Young married guy here

[wannabecUKold]

Maybe he thinks that fucking her regularly is better than bringing up any suspicions. Possibly he thinks why rock the boat?

This is surely right. Adam has tentatively asked Danny whether he is deep asleep. And Danny has assured him that he is out for the count. Adam may take that at face value. Or he may not wholly believe it and reckon that Danny must know or suspect. But it’s in no one’s interest to raise the question. Let it just become more blatant until it’s an open unspoken secret.

[joel68]

Adam is probably fucking her right now.

[Gearup]

God I hope so

[RunDannyRun]

Maybe he thinks that fucking her regularly is better than bringing up any suspicions. Possibly he thinks why rock the boat?

This is surely right. Adam has tentatively asked Danny whether he is deep asleep. And Danny has assured him that he is out for the count. Adam may take that at face value. Or he may not wholly believe it and reckon that Danny must know or suspect. But it’s in no one’s interest to raise the question. Let it just become more blatant until it’s an open unspoken secret.

Adam knew about my sleep issues for sometime now. I also asks sometimes about how I am sleeping if he sees me being tired (like once or twice a week) but he usually asks me in the mornings. I kind of tell him the same every time he asks me and it is more like a rhetorical question these days.

[sandy691196]

Danny up early? Weren't you supposed to be actually taking pills to straighten out your sleep for a few days now?
Did Lauren wake you up when she returned from Adam’s bed?

[RunDannyRun]

I only take them during the weekdays to stay fresh the next working day. I try to avoid them during weekends - prolly not the best idea but I do not know.

[Rogueuser1]

Hopefully it is something you have discussed with your actual doctor - I certainly wouldn't take sleeping pill advice from this forum

I hope you, Lauren, and Adam are all doing well and work isn't too overwhelming. We are all eager for the next update as always!

[sandy691196]

I only take them during the weekdays to stay fresh the next working day. I try to avoid them during weekends - prolly not the best idea but I do not know.

You woke up very early.. going by your post timing..

[Luigical1931]

Just wondering if you still have plans to visit a friend again? Not sure when you said that may be.

When you thought about this, was it to see a friend, or more to give them some time alone? Or a bit of both?

[Gearup]

interacting but no update - interesting.

[sandy691196]

He said that henceforth he will update weekly.. unless something major happens.
All our "theories" bug him no end

[wannabecUKold]

Sandy is right and we should limit our demands. That said, we would plead with Danny to drop us a one-liner each time they fuck eg “L fucked by A 12.30 to 4.45. All well.” This will feed our cravings to imagine.

[RunDannyRun]

Folks,

I am suddenly regretting getting the additional responsibilities at work. I am spending more than half a day, every day, in meetings since the start of the year. I am also working almost 10 hours everyday. Enough about my whining -- things are going steady between them.

They had sex a couple of times since my last update - Friday evening and Saturday evening. I think this is the first time they had sex consecutively. The Friday was fairly uneventful. They just had sex once as Adam was very tired. She also came back upstairs after an hour or so. I feel like they are also settling into a familiar rhythm. Saturday was a bit more "exciting" - in the sense that they he fucked her twice. She also spent like 3 hours with him that night.

I kinda asked her about the whole cuddling after sex with Adam thing. And again this is the case of "ignorance is bliss" scenario. She told me that before they actually had sex, she always assumed that they would just spend like 20 minutes to have sex and she will be in and out of his room in half n hour. But the first time they had sex, it was completely different from what she had in her mind. He was able to fuck her back to back. He is the one who initiates cuddles and pillow talk. She told me that he is the one who spoons her or pulls her towards him after they have sex. I will be honest here, I am a bit more distant after sex and especially if things got sweaty. yes I talk and maybe hug but I would rather not tbh. He doesn't mind that one bit. He is talkative after sex while my post-sex clarity renders me more introverted. She told me that this is all new to her and she enjoys it a lot.

