Revisiting the subject

[VwatchesK92]

Hi Y’all!

I’d like to post something here and maybe it could be AC ongoing thread. I’m in need of some advice from fellow wanna be’s. I’ll just start here and fill in the blanks later as questions arise!

I’m V, she is K. We are in our early 30’s and recently relocated to Tx! We have 2 children (2.5 & 4 months), work full time, and are extremely active. Needless to say, not a lot of “us” time, in fact we don’t even sleep in the same bed lol. More to come on that later, it’s more of a necessity than a choice.

I brought this fantasy up about 5-7 years ago. It was not eloquent, it was not well thought out. If I could even remember how it went, I’d probably be too embarrassed to share. Essentially, in the moment, it didn’t bug her. However, she had concluded that I only want this to have a different woman. Eye for an eye type thing. I remember specifically a big fight where she said she never wants to hear about my disgusting fetish ever again, yikes.

So time went on, houses, engagement, marriage, and finally kids. Our two children are the best. Wouldn’t trade them for the world. They did however, change my wife. For good and for not so good I’ll say. I’ll take time here to back up and describe my wife prior to marriage. 5”7, 125-135 lbs dependent on the season, natural dirty blonde hair but dyed it blonde, small boobs, big butt, small waist. I mean, straight from heaven guys. I saw how she got looks all the time from men who wanted to fuck her and women who wanted to be her.

BY NO MEANS am I saying my wife is somehow less attractive now. Fact is, having kids changes your body and the hormones make it harder for a woman to bounce back. That’s where we are now, 4 months or so postpartum. She’s getting back into her “pre pregnancy” clothes, she’s losing weight, she looks damn good for only 4 months PP. I love having sex with her. My desire is the same, if not more, than it was prior to kids. I will say, funny enough, she was always insecure about her small boobs. Now she has big boobs. Funny how it all works lol. I’m not necessarily a boob guy but, when she’s showing off the cleavage I can’t help but stare.

So fast forward to June 2024, I really sit down with her and explain that I have a fantasy about her being my hot wife. I have no desire to be with another woman. I find her pleasure to be the most erotic aspect of this whole thing. She’s told me stories of her slutty past, when we’ve been broken up and she’s been slutty, I can get into those stories too if there’s interest.

I don’t want to make this an enormous first post, even though it probably is already.

To summarize my most recent progress:
1. She herself ordered books on the subject of hotwife/cuckold dynamic. We have yet to read those together but we don’t have a ton of free time.
2. She saw this guy at the gym who eyed her up, she commented on how tall and muscular he is. We were having sex and she was saying how she was imagining him just picking her up and using her.
3. She challenged me to a friendly weight loss/fitness goal competition. I asked what I’d get if I won? She said “tell me what you want” in so many words I said I’d want her to try a new guy. She thought about it and said “maybe, especially if I lose the weight I want to”

There’s more. I’d love to go into detail, and I will. However, I am in need or looking for some advice.
1. Has anyone experienced doing this when their kid/kids were young? Younger than 5?
2. How have men navigated the postpartum period? Did that put an end to things?
3. My wife is very religious. She views this whole thing as adultery. However, she’s open to talking about it in the bedroom, she occasionally looks a men in the gym, she’s at least considered it. I’m not looking for scripture, I guess I’m looking for some advice on how to navigate the religious shackles of the aspiring hot wife?
4. Last (for now) but not least, my wife is extremely uninterested in talking about this for longer than 5 minutes. Those 5 minutes could be the sexiest 5 minutes of the week, but I’m limited to a few back and forth’s here and there. Has anyone experienced an almost disinterest in sex/intimacy outside of when the opportunity arises for sex? I will circle back and say, this more than likely has a lot to do with the Postpartum. Right?

Anyways, wow. Really appreciate you guys starting here with me. There’s more. There’s always more. If anyone would like more detail I’d be happy to supply. I’ll be giving more updates in the next few days. Maybe giving more background on us too.

V

[athlete915]

Hey V,

Welcome to OHW, and thanks so much for sharing your situation. It was very well-written and descriptive.

