Found Bigger Condoms in Girlfriend's Room, Help

[scarfolamew]

^ Agreed, all it demonstrates is that you're a confident and self-assured partner. And it's probably fine for Mia to have some close confidants she can run stuff by.

Thank you for sharing your account with us by the way!

[HenryB12]

Great update and trajectory, Henry.

First, you have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. Mainstream desires only have you disclosed to your girlfriend.

Second, you now know that whatever fantasies you share with your girlfriend are likely to be told to her friend. Your circumstance is better and can pace and edit your disclosures with that in mind.

Third, her close friend is now your best friend, at least in the short run. See if the two of them begin to drive your exploration forward. If so, take the ride.

Fourth, I think you can trust your sexy coed to take you to cool and safe places.

Can you share what else you know about her friend? Trusty? Gossipy?

As always, best luck.

I think I have calmed myself down about that. Almost everyone on here is saying that Mia sharing our sex life with Kate will be positive overall for us and will probably make her more comfortable with my fantasies.

Kate and I are already friends so I doubt she'll say anything to anyone else. And if she can help drive our exploration forward, I'm now ok with her knowing.

Kate is pretty trustworthy I would say. She definitely gossips with Mia about everything, but I don't think she does it with everyone she knows. She is pretty funny and she is good-looking. I've heard she sleeps around from Mia. Overall, a good person and friend to Mia and I.

Hi, I love your thread! My guess is that she talked to her friend over spring break, who said something like, “ Oh he’s got a cuckold fetish, that’s a good thing, it means you can fuck whomever you want and he will stick around! You should totally tell him about your past!”

Her talking to her friend may have been a very good thing for you!

Thanks. I now think they did talk about our fantasies conversations before and over spring break. Not sure if they would've made the jump to cuckolding as I haven't gone that far yet. I don't know if Mia would even know what it is lmao. Kate maybe would, but obviously we've never talked about it before so no way to know. Kate may have helped with her idea for the surprise is what I'm suspecting now.

That's what everyone is saying so I'll believe you. I'm not feeling uneasy about Kate knowing today.

'Just in'

'Just in'

Just the tip in

Lol I guess it is a little ironic. "Just in." Just(1)in.

That’s rough! Same thing happened to me. Started seeing this girl and one day I found a condom that wasn’t mine, like it wasn’t the brand I got. My heart dropped and my stomach was in a knot! The more I thought about it the more it turned me on but my ego got the best of me so I confronted her. In the end it was my fault for thinking we were exclusive when we didn’t talk about it. I would say, don’t bring it up. Enjoy your time with her if you think she’s worth it and if want something more serious, then have the talk with her. Hope that helps

Yeah, I'm not gonna bring up the condoms. My stomach was also in knots when I found them.

Henry, i was wondering if you've had that "relationship check in" discussion with Mia yet. From your side, i assume you see her as your girlfriend, "a keeper" (as you've said), and i assume you're exclusive. Maybe you're even ready to utter the "L" word. Do you know if Mia is on the same page? Just a thought......

I'm confused about the "relationship check in" you're talking about. Yes, we are exclusive and in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. And we've said the "L" word. Mia to me and me to Mia. She should be on the same page about that. Unless you are talking about the relationship check in, in which case, I'm confused and don't know. Sorry, just not sure what you mean.

It's not Mia that I have much trouble with (still a little nervous to say everything), it's her friend Kate maybe knowing that is stressing me out.

I get that, but what does she know? That you like to hear about your girlfriend’s past lovers? That it turns you on?

The response to that is, so what? You’re embracing everything about her, including her sexual past. You’re not trying to pretend she is something she’s not (a virgin), you’re letting her be that with you. I think that’s something that is respectable, respectful, and not worthy of shame.

You're right. I've calmed myself down about that. I'm just not used to others knowing about my sex life. I was overreacting and it isn't that big of a deal. Thanks.

^ Agreed, all it demonstrates is that you're a confident and self-assured partner. And it's probably fine for Mia to have some close confidants she can run stuff by.

Thank you for sharing your account with us by the way!

Yeah. Thank you all for calming my nerves and explaining why this is actually a good thing.

You're welcome. Feel free to ask me any questions you might have (goes for everyone).

[HenryB12]

Shoot, forgot to put the update after all those replies.

