Advice and opinion if you'd be so kind

[MrBator2024]

Good evening everyone,

Just looking for a bit of advice/opinions/support. For a long time now, I've longed to get into swinging/swapping/cucking. My wife on the otherhand isn't as keen as me. We've spoken about it twice before a year or so ago. The first time it wasn't even a conversation, just straight no. The second time 6 months or so later it was mentioned again. She asked a few questions, who, why, how etc. But ultimately resulted in a no again. She found out my reasons behind it, and one of them is I love the thought of other guys being turned on by her. I said I love guys who look at her when we're out and about. Our next holiday, I mentioned this and she let me choose some quite revealing swimwear to wear which she was more than happy to.

Is it something people tend to warm to or am I chasing a lost dream with this?

Would her reactions suggest she is somewhat interested?


Would love to hear your thoughts guys

[armyguyot1]

Welcome to the forum MrBator2024. You are a familiar story and one that can have many outcomes. Your wife accepting your swimwear is a very positive response. She obviously likes the attention.

[MrBator2024]

Hi, thanks for the warm welcome and reply! Do you think the questions is also a common response or also quite positive?

[leggysman]

It can be a long journey. Most of the fellas frequenting this area are still working on it. In our case, it took 9 years for her to embrace it . She always knew about my bent, and she was somewhat curious and receptive to the idea for a couple of years before it happened.

Play the long game - keep the subject alive, without ever being pushy (it's a fine line to walk). Foster open, frank communication about sex and your relationship. There's a decent chance that the possibilities will eventually arouse her curiosity and sense of adventure, but obviously it depends on how much of each is in her nature. In the meantime, work hard to keep your married sex life fun, frequent, and spicy.

What sort of swimwear will you be wearing?

P.S.> convincing my wife to read and join this site is what finally made it happen

[MrBator2024]

Thanks for the reply! Yes I don't expect it to happen over night, I happy to wait as long as it takes. Unfortunately it isn't me in the swimwear, I was lucky enough to pick some swimwear out for her to wear

[Marksmall5]

It sounds like a good start, slowly, can you detail the swimwear you had her wear?

[MrBator2024]

Yes of course. Picked 4 for her to wear, two one piece and two bikinis but all thong backed. Plain black one piece and the other like a snake skin pattern. Black was low cut and snake skin was much more of a pushup. Bikinis were neon leopard print and the other flowery pattern

[JaBe]

In my case I didn't actively "want" my wife to fuck another guy and not for me but, as I was her first, I was curious if she wondered what sex with another guy would have been like and I was happy if she wanted to find out. So very early on I told her that all she had to do if she got curious was to ask. I just occasionally reminded her of the offer whenever the situation was appropriate (like if she was commenting on another guy, or similar) never raising it for its own sake.

Then, after we had been together for around 9 years and married for 5 of those, one day she raised the subject for the first time ever, in a roundabout way. So sometimes the stars have to align. If you're interested, story link in my signature

[trecital]

Remember, you probably started this desire/fantasy many years ago, long before you mentioned it to your wife. She is a long way behind you in the thought process. You can't really expect her to be on board immediately, if at all.

You've not had total, out and out rejection, just an initial "no". You will have to be patient while the idea 'ferments' in her mind. Don't push it. Lead gently and encourage.
Patience is the virtue here.

[annsman]

In our case once my wife realised I was serious she was excited by the idea right away, but said she could only do it with the right man in the right circumstances. As it happened our first time was a drunken fuck on holiday where she got carried away when the circumstances were right, but not the right man.

Your wife is showing interest so there is hope for you if she meets the right man.

[Treat yourself girl]

I would get turned on when other guys gave Amy attention. I encouraged her to flirt. She was reluctant at first but soon became an expert at it. I also encouraged her to wear sexier outfits that showed off her hot body. Over time she became very confident, her flirting more outrageous. The flirting led to touching, the touching led to fondling, the fondling led to kissing, the kissing led to clothes being loosened, eventually the clothes came off and cocks got ridden! It takes small steps... which lead to bigger braver steps. Keep encouraging your gal, reassure her, treat her, guide her, love her.

[Massage4Wife72]

Sometimes it never happens I guess. You need to be ok with that as well. I told my wife over 12 years ago and it’s still a hard no. Just not something she is remotely interested in. Honestly I have no idea what would happen if she actually did do it. They say reality is way different than fantasy. So maybe it’s a good thing. Either way, I love her more than she will ever know. This is something I want not a have to have. Her and our marriage will always come first.