Welcome! Do not give up! I will give you some tips that i used with my wife, the big secret is to avoid building up pressure.
Focus on Her Pleasure First: Shift the narrative slightly so it’s less about “your fantasy” and more about how it could enhance her enjoyment.
When you talk or text about it, emphasize how sexy and desirable she is, and how seeing her in control or desired by others turns you on because it amplifies her power and allure. Frame it as something that celebrates her, not just fulfills you.
Instead of saying "i would love you to fuck another men" say "imagine how good and different would it feel for you to be with another men". (I used this one and it worked really well).
Take Small, Playful Steps: Since she’s already wet and responsive during your texting sessions, build on that arousal without pushing for full-on action.
Suggest a low-stakes game—like her flirting with someone online (anonymously, if she prefers) while you watch or guide her, or even role-playing a scenario in bed where you pretend to be “the other guy.” Keep it light and see how she responds. Other tip is making a account on a dating app and just wait for what the other guys will say or flirt
Explore Her Fantasies: She says it “does nothing for her,” but her physical reaction suggests otherwise. Gently ask what does turn her on—what’s her version of a wild fantasy? If she opens up, weave elements of the hotwife idea into her desires. For example, if she likes feeling adored, suggest how being a hotwife could make her the center of attention in a way she might enjoy.
Normalize It Together: Casually expose her to the concept outside the bedroom. Watch a movie or read erotica with hotwife themes (i suggest Best Hotwife Erotica Summer Confessions, Laura story is the best one) and gauge her reaction. Discuss it afterward like a fun “what if,” not a sales pitch. The goal is to plant seeds of curiosity without making her feel obligated.
Celebrate Her Efforts: She’s already indulging you with texts and chats, which shows she cares about your happiness. Acknowledge that warmly—tell her how much you appreciate her openness and how hot it is that she’s willing to play along. Positive reinforcement might make her more confident to dip her toes in further.
What do you think—any of these feel like a fit for how she rolls?
Let's keep chatting
every time we text about it before I join her in the bedroom, by the time I touch her pussy she is so wet. 
the bar was far too busy though. 