Mini Update: The party went great. The two games yesterday were very good. I had a lotta fun hanging out with friends.

Kate acted completely normal. She ended up sitting next to me on the couch and we talked for a little while, mostly me telling her about the players and games as she asked questions. Then, Mia squeezed in between us, and her and Kate started talking. That was basically all my interactions with Kate.

After the games, Mia and Kate left to go hang out at Kate's place. I helped clean up and headed home cause I was tired.

[3532734dreamer]

Shoot, forgot to put the update after all those replies.

Mini Update: The party went great. The two games yesterday were very good. I had a lotta fun hanging out with friends.

Kate acted completely normal. She ended up sitting next to me on the couch and we talked for a little while, mostly me telling her about the players and games as she asked questions. Then, Mia squeezed in between us, and her and Kate started talking. That was basically all my interactions with Kate.

After the games, Mia and Kate left to go hang out at Kate's place. I helped clean up and headed home cause I was tired.

Thanks for the update, Henry!

Out of curiosity, how far down the rabbit hole do you think you'd want to go? Just hearing about Mia's past? Maybe with roleplaying? Mia actually flirting? Fooling around (lightly)? Full on sex? With Justin? Or someone else?
Obviously there is a progression. But where do you think your limit is right now? Or what is the nature of the relationship you WANT to be in with Mia?

Anyone want to take bets (figure of speech - not actually interested in betting) on what Mia and Kate could have been talking about while they were hanging out at Kate's place?

[hornedhubby]

Let your imagination run, Henry.

You can do that and still put your girlfriend and relationship first. If the following Springsteen quote clicks with you, she's probably The One:

"To her Cheshire smile I'll stand on file. She's all I ever wanted."

From "For You." On youtube for free. We got two generations of gap, but some stuff is timeless. Like kink.

Not pushing you to the altar. But I know you've got this. Best luck.

[HenryB12]

Shoot, forgot to put the update after all those replies.

Mini Update: The party went great. The two games yesterday were very good. I had a lotta fun hanging out with friends.

Kate acted completely normal. She ended up sitting next to me on the couch and we talked for a little while, mostly me telling her about the players and games as she asked questions. Then, Mia squeezed in between us, and her and Kate started talking. That was basically all my interactions with Kate.

After the games, Mia and Kate left to go hang out at Kate's place. I helped clean up and headed home cause I was tired.

Thanks for the update, Henry!

Out of curiosity, how far down the rabbit hole do you think you'd want to go? Just hearing about Mia's past? Maybe with roleplaying? Mia actually flirting? Fooling around (lightly)? Full on sex? With Justin? Or someone else?
Obviously there is a progression. But where do you think your limit is right now? Or what is the nature of the relationship you WANT to be in with Mia?

Anyone want to take bets (figure of speech - not actually interested in betting) on what Mia and Kate could have been talking about while they were hanging out at Kate's place?

I would want Mia to sleep with someone else eventually. Could be Justin or someone new. Still a ways from that happening though. But to get there, like you said, there is a progression. All the things you listed above turn me on and would be enjoyable to see Mia do and experience with her. I would want the nature of our relationship to be her cuckolding me. Sleeping with another guy.

So my limit is there I guess. But from what I've seen (and you guys can correct if I'm wrong), is that limits/hard boundaries change over time for many couples doing this. And of course it depends on Mia's boundaries as well.

Let your imagination run, Henry.

You can do that and still put your girlfriend and relationship first. If the following Springsteen quote clicks with you, she's probably The One:

"To her Cheshire smile I'll stand on file. She's all I ever wanted."

From "For You." On youtube for free. We got two generations of gap, but some stuff is timeless. Like kink.

Not pushing you to the altar. But I know you've got this. Best luck.

Yeah, my imagination has been running a lot more recently. I will continue to put Mia and our relationship first.

Thanks. I appreciate the well wishes.

[HenryB12]

Update:
Sunday night: Had normal sex.

Tuesday: Had more normal sex but during aftercare, I don’t know what came over me, but I had the balls to ask more about Justin. Mia was a little flustered at first, confirming my suspicion that she wanted me to wear the blindfold during the surprise to make her more comfortable talking about it. However, as we kept talking, she got more and more comfortable. Some notable things that we talked about.

