Anybody ever pay their wife to hotwife or cuck them?

[safado]

Posting this here because of the many experienced members.

It's inspired by and related to this thread viewtopic.php?f=5&t=75447

I'm thinking of offering my wife a sum of money to fuck another man. I haven't pushed her to hotwife, just told her I'd be turned on, but she's said no so far.

Details like how we find him would be discussed once she agrees and the cost is set. I'd prefer for her to be picked up and for her to do the choosing but however it happens it's going to be good.

Obviously this requires a certain level of dependency and desire for money on the part of the wife, along with separate bank accounts and a prenup

My first wife was a hotwife, it was awesome.

[MarknSusan]

We know of a couple in the lifestyle where the husband transfers money into the wife’s account anytime she hooks up with another guy if he’s not there. So, yes that happens.

[Parsifal]

What a hot idea! But I wonder if it's felonious. Good question for a law school exam. Hmmm. The answer in Texas would depend on the intent of the transfer. Did the husband transfer community property to the wife’s separate estate with the intent of compensating her for that service?

[safado]

What a hot idea! But I wonder if it's felonious. Good question for a law school exam. Hmmm. The answer in Texas would depend on the intent of the transfer. Did the husband transfer community property to the wife’s separate estate with the intent of compensating her for that service?

I've got no legal worries where I am. I doubt it could be prosecuted anywhere. Husband/wife privilege and privilege against self-incrimination being two big impediments to prosecution.

I don't want to get into legal technicalities, want to discuss the psychology

[Parsifal]

What a hot idea! But I wonder if it's felonious. Good question for a law school exam. Hmmm. The answer in Texas would depend on the intent of the transfer. Did the husband transfer community property to the wife’s separate estate with the intent of compensating her for that service?

I've got no legal worries where I am. I doubt it could be prosecuted anywhere. Husband/wife privilege and privilege against self-incrimination being two big impediments to prosecution.

I don't want to get into legal technicalities, want to discuss the psychology

Understood. The legalese was intended as humor. I forget sometimes people take me seriously. Sorry.

Incidentally, the husband-wife privilege doesn't cover spousal communications in furtherance of a crime. But as a practical matter, what prosecutor would ever seek an indictment in such a situation? That's why I suggested the problem in a humorous light as a hypothetical, not as an admonition. I might even suggest it to my wife, in fact, because it is hot, and I know not to compensate her separate estate. Community to community is a sham "transaction."

The psychology of it is, you're right, far more titillating. My wife loves games in which she takes on a naughty aspect. Prostitution is such a serious taboo that it's criminalized, so that aspect does factor into the psychology of it's appeal. There are a number of posts on this site by one or the other spouse in a marriage in which the wife is a call girl of some sort. I too find that erotic as hell. My wife has toyed with the idea of having a members only site for pay, but she's afraid her friends or family will discover it. But the idea of a [prostitution] game in which I [pay] her for another man's benefit is a definite possibility.

[safado]

The psychology of it is, you're right, far more titillating. My wife loves games in which she takes on a naughty aspect. Prostitution is such a serious taboo that it's criminalized, so that aspect does factor into the psychology of it's appeal. There are a number of posts on this site by one or the other spouse in a marriage in which the wife is a call girl of some sort. I too find that erotic as hell. My wife has toyed with the idea of having a members only site for pay, but she's afraid her friends or family will discover it. But the idea of a [prostitution] game in which I [pay] her for another man's benefit is a definite possibility.

I'm going to introduce the idea to my wife the next time she asks me for money, as a "joke." Or probably better I'll use a progression, with her letting me use a large vibrator on her at the first step, or her dressing slutty on a night out etc. Cash-on-delivery each time.

