fantasy vs reality

[two4more]

Greetings,
We have been married for 15 years . She is 41 y old, quite attractive but conservative while I am 10 years older and into open relationships. We had active sex life until about a year ago, as she is rarely satisfied. I have tried to spice up sex life gradually. We have watched porn together and gradually introduced MFM and gangbangs including IR gangbangs which enticed her. while watching Threesome , She said- I want to be fucked like that.- One time she indicated that she loves gangbang porn. I have Introduced a black dildo which she enjoys in bedroom and more often climax while watching IR porn. She has gone commando in Sundress few times and enjoys that. Recently after having sex, I asked her if she is interested in MFM threesome. To my surprise she said : when I feel better about myself ( though she is fit and in excellent shape., excercise daily). Next day she started role play. I commented on a new dress she was wearing- you look gorgeous- , she replied in a teasing way, it is not for you.

My question if this is all fantasy and roleplay or if she is ready. If she is ready what is next step?

[armyguyot1]

Welcome to the forum twoformore. She sounds like a first time sky diver standing at the door trying to get the nerve to jump.

[brutay2]

I think she is ready. Try to suggest a few guys to get an idea about her wishes. Does she lean into inter racial contacts? Mention a few candidates and feel her reaction. Allow her to lead and be very supportive. you are on your way into cuckolding.

[brutay2]

I think she is ready. Try to suggest a few guys to get an idea about her wishes. Does she lean into inter racial contacts? Mention a few candidates and feel her reaction. Allow her to lead and be very supportive. you are on your way into cuckolding.

[kort677]

continue with the role playing and then take it out for a test spin. have her dress up and take her to a bar or social event and turn her loose. see how she reacts when other men show interest in her.

[funfortwo]

My suggestion, with my limited knowledge, is sit down while have a glass of wine without interruptions, and have an open conversation about your feelings. She may ask questions about your relationship and how it will possibly benefit, or not, you both. Take time to listen to her, her concerns and implications about your marriage. If she is open to it, take time for her to adjust to new types of feelings. As you progress, continue to talk about any reservations and how you would work through them. My wife was initially not interested at all, and would only role play on occasionally. Now, after years of work, she has had a steady BF for the past 1.5 years. It can happen, but communication is the key to success. Good Luck!

[hotwifelina]

Hey, I love your post!, in my opinion I suggest maybe have her start dating regularly calling a few of the black guys, interracial that she’s played with because she already knows them and they just have her date on a regular basis maybe once a week go out motels play dinner until she builds a little bit more confidence, and then slowly introduce her to more Black guys, but always constantly having her always play with one or two regular bulls on a regular basis to get her confidence level up this way she will always want to look better to feel better, dress sexy, always making sure she’s taking care of herself and looking good she will build a huge amount of confidence I know for a fact because my gorgeous slutwife Lina did the same and now she’s dating well hung black guys on a weekly basis getting stretched open properly With them cumming inside of her bareback while I’m licking her up all clean and also what is key is constant communication I’am reminding her how beautiful she is and how you love her making her always feel like she’s your queen!! that’s very IMPORTANT!! and you also buying her lingerie,naughty wear for her dates. I’am encouraging her to date more and telling her to bring home a beautiful married fertile pussy/Ass full of hot juicy, sticky gooey black cum! Before you know it, you will be licking her clean on a weekly basis!!!

[two4more]

Welcome to the forum twoformore. She sounds like a first time sky diver standing at the door trying to get the nerve to jump.

So what do you think is the next step. I thought of more Hotwife challenges like more going out commando with or without bra. visiting Male strip club. I would like to see her more enticed and encouraged

[two4more]

I think she is ready. Try to suggest a few guys to get an idea about her wishes. Does she lean into inter racial contacts? Mention a few candidates and feel her reaction. Allow her to lead and be very supportive. you are on your way into cuckolding.

I didn't talk to her yet since last time we metioned a threesome. I was hoping she will restart the subject. in the meantime what else can be done to encourage her

[two4more]

My suggestion, with my limited knowledge, is sit down while have a glass of wine without interruptions, and have an open conversation about your feelings. She may ask questions about your relationship and how it will possibly benefit, or not, you both. Take time to listen to her, her concerns and implications about your marriage. If she is open to it, take time for her to adjust to new types of feelings. As you progress, continue to talk about any reservations and how you would work through them. My wife was initially not interested at all, and would only role play on occasionally. Now, after years of work, she has had a steady BF for the past 1.5 years. It can happen, but communication is the key to success. Good Luck!

Thank you for the reply. My problem is that I don't like to ask her again. I was hoping she will restart the subject or at least give me some indications to help further discussions. I am more comfortable with more Hotwife challenges or attending events that will encourage subject discussion

[two4more]

Welcome to the forum twoformore. She sounds like a first time sky diver standing at the door trying to get the nerve to jump.