She showed me some pictures of Justin.
I told her it turns me on to hear about this and she doesn’t need to worry about upsetting me.
They would have quite a bit of sex in his car. Her favorite positions with him were doggystyle and cowgirl, both in the back seats.
They also got caught in his car one time by an assistant coach.
We might try some car sex sometime.
After she was done sharing, I told her that I feel closer to her after learning more about her.

Throughout Mia talking about him, I made sure to give her lots of positive reinforcement which I think helped in making it less awkward for her.

[hwlurker88]

Excellent job to gently push her and excellent job to reassure her that you feel closer to her for sharing that info!

[HenryB12]

Excellent job to gently push her and excellent job to reassure her that you feel closer to her for sharing that info!

Thanks, IDK who said it on here but I took the closer line from them. So thank you to whoever suggested that as well.

Also, someone asked about me about Justin's appearance in PMs. Figured more people probably want to know as well. Mia showed me his instagram pics to see what he looks like. Probably 5'10"-6'. Has an athletic build but definitely has some beer weight. Black hair. Decent looking guy, no model but not ugly either. I would say me and him are about the same level of attractiveness.

[jratt85]

So question... What would you do if you found out she got banged by someone else on her spring break and that Kate (and probably Mia) was/were expecting you to ask what she did on spring break? What if Kate asked "how'd it go?" wondering if you had noticed she had been used by someone else before you got there?

Sorry if this is going nuclear with it, just one of those feelings I get sometimes that almost always turn out to be right... almost always.

[HenryB12]

So question... What would you do if you found out she got banged by someone else on her spring break and that Kate (and probably Mia) was/were expecting you to ask what she did on spring break? What if Kate asked "how'd it go?" wondering if you had noticed she had been used by someone else before you got there?

Sorry if this is going nuclear with it, just one of those feelings I get sometimes that almost always turn out to be right... almost always.

Honestly, I'd be pretty upset. I want to Mia sleep with someone else after we talk about it, not to cheat on me. I'd feel really betrayed. We talked about what she did over spring break, but obviously no mention of her sleeping with anyone. Mia didn't feel any different when we had sex for the first time after spring break.

It is pretty nuclear. I personally don't think she cheated over the break. It always could happen (anyone can cheat), I just don't think she did. I hope that this is one of the times your gut feeling is wrong.

[hornedhubby]

Excellent reply, Henry.

Set your expectations of Mia high and your expectations of yourself even higher.

And carry on. You've figured it out. Trust yourself and your innate instinct to love and be patience in service to your relationship.

[hornedhubby]

Shit. Double post deleted. Apologies.

[HenryB12]

Excellent reply, Henry.

Set your expectations of Mia high and your expectations of yourself even higher.

And carry on. You've figured it out. Trust yourself and your innate instinct to love and be patience in service to your relationship.

Thanks.



Sorry for the lack of updates. Life has been really busy lately.

Update:

We’ve mostly been having our normal vanilla sex, but I will ask questions about Justin more casually outside of the bedroom. Some new things I found out are:
They rarely used condoms.
He would often cum in her or give her facials.
She did hear about his sexual ability from her friends and wanted to see how good he was.
He goes to college a long ways away, so no chance for a potential meet up in the future. (Unless he comes home for the summer.)
She reiterated that he could last a long time.
I asked Mia who lasts longer, me or Justin, and she said Justin. I did this to make her more comfortable comparing us.

Last night, we had sex without a condom. We pretty much always use protection because of me (maybe a few times Mia and I have done it without). She is on birth control and wants to go without a condom, but I have always been super paranoid about BC or the condom failing and my partner getting pregnant. However, her admitting to me that her and Justin would fuck raw almost every time really turned me on.

She was happily surprised when I didn’t grab one and started fucking her without a condom. Her happiness didn’t last long as I came pretty fast. It does feel a lot better and is harder to not cum fast.

Progress has slowed because of school and other life things getting in the way. Should have more free time for a little while so hopefully things pick up. She seems a lot more comfortable talking about sex in general as well as talking about Justin. Being patient has paid off.

[3532734dreamer]

Excellent reply, Henry.

Set your expectations of Mia high and your expectations of yourself even higher.

