I'm Ky, and I'm a cuck-oholic

[Ky_Da]

Hey all,

Lots of doom and gloom. Probably deserved. Sometimes makes me want to stop reading, or at least skip the comments. But I force myself to read them - got to take the good with the bad. I wish I could write a happily-ever-after scene and leave it alone, but life doesn't always work out that way. I'm in the middle of it. In the thick of it. This scene describes the most recent interaction. I read through my post a couple of times to edit mistakes, and it feels grittier to me than my usual posts. I can't say it surprises me. It's how I've been feeling as I try to steer through some hard turns.


I sat in the dim living room, the lamp’s flicker throwing jagged shadows across the walls. It was late—too damn late for the kids to be up, too late for Joanna to still be hanging around downstairs. She’d slipped off to bed, leaving the house quiet except for the radiator’s low hum. I perched on the sofa, hands locked tight, staring at the empty armchair where Jaimee would plant herself. She stormed in, heels snapping hard against the hardwood, her scent slamming into me—perfume mixed with something darker, muskier. That post-Sipho glow clung to her, cheeks flushed, eyes too fucking bright. I hated how it twisted me up, hated how it still got me hard even then.

“Jaimee,” I said, keeping my voice low, fighting for steady. “We need to talk. Sit down.”

She froze mid-step, one hand on her hip, the other brushing back hair that’d grown wild—long and thick now, spilling halfway down her ass. “Bloody hell, Ky, what’s this then? Another midnight confessional?” Her British snap hit sharp, all educated and worn out, as she dropped into the armchair, legs crossed, skirt riding up to flash that spade on her ankle. “Go on, then. Out with it.”

I sucked in a breath, tension coiling tight in my chest. I’d been feeling her slip away, the spiral spinning out, and it scared the hell out of me. “I think you’re getting carried away,” I said, leaning forward, elbows digging into my knees. “This thing with Sipho, with Lexi—it’s out of control. You’re gone more than you’re here, and I don’t know how to pull us back.”

She stiffened, lips thinning into a hard line. “Carried away? That’s rich, coming from you,” she fired back. “I tell you all the time how I feel, Ky. I like who I am. I don’t hide that from you, do I?” Her voice stayed steady, but a quiver hid underneath, daring me to push.

“I know you say that,” I shot back. “You’re clear as hell about it. But Sipho—he’s got you hooked, Jaimee. You’re addicted to him, to this whole damn game. You can’t see it, but I can. You’re not you anymore. We need to start pulling back.”

Her laugh cut sharp, bitter as hell. “Addicted? Oh, sod off with that, Ky. Yes, I’m mad for it—for him. But don’t act like this isn’t what we want. We agree to this, don’t we? You sit there, cock in hand, begging me to push it further. And I do. For us.” She uncrossed her legs, leaned in, mirroring me, eyes burning into mine.

I swallowed hard, her truth hitting like a punch. “You’re right,” I admitted, voice catching. “We did agree. I push you into his arms, tell you to go for it. But this—it’s more than I bargain for. You’re not just playing Lexi now; she’s taking over. You’re neglecting the kids, Jaimee. They barely see you. I’m stuck here, holding it together, and I don’t know how much more I can take.”

That landed. Her jaw tightened, and for a second, I caught a flicker of guilt in her eyes. She glanced out the window, into the dark, then swung back to me. “I like my Lexi side, Ky,” she said, softer but firm. “I tell you that too, don’t I? Something shifted when you let him mark me—those bloody queen of spades tattoos. When that ink hit, it stopped being a game. I felt it, deep down. Like Sipho owned me owns me in a way I can’t shake. And I don’t want to.”

Her words slammed into me, raw and dirty, that posh accent wrapping the filth in velvet. Lust and dread knotted up tight, choking me. “God, Jaimee,” I muttered, raking a hand through my hair. “You say you’re okay with that? With the world knowing you’re his—his whore, his slut for that black cock? That’s who you want to be?”

