Am I Being Scammed??

[nostringsorworries]

I need some opinions.

We have talked about playing with another guy, or at least I've brought it up and she seems somewhat curious, but mostly I just read online posts and exchange messages with single guys that seem to only be looking for photos, if I had to guess. Either way, they either seem way too intense for beginners, or just faking it for whatever reason. If I find one that doesn't seem too crude or pushy, I'll share it with my wife and we'll fantasize, but that's as far as it's gone.

Recently I heard from a guy that seems different. He hasn't sent photos, explicit or face. More unusual, he hasn't asked for photos either. My instincts tell me he's the real deal, or could be.

He wants to meet in person, but he said he wants to meet me alone first. He says it's as important to click with the husband as the wife, and if that isn't right there's no point in any of it. He says that way I can get a look at him, and vice versa, and if there is a good vibe I can possibly show him a pic of my wife in person. No need to send stuff that could come back to haunt somebody. I completely agree with that.

He wants to meet me for coffee and just to talk further. I'm excited by the thought, but I wonder what the risk might be? Coffee in a public place seems reasonable. I would like to hear his background etc. and we can stay pretty annonymous too, so no risk that I can think of at this stage.

Any thoughts anybody? Should I go?

[bbarnsworth]

Sounds pretty low risk to me. No, I don't think you're being scammed. I definitely agree that a bull needs to click with the husband, unless the husband has no say in the matter and is to be humiliated by his wife (not my cup of tea, but it is for some...to each their own). So, if you're wanting to participate in MFMs with your wife and a bull, or at least be in the same room and get to have the pleasure of watching her being fucked, then yeah he's right; clicking with the bull is important. I've been a bull to a couple, and it would definitely feel awkward if I hadn't clicked with the husband. Getting along with him made things great, and it was a lot of fun.

So, it's a bit unusual...rare rarely...but I wouldn't think there's much risk in meeting him without your wife.

[trecital]

.......but mostly I just read online posts and exchange messages with single guys that seem to only be looking for photos, if I had to guess. Either way, they either seem way too intense for beginners, or just faking it for whatever reason. If I find one that doesn't seem too crude or pushy......

So, the guy who wants to meet up with you, you are concerned might be a scammer. Yet the others, who are "faking it" or "only looking for photos", are not of concern?
With the 'fakes' and 'photo seekers' what would have been your reaction if they had asked for a meet up?

" but I wonder what the risk might be?" There is always some sort of 'risk' when you meet up with a stranger. Just take sensible precautions.....public place, daylight hours, safe part of town, don't take much cash or valuables with you, etc. You never know, the risk might be that he is a thoroughly nice guy.

Be cautious, of course. But be open minded too.
Scammer? How so?
Bear in mind, he will be checking you out as much as you'll be checking him. Maybe he's had enough of guys wanting to share their wife, only to find that the wife doesn't yet know about it, or that the 'wife' doesn't exist, and the guy is looking to suck cock, etc, etc.
If you are worried about a pre-meet, how are you going to be able to handle an actual hook up that includes your wife?

If you are worried about being scammed, even before anything sexual has happened, then I think you might be better keeping things at a fantasy level. What are you going to be like when he lines his cock up at the entrance to your wife's pussy?

[nostringsorworries]

It doesn't seem to be a scam. It was just unusual and there is a little bit of vulnerability to all kinds of things, obviously. At least if you take it past the fantasy aspect.

I did meet him for a quick coffee and it makes more sense now. He's a physician and needs to keep things completely discreet, even the initial contact. No emails that could be come back to haunt and ruin his reputation. He's relatively new here, single, and apparently wants a genuine relationship with a couple. Long term and exclusive if it works, and no problems later on if it doesn't.

He said he did something like this in the past. He wants a real relationship with a woman, but is not looking for a traditional relationship at this point in his career. He doesn't have a lot of time for dating, courting etc, and all the complications that come with it. He says a happily married woman is perfect. Sometimes doing things with both of us or even me (not sex!), sometimes just her (probably sex). And he would like to be able to bring her to holiday parties or social functions just to be seen with a woman, without having to get into all the baggage that comes with tradtitional dating. He's focused on his career for now.

He's quite attractive and fit, and knows how that plays out if he's unattached with people setting him up, or if he says he's not interested, thinking he's gay etc. She would have to play along, although he emphasized that's not likely to be a common thing at all. Just that the holidays are full of things that are almost mandatory from a business perspective.

He read me well and could tell that I wasn't put off and asked to see pics of her, so I showed him some photos I had on my phone. Not sex or nudes, just the regular type and he seemed to really like her appearance. She is quite attractive for her age and can pass for much younger, which is also something he's seeking as well. He said there is a point when women get more sexual once they get past the responsibilities of kids and are more open to just enjoying sex.

He also admitted that he has a big ego and really enjoys "inseminating" a woman with her husband at least nearby if not an observer, depending on her comfort level. He told me that once everybody was comfortable, he really prefers unprotected sex and is looking for a woman whose tubes were tied (she checks that box too) so there can be no unplanned problems, and he would want want a committment amongst all of three of us for exclusivity so we can just relax and enjoy the sex with no fears of any kind and things can just progress organically.

When I was obviously intrigued he said that there are studies that claim that we have evolved to have great sex after another male has orgasmed in our mates, and that that is why the head of the penis is shaped like it is, to attempt to clear out another males semen immediately and substitute our own. It's almost a biological drive. I don't know if they teach that in medical school, but it sounded plausible when he said it and sent a jolt thru me. LOL

He's talking with another couple and looking for the right connection, so it's not a for sure thing, but he said I should think it over and if I was up for it that I should talk with her and see her reaction and then possibly we'd all just meet for dinner or drinks to see if the chemistry is right between them as well. Nothing more for a while, no pressure. He's not willing to share a photo via email, but says he'll understand if she's not attracted to him etc.

