Requesting advice from a Bull

[Cuckcop]

My wife began cuckolding me about 20 years ago, when I say cuckolding I mean it in the traditional sense, she was cheating on me. To make a long story short, I discovered much to my shock that the thought of her fucking another man was a huge turn-on. After thinking about it for a while I finally confronted her and told her I knew what she was doing and as long as we could keep our family together I would support her dating other men. Needless to say she was surprised and a little shocked by what I said and couldn’t look me in the eye. She asked how I would feel when I knew she was going out on a date with another man. I told her that I would give her a big kiss and tell her that I hope she had a great time and I couldn’t wait until she came home to me. I saw a smile slowly grow and she was able to look at me again and I knew we could make this work.

It did work out for a while and while I’ll spare you all the ups and downs, where we are now is what drives my request for advice. My wife has not had sex with me or anyone else now for a number of years. She went from a woman very driven by her sex drive (not slut shaming here, I knew that when I married her and had no problem with it) to someone with no desire for sex. Part of it I’m sure is pre- menopausal hormones, but some of it is unwarranted guilt she feels for “cheating “ on me. I think she would be a lot happier if she was getting some real positive attention from a few other men, not to mention a good stiff cock, and I’m hoping there are some decent experienced Bulls out there who might have some advice on how to best go about reawakening that sexual urge in a middle aged hotwife. I look forward to hearing your thoughts.

[hubudig2]

People can lose their sex drive for all sorts of reasons.
There's not enough information in your post to hazard a guess as to why and without knowing why it'd be difficult to suggest a solution.
Is it just her sex drive that is affected? Is she otherwise happy and motivated?
How is your relationship with her? Have there been any changes in recent years?
How were her last few encounters? Was there maybe something about them that left a bad taste in the mouth?
You said some of it is unwarranted guilt, has she told you that for certain?
Is it possible something went too far and she feels guilt for that and is worried about it happening again?
The best thing I can suggest right now is to communicate, be supportive, try to understand how she feels and let her know how you feel.
If she's just had enough, you can maybe try to inspire her again but trying to push her into it too much will probably have the opposite effect.

[Cuckcop]

Thanks so much for your response. Why I say unwarranted guilt is because she left me some years ago to be with one of her lovers, thereby breaking up our family. After several years of some bad experiences we got back together again and everything has been fine except for the lack of sex. She believes my willingness to be cuckolded was a selfless act to keep our family together, which is partially true, and can’t really believe that I truly want her to have exciting sexual experiences with other men. My wife is, or at least was, attracted to dominant men and as a police officer she sees me in that role. She believes that being with other men would be hurtful to me in spite of what I may say and can’t really accept that I want her to have those sexual experiences which at least in the past I know she loved.

Thanks again for responding and also for your willingness to be a mentor, a role which is obviously needed for many.

[Seekingmore12]

Something you may consider is servicing her….by that I mean this is not about you getting sex from her.

Since she likes a bit of dominance in men, come up behind her one day and slip your hand down her pants, kiss her and tell her you want to feel her cum…..

Leave it at that…tell her you enjoyed servicing her.

Then get into the headspace of serving her….layoff the other men talk and simply focus on a orgasm a day for her.

Might help

G

[firef503]

As a bull one thing I've personally experienced with hotwives is even with a wife has full permission to have sex with whoever she wants and her husband encourages her to do so, she still prefers to "cheat." Still prefers to hold secrets and do things without telling him. Part of the sex appeal for women is doing something "naughty" breaking the rules, sneaking around. Plus for a lot of women, they don't want to think of their husband as someone that encourages them this ways. They'd rather feel like their husband is jealous, possessive and worrying about loosing them.

The other aspect to think of is you are thinking somewhat like a guy. Part of the sex drive for men is the "hunt" going out and finding women. Women sex drive is more about attracting the men, dress up, wear makeup, ect. If she doesn't feel sexy she doesn't feel like she can attract a man anymore often that means that part of her sex drive is gone. Even sexually active older women I've been with will often purposely show me a picture of how attracted they were when they were younger and tell me exactly that.

I realize none of this actually solves your problems. It's also not a hard set fast rule for anybody that applies to everybody. But generally this has been my findings. To fix that is the big question. I will give some very general advice that applies to most people on this particular "wannabe" forum. It's very easy to for a woman to turn down a concept of having sex with another man. It's far more appealing if they have a specific option for them to consider.

[Cuckcop]

Something you may consider is servicing her….by that I mean this is not about you getting sex from her.

Since she likes a bit of dominance in men, come up behind her one day and slip your hand down her pants, kiss her and tell her you want to feel her cum…..

Leave it at that…tell her you enjoyed servicing her.

Then get into the headspace of serving her….layoff the other men talk and simply focus on a orgasm a day for her.

Might help

G

There are two ways this could play out- but I like your way best.

[Cuckcop]

As a bull one thing I've personally experienced with hotwives is even with a wife has full permission to have sex with whoever she wants and her husband encourages her to do so, she still prefers to "cheat." Still prefers to hold secrets and do things without telling him. Part of the sex appeal for women is doing something "naughty" breaking the rules, sneaking around. Plus for a lot of women, they don't want to think of their husband as someone that encourages them this ways. They'd rather feel like their husband is jealous, possessive and worrying about loosing them.

The other aspect to think of is you are thinking somewhat like a guy. Part of the sex drive for men is the "hunt" going out and finding women. Women sex drive is more about attracting the men, dress up, wear makeup, ect. If she doesn't feel sexy she doesn't feel like she can attract a man anymore often that means that part of her sex drive is gone. Even sexually active older women I've been with will often purposely show me a picture of how attracted they were when they were younger and tell me exactly that.

I realize none of this actually solves your problems. It's also not a hard set fast rule for anybody that applies to everybody. But generally this has been my findings. To fix that is the big question. I will give some very general advice that applies to most people on this particular "wannabe" forum. It's very easy to for a woman to turn down a concept of having sex with another man. It's far more appealing if they have a specific option for them to consider.

These are really good observations, particularly the part about not feeling sexy reducing the sex drive like a self fulfilling prophecy. Something I imagine many of us feel as we age. Having that specific option would be great if it’s the right person. Here’s hoping it happens.