She didn’t flinch. “Yes,” she said, voice steady, proud as hell. “I am. I know what I am, Ky. A whore, a slut—his slut. And I’ve come to terms with it. I don’t care if the world knows, because it’s honest. It’s me. When he fucks me, when I’m with him, I feel alive in a way I never have before. You’ve given me that freedom, and I love you for it.”

I felt the ground slipping, but I pushed on, desperation clawing at me. “I get that it’s you,” I said, voice cracking. “I see how much you love it—hell, it’s why I’m still here, still riding this insane train. But it’s not just you anymore. The kids—they need their mom. I need my wife. Lexi’s swallowing you whole, and I’m scared shitless I’m losing you to her. To him.”

She softened, just a bit. Her shoulders sagged, and she let out a long, heavy sigh. “I don’t want to lose us either, Ky,” she said, quieter now. “You’re my anchor, you always are. But Lexi—she’s not some demon I can just banish. She’s me, too. I can’t unfeel what I feel with Sipho. It’s bloody intoxicating, and I’m not ready to let it go.”

“I’m not asking you to kill Lexi,” I said, voice dropping, reaching for her hand. “I’m asking you to pull back. Balance it. Or we’ll have to end the ride. We need limits. You’re my wife, Jaimee, not just his toy. I need you here, with me, with the kids. Can you do that?”

She stared at me, eyes drilling into mine, a war raging behind them. Her fingers twitched, brushing that long hair back again, like she needed something to do, something to hold onto. She shifted in the chair, uncrossing then recrossing her legs, the spade tattoo flashing again—a taunt, a reminder. Silence stretched, thick and heavy, her breath hitching once, twice. She looked down at her hands, nails digging into her palms, then up at me, uncertainty flickering where defiance had burned. “Alright, Ky,” she said finally, voice low, almost breaking. She paused, swallowing hard, her gaze darting to the floor, then back. “I… I’ll try. I suppose I can cut back—fewer nights, more time at home.” Her hand lifted, hesitated, then dropped to her lap, fidgeting with the hem of her skirt. “I’m a rubbish mum lately, aren’t I?” Another pause, longer this time, her lips parting like she wanted to argue but couldn’t. “I see that now, yeah? I do. But—” She stopped, eyes narrowing, then softening again, the fight draining out slow. “Don’t ask me to give him up. Not yet. I need him, need this, and you know you do too, I think.” Her voice trembled at the end, caught between surrender and clinging to that edge, her head tilting slightly as if testing me, waiting for me to push harder.

I exhaled, a weight lifting but far from gone. “Okay,” I said. “It’s a start. We figure it out—start pulling back, but don’t let it sink us. I’m in this with you, Jaimee, but I need you.”

She reached out, her hand grabbing mine, squeezing hard. “I need you too,” she said. “But don’t think this means Lexi’s going anywhere. She’s here, and I bloody love her. We just… rein her in a bit, yeah?”

“Yeah,” I said, feeling no relief from the conversation and an ache in my chest. “Rein her in. We ride this out together.”

Jaimee stood up slow, like she was testing the air between us, and fuck, I couldn’t look away. Her outfit screamed Lexi—slutty as hell, barely clinging to her frame. The top was this sheer black thing, cropped high, leaving her midriff bare and those thick nipple rings poking through like they were begging for attention. The skirt—damn, if you could call it that—was a tight, shiny leather number, so short it didn’t even cover the tops of her thighs, the hem riding up to flash the spade tattoo on her ankle and a peek of the “QOS” ink creeping up her hip. Her legs gleamed in fishnet stockings, ripped at the knees, and those heels—red, sky-high, scuffed from God-knows-what—clicked as she shifted her weight. That long hair, thick and wild, swung down her ass, brushing the edge of the skirt like a tease.

