Figuring it out

[Saras_Stag]

You are one incredible woman, LFA.

*taking notes*

[regular3]

I believe if you look up the definition of hotwife there's a picture of you, suitably smiling of course.
Just a question about your anal fun if I may.
Do you prep before anal or are you more spontaneous. If so, could you please share how. It'll probably come across as a bit clinical but it's good to know what works.
If not, i imagine there must be some inspection before opening your throat to his cock.

[Lookingforadventure]

You are one incredible woman, LFA.

*taking notes*

Thank you SS. And you are welcome to take notes, but remember that I'm a bit "weird."

[Lookingforadventure]

I believe if you look up the definition of hotwife there's a picture of you, suitably smiling of course.
Just a question about your anal fun if I may.
Do you prep before anal or are you more spontaneous. If so, could you please share how. It'll probably come across as a bit clinical but it's good to know what works.
If not, i imagine there must be some inspection before opening your throat to his cock.

Thanks Regular3.

An interesting question and not one that I thought I'd write about in public. LOL. Generally speaking, I don't do a lot of hygiene prep before anal play. If there is going to be rimming (tongue playing with the butt hole) it usually happens right after a shower. Not always, but it does make me feel more comfortable having Adventurer go there if I know everything was freshly washed. For insertion play, I don't really do any internal prep for cleanliness reasons. I eat a lot of vegetables and tend to be fairly "regular" so it really isn't an issue. (TMI!!!)

I do like to prep for anal in terms of stretching though. It doesn't always happen (sometimes there is more spontaneous play) but when there is forethought, I like to wear a butt plug in advance to get the muscles relaxed. Adventurer is also good at warming me up a bit with fingers or a toy first. Plus lube. His cock is rather girthy, so slamming it in there with no lube or no warm up just wouldn't work.

As for ass-to-mouth play, yes, I do a bit of a visual check first. If you are going to do butt stuff, you run the risk of maybe having some poop situations, but it really doesn't happen that often. At least in my experience.

[regular3]

Thanks LFA.
A tricky one to write but for me at least it's good to have an idea about how people manage these things.
Spontaneity is king.

[Saras_Stag]

You are one incredible woman, LFA.

*taking notes*

Thank you SS. And you are welcome to take notes, but remember that I'm a bit "weird."

Haha aren’t we all a bit “weird”?

[Lookingforadventure]

I never wrote a proper summary of my last date with G, and wanted to take a moment to capture it here:

The date was on a Wednesday about two weeks ago. I arrived early... which is what I usually do unless Toronto traffic gets in my way. It was not my usual check-in clerk at the counter, but the new person was equally as friendly. She gave me a room on the sixth floor and told me check out was at 3. I took the elevator up and found our room. Then I sent G a text to let him know I had arrived.

I was wearing a short, light blue skirt with a dark blue sweater. I also had on knee socks and tall boots. I thought it was quite cute. But, because I was early, I took off the boots and socks, sat on the bed and did a bit of work on my phone (after taking one "look at me lounging on the bed waiting for my boyfriend" photo for Adventurer).

G sent a text that let me know he had gotten almost to the hotel and then realized he forgot his phone. He would have no way of finding out the room number or of letting me know that he was there. So he turned around and drove home. He was texting from his driveway and would be back soon. I chuckled to myself but told him to drive safely. I'd be there when he arrived. Plus, I did have work to do.

When G got there, he knocked on the door. He was looking as handsome and charming as ever. He also really liked my skirt. It wasn't the first time he had seen me in it (the first time was when we went on a day date together about a year ago), but it is one that he likes. We kissed for a bit, then he closed the door and put down his things.

Before I knew it, we were kissing again and he gently led me backwards towards the bed and then pushed me down. He said he had been waiting to do something for a long time. That something was go down on me He pushed my skirt up around my waist and smiled at the purple panties I was wearing for him (purple is his favourite colour) and then began to kiss and lick me. The panties came off soon after, but he lingered down there for a gloriously long time. Sometimes his fingers slipped inside me. Sometimes it was just his tongue. It all felt amazing.

Then he stood up and said it was time for him to get undressed. I watched as he removed his shirt and then his pants. He had fun underwear on with comic-style graphics of golf carts. They made me smile...especially the large tent at the front. But those came off quickly too. And then he was inside me.

