Understanding Hot Wives and cuckolds

[bradisalpha]

I read a lot of different levels of hot wife/cuckold relationships in the forum. I am more on the Alpha/Dominant side with a couple.. sometimes bordering on BDSM. But that is just me. I realize my thoughts will not apply to everyone but I felt the need to explain some things I read about often.

There are some points you see over and over in this forum that seem to drive the lifestyle… basically sex !! A wife burdened with the pressures of running a home and raising a family has a hard time setting things aside and simply concentrating on sex and her own very deep down desires. Aside from being raised to always be a “good girl”, she also has the pressure of being a perfect wife and mother.. the social pressures of being an upstanding citizen in society.. and the pressures of being a professional woman at work. She does not have the opportunity, freedom, or the outlet to experiment and be a sexual being.. to concentrate on her sexual desires with no rules.. no judgement.. just unbridled, slutty, kinky, SEX.

A wife with a boyfriend has that opportunity and outlet to enjoy her sexuality. She can dress up (sexy/provocative) with him.. she can talk dirty with him.. she can play sex games with him, and she can fuck him.. suck him.. feel him cum deep inside her pussy or down her throat. She can spend the time with him away from all her pressures to unleash and satisfy her sexual dreams. She can be herself with no restrictions. She can do things she has never done, and will never, do with her husband. It is why cheating and hot wifing is so prevalent in our society (hot wifing the preferred to keep families together). That secret time that she can forget the world.. she can enjoy and concentrate on the NRE that comes with a boyfriend… that unleashed, wild, kinky, SEX.

A husband becoming a cuckold relates to relief from these same pressures. You would think that he could sexually satisfy his wife but he cannot set the time aside, away from these pressures, to maintain the same amount of stamina.. kinkiness, and and experimentation to take his wife places that she hasn’t been before !! In fact, a husband that would even suggest the things a wife will do with her boyfriend would be labeled a pervert !! Many husbands also do not have the size to push his wife to the next level of orgasmic satisfaction. In fact, he is actually the measuring standard in stamina and size that his wife is comparing her boyfriend to. She will seek out a boyfriend that raises the bar. A boyfriend that will give her the unrestricted sex she is desiring with no judgement.

Most cuckolds are relieved that they don’t have the pressure of having to perform like her boyfriend does.. to fuck for an hour or more.. to try to reach places inside her that he hasn’t reached before. He is much more satisfied with someone else taking that responsibility and pressure.. leaving him to just watching or hearing about her exciting adventures. He gets as much, if not more, sexual satisfaction when she has a boyfriend. Once he sees the excitement and pleasure his wife is experiencing, he will want to share that excitement with her. He will enjoy her boyfriend the same as she does. He wants to help.. he will shop with her to pick out outfits to please her boyfriend.. talk about things with that she can do with her boyfriend.. he will talk about cock with her (much like a girlfriend would) and look at cocks with her. He will become as excited as she is about cock.. he will want to hold them.. to clean them.. and ultimately to suck them.. all in being part of their enjoyment as a couple in this lifestyle.

Men have a lot of fantasies and experiences early in life that they experience with their first girlfriends cheating on them (which is normal at a young age) and actually feeling excited when they think of her with someone else.. as well as experimenting among themselves with bisexual play. This first exposure to sex prepares them for later in life as they become a cuckold.

I hear many wannabes and newer cuckolds say that his wife isn’t dominant enough to deny him or cage him and make a cuckold out of him.. let alone a sissy cuckold. That is probably true in many cases, but what he doesn't realize is that his wife's dominance will ultimately come from her boyfriend. If her boyfriend says “I am not going to keep fucking you if you are going to keep fucking your husband”, and Boom.. husband is immediately denied !! If her boyfriend says “I don’t want to see your husband’s dickie and him playing with it.. he should be caged”, and Boom.. he is caged !! Don’t underestimate your wife.. she can become dominant in a heartbeat. It will become known and realized that her boyfriend owns her pussy !!!

I hope this starts conversation that relate to many different situations and brings questions and answers helpful for some.

Just my opinions..

Brad

[trecital]

Yeah, quite a good synopsis. I can relate to quite a bit of that.

