"Why would a guy want his wife to sleep with another man"

[amerus]

I love her. I want her to be happy. Our love is mature enough where I am not worried about her exploring and having fun. I don't want her to feel imprisoned by me. I want her to live her life to the fullest. I want to feel like I am her choice and not like she is with me because she has no other options. I want to see her develop sexually and keep trying new things with her lover(s). I don't want to be the one to satisfy all her needs because women are complex. Finally, it makes me happy when she is happy because her pussy is well used and full of cum.

[Bullbe]

I am a Therapist who treats Alt lifestyle patients exclusively. I have seen a lot of so called facts related here and I wonder where thay are coming from. The truth is if you are in a hotwife or cuckold lifestyle your chance of divorce goes to 75%. This has been verified more than once. You have the same stressors as a regular marriage plus the additonal ones. I am not saying you cannot be successful, you can but it is even more difficult. In my opinion you need a certain level of intimacy to stay married and that's what get threatened in most cases because you lose your sense of being special in your partner's eyes. After all they have sex with others, they stay overnight with others, the kiss and hold hands and exchange gifts with others, all I get to do to be special is pay the bills. What I just stated was comments from many of the people that I deal with. If you are going to do this and I am not saying that I do not understand some of the excitement/joy, you must have great communication and set some rules and follow them to the letter. Also I would suggest that you do not have children. This does not mean that you cannot be loving parents with good intentions and hearts, but I have never, again never seen where the children did not find out and they were very upset and had problems well into their adult lives. Having said all of this I relaize this sounds very negative and I suppose it is to a certain extent but I do wish everyone the best in their relationships no matter what thier lifestyle is and much joy.

Catching this for future reference - something against the selection bias on this site (that been those couples it is currently working for
- those that it hasn’t aren’t here)

[lisamyhotwife]

I am a Therapist who treats Alt lifestyle patients exclusively. I have seen a lot of so called facts related here and I wonder where thay are coming from. The truth is if you are in a hotwife or cuckold lifestyle your chance of divorce goes to 75%. This has been verified more than once. You have the same stressors as a regular marriage plus the additonal ones. I am not saying you cannot be successful, you can but it is even more difficult. In my opinion you need a certain level of intimacy to stay married and that's what get threatened in most cases because you lose your sense of being special in your partner's eyes. After all they have sex with others, they stay overnight with others, the kiss and hold hands and exchange gifts with others, all I get to do to be special is pay the bills. What I just stated was comments from many of the people that I deal with. If you are going to do this and I am not saying that I do not understand some of the excitement/joy, you must have great communication and set some rules and follow them to the letter. Also I would suggest that you do not have children. This does not mean that you cannot be loving parents with good intentions and hearts, but I have never, again never seen where the children did not find out and they were very upset and had problems well into their adult lives. Having said all of this I relaize this sounds very negative and I suppose it is to a certain extent but I do wish everyone the best in their relationships no matter what thier lifestyle is and much joy.

Catching this for future reference - something against the selection bias on this site (that been those couples it is currently working for
- those that it hasn’t aren’t here)

As a couple with children that has made this work, I agree with almost everything said. I have posted many times that if you do this you better be very well rooted in your relationship. Lisa and I had a very long life together before we went down this path. Our history, family, and love are what bonds us together. With out that I don't see how it works. I wish the best for young people that don't have that because they just jump in before the relationship has roots. There is nothing to support the relationship if things get a bit bumpy...and they will at times.
IMHO.

[JackRawls]

I would enjoy the jealousy kink.

