Looking for advice

[Not now not ever]

Hi
I'm new to this site so I would like to introduce myself. I am a 60 yo professional man been married to my beautiful wife for 30 years now. She is a pretty Asian type professional 56 yo. Our sex life has had some good times and not so good times but recently it has virtually died. My wife is very fit due to regular exercise and still looks great. I see her get a lot of admiring looks from men and I know she loves it. I have jokingly suggested she gets a younger lover but I don't get a positive response from her. Can anyone help me with how to move forward with this I think she would like to have a younger lover but probably feels I wouldn't really approve

[armyguyot1]

Welcome to the forum Not now not ever .

[Pufferfish]

Well, you're very likely to not be very far off the mark. It's a pretty common sense thing that a woman is going to deny wanting to be with another guy in the same way a guy would deny the "do these pants make me look fat" question. It has obvious "this is a trap, I need to avoid this" kind of energy. On the other hand, you know it's perfectly logical that she would enjoy actually doing it.

So how do you go about it? It's actually fairly simple, you just have to fully trust each other and be honest with each other. It's just scary, but it's actually not that difficult. Talk about wanting to improve your sex lives, ask her questions as to what she would enjoy. Tell her things you would enjoy, including her being with another guy. You'll have to be the one to lay your cards on the table first. If you can't, she certainly won't. The more you trust her with the truth, the more she'll begin to trust you with the truth. Just continue that until there's no more secrets.

[KevKev]

What caused your sex life to die?

[nks]

I cannot give much advice, but I understand how you feel. In the past, my wife admitted to having fantasies of a younger lover. She said that the fantasies make her feel young and desirable. I support her desires, but she says she is not interested for real. Sometimes fantasies are fantasies, and our wives are reluctant to move forward. However, I know how as a husband you would want her to have great sex with the right lover(s). For women, sometimes it is difficult to make the actual move. Perhaps someone good comes along and then you can encourage her to get into his bed. What I do is that from time to time I tell her about my desires and let her know that if she has someone she likes then I am not against her getting to know him more intimately.

[Carrienlarry]

We use to discuss the fantasy as we had sex. Calling each other different names. Talking about different using and sharing scenarios. The. It started when I watched his friend staying with us jerk off. Then I jerked him off and he came on my boobs. That broke the ice and went from there

[BritishCuckCpl]

What Pufferfish said.

A woman worries about losing her man particularly since men are often driven by sexual urges to cheat and look for younger more attractive women, so when a man asks his wife about bringing in a young male lover a common instinctive reaction is that this is some thinly veiled excuse to sleep with other women. He can't really mean this, there must be a catch. He wants other women or maybe this is an excuse to set me up so he can leave me, or even if by some miracle that isn't the case then he'd get jealous and leave me anyway.

It's the psychology and lack of self confidence that comes from couples never really opening up and being honest together.

The only way I feel is to be open and honest, talk from the heart. Don't make demands or have expectations, just spill your heart out and she is likely to listen if she feels you're being earnest. Let her know first that you have something you need to tell her and that you're telling her out of love and admiration and because you don't want to hide anything from her, you respect her too much to keep secrets.

Then tell her about how you feel and that you expect nothing from her, you are just telling her so she knows and understands. Maybe it could be something to enjoy together in bed as a fantasy, add a little spice and excitement. I mean fantasy roleplay together is a common first step for people.