[silky nylons]

Bravo! Well said!

[isinlarsa]

One of my greatest pleasure about my wife dating was providing her with the freedom to have a break from her role of a wonderful wife and a great mother. It was beautiful to see her return from being with another man and seamlessly slip back into her maternal and marital roles, even though I know she still has the cum from another man oozing out of her married cunt.

[Cdncuck]

A huge oversimplification of an extremely complex subject. There are so many facets to this lifestyle they can't all be lumped together into one box.

[discreetlys husband]

Agree, pretty good analysis but there are many different life situations. As far as the woman compartmentalizing active motherhood, societal expectations for the perfect woman from others, responsibilities of being a wife, etc., yes an outlet to let her hair down and experience new, safe adventures is a welcome addition I would think.

Our situation is that the kids are out of the house, we are empty nesters and I think, though not sure, me giving her safe emotional space to explore and enjoy works too. It is genuine for me to see her enjoy the process and all the great side effects. So I think she trusts me to let the path take its course and we both enjoy the closeness between us.

[canadianwittol]

10 years ago I would have called bullshit on this article as nothing more than fantasy, but I am living proof of what Brad is saying. My wife wasn't naturally dominant, but in time she came to enjoy the humiliation of me which her bull demanded and now she demands it for her own satisfaction.

Brad is further right, completely, that sex with her bulls simply scratches an itch that I can't reach. She is still very much a loving wife and partner, but she enjoys a sex life which is much more fulfilling to her which has nothing to do with me, unless it is because I am invited to watch or asked to participate in some sort of humiliating way.

[sissystlouis]

Nice summary

[bradisalpha]

A huge oversimplification of an extremely complex subject. There are so many facets to this lifestyle they can't all be lumped together into one box.

Yes, it is a simplification of an extremely complex subject. However, it is an overview of basics that, once understood, encourages each individual to expand to their own situations and desires. The room for expansion is unlimited, which makes this lifestyle adaptable to all sexual types and desires.. yet allowing a couple to, at the same time, live as respected, upstanding citizens of our society.

We are not different, as a group, than most human beings that have the same desires inside them but never let them come to the surface and play out. Society’s rules stifle most of these desires and many people go to the grave without experiencing what they have been craving their whole life. What a shame !!

The beauty of this lifestyle is that a couple can both express and enjoy their individual sexual needs TOGETHER.. forming a very close bond as a husband and wife without regrets or wishful thinking becoming a wall between them that separates a lot of couples.

As a BF, (Bull, if you prefer) I am privileged and honored to have met so many great couples in this lifestyle…

Brad

[emca753]

Spot on, although the initial pressures of marriage, bill paying and chid rearing can tire both, the freedom of at least one duty for the husband can initially be relieving and arousing, but can also increase the financial pressures depending on what the wife and her paramour want

[bradisalpha]

Spot on, although the initial pressures of marriage, bill paying and chid rearing can tire both, the freedom of at least one duty for the husband can initially be relieving and arousing, but can also increase the financial pressures depending on what the wife and her paramour want

I would hate to see your wife and her BF add to your financial pressure. This lifestyle is supposed to be about exciting experiences and adventures.. not a burden. As a BF, I appreciate that privilege and take those responsibilities from the couple.. i pay for dinners, rooms, travel, outfits, or anything else that is part of my relationship with a hot wife so as not to interfere financially with their everyday life. I would think that any BF would do the same without even giving it a second thought !!

What are other’s experiences with the financial responsibility ??

Brad

[emca753]

Sonja had a 4 year relationship with the badboy next door when she was 36 and he was 17. Kevin was an Alpha who rode a Suzuki crotcher and Sonja was smitten. Kevin gradually insinuated himself into our family and before you know it I was working OT as a paramedic paying for the upkeep on his crotcher, paying for their tatts, the weekend raves and outings they went on, his university books his beer and cigarettes. If I had to work weekends and they were away I had to pay babysitters; when I chauffered them to dinners and movies I also paid, you get the idea carl

[little sissy Benita]

Don’t underestimate your wife.. she can become dominant in a heartbeat. It will become known and realized that her boyfriend owns her pussy !!!

Be careful, what you want.