[lisamyhotwife]

It's really hard to know how a person will react till it happens. I remember the first time like it was yesterday. The rush was incredible. It ended up being a 4 sum but still in the following days the doubt and the questions started to pop into my head. Lisa had never been with anyone other than me in her life. She was 17 when we met, she was 40 when we started down the path and at times the doubts were over whelming even though it was my idea. I was a very jealous person back in those days ( I know, but it was my idea. I can't explain that lol). Anyway, Lisa is a very loving and understanding person, we talked a lot and she told me i was the only one she was in love with and it will always be that way. She told the truth. She loves some of her FB but I'm the one she is in love with, there is a difference. There were bumps in the road but we always came though strong because of Lisa. She is my rock. Fast forward to now, she can do who ever when ever she wants. She always comes home to me. There is nothing out there that can replace what we have built together. It's sexy, erotic, and just fun and a hell of an adventure.
My advice, if the person you are with is the one, build a life together before heading down this path. I know, the drive to see or hear your wife/girl fucking another guy is and will always be there but time is your friend. Go slow and again communication.
Have fun and enjoy the ride.

[lisamyhotwife]

Or you could just say fuck it, it's fun.

[cuckhus715]

N

[Bogdan]

For me (male) it is the combination of seeing my wife happy mentally, satisfied sexually, being proud of her and a little bit of jealousy and knowing this will not fuck up our marriage. Just my two cents...

[Crispb]

My wife has had steady lovers for 20 years. At first, my wife always had sex with her lover at our house, which included threesomes as well. As our children grew older, we also had to adapt and my wife then mostly spent one night with her lover in his place, which later turned into a whole weekend with him. I also support my wife in developing these relationships. Let's take the point when she packs her bag for the weekend. My wife chooses the more "behaved" lingerie. I then replace it with something more revealing, more slutty items. The anal plug, lubricant and handcuffs should not be missing either. After a shower, she lies on our bed with her legs apart and I shave the last pubic hair from her entrance. I do notice in this moment that my wife is already full of anticipation. But - it is not only a welcome break from the routine for my wife in our long-term marriage. No - these lover also ensured that my wife always received her confirmation that she never lost her attractiveness in all these years. Whenever my wife returns home after a weekend with her lover, she is usually highly motivated. She had a good time with him and the sex at night was just perfect. But be careful- The bases in choosing this kind of lifestyle: There should be a solid foundation, mutual trust, as well the freedom to talk about it openly

Yes your perspective but you have posted some doubts in your post. Why would you not be talking about it way before you started this LS.

[Crispb]

I am a Therapist who treats Alt lifestyle patients exclusively. I have seen a lot of so called facts related here and I wonder where thay are coming from. The truth is if you are in a hotwife or cuckold lifestyle your chance of divorce goes to 75%. This has been verified more than once. You have the same stressors as a regular marriage plus the additonal ones. I am not saying you cannot be successful, you can but it is even more difficult. In my opinion you need a certain level of intimacy to stay married and that's what get threatened in most cases because you lose your sense of being special in your partner's eyes. After all they have sex with others, they stay overnight with others, the kiss and hold hands and exchange gifts with others, all I get to do to be special is pay the bills. What I just stated was comments from many of the people that I deal with. If you are going to do this and I am not saying that I do not understand some of the excitement/joy, you must have great communication and set some rules and follow them to the letter. Also I would suggest that you do not have children. This does not mean that you cannot be loving parents with good intentions and hearts, but I have never, again never seen where the children did not find out and they were very upset and had problems well into their adult lives. Having said all of this I relaize this sounds very negative and I suppose it is to a certain extent but I do wish everyone the best in their relationships no matter what thier lifestyle is and much joy.

Catching this for future reference - something against the selection bias on this site (that been those couples it is currently working for
- those that it hasn’t aren’t here)

As a couple with children that has made this work, I agree with almost everything said. I have posted many times that if you do this you better be very well rooted in your relationship. Lisa and I had a very long life together before we went down this path. Our history, family, and love are what bonds us together. With out that I don't see how it works. I wish the best for young people that don't have that because they just jump in before the relationship has roots. There is nothing to support the relationship if things get a bit bumpy...and they will at times.
IMHO.