I think I am noticing some diminished NRE between them. Maybe it is for the best.

[RunDannyRun]

Just wondering if you still have plans to visit a friend again? Not sure when you said that may be.

When you thought about this, was it to see a friend, or more to give them some time alone? Or a bit of both?

Yes. But it will be towards the end of this month. I already told them about this.

[joel68]

Leaving them alone in the house all weekend should be interesting.

Dan, will you leave and have Lauren tell you about what went on or would you like updates?

[Gearup]

She told me that this is all new to her and she enjoys it a lot.

Perhaps you can learn from this. Be more diligent figuring out what she enjoys from sex with Adam (other than the size thing) and incorporate some of those things into your efforts fucking with Lauren and just sleeping with her in general. Assuming you want to be intimate with your wife going forward, you will constantly need to improve your game and /or try new things to keep the spice in your lives. She is getting a good fucking from him quite regularly. You fuck her different, which is a good thing, but you have to make it interesting and stay relevant.

[sandy691196]

Folks,

I am suddenly regretting getting the additional responsibilities at work. I am spending more than half a day, every day, in meetings since the start of the year. I am also working almost 10 hours everyday. Enough about my whining -- things are going steady between them.

They had sex a couple of times since my last update - Friday evening and Saturday evening. I think this is the first time they had sex consecutively. The Friday was fairly uneventful. They just had sex once as Adam was very tired. She also came back upstairs after an hour or so. I feel like they are also settling into a familiar rhythm. Saturday was a bit more "exciting" - in the sense that they he fucked her twice. She also spent like 3 hours with him that night.

I kinda asked her about the whole cuddling after sex with Adam thing. And again this is the case of "ignorance is bliss" scenario. She told me that before they actually had sex, she always assumed that they would just spend like 20 minutes to have sex and she will be in and out of his room in half n hour. But the first time they had sex, it was completely different from what she had in her mind. He was able to fuck her back to back. He is the one who initiates cuddles and pillow talk. She told me that he is the one who spoons her or pulls her towards him after they have sex. I will be honest here, I am a bit more distant after sex and especially if things got sweaty. yes I talk and maybe hug but I would rather not tbh. He doesn't mind that one bit. He is talkative after sex while my post-sex clarity renders me more introverted. She told me that this is all new to her and she enjoys it a lot.

I think I am noticing some diminished NRE between them. Maybe it is for the best.

"I think I am noticing some diminished NRE between them. Maybe it is for the best."

How? Why? In the last 2 times she went to him, what was different? What makes you feel there is reduced NRE?

Lauren says that she didn't plan to stay back after sex but Adam went for repeats and initiated the cuddling and spooning. But what makes her go to sleep in his arms for hours?

[sandy691196]

Just wondering if you still have plans to visit a friend again? Not sure when you said that may be.

When you thought about this, was it to see a friend, or more to give them some time alone? Or a bit of both?

Yes. But it will be towards the end of this month. I already told them about this.

Danny if you REALLY don't want to encourage the NRE and if you genuinely think it's a good thing for the NRE to come down.. then you shouldn't leave them alone at home for a weekend or for any length of time.

And you come clean with Lauren about the reason for your canceling/ postponing your visit to your friends. You can actually point out the impact of all the NRE on her - to the extent of Adam having the power to make her cry (almost)..
Adam's power on her emotionally is no less than any lover's.

Lauren had said before starting, that at any point after the thing commences, she will step back if it is impacting the marriage.
Test it.

[dadah]

danny, sandy has issued you some very sound advice above !! i beseech you to take it for the sake of the soundness of your own lifelong' intended relationship in your marriage with lauren. kinky playing is one thing..........but a sound, solid, meaningful relationship put at risk is another. please be aware and pay attention !!