[LouiseQ]

Surely it all depends on her reaction to the prospect of having sex with someone else. That would, I would have thought, be the first step. I think most women would regard your suggestion as tantamount to prostitution. In my experience, offering guidance and advice to others, some women find the concept of prostitution highly arousing. Psychologically, it must be related to submission - if he buys me he can (within reason) do what he likes with me. Some women fantasise about situations they would ordinarily find unacceptable - bondage for example - but which becomes enormously exciting when she has no control over it.

louise.q.watson@gmail.com

[mmcnx2]

I was with a couple that she made hubby pay her for the privilege of cleaning up our creampies.

[money_for_nothin23]

If you make a "game" out of this, where it becomes more of a dare game, depending on the person it might be fun. But if there is ever a risk of communicating a message that says, "I paid you therefore you have to do xxxxxx", I think it is safe to say this will NOT work out well for you 99% of the time. The other 1% will just say fuck it, if he is stupid enough to pay me, then Im not gonna say no.....but she will not have respect for you.
The truth is that money is a man's currency and source of worldly power. Sex is a woman's currency and source of worldly power. In practicality, they are traded. Call it a marriage. Call it prostitution. Regardless of what you call it, they ARE traded for the mutual benefit of the trading partners.

Maybe try out a list of dares you want her to try. Mention you are open to negotiating a reward....which could be cleaning a room, cash, committing to a vacation, remodeling a room, buying her a car, etc. Whatever. Start out with small items that turn you on..... post a faceless pic of yourself topless or naked on the internet, wear a see-through blouse to a local restaurant or bar, wear a minidress out dancing to a local bar with me, use a remote vibrator in public controlled by me....real orgasm gets a bonus, walk a hiking path topless, flirt with guys at the bar, etc. She can either do these things or not, but once you both agree to the dare, the reward only happens if she follows through, and YOU MUST follow through. The reward can be negotiated for each item. You can then add more daring items to the list....dance at amateur night topless at the local strip club, more daring dance nude if permitted. Strip for your buddies when they are over. Eventually add more daring items.... Show a buddy, or group of buddies, her technique using a vibrator, make out with a guy she finds attractive at a bar, etc. If she won't do something, you can either put it aside, or increase the reward to encourage her to push her limits. Make sure that with each item, she is getting lots of praise and recognition from you reassuring her that it makes you very happy to be sharing the fun with her.

To be blunt, I would much rather reward my wife for this fun than some stranger! I want to enhance her life so that she can enhance mine. move yourselves outside of your comfort zones. you will learn what her limits truly are, and you will also find out what this is all worth to you.....all while keeping the money in the family.

[money_for_nothin23]

I would also add that the healthiest relationships are not "transactional". Instead you are just wanting to do those things that make the other partner happiest.... because they are doing the same. The transactional approach might be a tool to get the ball rolling though. When you are rewarded with the right things, it is amazing the lengths you will go to get those things you really want. This is why I mentioned to present it as fun, not as a contract. Something to encourage each other to move from the neutral position taking actions that will truly enhance each other's experience.

And it is a 2-way street. Just like you come up with a list of things you want, she should also come up with a list of things she wants. Then you can negotiate trades.

[Parsifal]

I would also add that the healthiest relationships are not "transactional". Instead you are just wanting to do those things that make the other partner happiest.... because they are doing the same. The transactional approach might be a tool to get the ball rolling though. When you are rewarded with the right things, it is amazing the lengths you will go to get those things you really want. This is why I mentioned to present it as fun, not as a contract. Something to encourage each other to move from the neutral position taking actions that will truly enhance each other's experience.

And it is a 2-way street. Just like you come up with a list of things you want, she should also come up with a list of things she wants. Then you can negotiate trades.

So many of these words distracting carry negative connotations. In this context, the transaction is a form of role play, and for wives who are turned on by feeling objectified and made a sexual commodity, playing the role of a prostitute is fun. The bargaining between wife and husband for that purpose is fun. The marriage doesn't become transactional (in the sense of a business arrangement) simply because the spouses, for fun, pretend the wife's body for sex can be "purchased." It is a game.