She leaned down, her tits practically spilling out, and pressed a soft kiss to my forehead—gentle, almost sweet, but her breath smelled of sex and sweat. Then she straightened, smirking, her voice dripping with that mix of street-whore grit and posh polish. “I need a shower, Ky,” she said. “I’m positively knackered, and frankly, I’m leaking Sipho’s spunk out me fanny somethin’ dreadful. And—oh, sod it—Brian’s jizz is still dribbling out me arse. Quite the sticky predicament, innit?”

I froze, her words hitting me like a gut punch. My cock twitched hard, betraying me again, and I just stared as she turned, hips swaying, leaving me there with the ache and the heat and the fucking mess of it all.

I sat there, Jaimee’s words still ringing in my ears, her scent lingering like a taunt. Temptation clawed at me—Joanna, upstairs, that tight redhead pussy waiting to swallow me whole. I could’ve gone to her, fucked her silly, let her moans drown out the mess in my head. But guilt stabbed through me, sharp and cold. That’d just be using her, a quick fix, and I knew I had to shift gears—less Joanna, less Lexi, more Jaimee, the real Jaimee, if I could still find her.

I pushed off the sofa, legs heavy, and ignored the pull toward Joanna’s room. She’d welcome me, spread those pale thighs with that sweet grin, but I turned away, following Jaimee’s trail instead. Her heels echoed up the stairs, drawing me to our bedroom, then the bathroom. I stepped in as she started undressing, peeling off that slutty getup like shedding a second skin. The sheer black crop top slipped over her head, her full tits bouncing free, nipple rings glinting—thick, silver, 8-gauge beasts tugging at her plump, pink nipples. Red bite marks dotted her chest, fresh and angry, Sipho’s teeth stamped into her pale flesh. The leather mini skirt slid down next, pooling at her ankles, revealing the “QOS” tattoo on her hip, stark black against her skin, and that chain of ink running down her spine, delicate yet defiant. Her fishnets came off last, ripped and sticky, leaving her bare except for the clitoral hood piercing winking between her thighs, still slick with what she’d bragged about leaking.

She was beautiful—fuck, breathtaking—curves soft and feminine, skin flushed from sex, those tattoos and piercings screaming Lexi while her body still whispered Jaimee. I couldn’t just watch. I stripped quick, stepped into the shower as she turned on the water, steam curling around us. “Let me help,” I muttered, grabbing the soap, running it over her shoulders, down her arms. My hands slid to her breasts, lathering them slow, feeling the weight of them, the bite marks rough under my fingers.

She giggled, a soft, girlish sound, tilting her head back so her wet hair clung to her back. “Oh, Ky, I need a proper scrub lower down, don’t I? Me fanny’s a right mess—Sipho’s spunk’s still sloshing about.” Her voice danced, crude and posh, a teasing lilt that made my cock jump.

I swallowed hard, hands trembling as I worked the soap lower, washing her belly, her hips, then between her legs. She sighed, leaning into me, her skin warm and slippery. I cleaned her thoroughly—her pussy, her ass—fingers tracing every curve, every mark, the water rinsing away the evidence of her night. She turned in my arms, eyes half-lidded, and murmured, “Thanks, love. You’re too good to me. Why don’t you pop off to Joanna now? You look fit to burst, poor darling—she’d sort you right out.”

I froze, water pounding my back. “You asking if I want to fuck her?” I said, voice thick.

She grinned, playful, her fingers brushing my chest. “Maybe… or maybe you want to fuck me. Right here, all wet and willing.”

My breath hitched. “Yeah,” I admitted, “I do. Damn, I do.”

She leaned closer, lips grazing my ear, voice dropping to a husky purr. “It’ll cost you another tattoo, Ky. Sipho’s rule, innit? But I’d make it worth every bloody prick of the needle—shag you till you’re seeing stars, me tight little cunt squeezing you dry. You’d love that, wouldn’t you?”

I groaned, torn between the ache and the edge. “A hand job’ll do,” I managed, barely holding it together.