I know you were primarily interested in talking to other experienced and wannabe cucks, so I will caveat up front that I'm a single man that enjoys being with wives with their husband's knowledge and support (bull, boyfriend, side piece, whatever lol). I have some relevant experience and wanted to share it with you, so I hope you don't mind the different perspective.

I'll start by addressing your questions:

1. Has anyone experienced doing this when their kid/kids were young? Younger than 5? Several of my couples have had children. While most were older, some were young, like yours. On one hand, trying to play with young kids can be tough because the parents are often exhausted. On the other hand, it can actually be the easiest phase to play. Young kids aren't going to ask a lot of questions or notice changes in behavior, dress, etc.

2. How have men navigated the postpartum period? Did that put an end to things? The most important thing is to recognize that right now, your wife is exhausted, stressed, and doesn't feel her sexiest. While it is easy to tell how badly you want this, remember that she has more immediate concerns. While you can talk about it and encourage her, only do so as part of a holistic approach to helping her recover and catch up on rest. Help her take care of those basic needs first.

Ideally, her recovery may present you with some opportunities for progress. While I am sure she loves being a mom and wife, as she catches up on rest and starts to improve her fitness, there may be part of her that misses feeling like a "woman." Specifically, she may miss feeling wanted and desired, including by men other than yourself. The thrill she got when the guy at the gym checked her out is a perfect example of this.

So, yeah, she needs to focus on her basic needs for now... but as she emerges from this period, you may have some windows of opportunity appear.

3. My wife is very religious. She views this whole thing as adultery. However, she’s open to talking about it in the bedroom, she occasionally looks a men in the gym, she’s at least considered it. I’m not looking for scripture, I guess I’m looking for some advice on how to navigate the religious shackles of the aspiring hot wife?

Well, according to Luke... kidding. This can be a tough one and I'd love to hear how others have addressed the issue, but I think the most important thing to focus on is that she wouldn't be cheating. She would be playing with others with your full knowledge and support, and within the confines of your marriage.


4. Last (for now) but not least, my wife is extremely uninterested in talking about this for longer than 5 minutes. Those 5 minutes could be the sexiest 5 minutes of the week, but I’m limited to a few back and forth’s here and there. Has anyone experienced an almost disinterest in sex/intimacy outside of when the opportunity arises for sex? I will circle back and say, this more than likely has a lot to do with the Postpartum. Right?

Again, she's exhausted and has a million things other than kink exploration on her mind. Absolutely normal, understandable, and to be expected. My recommendation is to take this time to think deeply about exactly what do you want. Yes, you want to be with other men, but there is a TON of nuance beyond that. Everything from which guy(s) you would like her to play with, would you watch (if so, always), how often you would want her to play, where she would play, rules on condoms etc., etc. You also want to put yourself in her shoes and think really hard about what you think she would like.

That internal deliberation will help you understand what you actually want and the details of how you would achieve those desires. When you two finally have five minutes to talk, you will have already considered the topics. You will be eloquent and well-thought-out and will not repeat your past mistakes.

You can also spend those periods of reflection figuring out what you should talk about when the time comes. While spontaneity is a good thing, you still want to have some plan, road map, etc., in the back of your mind to make the most of the time.

Hopefully, you will find that a bit useful. The fact that you two are even talking about it is a win, especially after her initial bad reaction. Don't let your eagerness push you to push her too far, too soon. Focus on helping her recover, and use this time to think about how you move forward. Be ready to move the football downfield when the time and opportunity presents itself.

Good luck and let me know if you have any follow questions or concerns.

[Freddy314]

As far as religion is concerned, my wife is, so she believes it would be a sin. I'm not going to entertain opinions on whether it is or isn't, because she believes what she believes. But one time when we were discussing it, and she said it would be a sin, I asked her if something happened to me, would she wait to be married again before she had sex. She said probably not. I pointed out that she is already admitting she will probably sin in the future. She didn't appreciate me pointing it out, but she couldn't diagree with my point.

[leggysman]

It sounds to me like she's very open-minded in her approach to it. Very promising, I'd say, and I think it bodes well if her libido and interest are in bloom this soon PP.