[safado]

If you make a "game" out of this, where it becomes more of a dare game, depending on the person it might be fun. But if there is ever a risk of communicating a message that says, "I paid you therefore you have to do xxxxxx", I think it is safe to say this will NOT work out well for you 99% of the time. The other 1% will just say fuck it, if he is stupid enough to pay me, then Im not gonna say no.....but she will not have respect for you.
The truth is that money is a man's currency and source of worldly power. Sex is a woman's currency and source of worldly power. In practicality, they are traded. Call it a marriage. Call it prostitution. Regardless of what you call it, they ARE traded for the mutual benefit of the trading partners.

Maybe try out a list of dares you want her to try. Mention you are open to negotiating a reward....which could be cleaning a room, cash, committing to a vacation, remodeling a room, buying her a car, etc. Whatever. Start out with small items that turn you on..... post a faceless pic of yourself topless or naked on the internet, wear a see-through blouse to a local restaurant or bar, wear a minidress out dancing to a local bar with me, use a remote vibrator in public controlled by me....real orgasm gets a bonus, walk a hiking path topless, flirt with guys at the bar, etc. She can either do these things or not, but once you both agree to the dare, the reward only happens if she follows through, and YOU MUST follow through. The reward can be negotiated for each item. You can then add more daring items to the list....dance at amateur night topless at the local strip club, more daring dance nude if permitted. Strip for your buddies when they are over. Eventually add more daring items.... Show a buddy, or group of buddies, her technique using a vibrator, make out with a guy she finds attractive at a bar, etc. If she won't do something, you can either put it aside, or increase the reward to encourage her to push her limits. Make sure that with each item, she is getting lots of praise and recognition from you reassuring her that it makes you very happy to be sharing the fun with her.

To be blunt, I would much rather reward my wife for this fun than some stranger! I want to enhance her life so that she can enhance mine. move yourselves outside of your comfort zones. you will learn what her limits truly are, and you will also find out what this is all worth to you.....all while keeping the money in the family.

Excellent suggestions which I will try to put into practice, starting small. The "game" aspect is important, and playing the game with multiple scenarios and paying her to do progressively more daring stuff is also a great idea. I don't want to start out at my ultimate goal and get shot down. I also don't want to negotiate against myself on the smaller things and jack up the prices too much!

As you say and somewhat contradict in your next post, male/female relationships are highly transactional.

[money_for_nothin23]

Don't think of it as "paying" her. Think of it as trading with her, or rewarding her. She gives you x, you give her y. All things are on the table, but nobody has to act on any of them. The hard part will be making the lists of what each of you truly want. Its easy to ask for easy stuff. It's hard to ask for hard stuff. You can ask, but it does not mean you can come to an agreement. Maybe she says....sure, I'll do a 10-guy gangbang for 4 hours, but I want $500k to do it.....but you don't have a half million dollars! So not gonna happen. Maybe later she needs $10k for something and she comes down in what she will trade....or maybe she wants a $30k kitchen remodel. This is a tool you can both use to maximize the benefit of the relationship for both of you.....both working your hardest to ensure the other partner has what they want in life and remain motivated to provide it.

And i would add, depending on the person, you always run the risk of her using a "victim tactic" if you bring this up because she is comfortable with the way things are. It goes like this: "I am hurt that you would bring this up. You are supposed to love me just the way I am, and now you want other things." I have heard more women say this and it is a variation of victim mentality.... an excuse to remain status quo. Even though you bring up your needs, she ALWAYS has the option to say she doesn't want to negotiate. But if she wants what she wants.....things in life are not free. So she gets what she deserves. That is the reality....everyone wants something for free, but life is not free. Everything we have had a price. The only question is what is the price. Playing neutral baits the person who wants the most, so you have to be willing to walk from the game and put it aside, but leave it dangling out there cause eventually she may come back to the table. it's not that you don't love her. you do. it's more that you will both work together to improve your lives making them more enjoyable and thrilling.