[Gearup]

Danny
I'm curious. Now that the Holiday season is over and you & Lauren are back to a real work schedule, Do you think Lauren will hit her 3 - 4 times a week plan for fucking Adam. If your current scenario of cheating remains intact, I would think that weekdays would be limited to quickies with serious fucking (marathon multi fucks) being generally limited to Friday and Saturday all night trysts. Your girl is going to be tired juggling work and her big cock.

If that works out, When is there time for you to get intimate with Lauren? Are you being pushed to the sidelines? When is the last time you got to fuck Lauren? I know your work has ramped up, but you will need your own time with Lauren on a regular basis to keep your sanity.

[sandy691196]

Danny
I'm curious. Now that the Holiday season is over and you & Lauren are back to a real work schedule, Do you think Lauren will hit her 3 - 4 times a week plan for fucking Adam. If your current scenario of cheating remains intact, I would think that weekdays would be limited to quickies with serious fucking (marathon multi fucks) being generally limited to Friday and Saturday all night trysts. Your girl is going to be tired juggling work and her big cock.

If that works out, When is there time for you to get intimate with Lauren? Are you being pushed to the sidelines? When is the last time you got to fuck Lauren? I know your work has ramped up, but you will need your own time with Lauren on a regular basis to keep your sanity.

Lets step back a little and take an impartial and objective view of the situation. Till now all of us have been rooting for Danny and have sometimes blamed the other players in this game- Adam for being a whatever and even Lauren for her intense feelings towards Adam. But is the blame game warranted?

- Danny and Lauren were in an idyllic relationship. Danny developed some temporary health issues impacting their sex life (can happen in any relationship at some point).

- Adam a confirmed loser, came to stay with the couple. He may have been sloppy. He may have flirted compulsively with L the way he is hard wired to behave. But he never crossed the line. His first stay was uneventful.

- Danny develops the wife sharing kink (which he doesn't want to label as "cuck") and came clean with L. She, after the initial freak out, agreed and they took the APP route. In the 1st date, through no fault of the guy, Lauren had a negative reaction when things took a natural course and she was fingered. She liked it a lot. Couldnt resist in the moment and later gave Danny hell.

- After that meltdown, L kicked D out of the bedroom and stopped all intimacy. She established virtual contact with her 42 year old ex teacher, had virtual romance and sex chat. She told the guy that her bedroom "was dead". She changed the PW to her phone in the meantime.

- She met the guy and when, again, things took a natural turn towards intimacy, she quit, with guilt vis a vis the guy's family (not vis a vis Danny)..

- She then comes clean with Danny and makes it sound like nothing really was amiss since her original intention was to keep it limited to virtual (while keeping D out of her intimate life!). Apparently that is not cheating! By all accounts she had lost all respect and regard for Danny at that stage.

- WHY? Was it because D had suggested the LS? Many hubbies do that. Many wives dont accept. But do all wives emotionally break off with the hubby if the first attempt goes wrong? Or was there some other fundamental reason for L distancing herself from D on the emotional and intimate plane?

- We later come to know (now) that Danny doesnt want to make the effort to be a good, passionate sensuous lover in bed. He doesnt want to work on his pussy eating skills and approach. He doesnt want to work on alternative styles of fucking, within the constraints of his physical issues. And lo and behold- he doesnt even like romantic, loving, post-sex cuddling and spooning!
+ He hasnt ever indicated that he has tried to bring in new ideas in the bedroom, new things to talk about or try (apart from the sharing thing which excludes him from the sex part).

- This is where we should stop and re-evaluate the things over which we have been passing judgments and arguing till now. WHY did Lauren lose respect and regard for Danny as an intimate partner?

- Lauren is a normal girl of 23, with a normal sex drive. Her marital experience of sex turned out to be pretty mundane. Most of the wonders of sex were denied to her in the marital bed. She wasnt aware of what she is missing, of what sex can bring to her life, till she slept with Adam. But one thing is for sure, ever since D brought up the cuck thing, L started to think that there is more to good sex for a 23 year old, than what she has been getting at home.