As athlete915 said, young children are easier to work around, once they get past the stage of needing her 14 hours a day and she gets a bit more balance back in her life. Once the littlest one is weaned and consistently sleeping through the night, you can carry much more of this burden for her, and speed her transition back to being a woman who owns her own body.

My hotwife comes from a very conservative religious background. I'd just say that over time, her libido and my encouragement have combined to lessen the influence of that. I don't think she worries about it any more. When she's horny, she finds the idea of being 'slutty' hot. What a lucky coincidence - so do I Taboo and all that, I suppose. I'm not going to argue.

[VwatchesK92]

As far as religion is concerned, my wife is, so she believes it would be a sin. I'm not going to entertain opinions on whether it is or isn't, because she believes what she believes. But one time when we were discussing it, and she said it would be a sin, I asked her if something happened to me, would she wait to be married again before she had sex. She said probably not. I pointed out that she is already admitting she will probably sin in the future. She didn't appreciate me pointing it out, but she couldn't diagree with my point.

Thank you for that example! It’s funny, I’m a Christian too. I went to church, church camps, mission trips growing up. She didn't! I guess everyone experiences religion different times in life. I’m am almost sure I know the EXACT facial expression your wife made when you asked her about pre marital sex if something were to happen to you. I’ve seen that face 1000 times before lol.

[VwatchesK92]

Hey V,

Welcome to OHW, and thanks so much for sharing your situation. It was very well-written and descriptive.

I know you were primarily interested in talking to other experienced and wannabe cucks, so I will caveat up front that I'm a single man that enjoys being with wives with their husband's knowledge and support (bull, boyfriend, side piece, whatever lol). I have some relevant experience and wanted to share it with you, so I hope you don't mind the different perspective.

I'll start by addressing your questions:

1. Has anyone experienced doing this when their kid/kids were young? Younger than 5? Several of my couples have had children. While most were older, some were young, like yours. On one hand, trying to play with young kids can be tough because the parents are often exhausted. On the other hand, it can actually be the easiest phase to play. Young kids aren't going to ask a lot of questions or notice changes in behavior, dress, etc.

2. How have men navigated the postpartum period? Did that put an end to things? The most important thing is to recognize that right now, your wife is exhausted, stressed, and doesn't feel her sexiest. While it is easy to tell how badly you want this, remember that she has more immediate concerns. While you can talk about it and encourage her, only do so as part of a holistic approach to helping her recover and catch up on rest. Help her take care of those basic needs first.

Ideally, her recovery may present you with some opportunities for progress. While I am sure she loves being a mom and wife, as she catches up on rest and starts to improve her fitness, there may be part of her that misses feeling like a "woman." Specifically, she may miss feeling wanted and desired, including by men other than yourself. The thrill she got when the guy at the gym checked her out is a perfect example of this.

So, yeah, she needs to focus on her basic needs for now... but as she emerges from this period, you may have some windows of opportunity appear.

3. My wife is very religious. She views this whole thing as adultery. However, she’s open to talking about it in the bedroom, she occasionally looks a men in the gym, she’s at least considered it. I’m not looking for scripture, I guess I’m looking for some advice on how to navigate the religious shackles of the aspiring hot wife?

Well, according to Luke... kidding. This can be a tough one and I'd love to hear how others have addressed the issue, but I think the most important thing to focus on is that she wouldn't be cheating. She would be playing with others with your full knowledge and support, and within the confines of your marriage.


4. Last (for now) but not least, my wife is extremely uninterested in talking about this for longer than 5 minutes. Those 5 minutes could be the sexiest 5 minutes of the week, but I’m limited to a few back and forth’s here and there. Has anyone experienced an almost disinterest in sex/intimacy outside of when the opportunity arises for sex? I will circle back and say, this more than likely has a lot to do with the Postpartum. Right?

Again, she's exhausted and has a million things other than kink exploration on her mind. Absolutely normal, understandable, and to be expected. My recommendation is to take this time to think deeply about exactly what do you want. Yes, you want to be with other men, but there is a TON of nuance beyond that. Everything from which guy(s) you would like her to play with, would you watch (if so, always), how often you would want her to play, where she would play, rules on condoms etc., etc. You also want to put yourself in her shoes and think really hard about what you think she would like.

