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by gobuzzgo » Wed Nov 20, 2024 2:12 pm
TL;DR - Once in the past five years. Last PIV: 2 years, 3 months ago
We evolved into a PF relationship slowly. I think having kids and the subsequent kids-in-school/sports/activities/etc. period of our lives eventually contributed to the lack of PIV for us. Our lives revolved so much around family stuff that we lost sight of ourselves as a sexual couple. Eventually, my wife acknowledged that she was having vaginal dryness issues. We are very, very affectionate, but my wife's vaginal dryness has been a challenge for us. She very much loves my touch, but PIV has been off the table for quite some time. Our penultimate PIV experience was over five years ago. Our last PIV experience was two years, three months ago. At that time, neither one of us could believe it had been that long. It was a good experience for both of us, but she continues to suffer from vaginal dryness, so now it's been once in over five years. I guess we're officially a PF couple.
I started leaning into this PF lifestyle when I started getting interested in chastity play. I harbored fantasies about my wife controlling me sexually for a few years, and then right around the start of COVID (coincidental time marker), I purchased a cage off Amazon and tried it out. I wore it for about two to three weeks during the day when I was WFH to see if it was all it was cracked up to be. At the end of this trial period, I let my wife discover that I was wearing it (probably not the best approach, but it did work out well for us), and she was very curious about it, asking all kinds of questions. When I said I would like for her to be my KH, she was game, but it has taken time for her to feel comfortable with this new authority.
I also, at the same time, acknowledged that I wanted to make sure she always is fully sexually satisfied, even if that meant she took lovers outside our relationship. At first, she was unsurprisingly suspicious that I was trying to line up my own lovers, especially given our defacto PF relationship. I assured her I did not want that and, in fact, would be turned on by her enjoying herself sexually with other men. She has grown to understand that she has a permanent hall pass, and what I get out of it is the turn-on of knowing she's been satisfied better than I have been satisfying her. We've always had good sex, when we have it, but as I have said, that rarely happens these days. But I figured that having outside partners could help her reconnect sexually and be a win-win for both of us.
I still want to have sex with her, including PIV. But if she only reserved PIV for her partners, I would be good with that as long as she was fully sexually satisfied and if she shared her experiences with me, either directly or indirectly. To date, she has not exercised her hall pass. We are open and transparent with each other, and I know she would tell me and want to include me (discussions, helping her get ready, possible reclaiming, etc.) if she found a partner. I also know she wants to restart our sexual connections, but for now, that includes her occasionally telling me to lock up so she can tease me.