- Still Lauren's cerebral nature, her principles and concepts on life and relationships, didn't allow her to accept her spontaneous feelings in the first two experiments. Somewhere she was scared of liking it too much and the liking carrying over to emotional bonding with the new guy(s). She does extensive reading on cuckold marriages and forms her own ideas.

- Then comes Adam phase 2.. Danny suggests A. Lauren knew of A's flirting with her in the past. The negatives of A as a human being became positives for a "pretend cheating"- side sex deal as a hotwife. She feels that with Adam it will be sheer primal sex with no emotional baggage attached.

- Do remember the initial days when L ONLY kissed and made out with Adam. There was a lot of talking in between the kisses. There was straddling on his lap and all the stuff, new dates do. What many of us missed at that time (we were getting impatient for the real action to start) is that who does extended kissing for hours, sitting on someone's lap, getting her ass massaged all the time?
Is that the hallmark of a girl who dislikes or hates the guy she is making out with? For a girl wanting to use a male body to get off, is this the approach? No. The girl needed and enjoyed the pre sex making out too. Like she enjoys the post sex intimacy now!

- Now I feel that Lauren had a huge gap in her romantic life for overall intimacy, the total package. Not just the sex and getting off bit. Danny's narration of their life somehow doesnt give the impression of handsy, loving, touching, physical intimacy, outside the main sex part. It seems now, that to Danny, sex is a chore and the rest is cerebral.. Reading, talking, running... sitting together, each doing their own thing.

- So Lauren finds real intimacy with a man for the first time in her life. She gets mad when she finds Adam is on Tinder. Can you blame her for that? But at that point, the real action hadn't yet started. So L rationalised that Tinder part and went back to Adam's lap.

- Then after the marathon kissing and sucking and fucking and cumming.. she finds that this man actually values her as a whole and not just her pussy! Who spends so much time in romancing in bed after sex? The cuddling and spooning and stroking? After getting off? The answer to this is the key to all our heated exchanges and debates on this thread.

- A boorish man, a cad, a guy totally into objectification of the woman concerned, wanting to use a girl's body just for sex, doesn't do all of the above night after night. Once or twice intially- yes.. in order to impress. He has the option of making her cum thru oral, followed by making her cum thru fucking and finally cumming himself. Then sending her back to her hubby's bed, safely. till the next time. BUT NO.. Adam does this passionate, sensuous lover's ritual night after night, for over a month.

- What message does this send to the girl? Any girl- but more so a girl who has NEVER had a man want her like this? A man who cherishes her as a woman, in this way.. This goes far beyond superior sex vis a vis her husband. Adam has made L feel like a princess. The woman in Lauren has never felt valued and desired and cherished like this before. Is it any wonder that her world fell apart when she got to know that her man - her REAL man- had cheated on her with a pinche stripper!? Even if it was just fingering?

- And here we are intellectualising and debating on something so simple! Adam admires, desires and values Lauren as a woman. Is that romantic love? He being in a dire financial situation, doesnt have the guts to harbour any higher ambitions in this relationship. He dare not take it on its logical path. But he feels what he feels.

- Lauren hadnt bargained for this thing to happen. She wanted a simple fuck buddy. But she discovers a lover. A romantic partner of a type she never imagined existed. Her cerebral nature and values dont allow her to recognise the reality of the situation. She kids herself and she kids Danny. We have seen that she is capable of cheating- during that teacher phase. Here her conscience is clear since as per cuck marriage rules (what she has read), communication with the SO makes everything kosher!

- So L tells D the events. The action part. When some Q comes on delicate things like romantic cuddling and stuff.. she falls back on her standard defence- Push responsibility on to the other guy! Adam started it.. Adam does it.. I just follow blah blah! But never a word on why she allows Adam to do it night after night .. week after week. Why she allows her work days to be ruined regularly by Adam's whims?