She smirked, knowing damn well what she did to me, and wrapped her delicate fingers around my cock. “Alright, love,” she said, stroking slow at first, then faster, her grip firm and slick. “You’re such a good boy, aren’t you? Letting me be his filthy slag while you wank off to it.” Her voice was pure cuckold honey, posh and dirty, her thumb teasing the tip until I lost it—cum spurting hard, splattering the glass in seconds.

A shadow crossed her face, something soft and sad, like melancholy sneaking in. She leaned her head against my arm, wet hair sticking to my skin, and sighed. “I love you, Ky,” she said, giving my softening dick a gentle squeeze. “But I don’t know if I can ever go back to just this, yeah? Me heart’s yours, but me cunt—it’s his now, proper fucked and owned. Reckon I’m too far gone for anything less than that big black cock stretching me wide.”

I stood there, chest heaving, her words sinking in—love and loss and lust all tangled up. The shower steamed around us, her body pressed close, and I knew the ride wasn’t over, not by a long shot.

[rascalnvixen]

A very interesting update, Ky. I can relate to your situation with Jaimee, but on a whole lower level. Continuing to keep the communications open on a regular basis is, I think is the best. It sounds like you haven't been doing that very much lately. Maybe I'm not understanding the time frames well. Just keep talking about it, reminding her of her responsibilities at home with you and the kids. I think there is a chance she can withdrawal from the intensity and get to a different place. I doubt that she will ever be monogamous again, at least for the next 20 -20 years, and you probably don't want that either, but you two will have to find a different way for her to satisfy her Lexi needs. Good luck!!!!

Rascal

[venus-can99]

Thanks for update describing the intense emotional highs and lows, fear and excitement from both of you. Wishing both of you the very best as you both try to pull back slowly

[Goodboy66]

Wow, you've sort of agreed that she'll try to spend a bit more time with the kids. Living life fully for a kink and fuck any family values. If I was Wade reading this, I'd be flying over to check how my kids are, mind you he probably cares for them as little as the three adults looking after them.

I know we are not allowed to call out a thread as fiction but I hope this is.

[coastalkid]

Thanks again for the update. I don't think the "dear, we need to talk" accomplished anything well, maybe some. Reading your post felt like two steps forward and two steps back.

The fact that she suggested having Joanna take care of your needs before she offered you her pussy with Sipho's restrictions/consequences speaks volumes. She knows you think the tattoos have gone too far so, she didn't offer herself without reminding you of the cost. Jaimee seems fully aware that you want to dial it back and she let you know that her pussy is his and she can't/won't stop. Even her own admission of being a "rubbish mum" doesn't give her pause to consider the potential for lasting damage.

Wasn't there a timeline/deadline for this game to end? If Jaimee can't or won't quit, what does that mean when that timeline is reached? What will happen when Sipho finds a new conquest? What will happen if he drops Lexi and moves on to the next subject that offers the thrill of converting another innocent young attractive wife? Sipho doesn't sound like the type to restrict himself. He sounds like the kind of guy that runs thing to a natural end, like he won't quit until you do.

When Jaimee suggested Joanna for your relief, if you'd gone Jaimee would have dodged another day of having to deal with your reluctance. She'd know you were easily manipulated and could be appeased so simply. Even though you bartered down for the hand job, Jaimee knows you are serious. She also knows she can work on your weaknesses in the same way Sipho works on hers.

The only thing I see accomplished with your "we need to talk" talk is that Jaimee is aware of your growing reluctance and it is in her head now. It may not be a significant voice in her head but if she has anything left in her that values you, that voice will grow. When people talk about regrets they always say it's about the things they "didn't" do. In Jaimee's case, she may have regrets about "she didn't" stop herself in time. Sure, you've had your part in it but ultimately it's the woman that decides if she fucks or not. Jaimee is in a distortion field, a cloud, a sex induced obfuscation.

[elina]

Dear Ky,

Thanks for a very honest update.

There are some conditions affecting the human mind where there is a rule of thumb saying that you will need as much time to fully recover as you spent digging into it in the first place.