And carry on. You've figured it out. Trust yourself and your innate instinct to love and be patience in service to your relationship.

Thanks.



Sorry for the lack of updates. Life has been really busy lately.

Update:

We’ve mostly been having our normal vanilla sex, but I will ask questions about Justin more casually outside of the bedroom. Some new things I found out are:
They rarely used condoms.
He would often cum in her or give her facials.
She did hear about his sexual ability from her friends and wanted to see how good he was.
He goes to college a long ways away, so no chance for a potential meet up in the future. (Unless he comes home for the summer.)
She reiterated that he could last a long time.
I asked Mia who lasts longer, me or Justin, and she said Justin. I did this to make her more comfortable comparing us.

Last night, we had sex without a condom. We pretty much always use protection because of me (maybe a few times Mia and I have done it without). She is on birth control and wants to go without a condom, but I have always been super paranoid about BC or the condom failing and my partner getting pregnant. However, her admitting to me that her and Justin would fuck raw almost every time really turned me on.

She was happily surprised when I didn’t grab one and started fucking her without a condom. Her happiness didn’t last long as I came pretty fast. It does feel a lot better and is harder to not cum fast.

Progress has slowed because of school and other life things getting in the way. Should have more free time for a little while so hopefully things pick up. She seems a lot more comfortable talking about sex in general as well as talking about Justin. Being patient has paid off.

Hi Henry.

Thanks for the update. Always hot to hear what's been going on.

Great that you feel you've been making progress and that Mia is opening up more. That's an important step.

You don't seem to be lasting long before you cum - very hot, especially since Mia is saying Justin could last a long time. From previous posts you seem to make Mia cum from oral before penetration. But what do you do after? Does she want to continue somehow? Would you rub and finger her to another orgasm? Would you go down on her again after cumming inside her?

[elina]

...........
She was happily surprised when I didn’t grab one and started fucking her without a condom. Her happiness didn’t last long as I came pretty fast. It does feel a lot better and is harder to not cum fast.

.......

Just keep fucking Her without using a condom and try to slow down a bit when you feel that you are getting closer to cum,
you should be able to train yourself to last longer....

Or just stay inside Her with your dick after cuming, move slowly around untill you regain erection and then continue fucking Her, second (and third time) you will last longer.

Sincerely
elina

[hwlurker88]

They rarely used condoms.
He would often cum in her or give her facials.
She did hear about his sexual ability from her friends and wanted to see how good he was.
He goes to college a long ways away, so no chance for a potential meet up in the future. (Unless he comes home for the summer.)
She reiterated that he could last a long time.
I asked Mia who lasts longer, me or Justin, and she said Justin. I did this to make her more comfortable comparing us.

I think it's an excellent move to get her comfortable comparing the two of you. I think it does two things for you. 1) gets her comfortable talking about him and comparing. 2) it gets her reminiscing about past lovers and how good they were.

Just remember to be very appreciative of her willingness to share and be honest with you even if it's to your detriment!

[avid fan]

Thanks Henry, as hinted at above I wonder if there's a perverse thrill in meeting her expectations regarding your lack of staying power, and demonstrating all too clearly how much better Justin is....the mental stimulation of cuckolding makes it something of a self fulfilling prophecy.

[Mgcouplemn]

I met my wife at a swingers party many years ago, I knew she fucked lots of guys, I saw them doing her. When she moved in with me she showed me her drawer full of everything from small to very large condoms, She told me that from then on it was my job to keep the drawer stocked. if you two are practicing Cucks then ask her about getting all the sizes, just in case you need them, she might just tell you she has them.

[jratt85]

Another option.. how would you respond if Mia and Kate enjoy time together as more than just friends? How would you respond if you found out that they enjoy watching porn together and using toys or maybe Kate even puts on a big strapon and uses it on Mia? (obviously most guys dream of having a threesome with two women but..) I have a feeling I know the answer.. which is similar to how I'd feel.. that cheating is cheating no matter what sex the partner is, that unless she's talked to you about it and you've agreed it shouldn't happen.. but then not everyone is that way. (sorry I just now read the comment about them going home together and her saying that Kate gets around)

I actually used to know a girl that her best friend got her into a LOT of dirty situations growing up, including challenges to see who could get the most dicks in a day, the most creampies, the most at once etc.. unfortunately I was never one of those dicks. (and she had major issues with her self esteem about it afterwards.. including not wanting to touch me because I was "too pure" and she had been too big of a slut to be allowed to touch me.. not in my eyes)

[Wantsomefunto]

Henry
Great updates and I am glued to your progress. Maybe next time you have sex with her, blindfold her and as you enter her, tell her how you bet she misses Justin’s bigger dick and how he could last so much longer than you. Get her thinking about bigger dicks and long lasting sex.

