Thoughts on chastity devices for a wannabe

[sharedfantasy]

So I just came up with the idea of suggesting to my wife that I wear a chastity cage. They were never my thing and I don’t think I understood the power they behold, but my wife is a very jealous Latina who is always insecure the second I’m not around her.

First off, I haven’t given much of a backstory about my marriage at all, other than a vague introduction, but I will work on it tonight and present it to you guys in the near future, so you have a better understanding of who you’re talking to..

Now these cages are nothing new on this forum, but as a wannabe, I wonder if I could use her jealousy to my advantage and suggest to her that I wear a cock cage, any time we are not together.. I'm not entirely sure how she might take it, but after consideration, I am hopeful she will think it’s a great idea, as it would sincerely keep her mind at ease. I’d like to mention it to her this weekend. It could be an instant ‘wow, this will work’ (doubtful), or it could take a bit of time. The other realistic possibility is that she shuts it down completely, so I want to make sure I tread lightly and choose my wording carefully.
If she is ultimately game, maybe we can start shopping online for a nice one. I’ll ensure that she understands the dynamic, that she is the boss and she decides what I wear.
Anyway, it’s worth a shot. Any other wannabes or past wannabes have some sort of luck with cage?

[CuriousHusband91941]

So, I am surprised no one has responded to this yet. I own several cages. My wife has played along with using cages but she doesn’t like them since she likes touching my cock whenever she wants.
The blog Evolving Your Man has a lot of good articles for her and you to read. Here it is difficult to find good explanations of why chastity cages are psychologically beneficial because it is mostly anecdotal experiences, heavy sissy stuff. Reddit is similar.
Try that blog out and let me know what you find helpful.

[BritishCuckCpl]

It's not a bad idea, a cage can be a sign of your commitment to be faithful and lead to some fun play in the bedroom. Her having the key and teasing you with it which can lead onto roleplay in bed about other guys holding that key or being a substitute for you. It's harmless fun and a show of commitment.

Another thing to consider if broaching the subject of cuckolding is that one benefit is it provides an outlet for the man that increases his instincts to be faithful to the wife. Men are sexual and can stray but cuck husbands are much much less likely to stray and are more likely to be faithful. We're blogged about that with some stats. It might reassure her if she is jealous.

[sissystlouis]

I bought one, but she was wasn't really into it

[coastalkid]

I bought one a good while back. I just wanted to see if I could handle being in it. My wife doesn't know I have one. She does know I find the idea of her fucking another cock is exciting. She told me it was never going to happen but she did say she would tease me with it during sex. She also knows I masturbate frequently and watch porn. She's cool with that but we don't watch porn together, it just doesn't do it for her. I accept that. I have been building up the courage to ask her to "help" me to not masturbate as often by using chastity. It would be interesting to see how she would handle being in charge of my orgasms.

I have my doubts, I think that she will think it's some weird perverted thing I found watching porn and dismiss it and I'll feel shamed. On the other hand if she played along and tried to have fun with it it could change things a lot. I'm feeling the risk is worth it. I just need to step up and give it a try. It's still scary though.

[hwlurker88]

Coastal. What type did you buy and what was you experience testing it out on yourself? Did you simply try it on for a short moment, or did you actually go out in public wearing it? When it was on, what did you feel mentally and physically? Just now considering this type of thing in my life, but also very hesitant. Thanks!

[scsteelerfan]

I say go for it. I introduced it to my wife by buying one and putting it on while she was in the shower. I told her I had something to show her and we had a little fun with teasing that night. After about 45 minutes, it came off . We used it sparingly over the next few months, eventually going through different types until settling on a stainless steel cage. I go from not wearing it to wearing it 24/7 for weeks to 2 months at a time. When I wear it, I definitely get plenty of teasing and denial from her. She likes the way I strain against the cage when excited.

[MartasBoy]

So I just came up with the idea of suggesting to my wife that I wear a chastity cage.....

..... my wife is a very jealous Latina who is always insecure the second I’m not around her. .....

.... I'm not entirely sure how she might take it,
Anyway, it’s worth a shot. Any other wannabes or past wannabes have some sort of luck with cage?

She might think that you are suggesting it, because her fears are true, that you feel urges to sleep with other women, and you want the chastity cage because you're not sure that you can control yourself. You will have to be very selective of how you present it to her.

I would suggest that you tell her that you love her very much, and that you have no interest in being with anyone else. Tell her that she satisfies all of your needs. Tell her that you think it would be fun to have her play the Chastity game with you. Then point out that an added plus is, that she will know that you're willingness to be in chastity, proves that you have no desire to sleep with other women.