That internal deliberation will help you understand what you actually want and the details of how you would achieve those desires. When you two finally have five minutes to talk, you will have already considered the topics. You will be eloquent and well-thought-out and will not repeat your past mistakes.

You can also spend those periods of reflection figuring out what you should talk about when the time comes. While spontaneity is a good thing, you still want to have some plan, road map, etc., in the back of your mind to make the most of the time.

Hopefully, you will find that a bit useful. The fact that you two are even talking about it is a win, especially after her initial bad reaction. Don't let your eagerness push you to push her too far, too soon. Focus on helping her recover, and use this time to think about how you move forward. Be ready to move the football downfield when the time and opportunity presents itself.

Good luck and let me know if you have any follow questions or concerns.

Thank you! All of what you said makes sense. I did have some eye opening experience today with her. I’ll post it in just a bit. I think things are moving along! Hopefully when I am able to provide more context about her/us things will be easier to understand. I appreciate the compliment on my first real post but I also feel like I was all over the place.

[VwatchesK92]

It sounds to me like she's very open-minded in her approach to it. Very promising, I'd say, and I think it bodes well if her libido and interest are in bloom this soon PP.

As athlete915 said, young children are easier to work around, once they get past the stage of needing her 14 hours a day and she gets a bit more balance back in her life. Once the littlest one is weaned and consistently sleeping through the night, you can carry much more of this burden for her, and speed her transition back to being a woman who owns her own body.

My hotwife comes from a very conservative religious background. I'd just say that over time, her libido and my encouragement have combined to lessen the influence of that. I don't think she worries about it any more. When she's horny, she finds the idea of being 'slutty' hot. What a lucky coincidence - so do I Taboo and all that, I suppose. I'm not going to argue.

1st let me say. I’ve followed a lot of your journey and it feels like I’m talking to a OHW’s Celeb. Can I get an autograph? lol

Anyways. Yes. You and athlete hit the nail on the head with the pros and cons of toddlers/babies vs preteens. Our youngest is a textbook Velcro baby so yeah. It’s not the easiest for her to feel like she owns her own body. I totally get that. Im hopeful that I will get out of the wanna be stage sooner than later, but I’ve been wrong before.

I’m looking forward to following in your footsteps!

[VwatchesK92]

I’d say a big development today.

Like I said in my first post, she’s been very open to talking about it during sex. We were making out and one thing led to another. During sex she said she would fuck someone else. She indicated right before my orgasm that there was a big black guy she eyes up and who eyes her up too. After I came on her stomach and pussy, we kissed and we talked a little afterwards. She was serious. Not getting into details or her excited but she said “like I said, if he approaches me and we connect, I’m doing it” we texted back and forth, I don’t want to spend too much time talking about it, I feel like it’d be pushy. But I sent a very supportive text:

Honestly baby, post nut clarity and all. I only want you to do this if you want to do this. You have my permission. If we ever get to that point where it’s likely to happen, we can go over rules. But you have my blessing and the freedom to do whatever, whenever. I won’t get mad if you come home late. My only ask is that you’re open and honest with me about everything that happens. No pressure, I want it to be fun and I want you to want it. I love you forever.

She said:

I love you too and I know. I’m obv not going to do something deceitful. The point isn’t to hurt you or replace you

I said:

I know you’re not, I think that’s why I’m so excited about you saying yes. I trust you with EVERYTHING. You’ll always make the right decision and make it work.

Just don’t be annoyed with all my questions after it finally happens

She said:

ugh part of me wonders if I should get on BC (birth control)
Me:
What makes you say that?
Her:
I don’t want another man to get me pregnant. Especially bc I want them to Cum inside me

Can she be more perfect???

I’ll admit, her with a BBC is my biggest fantasy but who knew it could be the first???

So many questions run through my mind. Her opinions on things, what her limits are, etc. but I don’t want to push.

I’m excited yet trying to keep my cool.

One thing I’m very tempted to do, is use this toy on her, we have this harness that can make any toy, within reason, a strap on type feel. No I don’t want pegged.
I feel like, if she’s going to get a potentially really big dick, she’s going to need to get used to a size or two bigger than me.. right? Or is that just some olds wives tale?