I am not sure if this is a good rulle of thumb for Jaimee/yours condition, but I do think that you will have to stay persistent and keep working with Jaimee to gradually help Her get off what is now clearly an addiction to Sipho and the other BBC's he shares Her with.

If I remember correctly, you and Jaimee have an agreement (also with Sipho?) to pause from all of this and go on vacation sometimes later this spring. Is that agreement still on? And how far down the road does that break come up?

I think you handled the conversation with Jaimee that you described in your most recent post, not attacking Her, clearly taking responsibility for your own part in this, while persistently appealing to Jaimee in a non-confrontational way. Best off all, not giving in to Lexi's offer to fuck Her and accepting yet another tatto was absolutely critical. I think if you had given in at that point, the whole purpose of the conversation would have been lost. Continuing that approach will probably be critical to succeed with helping Jaimee come back and Lexi to gradually claim a smaller part of Her.

Sincerely
elina

[scdiver]

Any drug addict will always say that they can handle it. That they like the way the drugs make them feel. That is until the crash.
Jaimee already promised no more tattoos, yet she now has a chain down her spine and the name Lexi on her neck.
Ky did Jaimee consult you.before getting these tattoos like she promised?
Like any addict, Jaimee tells you that she loves you and her family. Does she really show it or are you being used as a convenient place to live between gang bangs.
Ky, you keep realizing that this has gone too far then you let Jaimee dictate what is going to happen going forward.
One question. Is Sipho still sexually torturing Jaimee?
You are just pushing the pain down and the road and the pain will be worse.
Good luck and keep writing.

[mick_flow]

Hi Ky, - Thanks for the honest update, raw and honest - on my personal experience the more honest the post, the more support the community here provides.

I won't lie, what you described was equal parts as gutting as it was erotic. I think you sensed that too, at least based my reading of your update.

I know with my wife, bringing in the time with the children was a key part in getting getting her to take a step back and think about where she was spending time. It seems true with Jaimee. i think that pause when she started to think about her time as a mother was important. I didn't have a Joanna to help with the kids, so when my wife was away I was with my kids and I'd arrange a day our, or an evening out at the weekend. Museums, movies, etc.

My personal take is that it is really really hard in a long term engagement with another person to impossible to separate love and sex. It's natural that you end up developing emotionally connections with the person you are having intimate sexual relationships with. The inverse is also true, and you see marriages fall apart when the intimacy is lost (see reddit's r/deadbedroom for example).

Another approach would be to expand upon her proposition, she pushed you to Joanna, and then confirmed that she physically wouldn't want you. (Totally cuckold erotic btw, as you pointed out). But there was that point when you were aroused by Jaimee but your desire was for Joanna. That too was telling, where you had to try to refocus on Jaimee.

I think you did awesome in getting her to back down on the intensity with Sipho. For my wife it was a gradual withdrawal too, so that's a good start. Keep an eye on it. If you need to push her again you could try to play forward what would happen if you continue the way things had been going? - Would you guys just become friends? Are you still lovers? - If you desire Joanna when aroused, and Lexi / Jaimee wants Sipho...

Are you bringing Joanna with you to Florida? - As a child minder, it would be awesome to give you and Jaimee some time out alone for a child free drink / meal?

[viking53]

Thanks for the update Ky. As long as you let your own lust through, you will never be able to pull back Jaimee/Lexi (although now she is clearly Lexi/Jaimee) and stop her continuing down this course. Her threat of getting more tattoos if you had penetrative sex with her was clearly incorrect as there are several tattoos that have appeared recently without consulting you. It's more likely that the "punishment" for Lexi if she had had penetrative sex with you would probably have been breast enlargement at Sipho's expense.