- Answer is simple. Lauren having tasted real romantic love for the first time as a woman, wants it as much as Adam does.

They are a couple in love.

- Even if this Adam affair blows away some day (it may not), what then? Lauren has tasted a real man giving her real romantic love. She has tasted what it is like to be valued as a woman by a lover. Can she forget all that? Unlearn all that? Next time if another bull comes, single, lonely.. with better social and material qualifications than Adam.. and even half his skills as a lover?

What then?

Finally- does Danny REALLY not know all this? He is directly in the game. Does he not feel it? The scant, below par intimacy with his wife? There are couples in this forum who are in their 40 and 50s with a full life in their kitty. Kids, properties, wonderful togetherness and memories.
This couple has just started life. Their foundation is just getting built.

What does Danny really want out of his life and marriage?

[Watchinu69]

Danny
I'm curious. Now that the Holiday season is over and you & Lauren are back to a real work schedule, Do you think Lauren will hit her 3 - 4 times a week plan for fucking Adam. If your current scenario of cheating remains intact, I would think that weekdays would be limited to quickies with serious fucking (marathon multi fucks) being generally limited to Friday and Saturday all night trysts. Your girl is going to be tired juggling work and her big cock.

If that works out, When is there time for you to get intimate with Lauren? Are you being pushed to the sidelines? When is the last time you got to fuck Lauren? I know your work has ramped up, but you will need your own time with Lauren on a regular basis to keep your sanity.

Lets step back a little and take an impartial and objective view of the situation. Till now all of us have been rooting for Danny and have sometimes blamed the other players in this game- Adam for being a whatever and even Lauren for her intense feelings towards Adam. But is the blame game warranted?

- Danny and Lauren were in an idyllic relationship. Danny developed some temporary health issues impacting their sex life (can happen in any relationship at some point).

- Adam a confirmed loser, came to stay with the couple. He may have been sloppy. He may have flirted compulsively with L the way he is hard wired to behave. But he never crossed the line. His first stay was uneventful.

- Danny develops the wife sharing kink (which he doesn't want to label as "cuck") and came clean with L. She, after the initial freak out, agreed and they took the APP route. In the 1st date, through no fault of the guy, Lauren had a negative reaction when things took a natural course and she was fingered. She liked it a lot. Couldnt resist in the moment and later gave Danny hell.

- After that meltdown, L kicked D out of the bedroom and stopped all intimacy. She established virtual contact with her 42 year old ex teacher, had virtual romance and sex chat. She told the guy that her bedroom "was dead". She changed the PW to her phone in the meantime.

- She met the guy and when, again, things took a natural turn towards intimacy, she quit, with guilt vis a vis the guy's family (not vis a vis Danny)..

- She then comes clean with Danny and makes it sound like nothing really was amiss since her original intention was to keep it limited to virtual (while keeping D out of her intimate life!). Apparently that is not cheating! By all accounts she had lost all respect and regard for Danny at that stage.

- WHY? Was it because D had suggested the LS? Many hubbies do that. Many wives dont accept. But do all wives emotionally break off with the hubby if the first attempt goes wrong? Or was there some other fundamental reason for L distancing herself from D on the emotional and intimate plane?

- We later come to know (now) that Danny doesnt want to make the effort to be a good, passionate sensuous lover in bed. He doesnt want to work on his pussy eating skills and approach. He doesnt want to work on alternative styles of fucking, within the constraints of his physical issues. And lo and behold- he doesnt even like romantic, loving, post-sex cuddling and spooning!
+ He hasnt ever indicated that he has tried to bring in new ideas in the bedroom, new things to talk about or try (apart from the sharing thing which excludes him from the sex part).

- This is where we should stop and re-evaluate the things over which we have been passing judgments and arguing till now. WHY did Lauren lose respect and regard for Danny as an intimate partner?

