I'm Ky, and I'm a cuck-oholic

[scarlettscuck]

Ky - thanks for sharing your lives with us. Wishing you and your family the very best future.
Take care!

[scdiver]

I wonder how many marriages and lives Sipho has ruined. Now he can add one more marriage and five more lives to his tally. Ky, the three kids and Jaimee. This guy is more evil and manipulative than Pete, the guy that ruined my first marriage.
Ky I wish you well and I hope you find the strength to end the shit hole of a marriage that you are in. Get help, you can't fix anything untill you get your own head straight. Stop letting Jaimee dictate how you will live. Stop letting Jaimee use you for a bed and breakfasts between her sex bouts. Most of all, get away from her addiction source, Sipho.
I don't know if you have the strength to do this but I do know that you will not find true happiness until you do.

Good luck, I will keep you in my prayers.

[txrockdog]

I wonder how many marriages and lives Sipho has ruined. Now he can add one more marriage and five more lives to his tally. Ky, the three kids and Jaimee. This guy is more evil and manipulative than Pete, the guy that ruined my first marriage.
Ky I wish you well and I hope you find the strength to end the shit hole of a marriage that you are in. Get help, you can't fix anything untill you get your own head straight. Stop letting Jaimee dictate how you will live. Stop letting Jaimee use you for a bed and breakfasts between her sex bouts. Most of all, get away from her addiction source, Sipho.
I don't know if you have the strength to do this but I do know that you will not find true happiness until you do.

Good luck, I will keep you in my prayers.

Good lord, let it go already! You already managed to run him off by insulting him using your own recalled trauma to project your failed marriage onto his. If anybody needs professional help, it is you. You clearly aren’t over what happened in your first marriage and are projecting your own perceived failings on to Ky. Just let it rest. You have run him off and none of us will get the chance to find out if Ky is successful in unwinding Jaimee from Sipho’s grip. I wish Ky would have just put you and a few others who couldn’t resist the urge to insult him and his wife on ignore instead of bailing out entirely, but here we are. Hope you are happy with what you accomplished…

[all4fun]

Farewell Ky. Likely a journey that should never had started, but safe voyages my friend wherever the winds of life blow you next. I leave you with this.

Our anchor's too big for our ship,

So we're sittin' here tryin' to think.

If we leave it behind we'll be lost.

If we haul it on board, we will sink.

If we sit and keep talkin' about it,

It will soon be too late for our trip.

It sure can be rough on a sailor

When the anchor's too big for the ship.

- Shel Silverstein

[cyw]

Hi Ky,
I feel sorry and bad to see you stop posting for now. I can see this decision coming after reading so many negative comments from some readers criticizing, judging you and Jaimee's actions, predicting outcomes that even you don't know and still fighting. It's not worth wasting time here instead of focusing on fixing the problem. I have confidence you can do it again like the other times with Derrick and Wade. Share an update when you are ready. I hope to see you and Jaimee coming back stronger than ever.

[veub]

I sat there, staring at this thread, and it hit me—I’m done. I know I’ve got problems, fucked-up knots I need to untangle, and I’m going to work on that, figure out how to climb out of this hole. But I’ve hit the end of what I want to spill here; the judgmental pricks slinging their sanctimonious shit, acting like their lives are spotless, have sucked the fun out of it. I don’t enjoy this anymore—sharing personal bits just to get sneered at. In the end, it’s a matter of wanting something better, a life where lust doesn’t choke me every damn day, and I need to make some changes to get there. I’m hoping Jaimee’ll come with me, that we can claw our way back to something real together, but either way, this is where I sign off. I know I’ve tried before, but this one will take. I won’t be coming back, so I wish all those who’ve sent well-wishes, positivity, and optimism the best. Live your best lives, seek joy over happiness, and meaning over fleeting thrills. This is what I'm going to seek. Goodbye.

The highlighted comment really struck me. For months all he has been posting about is his own concern and unhappiness only occasionally relieved by his sexual excitement. I can't imagine how this was supposed to be "fun" for him to share what seemingly is the destruction of his, his wife's and his kids' life.
If that was supposed to be fun for him either he needs some serious therapy, or his imagination has run dry.