[fgare]

This character development is becoming somewhat predictable. The person pretending to be a husband makes a weak attempt to put his foot down, and salvage what remains of his marriage. Ultimately, nothing was resolved because the person assigned the role of wife has confessed she loves being a slut, and being a slut for her pimp, more than she loves the person she calls husband. Above all, she's supposed to be some sort of excellent mother figure. Yet, she not only consistently chooses to be with her pimp and have gang bangs instead of be with her family, but her kids are only an afterthought for her. Her response to the accusation of not being home enough for her family? "I'll try to be home more instead of out fucking strangers. Maybe." In what world would a truly caring mother say such tenuous things like that when it comes to taking care of her children? The ending being what it always is with the timid husband being placated with a hand job while being told he's truly no longer what she needs or wants. She wants her pimp, not her husband. I'd wager if Ky_Da packed his bags and left with Joanna, Jaimee would immediately move in with Sipho and be collared full time then leashed to a pole for all of Sipho's friends and clients to use.

It is ironic, though. Jaimee wanted the freedom to explore. She wanted to "be free" of her roles as wife/mother. She freely explored and then chose to become a literal sex slave. Key word being slave, antithesis of a free person and freedom. All the while the pretend husband allowed it, and she has no qualms about throwing it in his face anytime Ky_Da expresses reservations. "You allowed Sipho to mark me." "You have no say in this anymore, you gave me to Sipho." The Jaimee character used to at least be likeable.

[mundyman]

It is sad the every time Ky says “this is it, in putting my foot down!”, Jaimie throws the BS that it’s HIS fault that HE allowed all this to happen. That Ky pushed her into his arms, that Ky allowed the tattoos.
And then he backs down.
Rather than standing tall and strong and reminding her that yes he allowed certain things to happen, that HE encouraged certain behaviors, but he did not sign up for it to get to this point. For things to become so extreme!!!
She is bullying and gaslighting Ky at this point, and he’s laying down and taking it.

[mick_flow]

Honestly, it’s hard. You can’t “put your foot down”. Why? - because if you do you just push your wife away. She’s emotionally caught up with another person… and did it, with what she thought was her husbands blessing. Yeah maybe she is carried away with it. But you have to get your wife to see where things are going and the danger before the direction changes.

It’s a slow process. It takes time. Others have brought up the parallels with addiction, I can see that too - Jaimee needs to see the issue before she’ll change.

And did Ky push?! And did jaimee pull… of course they did… they both go into this… it’ll take time to get back out, and it’s baby steps… and that’s ok, actually a good thing…

Put yourself in Jaimee’s shoes, she’s put herself out there with her husbands blessing, she feels like she’s doing all the right things, making sure she gets him videos, spends time teasing him, and she leans and and enjoys it, only to have her husband ask her to stop. It’s emotional exhausting too. All go. Then all atop. Then all go. Etc …

But you can see Lexi / Jaimee becoming more confident with Ky. at least in what Ky’s telling us. When he asked her to slow last time, there was a moment of sadness, of ok, if you want. Now though, it was different, it was more defiant, and she told him how she feels, knowing it turns him on, and she pushed him, and he despite himself enjoyed it.

It’s a slow dance as the both navigate this.

[scdiver]

I am willing to bet real money that Jaimee will not go with Ky to Florida. Jaimee will come up with some excuse, but the bottom line is that she can't go for two weeks without getting gang fucked.
Anybody willing to bet?

[scdiver]

I am willing to bet real money that Jaimee will not go with Ky to Florida. Jaimee will come up with some excuse, but the bottom line is that she can't go for two weeks without getting gang fucked.
Anybody willing to bet?

[scdiver]

Sorry about the double post

[venus-can99]

Sorry about the double post

Why can't you delete the second post? Just curious

[elina]

Sorry about the double post

Why can't you delete the second post? Just curious

Yes you can mark it for deletion and provide the info that it is a double post.
I think the Admins needs to delete it, but they will if requested.

[tojanman]

The only way Jaimee will slow down is if Sipho agrees to back down a bit and I have little confidence that he’ll do that. At this point he controls Lexi completely. He can make any demand he wants and Lexi will comply.