I have used both the polyresin Holy Trainer model, and the 3D printed Cherry Keeper model. Both are an ergonomic design that is very comfortable.
With both models, I found a couple of rough or pointy edges, that I smoothed down and rounded off with some fine sandpaper.

I have been locked in them for as long as 6 to 8 weeks full-time, with no discomfort. They both have lots of little open places in the cage, to allow you to wash it really well with the handheld shower head in the shower.

[coastalkid]

Coastal. What type did you buy and what was you experience testing it out on yourself? Did you simply try it on for a short moment, or did you actually go out in public wearing it? When it was on, what did you feel mentally and physically? Just now considering this type of thing in my life, but also very hesitant. Thanks!

I wasn't ready to pony up for an expensive one like the Mature Metal brand. I knew I didn't want a plastic one and I also didn't want one with a hinged base ring. I ended up finding one on the "Lock the Cock" website. The specific model was the "Eyes On Her Prize" metal cock cage. I have a thick cock and big balls so I wanted it to be comfortable. It is comfortable although still snug and a bit difficult to get my balls and cock through even with the largest (3") base ring.

Upon receiving it I tried it on and "tested" it by watching some porn and see how tight things got. There's NO getting out of this thing and watching the porn made my cock swell up to the point that my skin was bulging out all along the cage part. Next, I tried wearing it for a whole day and I found it was indeed comfortable. I actually found there were moments that I forgot I had it on, but only moments.

I didn't have any mental or physical epiphanies. I did try to have an orgasm with it on. I was able to move it around enough to have one albeit fairly unrewarding. My greatest hope is that I can turn this into a scenario where my wife can control my masturbation and in turn get my wife more interested. The biggest hurdle will be getting the nerve to approach her about it and not making all about a kink. I need to find a way to make it all about having fun and not something that puts pressure on her to change her thinking and behavior in extreme ways.

[hwlurker88]

Coastal.
Thanks for the thought out reply. I actually ran across that website about a week ago. I find it hard to really decide what I'd be interested in. But I'm not into the plastic ones, would definitely have to be the metal cages. Did you find that the lock would move around and make noise against the cage when you wore it? Also, did the cage create an unnatural looking buldge in your clothing? While I think it might be fun to wear one if my wife told me to, I'm not sure I'd want it to attract public attention.

Perhaps just having a discussion with you wife about your masterbation habits could open the door to introducing the idea to her?

[coastalkid]

Coastal.
Thanks for the thought out reply. I actually ran across that website about a week ago. I find it hard to really decide what I'd be interested in. But I'm not into the plastic ones, would definitely have to be the metal cages. Did you find that the lock would move around and make noise against the cage when you wore it? Also, did the cage create an unnatural looking buldge in your clothing? While I think it might be fun to wear one if my wife told me to, I'm not sure I'd want it to attract public attention.

Perhaps just having a discussion with you wife about your masterbation habits could open the door to introducing the idea to her?

I didn't notice any excessive or obvious bulge, nor noise from the lock. I don't want any unnecessary public attention either. I have worn it to the grocery store and running some errands and I noticed that when my mind is occupied with other things I almost (emphasizing "almost") forgot that I had it on. The lock doesn't seem to move much when wearing underwear. It more or less keeps it from moving around. I do like the weight of the metal cage. It feels substantial and more secure.

I agree with you about approaching my wife with the controlling my masturbation angle. I think that keeping about us and making it about fun would be my best chance at making it happen. If I go off on any other tangent I know she'll see it as just another one of my perverted fantasies. That's why I think focusing on "us" and not linking it to any kind of "hot wife/cuckold" would take away some of the anticipated apprehension. I've been sorting through what I would actually say to make it more about restricting my masturbation.

I have several concerns about it. What if she goes for it and it doesn't change her behavior? What if she just uses it to get out of having sex rather than to get some kind of thrill about controlling my cock? If it doesn't result with some new interest in her then it will be pointless. if she doesn't find it fun then it will be just another failed attempt at "spicing things up". I just need to gather my courage and set aside my worries in hopes of her curiosity to try something different that doesn't involve anyone besides just us.

[MartasBoy]

I bought one a good while back. I just wanted to see if I could handle being in it. My wife doesn't know I have one. She does know I find the idea of her fucking another cock is exciting. She told me it was never going to happen but she did say she would tease me with it during sex. She also knows I masturbate frequently and watch porn. She's cool with that but we don't watch porn together, it just doesn't do it for her. I accept that. I have been building up the courage to ask her to "help" me to not masturbate as often by using chastity. It would be interesting to see how she would handle being in charge of my orgasms.