I was dom befor we start cuckolding - i don´t allowed my wife to talk with other men without me . not at phone and others.
As we start cuckolding - cuckolding light - slowly all became change. She start meet with other men with phone and she became braver. I was proud of her and i like that she want to meet BBC and it was great that she love it.

The african men was much masculine then me also more enduring - yes also they dicks was bigger - her vagina became full stretched. The african men was also dom - they take her as her wife and i had nothing to say more.

She start to feminizing me, but it doesn´t work - but she read a lot about petticoat discipline and that some wives treat they husbands as little girls and also as babies. She like this and wanted to treat me in the same way.

At first it was funny for me to wear a girls dress or to wear a diaper or to use a pacifier.
As she fall in love and as her african bf move into the house, it became serious - she told me, that she see me not more as her husband, but him and that she see me as her little daughter now. She got help from his family - his mom and sister to regressing me into babyhood - 24/7.

I don´t know why - but i liked to be in this strict regression - also to be complete pussyfree - at first also with a cage, but then they don´t fit me, my willie was allways small, but then my willie became smaller and smaller.
That signs to them that i deserve to be treat in this way and also for me.

Now i am fulltime her little daughter/baby - anti potty trained - eat only from baby bottles - using pacifiers and so on.

I accept also that her new husband inserminate her and make her pregnant. Yes i like to see her with a real mans baby in her belly and of course i show to all how happy i am.

Now i am a total cuckold - and a sissy baby but i am grateful for it

little Benita

[bradisalpha]

Sonja had a 4 year relationship with the badboy next door when she was 36 and he was 17. Kevin was an Alpha who rode a Suzuki crotcher and Sonja was smitten. Kevin gradually insinuated himself into our family and before you know it I was working OT as a paramedic paying for the upkeep on his crotcher, paying for their tatts, the weekend raves and outings they went on, his university books his beer and cigarettes. If I had to work weekends and they were away I had to pay babysitters; when I chauffered them to dinners and movies I also paid, you get the idea carl

emca,

Wow.. yes your wife did become smitten !! And you supported her and, it sounds like, encouraged her to take that relationship the distance.. knowing that he could not afford to handle your wife financially. I believe you forced that situation upon yourself and enjoyed the humiliation and submission that came along with it. It sounds like that was the kind of relationship that deep down inside you were craving.

After the 4 year relationship ended, how did you fulfill your desires.. how did you keep going in that same lifestyle ??

Brad

[emca753]

Hey Brad: After Kevin met someone at Trent U Sonja was depressed and eventually we split, she is actually married to someone 10 years older than she. I entered into a few more cuckold relationships and now my wife is vanilla but accepts my brin being wired differently;
It goes without saying that you are perceptive, I was both jealous of Kevin occupying Sonja's heart, humiliated that he became the man of the house to my kids although Sonja was the boss of their relationship, and very aroused when they were together and when Kevin was at school Sonja confiding to me like a bestie, so you can imagine the arousal level I lived with for 4 years. carl

[subguy80]

Most cuckolds are relieved that they don’t have the pressure of having to perform like her boyfriend does.. to fuck for an hour or more.. to try to reach places inside her that he hasn’t reached before. He is much more satisfied with someone else taking that responsibility and pressure.. leaving him to just watching or hearing about her exciting adventures. He gets as much, if not more, sexual satisfaction when she has a boyfriend. Once he sees the excitement and pleasure his wife is experiencing, he will want to share that excitement with her. He will enjoy her boyfriend the same as she does. He wants to help.. he will shop with her to pick out outfits to please her boyfriend.. talk about things with that she can do with her boyfriend.. he will talk about cock with her (much like a girlfriend would) and look at cocks with her. He will become as excited as she is about cock.. he will want to hold them.. to clean them.. and ultimately to suck them.. all in being part of their enjoyment as a couple in this lifestyle.

