Hi from south east England

[Arrows4444]

Hi All,

A quick intro, I'm "R", 49 yr old male in the south east of England and happily married for 12 years to "C" who is 3 years my junior.

It's my second marriage, I got married the first time round when i was very young, to someone a couple of years older who already had one previous failed marriage (by the age of 18). Anyway, it took me 10 years to realise I was in a financially and emotionally coercive relationship, and another few years to finally exit it.

This time around it's like a breath of fresh air. A proper, true partnership based on love and respect. I couldn't be happier with my wonderful, loving, supportive wife "C". And our beautiful 2 children.

I've always been highly sexed, I'm ashamed to say i had 3 affairs/flings in the final 2 yeara before I left my abusive first marriage. I'm not proud of it, but in a relationship where sex was sometimes once a year, and never more than every few months it made me realise I was actually wanted and I had options outside of my abusive relationship. Once we split up, I even had a few mfm experiences as the 3rd, which I found a wonderful dynamic. Adding a spice to a committed couple's already solid and exciting sexual dynamic was exhilerating for me.

Fast forward a couple more years and I met C and soon we were engaged, then married and have never looled back.

So why oh why do I dearly want us to invite a 3rd, another man, to join me and C in bed?!!

I'm still trying to make sense of my feelings and i've shared them with C who I suspected would at least be open to playing with my fantasy. Which she is, she is so supportive.

I'm happy to detail our progress in another post, it will be a long and rollercoaster journey I'm sure as she fluctuates between "it's a fantasy and I would never do it in real life" to "one day if the situation was right then maybe", and she loves sucking my cock while she's being penetrated by her "friend" (her favourite dildo).

So much for a short intro!!

I really just wanted to say thank you, for sharing your stories, journeys, lifestyles and advice. You've made me feel very normal.

R

[armyguyot1]

Welcome to the forum Arrows4444.

[trecital]

Welcome to the forum, to a UK'er, from another UK'er.

Would love to read more of your story.

[Arrows4444]

Thanks for the kind welcome! I have so many questions and there seem to be a lot of experienced couples on this forum.

My (our) story started a few years ago when my wife tole me about a dream she had that she was being fucked by a well known black american singer. She said the dream was so realistic that it made her orgasm in her sleep and that she woke up cumming.

I found that a very hot experience and I guess it must have sown the seeds in my own mind as for the next few years I got more and more interested in mfm and hotwife porn. Not cuckold (that's of no interest to me but I do understand why others love that lifestyle).

Over the past few years we've involved more toys in bed, starting with a standard rabbit which my wife loved, but evolving over the years to some very realistic dildos which I call my wife's "friends".

I shared my fantasy with my wife a year or so ago that I'd love to see her being fucked by a big cock, or to see her suck a cock while I fucked her. We role play this occasionally in bed and she joins in enthusiastically even to the point of saying "let's do it it for real" or that I cpuld set this up for us. But as soon as we've both cum she goes back to "it's just a fantasy, I wouldnt really want to do it".

On occasion when I've brought it up in.conversation outside the bedroom she's said that "maybe one day, in the right situation" and other times "I'd never do it in real life".

I have said I won't push it and that if it happens it's her choice, and that's where we are now.

[Littlehotthai]

This flip-flop between fantasy and reality was exactly what happened with us…Once we slipped into a little reality, the flood gates swung wide open! You can read the history in my thread in the wannabe forum. Keep pushing the envelope, mutually, and talk more…It sounds like it’s very close to fruition!

[Arrows4444]

Thanks littlehotthai, that sounds encouraging and I'll.have a read of your journey for some pointers.

It's that slip from fantasy to "a little reality" that I'm having trouble finding the right way to.emcourage my wife to take that step.

I'm trying to make it a smaller and less intimidating step like perhaps flashing her pussy "accidentally" to a guy in a bar.

[athlete915]

Welcome to OHW. I hope you find joining the community helpful.

Give your wife's very explicit dream about the black musician; I'm curious if her being with a black man has become a prominent part of the fantasy (for either of you)?

[Arrows4444]

Hi Athlete, thanks for warm welcome and I'm already finding this site incredibly helpful.

No, colour/creed/religion etc has never really entered my mind. I havent yet asked my wife what/who she "pictures" when we're role playing, you've given me the idea to ask though! I did once ask "how does that big black cock feel inside you?" And she replied "what the fuck are yoj talking about?!"

I said "the dildo is big and black!" And she said "oh, is it?"

So go figure...!!

[athlete915]

That’s hilarious. Thanks for sharing.

One piece of advice I offer to couples is to focus on identifying the features/characteristics that really matter in a partner and seek those out. Race should be at the bottom of the list (or absent altogether).

[Arrows4444]

I think that's very sound advice thanks. At the moment i think my wife is hesitant to identify those characteristics as she is reluctant to make it "feel real".

We do watch porn together on occasion, which could be a good time to ask what she finds attractive.

Interestingly, when we watch porn (we only watch ethically produced porn with female directors as she prefers that) she asks me to forward it straight to the action. No interest in the build up/seduction, as she says "I'm watching it for the fucking, not the storyline!"

I wonder if that ties in with my feeling that if a cock suddenly appeared while we were having sex I'm 100% certain she would reach for it and suck it, and more!

It's the build up to making that happen that I think feels too scary for her. I've suggested we go to a lifestyle club just for us to play together with no external involvement (knowing that in the heat of passion she wouldn't be able to resist if a wanking single male came close).

She feels that it would be a seedy environment and she has no interest in trying it.

Sigh!

[Arrows4444]

I guess my question/challenge is how do i get the person she is during us having sex to be more present in day to day life?

[BritishBull2k25]

I've seen a couple of things that can help bridge this gap.

An old cuck friend of mine used to enjoy edging and teasing his wife, so when she enjoyed the fantasy but seemed unsure of pursuing it in the real world, he would wait until they're about to go to a bar, and would use his toys and tongue on her until she was on the verge of a crashing orgasm when he'd stop... They'd then go out - furiously horny - and he'd point out when attractive men were checking her out.

He said at first she'd just give them a playful smile, but that would be enough to inspire them to have the most intense sex when they got home; eventually smiles turned into little chats and chats became flirting over drinks..

In my personal experience, it's clear she's obviously incredibly turned on by the idea of it in the moment, so finding a low-stakes way to try it there and then would probably be best - If I've played with couples new to cuckolding and theyre hesitant at this point, starting with a voice chat with another man can elicit all those same intense feelings of arousal, without having to leave your bed..

So, when you've been playing for a while, why not try one of those random voice chat websites and encourage her to chat and flirt with a stranger while you're just using the toy on her? Encouraging her by telling her how hot she sounds while she's talking to him, if she enjoys hearing his moans, and seeing if she cums even harder than normal with twice as much attention?

[armyguyot1]

'Welcome to the forum BritishBull2k25.

[BritishBull2k25]

'Welcome to the forum BritishBull2k25.

Thank you, I'm having fun on here.