[Cgi69]

I wonder how many marriages and lives Sipho has ruined. Now he can add one more marriage and five more lives to his tally. Ky, the three kids and Jaimee. This guy is more evil and manipulative than Pete, the guy that ruined my first marriage.
Ky I wish you well and I hope you find the strength to end the shit hole of a marriage that you are in. Get help, you can't fix anything untill you get your own head straight. Stop letting Jaimee dictate how you will live. Stop letting Jaimee use you for a bed and breakfasts between her sex bouts. Most of all, get away from her addiction source, Sipho.
I don't know if you have the strength to do this but I do know that you will not find true happiness until you do.

Good luck, I will keep you in my prayers.

Good lord, let it go already! You already managed to run him off by insulting him using your own recalled trauma to project your failed marriage onto his. If anybody needs professional help, it is you. You clearly aren’t over what happened in your first marriage and are projecting your own perceived failings on to Ky. Just let it rest. You have run him off and none of us will get the chance to find out if Ky is successful in unwinding Jaimee from Sipho’s grip. I wish Ky would have just put you and a few others who couldn’t resist the urge to insult him and his wife on ignore instead of bailing out entirely, but here we are. Hope you are happy with what you accomplished…

Txrockdog. Exactly!!!! Couldn't have said it better myself. Thanks for posting this.

[Tryagain]

Ky...please check in from time to time. Perhaps, barring the negative ones, you can still get some help here as you negotiate your way though things. There are some smart, intelligent, experienced people here. So many have always been rooting for you.

[gfdag]

Ky the negative people tend to be the loudest but there are many that have been quietly enjoying your stories.

Like me!

[user322]

Hi Ky, it might not be easy, but you should try to ignore the negative comments.

I only come here as a reader, and I notice in the various posts I follow that there's a lot of negativity from a certain number of commenters. Most of the time, everything they say is very exaggerated and alarmist, and most of the time, the catastrophic things they predict don't come true at all...

I've noticed this dynamic for a while now, and I find it unfortunate, especially when it comes to people who are just embarking on the adventure, who don't have much experience yet, and who can be frightened by alarmist comments that fall on them as soon as something doesn't go as planned...

So you have to know how to ignore these people (who think they know everything better than couples sharing their life experiences) and only take what's constructive from the comments.

[KHRunner]

Sad to see you go. Hope you'll reconsider as we have enjoyed your journey so far.

[coastalkid]

Sad to see you go. Hope you'll reconsider as we have enjoyed your journey so far.

[realcucklife]

Such a shame to see you check out.
There are still those of us that love to read your adventures, that I only wish that I had the courage to walk.
Remember if your not hurting someone, how can it be wrong?

[path22]

Hi Ky, I totally agree with Txrockdog, Cyw, User322, Realcucklife, and many others. I still can't believe there are people who, behind the anonymity of the keyboard, can insult, abuse, and assume a lot of things Ky hasn't said (like drugs of all kinds, slavery, prostitution, etc.). We are readers and can politely express our opinions without attacking or belittling others. If we don't like it and disagree, we won't read the thread, but we should allow others to hear from an excellent writer like Ky about his story with Jaimee. Where is freedom of expression?
Sorry for my English; it's not my native language. We hope to read you again, Ky.

[FamilyCuckold]

Hi Ky, I totally agree with Txrockdog, Cyw, User322, Realcucklife, and many others. I still can't believe there are people who, behind the anonymity of the keyboard, can insult, abuse, and assume a lot of things Ky hasn't said (like drugs of all kinds, slavery, prostitution, etc.). We are readers and can politely express our opinions without attacking or belittling others. If we don't like it and disagree, we won't read the thread, but we should allow others to hear from an excellent writer like Ky about his story with Jaimee. Where is freedom of expression?
Sorry for my English; it's not my native language. We hope to read you again, Ky.

Adding my notes of support to you Ky, sorry you had to endure such negativity and outright insults, especially to your wife. Take care of your family, love lots, and live well.

[mundyman]

It sounds like Ky is at his wits end and has had enough….of everything.
Enough of Sipho and the boys
Enough of the tattoos, especially the tattoos
Enough of Lexi
Enough of having to be with Joanna rather than Jaimie
Enough of not being intimate with Jaimie
Enough of Jaimie leaving to go be a slut and not a Mom
Enough of there not being the normal family time that me he craves with his wife and kids
Enough of the lifestyle
Enough of Jaimie continuing to run down this rabbit hole at light speed, the changes to her coming so fast he hardly recognizes her anymore
And then to top it off
Enough of the random shitty comments are on here.
I’m sure he comes here to vent, but also to get some support and understanding.
His last couple of posts continued to show his developing frustration and despair as he begins to realize his old life, and his wife, are gone forever. If he wants to stay together with Jaimie he’s going to have to come to grips with Jaimie’s physical and personality changes. She has become someone I’m sure he’s never thought of her becoming. She always was slutty and submissive, but also able to keep it somewhat under the radar of everyone else. Not anymore.