She’s used the toy in the past. It’s thick and soft. She likes it better than the other toys we’ve used in the past but still has only used it once or twice. Blah.

Thanks for reading!

[leggysman]

1st let me say. I’ve followed a lot of your journey and it feels like I’m talking to a OHW’s Celeb. Can I get an autograph? lol

Ha, thanks Well, a little over 2 years ago I was a new user, posting in the Wannabe forum just like you. It was a long journey leading up to that, but once we both got signed up to OHW, things moved quickly. Do you think you could convince your wife to come and have a look around?

I’m looking forward to following in your footsteps!

I have a feeling you might

[parklife]

I am in need or looking for some advice.
1. Has anyone experienced doing this when their kid/kids were young? Younger than 5?
2. How have men navigated the postpartum period? Did that put an end to things?
3. I guess I’m looking for some advice on how to navigate the religious shackles of the aspiring hot wife?
4. Has anyone experienced an almost disinterest in sex/intimacy outside of when the opportunity arises for sex? I will circle back and say, this more than likely has a lot to do with the Postpartum. Right?

First… I also don’t fit the requested audience for feedback as I’m not a wannabe… well, maybe I am, my wife hasn’t played with anyone in a year and a half, so I’m wanna be get gba into it soon!

But anyway, from someone who has been there, a few answers from my perspective.

1. My wife had her first hot wife experience when our kids were 2 and 4. My daughters are 20 months apart, and while we had discussed and she actually tried moving her n the hot wife direction a bit sooner, it actually happened at those ages. It was perfect. As mentioned, there weren’t a lot of questions, easier to hide things from them and for a while there weren’t any consequences. My kids are now 12 and about to turn 14. She’s played for those 10 years until a little over a year ago. There just so much more work now to keep the same level of discreetness. My girls know mommy has had friendships with other males besides daddy and that she can do dinners, go golfing, etc and it’s not a threat to our marriage. They don’t know the extent of what occurs, but they know people of the opposite sex can hang put and jealousy doesn’t have to rear its ugly head. Enjoy the young times while you can.

2 - postpartum can have massive effects for a while…. Just need to ride with it, take care of her and help where you can. You likely went thru this when your oldest was born as well.. it’s all the tougher now because you have two in diapers and two that need a LOT of attention/focus. It gets better.

3 - I’m not religious and while my wife is a catholic, she’s recreational Catholic at best. Can’t offer much advise aside from the idea that the point isn’t to be sin-less, we all sin from the religious perspective. The point is to recognize and ask forgiveness. Again, I’m not a religious guy, but there are plenty of religious people that express their sexuality in ways outside societal thinking.

4 - My wife loves talking about this stufffin the throes of passion, not so much in the every day real world. She’s always been that way and postpartum had nothing to do with it. The compromise we reached way back before she ever took action was that I could share memes/pics/etc that were Hotwife related via text. Meant she didn’t have to talk about it and most of them she could even ignore but every once in a while there was something that stoked her interest for a comment or conversation. I learned the limits by her outright rejection no of some of the memes and it got us moving forward in a non-threatening and even nonchalant way. Sexy pics, memes of how hot it was being a hotwife, there’s plenty of tame examples that can show my intent and that aren’t so graphic they’re immediately shut down. I used to save memes and had a folder of them in my pictures from tame to wild (for her) and would send them to her every once in a while and take my cue to continue or dial it back based o her text reaction. Very safe and allowed her to indicate when she was in a mood to playfully text about it or when it had no interest or she was too busy to let her mind wander.

Good luck!

[BBCfan]

I’d say a big development today.

Like I said in my first post, she’s been very open to talking about it during sex. We were making out and one thing led to another. During sex she said she would fuck someone else. She indicated right before my orgasm that there was a big black guy she eyes up and who eyes her up too. After I came on her stomach and pussy, we kissed and we talked a little afterwards. She was serious. Not getting into details or her excited but she said “like I said, if he approaches me and we connect, I’m doing it” we texted back and forth, I don’t want to spend too much time talking about it, I feel like it’d be pushy. But I sent a very supportive text:

Honestly baby, post nut clarity and all. I only want you to do this if you want to do this. You have my permission. If we ever get to that point where it’s likely to happen, we can go over rules. But you have my blessing and the freedom to do whatever, whenever. I won’t get mad if you come home late. My only ask is that you’re open and honest with me about everything that happens. No pressure, I want it to be fun and I want you to want it. I love you forever.

