I’ve learned over time that these things never go the way you imagine at the start. Somewhat embarrassed that I had this fantasy in the first place, while I wanted my wife to have sex with other men, I didn’t necessarily want the guys to know that it turned me on i.e. that I wanted to be a cuckold in the traditional sense. Especially if it was someone who I knew.
When my wife finally acted on it, it was with a guy that I did not know. She told him I encouraged her to do it. I really didn’t care as it was a one time thing and I have never met him and likely ever will.
Shortly thereafter however she pursued a relationship with someone I did know and would see socially from time to time. She shared with him that I was ok with it as long as she told me after the fact. They never actually hooked up, but when I found out she told him I was ok with it, I got upset as the guy would now see me as a cuck. In her defense she offered that she didn’t want to be viewed as a cheater and in certain circumstances it would open more possibilities for her to fuck guys that had a moral code of not fucking someone’s wife (without permission that is). Ultimately I knew she was right and although she is not active in the lifestyle, she is now free to tell them ANYTHING that would facilitate it happening again.
My thoughts though are the hotwife thing is difficult for some to grasp. Isn’t it just easier for the wife to say she is in an “open” marriage. At least at the outset. Most guys are more familiar with that concept. Besides, why should her potential lover care if you are fucking another woman or not. If it turns out to be a long term gig, or if you’re involved in the fucking, or want it to go deeper cuckold, then sure, at that point you can educate him on the concept.
I’ve told my wife if a man she has any interest in asks if she is married, her response should simply be, “yes, but my husband is very open minded!”
. She doesn't use "stag", but rather hotwife husband, and explains how it works.