date night logistics

[baltic52]

Wives and Guys,
Here's a question as we settle into the new reality. Since we have young kids, and life is expensive, is it acceptable to have her Bulls come to our house after hours or do most couples require the bull to pay for off-site venues?

[Seekingmore12]

I think it depends, for me I would expect to the first date to be in a hotel, as for who pays the bull should for the first time, if that goes well and you are comfortable then a home would be fine providing of course that you can have privacy and ensure the kids don’t walk in on it.

[trecital]

Wives and Guys,
.....is it acceptable to have her Bulls come to our house after hours or do most couples require the bull to pay for off-site venues?

I don't think you can rely on a representative sample of people here, to answer your question. And besides, their answer is going to depend on their specific circumstances.

If you are comfortable hosting at your place then do that. Yeah, because paying for a hotel is expensive, and not necessarily the best option for everyone involved. As for the bull paying.....depends whether you think you are doing him a favour that he should pay for. What if he thinks he's the one doing you a favour?
There's just no 'correct' answer, except for the one that makes you happy.

[Farmgirl]

Wives and Guys,
Here's a question as we settle into the new reality. Since we have young kids, and life is expensive, is it acceptable to have her Bulls come to our house after hours or do most couples require the bull to pay for off-site venues?

Paying is up to the couple and the third, it can get expensive for some according to income. When we had young kids, my husband took the kids on "adventures", they had time with their dad, and I had free time to play .

[airhorn]

Wives and Guys,
Here's a question as we settle into the new reality. Since we have young kids, and life is expensive, is it acceptable to have her Bulls come to our house after hours or do most couples require the bull to pay for off-site venues?

"Acceptable" is your call, not ours.

We've gone back and forth a bit. Up to the point our first kid started walking, it was okay to have someone at our home. After he got a bit older and could potentially see what was happening, that ended: everything had to happen outside the home. Now that both kids are out (and living in other cities, even) she might be open to having guests again.

We were never really concerned about danger to the kids. If we didn't trust someone enough to have them near our kids, we wouldn't involve them anyway. She was mostly concerned about getting caught, and having to explain (embarrassing!).

Though as Farmgirl says, you could arrange to take the kids out so mom can play. We didn't go that route because my wife wants me to be involved.

[Cdncuck]

Until we were comfortable with a guy, we used a motel. We have a 4 door pickup with a large back seat. Sometimes she would do them there as I drove.

Once we knew they were ok, we would have them to the house. When the kids were younger they were in bed by 8. When they got a bit older I would take them to a movie or the park and then pizza on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon. When the eldest went into grade 5 we stopped having men to the house unless the kids were staying overnight with friends or spending the night at grandma's house.

[gruenberg]

Wives and Guys,
Here's a question as we settle into the new reality. Since we have young kids, and life is expensive, is it acceptable to have her Bulls come to our house after hours or do most couples require the bull to pay for off-site venues?

I just have to say: Enjoy your time as long as your kids are young.

Our pubescent flatmate is now in an age in which it is difficult to hide anything. She would notice if my beautiful wife's hair is destroyed when she would come back. Or if she wouldn't wear her stockings anymore. Just little things you have to be quick to find a smart answer.

[Johnann2227]

We never had my wife's boyfriends over when our kids were young. She always went back to their apartments or hotel rooms which sometimes I paid for and sometimes they would. We kept a real division between her hotwifing and our kids.
This meant I had to step up a lot more so that she had the time to date.

[Shadnaster]

We have young kids and never host at home. We're always worried that they would get up and see something. When we could get a sitter, we'd get a room. We'd tell guy that he would be paying for the room (That would weed out a lot of guys). When he got there, we'd always split the room. Now that we lost our sitter (She had the nerve to get married), she goes out alone. No random guys though. There a couple guys she sees and goes to their place.

[kaskap79]

The Hotwife I see, and I have an agreement that she pays for the hotel, I pay for my travel to her and for the food we eat.
It is about the same amount of money for both of us.

[WatchinginNJ]

I have a long term thing. I go visit her, and she visits me often. Generally when she comes to my place, it's for an evening. When I go to her place, I'll stay over. They have a finished basement, with a hide-a-bed. Her kids are still young, but I'm afraid they are getting more aware.

I'm a family "friend" to them. I play golf with the husband, they come to my house to hang out and use the pool. So I'm well known to everyone.

As they get older and more aware, I'll respect that. Luckily we live close, so it's not hard to sneak a little private time in.

[BrunetteLover]

Once your children are old enough to know, they will know. Forget about hosting at home (we never did, nor ever will) but getting together at a distant venue means nothing as well. They will figure it out and they will remember what they figured out forever.