She said:

I love you too and I know. I’m obv not going to do something deceitful. The point isn’t to hurt you or replace you

I said:

I know you’re not, I think that’s why I’m so excited about you saying yes. I trust you with EVERYTHING. You’ll always make the right decision and make it work.

Just don’t be annoyed with all my questions after it finally happens

She said:

ugh part of me wonders if I should get on BC (birth control)
Me:
What makes you say that?
Her:
I don’t want another man to get me pregnant. Especially bc I want them to Cum inside me

Can she be more perfect???

I’ll admit, her with a BBC is my biggest fantasy but who knew it could be the first???

So many questions run through my mind. Her opinions on things, what her limits are, etc. but I don’t want to push.

I’m excited yet trying to keep my cool.

One thing I’m very tempted to do, is use this toy on her, we have this harness that can make any toy, within reason, a strap on type feel. No I don’t want pegged.
I feel like, if she’s going to get a potentially really big dick, she’s going to need to get used to a size or two bigger than me.. right? Or is that just some olds wives tale?

She’s used the toy in the past. It’s thick and soft. She likes it better than the other toys we’ve used in the past but still has only used it once or twice. Blah.

Thanks for reading!

Wow! Hot update.
I think she likely might need to get used to a bigger size if he's really big. That way she may not be as intimidated and can relax more and enjoy in the moment.
Look forward to hearing how this progresses.

Now would you hope to be there or would it be her alone with him likely, especially initially?

[VwatchesK92]

I’d say a big development today.

Like I said in my first post, she’s been very open to talking about it during sex. We were making out and one thing led to another. During sex she said she would fuck someone else. She indicated right before my orgasm that there was a big black guy she eyes up and who eyes her up too. After I came on her stomach and pussy, we kissed and we talked a little afterwards. She was serious. Not getting into details or her excited but she said “like I said, if he approaches me and we connect, I’m doing it” we texted back and forth, I don’t want to spend too much time talking about it, I feel like it’d be pushy. But I sent a very supportive text:

Honestly baby, post nut clarity and all. I only want you to do this if you want to do this. You have my permission. If we ever get to that point where it’s likely to happen, we can go over rules. But you have my blessing and the freedom to do whatever, whenever. I won’t get mad if you come home late. My only ask is that you’re open and honest with me about everything that happens. No pressure, I want it to be fun and I want you to want it. I love you forever.

She said:

I love you too and I know. I’m obv not going to do something deceitful. The point isn’t to hurt you or replace you

I said:

I know you’re not, I think that’s why I’m so excited about you saying yes. I trust you with EVERYTHING. You’ll always make the right decision and make it work.

Just don’t be annoyed with all my questions after it finally happens

She said:

ugh part of me wonders if I should get on BC (birth control)
Me:
What makes you say that?
Her:
I don’t want another man to get me pregnant. Especially bc I want them to Cum inside me

Can she be more perfect???

I’ll admit, her with a BBC is my biggest fantasy but who knew it could be the first???

So many questions run through my mind. Her opinions on things, what her limits are, etc. but I don’t want to push.

I’m excited yet trying to keep my cool.

One thing I’m very tempted to do, is use this toy on her, we have this harness that can make any toy, within reason, a strap on type feel. No I don’t want pegged.
I feel like, if she’s going to get a potentially really big dick, she’s going to need to get used to a size or two bigger than me.. right? Or is that just some olds wives tale?

She’s used the toy in the past. It’s thick and soft. She likes it better than the other toys we’ve used in the past but still has only used it once or twice. Blah.

Thanks for reading!

Wow! Hot update.
I think she likely might need to get used to a bigger size if he's really big. That way she may not be as intimidated and can relax more and enjoy in the moment.
Look forward to hearing how this progresses.