Perfect analysis and I agree with you completely and I am just a regular Joe who is very observant because I want to be observant . Most are an ostrich and they put their head in in the sand…

[Flavius]

I am a Therapist who treats Alt lifestyle patients exclusively. I have seen a lot of so called facts related here and I wonder where thay are coming from. The truth is if you are in a hotwife or cuckold lifestyle your chance of divorce goes to 75%. This has been verified more than once. You have the same stressors as a regular marriage plus the additonal ones. I am not saying you cannot be successful, you can but it is even more difficult. In my opinion you need a certain level of intimacy to stay married and that's what get threatened in most cases because you lose your sense of being special in your partner's eyes. After all they have sex with others, they stay overnight with others, the kiss and hold hands and exchange gifts with others, all I get to do to be special is pay the bills. What I just stated was comments from many of the people that I deal with. If you are going to do this and I am not saying that I do not understand some of the excitement/joy, you must have great communication and set some rules and follow them to the letter. Also I would suggest that you do not have children. This does not mean that you cannot be loving parents with good intentions and hearts, but I have never, again never seen where the children did not find out and they were very upset and had problems well into their adult lives. Having said all of this I relaize this sounds very negative and I suppose it is to a certain extent but I do wish everyone the best in their relationships no matter what thier lifestyle is and much joy.

Catching this for future reference - something against the selection bias on this site (that been those couples it is currently working for
- those that it hasn’t aren’t here)

There certainly is a selection bias on this site. One would expect that to happen here. The hotwife lifestyle can be and of course is a bumpy road at times. We've done it for 33 years and it has not always been plain sailing. I doubt that would have been different had we stayed monogamous.

Being in a sort of single-sided open relationship, i.e. hotwife relationship, we needed to do a lot of work to make it work. A certain level of maturity and being able to communicate our thoughts, feelings, and also our fears certainly helped. The feeling of being cared for by the other has been essential. Without a meaningful and profound bonding we would have split up long ago.

In Zardoz' post it sounds to me as if sexual interaction is most important for feeling special. This has never been the case for us. What makes me feel special is that she takes over when I have reached my limits, and vice versa. What makes me feel special are all the the things and activities we have been doing together in all these years. And of course it makes me feel special that she comes back to me smiling, satisfied and happy after a lustful night, returns from her escape from the the daily routine, and is pleased to be back in my arms again.

Always leave the cage door open so the bird can return.

[CuriousB]

Loved this thread great points and advice. I’ve taken my time to say the least 4 yrs working on this which started with her having a fantasy disclosure. Inching closer just need to get past the part where she is offended I’m so open to it lol.

[Hallonsoda]

As someone looking into this lifestyle from the outside this seems like somerhing that only a very few couples could pull off successfully? Without an honest and caring reltionship/marriage this wouldnt work.

[sconesy73]

As someone looking into this lifestyle from the outside this seems like somerhing that only a very few couples could pull off successfully? Without an honest and caring reltionship/marriage this wouldnt work.

100% correct!
For pretty much all of our relationship, my partner and I have enjoyed the cuckold/ hotwife/ poly (call it what you will!) lifestyle - the sex has been fantastic, we've explored new kinks and had experiences I'd never have imagined- but underlying all that has been communication, openness, honesty, communication and communication!
And of course we love each other a great deal

[Androgynous Sissy]

I have reasons for wanting my wife to take on a bull. One reason is my inadequacy. She is capable of multi orgasms and she can go for hours and hours with three virile stud. In my intro explained how it was born to be a sissy. I fought it for a while and finally I embraced it.

When you love someone it’s not just a feeling. I don’t want my wife missing out on anything and I want her to have unlimited pleasure. I’m simply not capable of doing the heavy lifting required to handle a hot wife. I hope sometime when she is ready to take the next step we are able to find us a suitable bull.

[rufuskaboom]

I have reasons for wanting my wife to take on a bull. One reason is my inadequacy. She is capable of multi orgasms and she can go for hours and hours with three virile stud. In my intro explained how it was born to be a sissy. I fought it for a while and finally I embraced it.

When you love someone it’s not just a feeling. I don’t want my wife missing out on anything and I want her to have unlimited pleasure. I’m simply not capable of doing the heavy lifting required to handle a hot wife. I hope sometime when she is ready to take the next step we are able to find us a suitable bull.