- Lauren is a normal girl of 23, with a normal sex drive. Her marital experience of sex turned out to be pretty mundane. Most of the wonders of sex were denied to her in the marital bed. She wasnt aware of what she is missing, of what sex can bring to her life, till she slept with Adam. But one thing is for sure, ever since D brought up the cuck thing, L started to think that there is more to good sex for a 23 year old, than what she has been getting at home.

- Still Lauren's cerebral nature, her principles and concepts on life and relationships, didn't allow her to accept her spontaneous feelings in the first two experiments. Somewhere she was scared of liking it too much and the liking carrying over to emotional bonding with the new guy(s). She does extensive reading on cuckold marriages and forms her own ideas.

- Then comes Adam phase 2.. Danny suggests A. Lauren knew of A's flirting with her in the past. The negatives of A as a human being became positives for a "pretend cheating"- side sex deal as a hotwife. She feels that with Adam it will be sheer primal sex with no emotional baggage attached.

- Do remember the initial days when L ONLY kissed and made out with Adam. There was a lot of talking in between the kisses. There was straddling on his lap and all the stuff, new dates do. What many of us missed at that time (we were getting impatient for the real action to start) is that who does extended kissing for hours, sitting on someone's lap, getting her ass massaged all the time?
Is that the hallmark of a girl who dislikes or hates the guy she is making out with? For a girl wanting to use a male body to get off, is this the approach? No. The girl needed and enjoyed the pre sex making out too. Like she enjoys the post sex intimacy now!

- Now I feel that Lauren had a huge gap in her romantic life for overall intimacy, the total package. Not just the sex and getting off bit. Danny's narration of their life somehow doesnt give the impression of handsy, loving, touching, physical intimacy, outside the main sex part. It seems now, that to Danny, sex is a chore and the rest is cerebral.. Reading, talking, running... sitting together, each doing their own thing.

- So Lauren finds real intimacy with a man for the first time in her life. She gets mad when she finds Adam is on Tinder. Can you blame her for that? But at that point, the real action hadn't yet started. So L rationalised that Tinder part and went back to Adam's lap.

- Then after the marathon kissing and sucking and fucking and cumming.. she finds that this man actually values her as a whole and not just her pussy! Who spends so much time in romancing in bed after sex? The cuddling and spooning and stroking? After getting off? The answer to this is the key to all our heated exchanges and debates on this thread.

- A boorish man, a cad, a guy totally into objectification of the woman concerned, wanting to use a girl's body just for sex, doesn't do all of the above night after night. Once or twice intially- yes.. in order to impress. He has the option of making her cum thru oral, followed by making her cum thru fucking and finally cumming himself. Then sending her back to her hubby's bed, safely. till the next time. BUT NO.. Adam does this passionate, sensuous lover's ritual night after night, for over a month.

- What message does this send to the girl? Any girl- but more so a girl who has NEVER had a man want her like this? A man who cherishes her as a woman, in this way.. This goes far beyond superior sex vis a vis her husband. Adam has made L feel like a princess. The woman in Lauren has never felt valued and desired and cherished like this before. Is it any wonder that her world fell apart when she got to know that her man - her REAL man- had cheated on her with a pinche stripper!? Even if it was just fingering?

- And here we are intellectualising and debating on something so simple! Adam admires, desires and values Lauren as a woman. Is that romantic love? He being in a dire financial situation, doesnt have the guts to harbour any higher ambitions in this relationship. He dare not take it on its logical path. But he feels what he feels.

- Lauren hadnt bargained for this thing to happen. She wanted a simple fuck buddy. But she discovers a lover. A romantic partner of a type she never imagined existed. Her cerebral nature and values dont allow her to recognise the reality of the situation. She kids herself and she kids Danny. We have seen that she is capable of cheating- during that teacher phase. Here her conscience is clear since as per cuck marriage rules (what she has read), communication with the SO makes everything kosher!