Now would you hope to be there or would it be her alone with him likely, especially initially?

Glad you’re enjoying it so far. I actually asked her about it the other day, pushing my luck by talking about it outside the bedroom lol. I essentially asked if she’d need to get used to a much bigger dick. She said “no, I’ll be so turned on I shouldn’t have a problem” then she just went back to a normal conversation. The whiplash I get from sexy talk back to normal talk is enough to call a personal injury lawyer for. I wouldn’t change it though, the only flaw in how it goes is that I crave more once she brings it up.

To answer your question the first time sexually will probably be a blowjob. I’ve been wrong before, but I don’t think she is will have sex immediately. Not to say I wouldn’t just melt into a pile of mush if she did. I just don’t know if she would. I also won’t be there, I believe it will be someone from the gym? She’s said that she’d go out to his car/truck and blow/fuck him there. Hot as fuck.

[BBCfan]

Damn, definitely hot as fuck.

Probably for most guys, especially wannabes, the subject doesn't come up as much as any of us would like.

[VwatchesK92]

It’s almost hump day folks.

Quick update. Wife was very interested in talking about the hotwife stiff outside of the bedroom. I’m not sure if it was a one time thing or what, but I wasn’t complaining.

She also told me about a hook up she had when we weren’t together. Apparently it was 2 or 3 times with this guy and they had sex at a hotel? I was extremely turned on by the details. Hot past stories are another thing I love.

Not much of an update but it’s the baby steps that add up, right?

[VwatchesK92]

Happy Friday everyone! A small development I’d like to share.

I believe we are out of the “I’m not sure” phase and in the midst of the “let’s see what happens” phase. We are progressing but I have been reading that people can get stuck in this stage. I guess some advice from guys who have been able to get over the “hump” (pun absolutely intended) would be much appreciated.

The reason I say that is: we were in the beginning stage of having sex, she says she has a meeting in 8 minutes. Well, it’s been about a week and I thought “no problem”. Well, it turned out to be a problem. I was able to finish, but it had to be so quick that she didn’t get her orgasm. On top of it, I went soft in the middle of it, I just kept on thinking about her damn meeting and wondering if I’d finish in time. On top of it, she was laying on the dirty talk thick. My dick was getting whip lash.

I’ve never had problems with performance. So this was a first. I did have regrets afterwards and I just felt mad at myself for even trying to get it done in less than 8 minutes. I mean, I guess I succeeded, yay me. It just wasn’t a great session. Has anyone else had this happen? Or just me?

Now, the sexy part is my perfect wife used this mild performance issue to say something along the lines of “well, now I have to fuck someone else who won’t go soft on me”
She makes me melt. She’s really been getting into the dirty talk as I mentioned but also outside of the bedroom, making little remarks here and there.

The BIG thing I’m excited about is we were upstairs cleaning our short term rental and I pretty much came out and told her that I felt like I just sucked in bed and I was sorry. She knew this was a fluke, she was completely understanding. After a short discussion, I say something along the lines of “I’m not insecure about my regular performance or my dick size, but I want you to have a shot with a guy who rocks your world.” She’s agreeable to this and she said “well, I’ve been thinking that sleeping with someone new might actually build sexual tension between us as well.” Fellas, if you’ve been with your wife/gf longer than 6 months you understand that it’s not “new” anymore. You’ve pretty much learned what makes her tick, what she likes in bed, what she doesn’t like. On the flip side, your wife/gf knows this about you too. That is something my wife is struggling with, libido. I mentioned that in a previous post here.

I guess my last question is: has anyone experienced an increase in sexual tension from their wife/gf? I mean I know that after she comes home from a date, you’ll probably need a crowbar to separate us. I’m just wondering, outside of her coming home from a date, does tension go up? Let me know if that question doesn’t make sense.

Lastly, I will tell everyone that I’ve been doing really well not bringing it up. Every now and again I’ll toss a sexual innuendo, not necessarily hot wife related. She’s said I’ve done a much better job at not talking about it.

Turns out, all us guys gotta do is listen and eventually we get rewarded.