[HenryB12]

Excellent reply, Henry.

Set your expectations of Mia high and your expectations of yourself even higher.

And carry on. You've figured it out. Trust yourself and your innate instinct to love and be patience in service to your relationship.

Thanks.



Sorry for the lack of updates. Life has been really busy lately.

Update:

We’ve mostly been having our normal vanilla sex, but I will ask questions about Justin more casually outside of the bedroom. Some new things I found out are:
They rarely used condoms.
He would often cum in her or give her facials.
She did hear about his sexual ability from her friends and wanted to see how good he was.
He goes to college a long ways away, so no chance for a potential meet up in the future. (Unless he comes home for the summer.)
She reiterated that he could last a long time.
I asked Mia who lasts longer, me or Justin, and she said Justin. I did this to make her more comfortable comparing us.

Last night, we had sex without a condom. We pretty much always use protection because of me (maybe a few times Mia and I have done it without). She is on birth control and wants to go without a condom, but I have always been super paranoid about BC or the condom failing and my partner getting pregnant. However, her admitting to me that her and Justin would fuck raw almost every time really turned me on.

She was happily surprised when I didn’t grab one and started fucking her without a condom. Her happiness didn’t last long as I came pretty fast. It does feel a lot better and is harder to not cum fast.

Progress has slowed because of school and other life things getting in the way. Should have more free time for a little while so hopefully things pick up. She seems a lot more comfortable talking about sex in general as well as talking about Justin. Being patient has paid off.

Hi Henry.

Thanks for the update. Always hot to hear what's been going on.

Great that you feel you've been making progress and that Mia is opening up more. That's an important step.

You don't seem to be lasting long before you cum - very hot, especially since Mia is saying Justin could last a long time. From previous posts you seem to make Mia cum from oral before penetration. But what do you do after? Does she want to continue somehow? Would you rub and finger her to another orgasm? Would you go down on her again after cumming inside her?

You're welcome.

Yeah Mia is opening up more. I'm asking questions about past experiences, which has been a lot better than getting her to compare me and Justin. I'll start doing that soon but I like what I've gone for so far.

I think my stamina is probably average (I'll give myself some credit lol). Last time, I came very quickly as not using a condom made it feel better, as well as me imagining Justin and Mia. But it is hot to think about how long he could last with her. Yes, I try to make her cum from oral before penetration. She will cum from penetration occasionally, but I try to make sure she cums at least once every time. After she cums from oral, normally I'll start kissing her and reach for a condom. Unless she wants me to keep eating her out for another orgasm. If she wants to get to penetration pretty fast, I'll sometimes start fucking, pull out, do oral, and go back and forth. It's not one set thing. I do like giving her orgasms, sometimes she wants more oral or just penetration. I'm not sure about going down on her after cumming inside her. I've gone down on her after cumming in a condom, but I have only cum in her a few times throughout our relationship (most recently earlier this week) as I was insistent on using protection. So not something I've done before.

...........
She was happily surprised when I didn’t grab one and started fucking her without a condom. Her happiness didn’t last long as I came pretty fast. It does feel a lot better and is harder to not cum fast.

.......

Just keep fucking Her without using a condom and try to slow down a bit when you feel that you are getting closer to cum,
you should be able to train yourself to last longer....

Or just stay inside Her with your dick after cuming, move slowly around untill you regain erection and then continue fucking Her, second (and third time) you will last longer.

Sincerely
elina

Yeah, I'm sure I'll be able to last longer with more practice with the sensations of going raw. I was really feeling good and lost control. But yes, I'll slow down when getting close to cumming. Might try your second suggestion also.