I loved it. His cock fits me really well and he had a good rhythm going too. I really only lasted a minute or two before I was in the middle of an orgasm. And he kept going to bring me to another.

He smiled down at me and made a comment about how fucking me, fully dressed, with my skirt around my waist, felt a bit naughty like sneakily fucking me in my parents' basement. It was just the sort of sexy fantasy that turns me on even more.

But then it was time for me to get naked. He watched as I stripped, and then I joined him on the bed. I kissed him and he suggested we make a video for Adventurer. I got him my phone and he filmed as I licked and sucked his cock to full attention. Then I climbed on and began to ride. I held the camera slightly above me so that Adventurer could get a full body shot of me bouncing up and down. Then I tossed the phone to the other side of the bed and focused on the task at hand.

G was close to cumming so I had to watch his face and body signs carefully. At one point, I pulled off and admired his cock covered in my pussy cream. I gave him a lick to clean him up, but he said he wanted more. He stood up, pulled me to the edge of the bed and fucked me hard until his cum was pulsing out of him and into me. With a satisfied and mischievous smile, he stayed inside me as he leaned forward to kiss me. I wrapped my arms around him and stroked his hair as I kissed him back.

That was round 1. In round 2 we played a short game of "just the tip" but I'm never very good at it. As much as I love the feel of his cock head rubbing against my clit, and the feel of him just starting to penetrate me, I always want more. I'm sure he does too, but he seems to be able to withstand temptation so much better than me. LOL. My legs were soon wrapped around his body and pulling him in deeper.

I don't really remember other details other than lying together under the sheets and cuddling as we talked about what has been going on in our lives. It was easy and comfortable and kind of perfect.

A few hours later it was time to get back to work. We got dressed, dropped the room key off in the lobby, and he walked me to the car. We kissed goodbye and I told him to have a great time on his upcoming vacation in Florida.

The reason I didn't write this up earlier was that Adventurer had mixed feelings about the whole thing. He was fine with me going and had told me to have fun, but deep down he wasn't feeling fine. That became clear when I got home and he wasn't really interested in talking about it. Since then, we've had some good conversations and some great sex (some of which I've written about in earlier posts). In the end, we've decided that the hot wife lifestyle just isn't right for us. He tried really, really hard to be ok with it (he knows how much G means to me), but in his heart he just isn't feeling it anymore. And I can't go forward with it without his full support and enthusiasm.

So I am hanging up my hot wife hat. I may still pop in to OHWs now and then to see how all my friends are getting along. You've all been so great and encouraging over the past five years. I may even post a few more things. I feel like I've grown a lot and learned about myself from this experience and I might like to write about that one day.

For now, I wanted to capture that last date because it really was a perfect way to go out (even if I didn't recognize at the time that it was my last hurrah). G is an amazing person and I'm deeply and truly grateful to him.

[IowaGent]

Beautiful write up LFA. Otherwise, I'm at a loss for words and am sad that it has come to this ... but I have absolute respect for all involved here. Hopefully the relationship with G can continue on a different level because you two have a bond of friendship which is also very special. Regardless, all of the best to each of you.

[coastalkid]

Thank you for this post. I know you had to pause things before when things weren't going so well for Adventurer. I know you had discussions then and Adventurer came around and gave it another try. I know you also fired up the bondage play between you and Adventurer after you restarted with G. I got the feeling that was something specifically for Adventurer to enjoy with you.

Don't take this as anything other than an observation and an impression, but I think you sensed Adventurer needed something special for himself and you tried to give him that. Returning from your visit with G and seeing Adventurer struggling must have been a hard thing to witness. Adventurer too had to be truly distraught as well because he knows how important G is to you. He knows that his choices are impossible. If your hot wife activities aren't "doing anything for him" in an exciting way then they ARE doing something in a negative way for him. I'm sure he was scared that if he told you he wanted it to stop that you would withdraw sexually. He had to be wrestling with idea that he was damned if he did or damned if he didn't.