- So L tells D the events. The action part. When some Q comes on delicate things like romantic cuddling and stuff.. she falls back on her standard defence- Push responsibility on to the other guy! Adam started it.. Adam does it.. I just follow blah blah! But never a word on why she allows Adam to do it night after night .. week after week. Why she allows her work days to be ruined regularly by Adam's whims?

- Answer is simple. Lauren having tasted real romantic love for the first time as a woman, wants it as much as Adam does.

They are a couple in love.

- Even if this Adam affair blows away some day (it may not), what then? Lauren has tasted a real man giving her real romantic love. She has tasted what it is like to be valued as a woman by a lover. Can she forget all that? Unlearn all that? Next time if another bull comes, single, lonely.. with better social and material qualifications than Adam.. and even half his skills as a lover?

What then?

Finally- does Danny REALLY not know all this? He is directly in the game. Does he not feel it? The scant, below par intimacy with his wife? There are couples in this forum who are in their 40 and 50s with a full life in their kitty. Kids, properties, wonderful togetherness and memories.
This couple has just started life. Their foundation is just getting built.

What does Danny really want out of his life and marriage?

Any chance Sandy can move in the other spare bedroom so we can get a reporter with boots on the ground reposting what the author is thinking..... that nobody cares about...

[RunDannyRun]

"I think I am noticing some diminished NRE between them. Maybe it is for the best."

How? Why? In the last 2 times she went to him, what was different? What makes you feel there is reduced NRE?

Lauren says that she didn't plan to stay back after sex but Adam went for repeats and initiated the cuddling and spooning. But what makes her go to sleep in his arms for hours?

They haven't tried anything new sexually. And just had sex only once one night( this never happened before).

She said that he didn't talk a lot compared to before. He hugged her / spooned her and slept off.

[RunDannyRun]

Danny
I'm curious. Now that the Holiday season is over and you & Lauren are back to a real work schedule, Do you think Lauren will hit her 3 - 4 times a week plan for fucking Adam. If your current scenario of cheating remains intact, I would think that weekdays would be limited to quickies with serious fucking (marathon multi fucks) being generally limited to Friday and Saturday all night trysts. Your girl is going to be tired juggling work and her big cock.

If that works out, When is there time for you to get intimate with Lauren? Are you being pushed to the sidelines? When is the last time you got to fuck Lauren? I know your work has ramped up, but you will need your own time with Lauren on a regular basis to keep your sanity.

I think 4 times a week is probably stretching it and won't happen. I see 3 times a week being feasible. I slept with her once last week but let's see how things go this week.

[Luigical1931]

Thanks for the update Danny.

Have you got anybody you can delegate that workload to? As people get more responsibility, one thing I always notice in my work is that they struggle to delegate this down the ranks when they’re asked to step up. They instead take on the extra workload and pressure just for themselves and struggle, then ultimately fail. The team around them don’t realise the extra pressures you’re under (or sometimes do and don’t care… these are the people you want to burn bridges with, as they don’t have the same priorities that you do). Those that succeed, find a way to maintain their current way of working and their lifestyle. They communicate problems and use the team to support them. You may be able to pull off long days in the short term, but ultimately, it will effect your lifestyle, mistakes will begin to creep into your work, you won’t be motivated and ultimately won’t succeed in doing what you want to do. Take a step back and look at those around you, are they working as hard as you? You 100% have to put in the work sometimes to succeed, so don’t think I’m saying you should all the sudden turn down what sounds like a great opportunity, I’m just saying long term, it will be hard to maintain.

Thanks for answering my question about going away. I have one more question if you don’t mind.

Have you two discussed that it seems to be falling into a normal routine now? That they’re fucking, sometimes you listen, sometimes you don’t… is it starting to lose the excitement for you both that it originally did? Just wondering if you’ve thought about spicing things up or changing the dynamic slightly? Maybe that hotel room he suggested, or she surprises him wearing some lingerie (a step out of her own comfort zone).

Just a thought and something I wondered about anyway.