I saw you say "I" many times during your text. In the end of it, you say "when she is ready to take the next step".

Allow me to give my two cents. We have had only one swinging experience, two years ago, and the "bull" idea also comes to our conversation, from time to time. Not sure if it will become a reality one day.

I agree with a lot that has been said in this thread. You need a very mature, stable and loving relationship to make it work. Otherwise a divorce is almost certain.

The bull "thing"...it has to come from the wife's initiative. She shouldn't do it because you are so horny about this fantasy. She shouldn't be "ready to take the next step", she should "have the initiative to desire this next step and to find a bull for her". Even if she asks for your help finding the bull. That's fine.

I am supposing you have shown her that you have this fantasy, and it's ok to think about it. Then the next step should definitely come from her. Naturally. Not because you bring this conversation again and again.

My opinion comes from our current moment, and of course, may vary from others. We always put our relationship first.

We are married for over 20 years. So if it's to happen 5 years from now, so be it. Or tomorrow. But...it has to come from her. That's what makes all the spice and glory on this.

[MrGirthy]

I've seen many wives and girlfriends. In many cases as noted here their men want to watch or get involved. I understand the kink and respected their views but I always advocated against men's involvement in their wife's relationship with me. This is to preserve and keep each relationship as special and intimate. I always thought the connection between two people is special and it's part of what makes it so hot. For the husbands I think it's unhealthy to watch their wife getting intimate and cumming with another man, or it takes an extraordinarily strong mind to cope with it long term. Cuckolding can be very destructive to relationships long term.

[lisamyhotwife]

I've seen many wives and girlfriends. In many cases as noted here their men want to watch or get involved. I understand the kink and respected their views but I always advocated against men's involvement in their wife's relationship with me. This is to preserve and keep each relationship as special and intimate. I always thought the connection between two people is special and it's part of what makes it so hot. For the husbands I think it's unhealthy to watch their wife getting intimate and cumming with another man, or it takes an extraordinarily strong mind to cope with it long term. Cuckolding can be very destructive to relationships long term.

As a couple with over 25 years in the lifestyle and 50 years together I respectfully disagree. We are every bit in love with each other as the day we married. It has been a great ride and there is nothing sexier than seeing my wife cumming on my cock or another man’s cock. Is see her fucking and I think I am the luckiest man in the world and that she is the most beautiful person in the world.
Would do it again in a heart beat.

[SpicySaltnPepper]

I've seen many wives and girlfriends. In many cases as noted here their men want to watch or get involved. I understand the kink and respected their views but I always advocated against men's involvement in their wife's relationship with me. This is to preserve and keep each relationship as special and intimate. I always thought the connection between two people is special and it's part of what makes it so hot. For the husbands I think it's unhealthy to watch their wife getting intimate and cumming with another man, or it takes an extraordinarily strong mind to cope with it long term. Cuckolding can be very destructive to relationships long term.

This reads like something someone who has never been a bull and only fantasizes about being one would say.

[MrGirthy]

This reads like something someone who has never been a bull and only fantasizes about being one would say.

You got me, I'm a virgin.

[lisamyhotwife]

This reads like something someone who has never been a bull and only fantasizes about being one would say.

You got me, I'm a virgin.

Pretty sad giving advice when you have no clue!

[wannabecUKold]

This reads like something someone who has never been a bull and only fantasizes about being one would say.

You got me, I'm a virgin.

Pretty sad giving advice when you have no clue!

Surprising, really, given he has a cock to die for. Every cuckold's dream.

Edit: Yes I think that lisamyhotwife is probably right: photoshopping, but fun to imagine it.

[Tryagain]

That cock is not real...and I received a pic of it one time in response to an ad and he did not follow up.

[lisamyhotwife]

Yeah, there is a bit of photoshoping going on. A bit of a loser I think.

[SpicySaltnPepper]

This reads like something someone who has never been a bull and only fantasizes about being one would say.

You got me, I'm a virgin.

Yes, I'm aware.