I have nothing but praise for you LFA! I've always said that it takes an exceptional wife to make this work. You could have forced the issue or given ultimatums but you didn't! It's my guess that you learned that as much fun as you had in your time that it would never be as good or satisfying if Adventurer didn't share that feeling. It would become more about separating a part of your life from Adventurer instead of sharing it. When I say it takes an exceptional wife to make this work I don't mean the sex part, that's a piece of the puzzle. The "making it work" for me, refers to saving, protecting and nurturing the marriage. You chose to make it work!

[regular3]

Noooooooo

[Statein88]

Have always appreciated your posts, and your honesty and openness. I’m sure this lifestyle isn’t easy even when it all goes “well”. At the end of the day though, what’s most important is the positives you take from these experiences and everyone being in agreement. There are always seasons in life (something I’ve had to accept myself) and while they don’t always go exactly how we might hope, we learn and grow regardless.
It’s always seemed you and Adventurer have a deep love for each other, and that’s a beautiful thing.

[longines]

Hi LFA and perhaps even better, Adventurer: would you mind delving a bit deeper into "his heart he just isn't feeling it anymore"? I'd have thought that, especially for the men, this is never going away. Thank you

[regular3]

Without a crystal ball it's hard to forecast but for the time being will you remain monogamous or will you dabble as a couple?
I imagine this is a difficult decision for both of you. My heart goes out to you all. X

[Long Lurker 34]

LFA & A
- I can understand despite, how fun can be at different levels, this can be for either one and at the same time how it can be unsettling. But both have to have their heart into this sort of thing or it won't work properly. LFA is a pretty special lady without doubt and A is so lucky to have her. As OLG catch line states "Know your limit, play with in it."

All three of you LFA, A, and G will be much missed. I hope you all keep well.

[Late]

In my mind, the true definition of a hotwife is a wife enjoying sexual contact with others; while the husband enjoys it with her. If BOTH are not totally into her doing it, then it is not hotwifing. The two of you have had a good run at it, but it sure seems more than appropriate to stop; at least for now. Adventurer was enjoying it and now he is not enjoying it. He may or may not want to come back to it some day. You may or may not want to come back to it if or when he wants to. I cannot imagine a better example of what the lifestyle should be. The only thing I can say is THANK YOU BOTH for sharing your experiences with us. The picture in the dictionary for hotwife should be the two of you. I would like to feel sorry for G, but he has had several years of experiencing fantastic sex with an awesome coupe; so he isn't in line to get too much sympathy from me. Good luck in your travels, and we'll keep a light on for you.

Late

[Lookingforadventure]

Beautiful write up LFA. Otherwise, I'm at a loss for words and am sad that it has come to this ... but I have absolute respect for all involved here. Hopefully the relationship with G can continue on a different level because you two have a bond of friendship which is also very special. Regardless, all of the best to each of you.

Thank you so much. It was not an easy decision for anyone. I am hopeful that G and I can continue being friends.

[Lookingforadventure]

Thank you for this post. I know you had to pause things before when things weren't going so well for Adventurer. I know you had discussions then and Adventurer came around and gave it another try. I know you also fired up the bondage play between you and Adventurer after you restarted with G. I got the feeling that was something specifically for Adventurer to enjoy with you.

Don't take this as anything other than an observation and an impression, but I think you sensed Adventurer needed something special for himself and you tried to give him that. Returning from your visit with G and seeing Adventurer struggling must have been a hard thing to witness. Adventurer too had to be truly distraught as well because he knows how important G is to you. He knows that his choices are impossible. If your hot wife activities aren't "doing anything for him" in an exciting way then they ARE doing something in a negative way for him. I'm sure he was scared that if he told you he wanted it to stop that you would withdraw sexually. He had to be wrestling with idea that he was damned if he did or damned if he didn't.

I have nothing but praise for you LFA! I've always said that it takes an exceptional wife to make this work. You could have forced the issue or given ultimatums but you didn't! It's my guess that you learned that as much fun as you had in your time that it would never be as good or satisfying if Adventurer didn't share that feeling. It would become more about separating a part of your life from Adventurer instead of sharing it. When I say it takes an exceptional wife to make this work I don't mean the sex part, that's a piece of the puzzle. The "making it work" for me, refers to saving, protecting and nurturing the marriage. You chose to make it work!