[Cuckcuckgoose1]

Well Ky...if she wants to be Lexi full time and doesn't care who knows about it then there is no need for anonymity any longer. Ask her to join OHW and get verified. She can share her journey with those that understand the lifestyle. She can even start an OF page and share her world to her loyal fans. I'd sign up in a millisecond.

[veub]

At least with this post Ky admitted that he doesn't give a shit about the kids any more than she or Sipho do. He admits he wants her to continue in her path and that it excites me.
He is more of a problem for the kids than she or Sipho are. He's the one keeping them in this environment. He could easily make plans to move them back to the states to get out of this situation. He could toss her out. Instead he begs her to "start pulling back." Why? Because he loves this.
He also knows that if he takes any action he won't be able to feed his addiction which is more important than the kids.
I guess he figures since the twins aren't his (is the daughter?) he doesn't have to protect them.
It really doesn't matter anyway. It is clear that Ky is getting bored with sharing this story and he will soon wrap it up with a tearful reunion. Then next year we'll get another trip into cuckold heaven.

[mundyman]

I’m curious as to what type of affection Jaimie and Sipho share with each other. What words and actions do they give to each other. Yes he treats her as the white she’s become, but every Master loves his Sub, and I’m curious how they show that when they are alone.

[mundyman]

I’m curious as to what type of affection Jaimie and Sipho share with each other. What words and actions do they give to each other. Yes he treats her as the white she’s become, but every Master loves his Sub, and I’m curious how they show that when they are alone.

[veub]

every Master loves his Sub.

Does every pimp love his whore? That's all she is for him. And Ky loves it.

[lkh96]

Jesus Christ don't fuck up the kids. Today it's your marriage, the next day will be your kids. Remember you thought you two had it all figured out and look where you're now.
If this story is true, the kids deserves better parents. Clearly not a dad who is an enabler and pretty much spineless, and a mum with unresolved childhood trauma who rather than work on it takes it out on her mom by being an independent spirit aka a whore.
Stop looking for jaimee in your wife. She said it herself, she loves being Lexi. She IS Lexi.
(OR maybe Ky is a skillful story teller and we will have a happy ending after all.)

[txrockdog]

Man y’all really know how to make a guy want to keep posting. Nothing says “keep posting, we are here to support you” like immediately attacking the guy for not doing what you would have done.

Ky, this is probably a good time to remind you that you can mute those you are tired of being insulted by using the “foe” tool. I understand that everybody has their ways they think they would handle your situation, but nobody sees what your day to day life is and what you do with and for your kids. I know there are folks here that think what you describe as highlights of the hottest and most angst producing incidents are a complete picture of the way that you and Jaimee live 24/7. Keep doing what you can to be the anchor for Jaimee.

Anchor really is a interesting term to use to describe your role, innit? Sometimes anchors are used to stop a ship in a storm from being dragged into the rocks, while others are simply used to slow the drift of boat being blown in a direction by the wind. Other still are used to fix an object in a single position you want it to stay, like a buoy marking the entrance to a channel.

Do you feel like maybe you and Sipho and Jaimee each have different ideas of what your function is as an anchor? Maybe for Jaimee you are the anchor tethering her to where home is, letting her swing any direction in the tide but always keeping her attached to the ones she loves? Maybe Sipho sees you as a drift anchor, keeping her drifting along in the currents of your life and not letting her get blown off course by various gusts of winds you encounter. And maybe you see yourself as that emergency anchor deployed to keep Jaimee from being destroyed against the rocks in a storm of lust driven impulses; always questioning whether the strength of your tether will be enough to hold her fast against the crashing waves headed for the rocks.

Understanding how you each see what the role of being “her anchor” really means might be an enlightening discussion to have with Jaimee next time you catch her clearheaded, and not dressed as Lexi with sperm from multiple men dripping down her thighs and the emotions and neurochemical fog from the subspace and orgasms clouding her ability to express herself. I also do think you need to talk seriously about what role drugs might be playing in her “addiction” to Sipho, and whether she would be completely able to ensure that she hasn’t been drugged without her knowledge at times.