I have my doubts, I think that she will think it's some weird perverted thing I found watching porn and dismiss it and I'll feel shamed. On the other hand if she played along and tried to have fun with it it could change things a lot. I'm feeling the risk is worth it. I just need to step up and give it a try. It's still scary though.

I presented the idea to my wife as a game, a novelty. I did mention, as a side benefit, that I think it might help me to not masturbate as often, so that I can focus the energy I put into that, on being more attentive to her, less focused on the actor orgasm, and more focused on romance and affection.

I bought a model tried it for a few days, without locking the lock, in case I needed to get out of it in the middle of the night, with a nocturnal erection. I did have to go to the next largest ring. Then I locked it and left it on full time for several days, to see how I would adjust to it.

I like the feeling a lot. I wanted to create some of the feeling of being trapped in it, before I approached my wife. One weekend I left the key in a desk drawer at my office at work. It was a little exciting knowing that the key wasn't immediately available to me. I imagined what it would feel like to have my wife in charge of the key and deny me access.

At one point, I dropped the key in her purse. It dropped down well inside, and disappeared in all of the stuff in her purse. I just left it there for a while. I know that she does not care for me to go into her purse without permission. So now I knew that it was not really accessible to me, even though she didn't know that it was in her possession.

I told her that I had recently heard of a fun bit of bedroom play that I would like to try. I told her that there are some couples that play tease and denial of the husband, and that there are actually a type of sex toy that are physical chastity devices for men.

I explained that the game entails the man being locked in the device, and handing the key over to his wife for her to tease him and make him wait between orgasms. I pointed out that I masturbate quite a bit, and it wouldn't kill me to do that less, so I would have more time to focus on her and other things.

She agreed that I masturbate a lot, but couldn't believe that I would want her to keep me from doing it. I told her that I had experimented many times, with seeing how long I could go without doing it, to build up more sexual tension and excitement. I told her that I have sometimes refrained from masturbation for a couple of weeks before we go on vacation, to make our romantic time a little more steamy on vacation. I told her that when I made myself refrain from masturbation and having an orgasm, for an extended period of time, that it made our eventual love making more exciting. I told her that refraining helped build more excitement.

I told her that I thought it would be interesting to see what it was like to delay my orgasms, when she was in control, rather than me trying to do it on my own. I told her I thought it would be fun, and make me feel more connected to her, since she would be the one who would determine when and how often.

She wanted to know more about what the devices were like. I described them, but tried to distract from that topic for the time being. I showed her some of the blog entries of Sarah Jameson, a British wife and keyholder for her husband.

https://malechastityblog.com/male-chast ... onfession/

Sarah does a good job of describing why men are interested in chastity, and her journey of discovery and exploration with chastity play with her husband. She is a very down to earth English housewife, and not some leather and whips and chains dominatrix.

My wife finally agreed that she would be willing to try playing with me with chastity. She asked about devices and where one gets such a thing. That is when I confessed that I had purchased one and had been trying it for a while. She asked me why I hadn't told her earlier, and I told her that I wanted to make sure that it was something I really felt comfortable in and enjoyed, before I asked her to join me in this type of play.

She asked where it was, and I told her that I was wearing it at that moment, and had had it on full-time for a week. She has to see it, and I pulled my pants down and showed her. She had some questions. She examined it, and asked me if it hurt. I told her that I actually liked how it felt, the feeling of being imprisoned and not being able to touch it. I told her that this was the reason that I had tried it out first, before telling her about it, so I could be sure that it was comfortable and that I could tolerate it for a long.

Then she asked where the key was. I told her that I had dropped it in her purse a week prior. She asked if I had gone in her purse, and I told her that I merely dropped it in along the edge, and let it fall to the bottom.

She told me that we could start the play then. I told her that I was kind of hoping she might start the game by letting me out to have a release and then start the game anew. She said, "You've only been in a week. From the Sarah Jameson blog entry I read, she says that one of the most common mistakes that women make when starting out, is allowing their husband to have releases too soon and too frequently. And that one week is not very long at all." Then she added, "Since the key is already in my purse, that seems like a good place for it to remain for now."

I asked her when she envisioned she might decide to let me out for some play time, and she said that she was going to wait and read some more about it, to get some ideas and recommendations.

Since I had already been in for a week, now I really felt an exciting feeling of really being trapped. My horny energy was already building. Now that I was unable to touch myself, anytime I encountered anything that turned me on, I immediately had this thought that I wanted to be by her side at least, if not snuggling up close to her. It was just the constant reminder that I could not even wrap my hand around my penis, until she decided to unlock me. I felt like I wanted to be closer to her all the time, in hopes that she might be inspired to unlock me for play time.

She eventually told me that she really liked the way that the period of denial changed my demeanor. This was how we got started, and it has been a lot of fun.