Thanks Coastal Kid. Yes, I know Adventurer struggled with this. He doesn't want to hurt me or deny me things that make me happy. He also has to be honest about how he's feeling and that this just wasn't sustainable for him. I love that we were able to talk about it honestly. It doesn't make it easy, and my heart hurts, but it is the right thing for us. I'm grateful that G has been understanding about it too (as I knew he would be).

[Lookingforadventure]

Noooooooo

LOL. Afraid so

[Lookingforadventure]

Have always appreciated your posts, and your honesty and openness. I’m sure this lifestyle isn’t easy even when it all goes “well”. At the end of the day though, what’s most important is the positives you take from these experiences and everyone being in agreement. There are always seasons in life (something I’ve had to accept myself) and while they don’t always go exactly how we might hope, we learn and grow regardless.
It’s always seemed you and Adventurer have a deep love for each other, and that’s a beautiful thing.

Thank you Statein88. And that's the mental approach that I'm taking to this. I'm trying not to focus on the loss (although there is definitely that) but instead on the incredible 5 years that we've just had. Not every relationship is meant to last forever, but hopefully they all leave us as better people. My hot wife experience taught me many things about myself and my sexuality. G was also the perfect boyfriend to be alongside us in this adventure. He is amazing and saw things and encouraged things in me that I will forever be grateful for. I think, and I hope, that I've also left him better for having had this time with me.

As for Adventurer, I love him more than anything. Nothing can or would change that. Not every partner would be able to support their spouse in something like this. I'm grateful to him for encouraging me to take this step, for supporting me through it, and for being honest with me about when it needed to end.

[Lookingforadventure]

Without a crystal ball it's hard to forecast but for the time being will you remain monogamous or will you dabble as a couple?
I imagine this is a difficult decision for both of you. My heart goes out to you all. X

We are sticking to monogamy. I've learned about myself that I can't have sex without feelings and emotions. Even our attempts at swinging ended up with me feeling true friendship for those we played with. Then, when things end, it hurts. I just don't want to mess with that. And I have no desire for one-off and casual hookups with strangers. Adventurer is on the same page.

I guess that means you'll find us in the vanilla section from now on (although...probably vanilla with monogamous sprinkles, because that's just how we roll).

[Lookingforadventure]

LFA & A
- I can understand despite, how fun can be at different levels, this can be for either one and at the same time how it can be unsettling. But both have to have their heart into this sort of thing or it won't work properly. LFA is a pretty special lady without doubt and A is so lucky to have her. As OLG catch line states "Know your limit, play with in it."

All three of you LFA, A, and G will be much missed. I hope you all keep well.

Thank you Long Lurker.

[Lookingforadventure]

In my mind, the true definition of a hotwife is a wife enjoying sexual contact with others; while the husband enjoys it with her. If BOTH are not totally into her doing it, then it is not hotwifing. The two of you have had a good run at it, but it sure seems more than appropriate to stop; at least for now. Adventurer was enjoying it and now he is not enjoying it. He may or may not want to come back to it some day. You may or may not want to come back to it if or when he wants to. I cannot imagine a better example of what the lifestyle should be. The only thing I can say is THANK YOU BOTH for sharing your experiences with us. The picture in the dictionary for hotwife should be the two of you. I would like to feel sorry for G, but he has had several years of experiencing fantastic sex with an awesome coupe; so he isn't in line to get too much sympathy from me. Good luck in your travels, and we'll keep a light on for you.

Late

Thank you Late. I appreciate this. My only qualm is your tongue-in-cheek comment about G. I know where you are coming from and I'm smiling about the compliment about him being lucky to have had the experience. But I also think he DOES deserve some sympathy. He's been wonderful and respectful of A and I throughout our five year relationship with him. He didn't ask for it to end, and didn't get much of a say in it. That's not fair to him (even though he understands it). There are also real feelings between us that we both have to honour and grieve.

I know he'll be fine, and I want nothing but happiness for him. But you all can give him some sympathy too.

And thanks for leaving the light on. I do intend to pop back in now and again to check on you all. XOXOX

[Fox]

Really gonna miss your updates. You’re one of the ones i continue to check in on daily even after our adventure ended a year and a half ago. Kind of ironic. I’ve mentioned several times the similarities between you and Shirley. Oddly, she’s the one that ended it and I wish it could continue. In your case Adventurer decided to end it. Good luck to all 3 of you. Shirley has maintained that if she could find a guy like G that would only be with her and her with him, she would return to being a hotwife. We just haven’t been able to find it. You all were very lucky to have found each other.