I hear many wannabes and newer cuckolds say that his wife isn’t dominant enough to deny him or cage him and make a cuckold out of him.. let alone a sissy cuckold. That is probably true in many cases, but what he doesn't realize is that his wife's dominance will ultimately come from her boyfriend. If her boyfriend says “I am not going to keep fucking you if you are going to keep fucking your husband”, and Boom.. husband is immediately denied !! If her boyfriend says “I don’t want to see your husband’s dickie and him playing with it.. he should be caged”, and Boom.. he is caged !! Don’t underestimate your wife.. she can become dominant in a heartbeat. It will become known and realized that her boyfriend owns her pussy !!!

I hope this starts conversation that relate to many different situations and brings questions and answers helpful for some.

Just my opinions..

Brad

I’d like to complement Brad and other BFs like him who have this approach. There are variations of how the cuckold LS plays out, of course. But, for those of us who appreciate (and need) the strong alpha BF approach, the BF who enjoys “training” and leading the wife and husband down a path, Brad’s comments and insights have always been right on target.

For example, several years ago, my wife told me she wanted to give the gift of pussy exclusivity to her lover (Aaron, and now her co-husband). I remember thinking “OK, pussy free for a month or so, that could be interesting, maybe fun. I could tell it was important to her. I loved that she was taking a stronger role as a hotwife and I wanted to encourage her to do more.

Shortly thereafter, she brought up the idea of a chastity cage. Again, I agreed and to be honest the cage was very erotic. I liked the cage. I still do, except for the fact that I can’t get off when I’m caged. I used to beat off when I would watch her fuck her boyfriends. That changed when she started caging me while I watched.

Then, finally, the watching, itself, was limited. I would be invited to watch on occasion but the norm was (and still is) the two of them fucking alone.

My point in these examples is that I found out it was Aaron who was encouraging my wife and leading her (and us) down this path. Now, if I told my wife that this wasn’t working for me, she would have stopped. It wasn’t all one-sided. But I knew she wanted to please him. Also, I loved the fact she was growing into this naughty cuckold wife with a lover who sent her over the top, sexually. She didn’t want that to stop and neither did I. It turned me on to think that Sarah, my strong and independent wife, was a bit under his sexual spell.

A sexually energized woman is a powerful and beautiful thing to see. As Brad points out, a wife who is experiencing this sexual high from her lover will certainly be inclined to support his suggestions of dominance over the husband if the husband is responding positively, as I was.

On a different but related topic: Brad, did you ever have a hotwife or a cuckold couple who asked you to impregnate the wife? Correct me if I’m wrong, but I believe you prefer to fuck the wife bareback. I’m just curious to know if this isn’t a common result at some point in the evolution of the wife and husband?
Thanks!

[dinoo]

10 years ago I would have called bullshit on this article as nothing more than fantasy, but I am living proof of what Brad is saying. My wife wasn't naturally dominant, but in time she came to enjoy the humiliation of me which her bull demanded and now she demands it for her own satisfaction.

Brad is further right, completely, that sex with her bulls simply scratches an itch that I can't reach. She is still very much a loving wife and partner, but she enjoys a sex life which is much more fulfilling to her which has nothing to do with me, unless it is because I am invited to watch or asked to participate in some sort of humiliating way.

My wife wasn't naturally dominant, but in time she came to enjoy the humiliation of me which her bull demanded and now she demands it for her own satisfaction.

The same for me with exception of the word humiliation. After much discussions, my wife could accept the expression "sexual humiliation" because of what she said "we enjoy it both and therefor it isn't humiliation." F.e. (!!!) as a dominant woman she loved to ride my face furiously for her own satisfaction and we both loved it extremely.

She is still very much a loving wife and partner, but she enjoys a sex life which is much more fulfilling to her which has nothing to do with me.

Here I can agree wholeheartedly. I continued to be her number one.
The more she enjoyed being a HW (read cuckoldress), the stronger our relationship became. Countless times she told me she got terribly aroused when I had the role of watcher.

[Butler]

Very interesting thread, bouncing back to the top!

[carolinacuck]

Very interesting post by Brad. I can relate to most of what he wrote, particularly the one about taking the pressure off the cuck husband to perform. Having better endowed males help out with her pleasure has had a tremendously positive impact on our marriage.

[WatchinginNJ]

A huge oversimplification of an extremely complex subject. There are so many facets to this lifestyle they can't all be lumped together into one box.