Good luck Ky. I wish you, all of your family, all the best and good luck as you sort this all out.
I hope you decide to come back and update us in the future after things have settled down.

[subtoall]

I sat there, staring at this thread, and it hit me—I’m done. I know I’ve got problems, fucked-up knots I need to untangle, and I’m going to work on that, figure out how to climb out of this hole. But I’ve hit the end of what I want to spill here; the judgmental pricks slinging their sanctimonious shit, acting like their lives are spotless, have sucked the fun out of it. I don’t enjoy this anymore—sharing personal bits just to get sneered at. In the end, it’s a matter of wanting something better, a life where lust doesn’t choke me every damn day, and I need to make some changes to get there. I’m hoping Jaimee’ll come with me, that we can claw our way back to something real together, but either way, this is where I sign off. I know I’ve tried before, but this one will take. I won’t be coming back, so I wish all those who’ve sent well-wishes, positivity, and optimism the best. Live your best lives, seek joy over happiness, and meaning over fleeting thrills. This is what I'm going to seek. Goodbye.

The highlighted comment really struck me.

Apparently not enough to generate the humility necessary to recognize that you are one of the sanctimonious pricks he's talking about.

[Cgi69]

I sat there, staring at this thread, and it hit me—I’m done. I know I’ve got problems, fucked-up knots I need to untangle, and I’m going to work on that, figure out how to climb out of this hole. But I’ve hit the end of what I want to spill here; the judgmental pricks slinging their sanctimonious shit, acting like their lives are spotless, have sucked the fun out of it. I don’t enjoy this anymore—sharing personal bits just to get sneered at. In the end, it’s a matter of wanting something better, a life where lust doesn’t choke me every damn day, and I need to make some changes to get there. I’m hoping Jaimee’ll come with me, that we can claw our way back to something real together, but either way, this is where I sign off. I know I’ve tried before, but this one will take. I won’t be coming back, so I wish all those who’ve sent well-wishes, positivity, and optimism the best. Live your best lives, seek joy over happiness, and meaning over fleeting thrills. This is what I'm going to seek. Goodbye.

The highlighted comment really struck me.

Apparently not enough to generate the humility necessary to recognize that you are one of the sanctimonious pricks he's talking about.

Amen, Subtoall. Completely agree.

[Barti]

I hope everything comes good with Joanna....

[wannabecUKold]

I’m curious as to what type of affection Jaimie and Sipho share with each other. What words and actions do they give to each other. Yes he treats her as the white she’s become, but every Master loves his Sub, and I’m curious how they show that when they are alone.

It appears that Sipho is turning Jaimie into a chav judging by her language.

No, there is an upper class English public school argot/drawl that speaks like that, with cut glass accent. 'sloshing'. Definitely authentic.

[wannabecUKold]

I sat there, staring at this thread, and it hit me—I’m done. I know I’ve got problems, fucked-up knots I need to untangle, and I’m going to work on that, figure out how to climb out of this hole. But I’ve hit the end of what I want to spill here; the judgmental pricks slinging their sanctimonious shit, acting like their lives are spotless, have sucked the fun out of it. I don’t enjoy this anymore—sharing personal bits just to get sneered at. In the end, it’s a matter of wanting something better, a life where lust doesn’t choke me every damn day, and I need to make some changes to get there. I’m hoping Jaimee’ll come with me, that we can claw our way back to something real together, but either way, this is where I sign off. I know I’ve tried before, but this one will take. I won’t be coming back, so I wish all those who’ve sent well-wishes, positivity, and optimism the best. Live your best lives, seek joy over happiness, and meaning over fleeting thrills. This is what I'm going to seek. Goodbye.

Hi Ky_Da

Please don't go. I am sorry that some of the readers here are sanctimonious, which is way out of order.

I hope you will reconsider. Your story is not only absolutely fascinating and beautifully written but also an object lesson for us all. It really is of use to us to understand what is happening.

I think you will be able to pull it back. I think Jaimee will find enough self-will to be able to step back from a break-up and the descent. I can understand that she wants to be true to herself, and Lexi is part of that true self. I think she wants to say to the world that she is a sexual woman, she is not going to suppress her sexuality, she holds her head up high when she announces that she fucks men, strong black men, many of them. She sees no wrong in sex. She has been brought up to say what she believes.