So I guess the ball is in my court again. It made me incredibly horny which I suspect was obvious, but it seems like a lot to take on too. On the other hand, I don't think we'd ever do the "stranger" thing and this could be amazing if it works like he said it did in his past. He was clear he's not looking to cause problems for us, ever, and that any of the 3 of us could veto anything that comes along.

[Mumfred]

This guys seems like a real match. He understands what he wants and doesn't want to mess with you relationship with your wife.

[trecital]

Sounds promising. Keep us posted.

[WatchinginNJ]

This is pretty simple.

I play as a single guy occasionally. I do it with lifestyle people, hotwives, and even just fun adventurous women.

My number one goal with any online platform is to move as soon as possible to in person meeting. If I'm meeting with a couple, I move to meet with them. If it's a woman, I try to meet. You get the picture.

The quickest way to filter out flakes, picture hunters, catfish etc. is to get someone with skin in the game. And to me that's a meet.

Now if I were in your shoes? I'd straight up say, "sure, I'll meet, but lets do a 5 minute zoom call, that way there's no expectations."

If he can't meet you in the middle on this? Sounds like a flake to me.

As someone who's met enough husbands, etc. my radar is up on this one. Remember, you set the rules of engagement, dick is free. If you want to meet? Meet, but on your terms.

[bbarnsworth]

nostringsorworries, I agree this does sound very promising. The only thing that slightly sets off warning bells is the potential pressure that there's another couple he's meeting with. That could be interpreted as "you'd better make a decision soon or I'm going with the other couple". But, the rest of what you said doesn't track with that, so I don't think that's the case. It's your read though. Everything else sounds great!

[JR1966]

Ultimately it’s going to be her who decides if she’s attracted to him or not.

Mine found a younger guy who she still is attracted to. She knows what I’d like her to do but she won’t do it with just anyone- has to be some sort of connection which she has with him but not sure him with her. She hasn’t seen him for a long time and still gets giddy when I bring it up. He was her PT guy when she was doing PT. She gave him her number but she didn’t get his. He thinks she wants to kayak with him- which she does but I’m 99 percent sure if it also went another direction she would go there.

So long story short she needs to find someone she’s interested in. Just my non professional opinion.

[nostringsorworries]

The real question for me is will she agree to meet or are we just playing fantasy stuff? Both are good I guess. This situation has a mix of taking it slow, easy exit if necessary, but then it also sounds a little serious as well and I'm not sure how I'd feel if it somehow became more than just playing around for fun. I'm already a little jealous even if it doesn't develop, which is kind of a sweet feeling, but scary too.

[nostringsorworries]

nostringsorworries, I agree this does sound very promising. The only thing that slightly sets off warning bells is the potential pressure that there's another couple he's meeting with. That could be interpreted as "you'd better make a decision soon or I'm going with the other couple". But, the rest of what you said doesn't track with that, so I don't think that's the case. It's your read though. Everything else sounds great!

Good point. It was just a short meeting and I didn't take it as a pressure tactic like salespeople use to hurry you along. It came across more as his own hedging a bit, and to help me relax and take things slowly too. It was more "no pressure/rush" than "you must decide". I do believe there is another couple. I'm not sure why, but it felt a little like a job interview with questions and both sides needing to think about things later. The next step would be to set up a meeting with both of us, but that would be done via email, so I suppose that could have been a nice way of begging off rather than saying "no" to us outright.

[Fapster69]

Why does he want to meet you alone and not you and the missus? It's her that will be doing the fucking afterall?

[bbarnsworth]

Any updates?

[mfm4bnc]

Be careful! It starts out innocent and then all of a sudden you are sucking down a venti mocha frappacino and your lips are covered with whip cream.

[Hungdaddynyc]

As a single meeting couples/hotwives I’ve been asked to speak to the husband and meet first. It worked out well and was just a cup of coffee. I agree that if you don’t get along with someone why even bother? It appears genuine.

This is an interesting tangent to red flags. My perspective is different of course but trying to weigh caution while keeping yourself safe.

[parklife]

… also sounds a little serious as well and I'm not sure how I'd feel if it somehow became more than just playing around for fun. I'm already a little jealous even if it doesn't develop, which is kind of a sweet feeling, but scary too.

At first I was reading along thinking this is the unicorn situation for many hotwife husbands… the wife finding a partner that is unattached and available but not threatening. The kind of relationship I’d love my wife to find. The I ran into this late and instant bels went off.

“Not sure how you feel”, “already a little jealous”.. maybe your just trying to put difficult emotions into words (but you know yourself) but those are trigger phrases to check yourself. It’s an ideal situation for those of us that don’t mind emotions developing between our wives and their ‘others’ and that are truly secure in our place in. The relationship. But if there is doubt or if you’re just looking for that kind of low key sport fucking, this isn’t it.


Need to dig into some soul searching for yourself and your wife to see what you’re interested I and capable of. Not exactly fair to string this guy along either.. he’s been pretty upfront about what he’s looking for…. Bal is in your court if it meshes with you and your wife’s desires.

[Mwstag]

I'm the husband in a ls relationship. We've had quite a few experiences with single men, some with happy endings and some without.
My standard progression is what you describe here. See if he can string a thought together cohesively, and then move on to coffee or beer, without the wife.
This is the meeting where I'll determine if he has odd mannerisms that would put off the wife, or if he seems like a jerk.
This is his opportunity to determine if I seem the type to go into a blind rage when he touches my wife.
This is all standard, and good.