need to freak out the new bf!)

But one thing that I want to reiterate for UKDan is what Liveurlife said: At the end of the day, all of this is “in addition to us,” not “instead of us.”

I’m her primary. She’s my one and only since the day we met. She can have as much fun as she wants with her secondary, but at the end of the day it MUST come back to “us.”

Absolutely! Repeated encounters is a great way to get past the almost inevitable jealousy and fear so many wannabees and new HW hubbies/BFs feel.
It just becomes joyous, which you describe. It's hard to worry when nothing bad happens over many experiences (and I do envy your and her playIng hundreds of times with one select guy).
Glad to hear you can honor her most recent BF's and her desire to play alone. Although I can enjoy Ruth's having 1-1s, I prefer full participatory play. She also prefers MFMs, very much because she loves all the stimulation and connection that can happen when 2 men pleasure her body at the same time. And our LTR guy prefers MFMs because he likes me and my sexual participation. A win-win-win. Sorry for a mild digression.

SheLikesWhenIWatch, what do you like most from her playtimes?

[SheLikesWhenIWatch]

SheLikesWhenIWatch, what do you like most from her playtimes?

Do you mean emotionally or physically?

Emotionally speaking, I love seeing her satisfied. She has a glow about her. She looks so wonderful.

Physically speaking, ALL of it. I love the details she tells me, the positions they tried, that she swallowed for him, that he went down on her and played with her clit which ultimately made her cum deliriously, what she says he sounded like (i.e., moaning) as he came in her, how she moaned on his cock, all the “naughty” things she whispered into his ear to him to get him there. And then there’s the actual reclamation sex we have. (She has clearly been “used” that evening!) ALL of it.

I don’t think there’s any one physical “thing” that I like most. I just like ALL of it.

And I don’t want to give you the impression that it’s always a perfect reclamation sex experience.

Just like everyone else, we deal with the children making noise downstairs, the dog scratching at the door, the “ding” of a text message on one of our phones. But there have been a few times when the stars aligned and the reclamation sex was perfect. I cherish those memories, of course.

[zorro]

SheLikesWhenIWatch, what do you like most from her playtimes?

Do you mean emotionally or physically?

Emotionally speaking, I love seeing her satisfied. She has a glow about her. She looks so wonderful.

Physically speaking, ALL of it. I love the details she tells me, the positions they tried, that she swallowed for him, that he went down on her and played with her clit which ultimately made her cum deliriously, what she says he sounded like (i.e., moaning) as he came in her, how she moaned on his cock, all the “naughty” things she whispered into his ear to him to get him there. And then there’s the actual reclamation sex we have. (She has clearly been “used” that evening!) ALL of it.

I don’t think there’s any one physical “thing” that I like most. I just like ALL of it.

And I don’t want to give you the impression that it’s always a perfect reclamation sex experience.

Just like everyone else, we deal with the children making noise downstairs, the dog scratching at the door, the “ding” of a text message on one of our phones. But there have been a few times when the stars aligned and the reclamation sex was perfect. I cherish those memories, of course.

Thank you. I love all of it! I like it when she plays 1 on 1 and adore it when we all play together. You are absolutely right: The total experience is staggeringly erotic. Wonderful to be on this Forum with kindred spirits.

[SheLikesWhenIWatch]

Thank you. I love all of it! I like it when she plays 1 on 1 and adore it when we all play together. You are absolutely right: The total experience is staggeringly erotic. Wonderful to be on this Forum with kindred spirits.

On the other hand, having been fortunate to be a watcher/participant with her first boyfriend was, as you say, staggeringly erotic……probably the closest we’ve ever been to “sexual nirvana.”

As I’ve written about many times here, there’s just something very special about sharing the one you love with someone else and getting to watch that sharing experience in real-time. They became rather used to fucking with me standing/sitting next to them jerking off. They both liked the audience, and she especially liked to watch me cum in my cupped hand (or on my chest) before her boyfriend (Anthony) would unload and fill her up.

There were a few times when she wanted all three of us to masturbate together. (That was interesting!)

And yes, there were the many times that she told me NOT to cum because she wanted sloppy seconds. And yes, there were the many times that she wanted me to clean her up.

So……If I had to say which parts of the whole experience are my favorite, it would be the mutual masturbation, the watching and jerking for her as he went balls-deep, the sloppy seconds, the clean up duty.

But with her new boyfriend, I’ve come to feel like my favorite parts of the whole experience with him are the stories, the details. It was a tough transition at first, but I feel like I’ve gotten used to it.

I mean, at some point, a stag has to ask himself, “Do I really need to watch bf#2 do her the way I watched bf#1 do her so many hundreds of times during their 16-year tryst?”

Sure! I’d LOVE to experience it again, but I’d rather she be happy and fulfilled, and if bf#2 isn’t ready to have an audience, so be it.

I can wait! Eventually, it’ll happen.