But there is another side and it is harmful: her addiction to sex and probably drugs, and her abandonment of her family, including you. We all fail, but she may be causing real harm and permanent damage to herself and her real relationships. If that happens, she will have great remorse. Let's accept her personality but, in an embrace of love, pull her back from the addictions that are enslaving her. She must be dragged away - doubtless unwillingly - from Sipho, who is her Satan intent on destroying her.

[all4fun]

If we don't like it and disagree, we won't read the thread, but we should allow others to hear from an excellent writer like Ky about his story with Jaimee.

This is an understatement. While there are many fantastic writers on OHW, Ky is hands down my favorite. His posts are always nothing less than captivating, but deeper on another level.

I was lying in bed last night, and I could not help but think about this thread. Granted, the 5mg gummy I ate had ignited my imagination, but nonetheless, I was contemplating this journey and beyond.

Unless contrived from the imagination, the journey of Ky and Jaimee would make for a great case study. The amount of material as it pertains to the human mind and various aspects of development, conditioning, and perception are extraordinary. So much going on, DDNOS, sexual addiction, behavioral conditioning, the ties to African Zulu shamanism, "boarding school syndrome" (look it up peeps, it's a real fucking thing), the codependency. It's been captivating the way Ky has conveyed the actions, intricacies, and emotions of it all.

Selfishly, I had thirsted for Ky to keep posting, everything; the good, the bad, the happy, the sad. Like so many here, I am invested in them and care so much I lay awake thinking about it at night.

Then I wondered why, why am I here, why are we here? Why do we care so much about someone we have never met, do not know, but yet feel we know. I believe many of the sanctimonious and critical comments come from a place of caring, not criticism. People don't want to see Ky and Jaimee hurt. They just have a poor way of communicating it.

I wondered. Is this, all of this what Ky wanted? As Heath Ledger said, "Everyone you meet always asks if you have a career, are married, or own a house as if life was some kind of grocery list. But no one ever asks you if you are happy".

Ky, are you happy?

What else is there? Happiness and time are the only currency that matters. Moments. Then they are gone, we are gone.

The references to the ocean, the anchor, got me thinking about the vastness of the ocean, the most unexplored and unknown place that exists on our virus like human infestation of a planet. It all makes sense, the journey of Ky and Jaimee, the anchor, the vastness of the unknown, beautiful, but often dangerous ocean. It mirrors the depths of the human mind and existence.

This giant rock hurtling through space, through the never ending and expanding infinite galaxy. What does the next pass through this arrangement of molecules and atoms look like? Will we make the same decisions, will we even be the same? The multiverse theory suggests sometimes we will, and sometimes we won't. After all, we have an infinite number of chances, but we don't have the luxury, at least at this level of consciousness, to recall the previous go-rounds.

So, that leaves us this life, the one that is in front of us now. This got me thinking of the path I am on. Gluttony and lust are two of the cardinal sins. Does any of this even matter, is it making me happy? I can no longer answer that.

What about you Ky? I hope you find your happiness, whatever that looks like for you. If that is with Jaimee without Lexi, it will likely take drastic measures so as not to be critical, but she sure sounds pretty far gone (i.e. an emergency move back to the States or elsewhere, and therapy), but it is not an insurmountable task. If that is with Jaimee with Lexi, then this go-round the universe will be an interesting one, and although I have no crystal ball, likely fraught with pain and loss.

Whatever you do my friend, I hope your time is spent in a way that you do not regret, and you find your happiness. I never really pegged you as the "I'm gonna take my ball and go home type of guy" but maybe it is time to do that with Jaimee.

For what it's worth though, thank you.

Thank you for your informative, emotional, insightful, and spellbinding posts over the years, and thank you for helping me on my own journey finally have an epiphany and see the light. Much like the allegory of the cave, I feel like I am making my escape and have sight of the outside world. I somehow owe it to you. I hope you find it too Ky.

[Shauncuckold]

all4fun, great post!!!

[Cuckcuckgoose1]

Yes good post there all4fun. Interesting perspective.

[coastalkid]

I'll climb on board with all4fun's post. I think this is the type of post that acknowledges Ky's situation while respecting him at the same time. Ky's writing does evoke strong feelings and strong opinions. Those feelings and opinions should be voiced respectfully or not at all. I too hope that Ky finds what he is looking for and wish him the greatest success in seeking it.