They rarely used condoms.
He would often cum in her or give her facials.
She did hear about his sexual ability from her friends and wanted to see how good he was.
He goes to college a long ways away, so no chance for a potential meet up in the future. (Unless he comes home for the summer.)
She reiterated that he could last a long time.
I asked Mia who lasts longer, me or Justin, and she said Justin. I did this to make her more comfortable comparing us.

I think it's an excellent move to get her comfortable comparing the two of you. I think it does two things for you. 1) gets her comfortable talking about him and comparing. 2) it gets her reminiscing about past lovers and how good they were.

Just remember to be very appreciative of her willingness to share and be honest with you even if it's to your detriment!

Yeah, you read my mind. Exactly what I want her to feel/think about.

I am always telling Mia after she shares that I feel more connected to her. And I have mentioned a few times that I always want her to be honest when sharing the details, even if she thinks it will hurt me. I give lots of words of affirmation as well. And it is working well.

[hornedhubby]

Try not to compare yourself to Justin as you move forward.

Get into Mia, instead. The technique you are using to slow yourself down now that you're going bareback, in order to give her more, is exactly the ticket.

And good for you for figuring it out yourself. Fuck her until you're close, give her enthusiastic oral, fuck her again, more oral, ad infinitum.

Read about Kama Sutra. You already have the inclination. Not suggesting intellectualizing your fun, but your instincts are excellent.

So explore.

Not to brag, but it took me one spring and summer to figure out what my wife-to-be wanted: to be my sexual center of attention. Forty-five years later we're still enjoying our own version of banquet sex. It was the discovery of a lifetime. My consolation prize for her never going down the hotwife slide, in spite of my encouragement, is knowing that I gave her everything she needed.

Inspire yourself to be better than Justin, for Mia's sake. Give her that. She's woman enough already to appreciate it. And so is her friend, whose admiration you will win over big time if you simply recognize what you can do for Mia.

If she eventually wants even more, and you're willing to enable her desires, that's cool, too, potentially. If you can take her appreciation of her sexuality to that level, it would be a gift that both of you could share. If both of you are so inclined. Does that make sense?

But focus on the moment at hand and keep your mind on the now.

[hornedhubby]

Academic year is wrapping up.

What are the summer plans for you and lovely Mia?

[HenryB12]

Thanks Henry, as hinted at above I wonder if there's a perverse thrill in meeting her expectations regarding your lack of staying power, and demonstrating all too clearly how much better Justin is....the mental stimulation of cuckolding makes it something of a self fulfilling prophecy.

Like I'm subconsciously wanting to and actually cumming early? I'm not ruling it not as a possibility, but I do try to last for a decent length of time. Thinking about cuckolding does shorten the time of our sex though.

Another option.. how would you respond if Mia and Kate enjoy time together as more than just friends? How would you respond if you found out that they enjoy watching porn together and using toys or maybe Kate even puts on a big strapon and uses it on Mia? (obviously most guys dream of having a threesome with two women but..) I have a feeling I know the answer.. which is similar to how I'd feel.. that cheating is cheating no matter what sex the partner is, that unless she's talked to you about it and you've agreed it shouldn't happen.. but then not everyone is that way. (sorry I just now read the comment about them going home together and her saying that Kate gets around)

I actually used to know a girl that her best friend got her into a LOT of dirty situations growing up, including challenges to see who could get the most dicks in a day, the most creampies, the most at once etc.. unfortunately I was never one of those dicks. (and she had major issues with her self esteem about it afterwards.. including not wanting to touch me because I was "too pure" and she had been too big of a slut to be allowed to touch me.. not in my eyes)

I agree with your statement that cheating is cheating, doesn't matter if it's with a man or woman. Regarding Mia and Kate getting together and doing sexual stuff with each other, I doubt that they have done anything more than kissing while drunk. So if they would've done anything like you described above, I would consider that cheating. And yes, if we talked about it, I would be open to them doing stuff I guess. Mia hasn't ever said anything about being bi or I'm not sure she would even want to.

Henry
Great updates and I am glued to your progress. Maybe next time you have sex with her, blindfold her and as you enter her, tell her how you bet she misses Justin’s bigger dick and how he could last so much longer than you. Get her thinking about bigger dicks and long lasting sex.

I haven't used the blindfold and talked about Justin together for the last few weeks (have done each individually though). She is way more comfortable talking about him. Will get more into this when I post the update.