[leggysman]

some advice from guys who have been able to get over the “hump” (pun absolutely intended) would be much appreciated.

Absolutely. IMO the exact thing for her to get over the "hump" is to meet one or more real life men who are interested in dating her. That will change this from a theoretical 'yes' (to the idea) into an actual someone she can say 'yes' to. It will suddenly become a very real possibility, within easy reach. That's the home stretch, my man!

An online dating site is obviously the easiest, and it certainly worked in our case. I had set up the account on a swinger dating site, and was expecting to 'vet' guys for her to consider. But when I showed it to her, she practically elbowed me out of the way and took over. I've almost never logged into it since then She met her first guy on there within days, and ~2-3 weeks later...

I guess my last question is: has anyone experienced an increase in sexual tension from their wife/gf?

Absolutely this too. Once she's seriously considering going for it with someone, you're both probably going to be like a couple of horny teenagers together.

[aztd]

Follow

[VwatchesK92]

Hi everyone, there was a small development. Nothing earth shattering but I feel like this has happened to other people in the past so maybe it’s a good sign?

She had a dream we found a guy for her to play with. She said she woke up before anything happened in her dream. I’ll take her word for it but even if they had great sex in the dream, not like I’d be mad. Anyways, I know dreams don’t mean anything really, but I guess it’s a subconscious thing?
I’m not going to read too much into it but I wanted some other opinions from my friends here.

Also, she seemed to have felt almost guilty after telling me. I think that maybe this has to do with the pre determined notion that wives have to be “good” by being faithful. It’s one thing to talk about it in bed consciously, it’s another to have a dream about it and be “excited” in her words, afterwards.

Just some food for thought I guess?

[Yummyjenny4u]

Mmmm wow, you’re close

[parklife]

I guess my last question is: has anyone experienced an increase in sexual tension from their wife/gf? I mean I know that after she comes home from a date, you’ll probably need a crowbar to separate us. I’m just wondering, outside of her coming home from a date, does tension go up? Let me know if that question doesn’t make sense.

I think I know what you’re asking and you’re as reliable for the tension as much or more as her. The crowbar analogy is pretty spot on as far as I’m concerned. When my wife returns home from her date, I just need to be around her… touch her, kiss her, the flood of everything leaves me with convoluted smile that leaves no doubt where my mind is at.

But, there is no crowbar needed for my wife. After she’s returned home, she’s often spent and her sexual needs are satiated. I have reclaimed her in the past immediately after but far more often it’s a day, or two, or more quite frankly, before I’m with her again. This ramps up the tension on my end considerably and all I can think about is her and there is a tension yet also a fascination that I’m not the last guy she’s had sex with.

For many, that may be too much. It doesn’t match with their ideas of a healthy reclamation of the marriage. I’ve grown to enjoy those times. I enjoy the feeling of being so turned on and wanting her so much.. the just out of reach.. the desire. Sometimes she doesn’t even realize we haven’t had sex after her dates for a while and that just makes me want her more. I love the state of arousal and the tension that comes with it.

In the end, it’s very much up to the two of you how you treat the after effects and you have quite a bit of control n how to manage the tension. The more my wife is active with a FWB, the more tension there is and you I’m tell the more she sex she wants with me. Her sexual activity lites a fire and thirst in her that she uses both me and others to quench. And that’s tension retention for sure…

[VwatchesK92]

Merry Christmas!

What a whirlwind over the last few weeks. Nothing happened, but things were said.

There’s a few guys at the gym she’s commented on. Sharing glances is the most it’s been. No talking or anything further! A few months ago, she’d say that all other guys are ugly and douchey looking. Now, she’s commenting on how other men look attractive and sharing glances. I’m not complaining! I just think it’s a little funny that NOW she’s noticing men.

She also downloaded an app called Down. I guess it’s a knock off of tinder where it’s ONLY people looking for hooking up. She was skeptical, saying how the only guys on the app were not her type. However, I’m more proud of her downloading the app on her own, I didn’t prompt it! Granted, we talked about maybe getting on an app/website earlier that week. So not totally out of the blue but I wouldn’t have guessed that she’d do it unprovoked by me.

More to come, at least I’m hoping!