I firmly believe the cuckolding and wife sharing (stag vixen type) are completely different sexual proclivities that happen to have a similar execution.

But when all you hold is a hammer, everything is a nail. I also find that men from the cuckolding perspective always look at it from the cuck perspective, moreso than any other version of it.

[subguy80]

Going to bump this up. I feel like there is more that can be discussed here.

[happyfam71]

Great post, Brad. I'm a little late to the game, but it's nice to push this to the top again. This has got me thinking deeper about my attraction to the cuckold position, and should spur some more conversations with my wife. Keep up the good work.

[sgcuckcouple]

I can definitely relate to a lot of the points you raised. Just to add a little more personal color to some of the points brought up:

> Aside from being raised to always be a “good girl”, she also has the pressure of being a perfect wife and mother.

We both came from religious families and this lifestyle has been an incredible outlet.

> A husband becoming a cuckold relates to relief from these same pressures. You would think that he could sexually satisfy his wife but he cannot set the time aside, away from these pressures, to maintain the same amount of stamina.. kinkiness, and and experimentation to take his wife places that she hasn’t been before !

It allows us to specifically set aside time for our bull and not be lazy about it. It's a couples activity for us that just allows us to take a break from our everyday normal lives and transform into something totally different.

[D+D]

I think as a cuckold, I get my happiness from her being with other men and she gets her happiness from being with other men and we both get happiness in our vanilla lives just being together as best friends and soul mates. Our lives have never been better. Everything is out in the open between us. We talk about her dates and her male lovers. I accept that she has a relationship with them, not just sex and I agreed long ago to always remain monogamous and true to her. Brad referred to some cuckolds being relieved that they do not have to perform like their wife’s boyfriend does. That’s me. I’m older and not as able to give her that hard driving sex anymore but younger men can and do. That turns me on as well as makes her happy. It’s an awesome dynamic. I’ve also become more and more submissive and bi readily accepting my place as the cuckold if called up to service a male friend of hers or to clean him and her both after he’s creampied her. More often though I’m not included and thats just fine too. She never showers or cleans up before coming home so I can taste him and smell his scent on her body.

[sherulestherooster]

There are some points you see over and over in this forum that seem to drive the lifestyle… basically sex !! A wife burdened with the pressures of running a home and raising a family has a hard time setting things aside and simply concentrating on sex and her own very deep down desires. Aside from being raised to always be a “good girl”, she also has the pressure of being a perfect wife and mother.. the social pressures of being an upstanding citizen in society.. and the pressures of being a professional woman at work. She does not have the opportunity, freedom, or the outlet to experiment and be a sexual being.. to concentrate on her sexual desires with no rules.. no judgement.. just unbridled, slutty, kinky, SEX.

A wife with a boyfriend has that opportunity and outlet to enjoy her sexuality. She can dress up (sexy/provocative) with him.. she can talk dirty with him.. she can play sex games with him, and she can fuck him.. suck him.. feel him cum deep inside her pussy or down her throat. She can spend the time with him away from all her pressures to unleash and satisfy her sexual dreams. She can be herself with no restrictions. She can do things she has never done, and will never, do with her husband. It is why cheating and hot wifing is so prevalent in our society (hot wifing the preferred to keep families together). That secret time that she can forget the world.. she can enjoy and concentrate on the NRE that comes with a boyfriend… that unleashed, wild, kinky, SEX.

This resonated with my own experience as a cuckold hubby. Sex with me was at the end of a long workday and home life. When she had sex with her bull, it was typically right after work when she was much more refreshed and really anticipating sex for her pleasure. It was like a “spa day” for her, an escape from being a mom and wife and simply enjoy the sexual connection and orgasms in a relaxed environment. The NRE is a real thing as well. Really the bull has a lot of advantages over the hubby in terms of being able to delight the wife. We humans love novelty and I think women in particular love feeling pursued. As the hubby, telling her she was pretty and sexy means a bit less to a wife (my opinion) than a bull because husbands are “supposed” to say those things whereas a bull pursues her and is there BECAUSE she is sexy and pretty. My wife got lots of confidence and ego boosts from all the men that were pursuing her for no strings attached sex. It really “validated” her (and me!) that she was a sexually desirable MILF.