She needs a small push to help her sky jump. Apart from opening the subject again, which I am hesitant, Any suggestions

[two4more]

My suggestion, with my limited knowledge, is sit down while have a glass of wine without interruptions, and have an open conversation about your feelings. She may ask questions about your relationship and how it will possibly benefit, or not, you both. Take time to listen to her, her concerns and implications about your marriage. If she is open to it, take time for her to adjust to new types of feelings. As you progress, continue to talk about any reservations and how you would work through them. My wife was initially not interested at all, and would only role play on occasionally. Now, after years of work, she has had a steady BF for the past 1.5 years. It can happen, but communication is the key to success. Good Luck!

Last time we talked, she said when I feel better about myself, suggesting insecurities. I didn't want to open the subject again to avoid being too much pushy. However, I am looking for indirect way so that she can restart the discussion.

[JeffBingham]

Welcome to the forum twoformore. She sounds like a first time sky diver standing at the door trying to get the nerve to jump.

Am I missing something? I don't see an initial post by the "OP".

[two4more]

Welcome to the forum twoformore. She sounds like a first time sky diver standing at the door trying to get the nerve to jump.

Am I missing something? I don't see an initial post by the "OP".

I think I corrected spelling but for whatever reason the post disappeared

[parklife]

I think you’re putting the cart before the horse…. She’s already pointed to the next step, but you’re too busy focusing on her restarting a conversation.

Twice you’ve mentioned she said she could be open to it when she feels better about herself. That’s your key… work on feeling better about herself and only THEN can the discussion move forward.

Simply working out often doesn’t always lead to feeling better about oneself. Feeling better is an inside thing that may but doesn’t have to be correlated to her outside appearance. The two often go hand in hand, but the world is full of tons of people that look great but still have insecurities. You’ve got to address those first (and how you do that is varied and only you really know what makes your other feel better…. And if you don’t know, start paying attention).

Once she feels better about herself, has overcome some insecurities and put herself in a better mind state, the conversations can move forward.

[zorro]

Yes. Ask her what would help her to feel better about herself ... without explicitly linking it to sharing her.

Baby steps. The smaller, the better.

[Parsifal]

Something as simple as blindfolding her for fantasy foreplay and sex with you can facilitate the growth within her of an existential space in which she feels the security of your presence even while she's directly engaged physically with someone else. Once my wife and I made my blindfolding her part of our consistent lovemaking ritual and she was confined to that inner space and banished from the visible world in which I wasn't directly present, but only as a voice over of sorts, it became easier and easier for her, I found, to replace my presence with the mental image of other persons she knew in real life that I might suggest to her in fantasy. The right music and aphrodisiacs also became an essential part of the mood we created for these sessions. It was in one of these that we chose her first hotwifing partner, a neighbor going through a divorce we'd recently befriended.

There was, to be sure, a certain hit or miss aspect to this practice I learned to be patient with. Some fantasy ideas work better than others. Sometimes, the ideas that caught the most traction for her surprised me. This is how you really come to know and love your wife for whom she really is. If the goal is to allow her that distance, she needs to feel secure in your love for all of those guarded inner treasures of which, hitherto, only she's been privy. Strangely, almost paradoxically, our wives are often most apt to granting us access to their inner sanctum when the outer world is shrouded and withheld from them.

[dr_zeus]

Thank you for taking the time to share such wonderful insight, Parsifal.

[two4more]

Something as simple as blindfolding her for fantasy foreplay and sex with you can facilitate the growth within her of an existential space in which she feels the security of your presence even while she's directly engaged physically with someone else. Once my wife and I made my blindfolding her part of our consistent lovemaking ritual and she was confined to that inner space and banished from the visible world in which I wasn't directly present, but only as a voice over of sorts, it became easier and easier for her, I found, to replace my presence with the mental image of other persons she knew in real life that I might suggest to her in fantasy. The right music and aphrodisiacs also became an essential part of the mood we created for these sessions. It was in one of these that we chose her first hotwifing partner, a neighbor going through a divorce we'd recently befriended.

There was, to be sure, a certain hit or miss aspect to this practice I learned to be patient with. Some fantasy ideas work better than others. Sometimes, the ideas that caught the most traction for her surprised me. This is how you really come to know and love your wife for whom she really is. If the goal is to allow her that distance, she needs to feel secure in your love for all of those guarded inner treasures of which, hitherto, only she's been privy. Strangely, almost paradoxically, our wives are often most apt to granting us access to their inner sanctum when the outer world is shrouded and withheld from them.

Thank you for the kind words and for taking the time to share your feedback.