[venus-can99]

Thanks lfa for posting about the recent meeting with G which ended up being the last hurrah. It has been a delight to read all of your updates with occasional colour commentary from A and G. Hope all 3 of you find the strength to move on to the next phase and continue to remain friends.

[Late]

In my mind, the true definition of a hotwife is a wife enjoying sexual contact with others; while the husband enjoys it with her. If BOTH are not totally into her doing it, then it is not hotwifing. The two of you have had a good run at it, but it sure seems more than appropriate to stop; at least for now. Adventurer was enjoying it and now he is not enjoying it. He may or may not want to come back to it some day. You may or may not want to come back to it if or when he wants to. I cannot imagine a better example of what the lifestyle should be. The only thing I can say is THANK YOU BOTH for sharing your experiences with us. The picture in the dictionary for hotwife should be the two of you. I would like to feel sorry for G, but he has had several years of experiencing fantastic sex with an awesome coupe; so he isn't in line to get too much sympathy from me. Good luck in your travels, and we'll keep a light on for you.

Late

Thank you Late. I appreciate this. My only qualm is your tongue-in-cheek comment about G. I know where you are coming from and I'm smiling about the compliment about him being lucky to have had the experience. But I also think he DOES deserve some sympathy. He's been wonderful and respectful of A and I throughout our five year relationship with him. He didn't ask for it to end, and didn't get much of a say in it. That's not fair to him (even though he understands it). There are also real feelings between us that we both have to honour and grieve.

I know he'll be fine, and I want nothing but happiness for him. But you all can give him some sympathy too.

And thanks for leaving the light on. I do intend to pop back in now and again to check on you all. XOXOX

LFA:
Thanks for responding. Your response forced me to think a little bit harder about why I'm here, on this site, and why I have been following your story so intently.
Let me explain. I'm unfortunately a wannabe. Of all the different versions of the lifestyle on this site, the one that appeals to me the most is what I think of as the true "hotwife" lifestyle. By that, I mean a wife that is sexually active outside the marriage with the husband's full support. In my mind, whether the husband participates or wanders himself is irrelevant to the hotwife theme. She being mentally and physically sexually active outside the marriage and him being fully supportive of that is the key. Your story conveyed that you and A had that relationship. I have found a few other couples on here that have been living a similar lifestyle and I am enjoying them as well.
What your response has forced me to realize, is that though their stories are similar, they are also different. Specifically; although you have had several different participants, for the most part you had G and he was your main "focus". The other couples I have been following have different relationships they are pursuing. One hotwife has several "midterm" relationships going at once. As she drops one she tends to find another to keep her stable "stocked". Again, her husband is fully aware and supportive of her activity and participates at different levels with different participants. Another hotwife has had one participant for a very long time. Another hotwife has had a variety of participants, pretty much one at a time.

I am enjoying following all of these stories for the same reason. The wife is mentally and physically sexually active, and the husband is fully aware and fully supportive. I think what I am liking about your situation is that as soon as A stopped being fully supportive you stopped the life style. Hopefully it is only a pause because A and you are able to work through some stuff, but for now it has stopped.

Of course, the other reason I have been following your and the other stories is I have been living the hotwife lifestyle vicariously. And in all of the examples, that lifestyle is awesome. So, having said all of that, I want to apologize for having slighted the impact the change has had on G. By the way, it has been very enjoyable having been able to follow the story from his perspective as well.

As I have been writing this, a question has come to mind. I am going to ask it hoping not to offend you but hopefully as a way of trying to understand what has changed. At first you had a variety of participants, but at the end it was only G. Did A enjoy the variety of participants, but became less supportive when it became only one other? I ask that only in trying to understand better the husband's perspective on the lifestyle, which I have to admit is kind of weird. She gets all the fun, and his enjoyment is her getting all the fun.

Anyway, I thank you for sharing your experience with us, and for letting us participate in this small way. May you, A, and G live long and prosper.

Late