Figuring it out

[Seekingmore12]

First thank you for you well wishes….reality is I am trying to process this loss as I just returned from my annual boys trip, it’s hitting home hard now as my reality has been turned around and I simply can’t go backwards.

Very early on in our relationship, I had said to lfa that this would end one day and we would never know when, how or why, who knew it turned out to be now.

This all been said, I absolutely have zero ill will for both Lfa and adventurer, I always felt welcomed and yes loved. I am very grateful that we have shared many amazing memories that will forever be with me.

These two are the poster child of what an amazing partnership is and will be forever humbled that they touched my life…..yes I am old and laughed about a old show called “ touched by a angel “, while cheesy it rings so true.

So for now, I will be focusing on my new reality and life going forward with a very special place being reserved for these two amazing people.

G

[venus-can99]

G - thanks for the post and welcome back. You are the ideal third in a relationship that is so loving as lfa and A.
Wish you the very best in your adventures and I hope another lucky woman finds you in your new reality.

[coastalkid]

First thank you for you well wishes….reality is I am trying to process this loss as I just returned from my annual boys trip, it’s hitting home hard now as my reality has been turned around and I simply can’t go backwards.

Very early on in our relationship, I had said to lfa that this would end one day and we would never know when, how or why, who knew it turned out to be now.

This all been said, I absolutely have zero ill will for both Lfa and adventurer, I always felt welcomed and yes loved. I am very grateful that we have shared many amazing memories that will forever be with me.

These two are the poster child of what an amazing partnership is and will be forever humbled that they touched my life…..yes I am old and laughed about a old show called “ touched by a angel “, while cheesy it rings so true.

So for now, I will be focusing on my new reality and life going forward with a very special place being reserved for these two amazing people.

G

First off I give you great credit for your grateful comments towards LFA and Adventurer. You got to have an experience that very, very few get to have. Your pain in the loss is palpable. In spite of knowing that this day was an inevitability, it would be difficult for you to prepare for. You clearly were giving LFA the experience she wanted. It's my opinion that LFA ultimately was not giving Adventurer the experience he wanted (whatever that may be). As far as I can tell from posts you were never disrespectful intentionally or unintentionally. You had no way of knowing how LFA and Adventurer were processing your part in this.

Since this isn't the first time they put the brakes on, if LFA reaches out to you again and says they're "back in the game", will you jump at the chance or will you be a little reluctant. I gather from the tone of your post that you are feeling some pain from this course of events. Will those emotions you feel give you any reluctance?

Once again, I have great respect for you and your gratitude towards LFA and Adventurer. Maybe you were ultimately TOO much of a perfect fit.

[Lookingforadventure]

Really gonna miss your updates. You’re one of the ones i continue to check in on daily even after our adventure ended a year and a half ago. Kind of ironic. I’ve mentioned several times the similarities between you and Shirley. Oddly, she’s the one that ended it and I wish it could continue. In your case Adventurer decided to end it. Good luck to all 3 of you. Shirley has maintained that if she could find a guy like G that would only be with her and her with him, she would return to being a hotwife. We just haven’t been able to find it. You all were very lucky to have found each other.

Thank you Fox. You and Shirley seem like friends to me after these years. I wish you both all the best as well.

[Lookingforadventure]

Thanks lfa for posting about the recent meeting with G which ended up being the last hurrah. It has been a delight to read all of your updates with occasional colour commentary from A and G. Hope all 3 of you find the strength to move on to the next phase and continue to remain friends.

Thank you Venus.

[Lookingforadventure]

LFA:
Thanks for responding. Your response forced me to think a little bit harder about why I'm here, on this site, and why I have been following your story so intently.
Let me explain. I'm unfortunately a wannabe. Of all the different versions of the lifestyle on this site, the one that appeals to me the most is what I think of as the true "hotwife" lifestyle. By that, I mean a wife that is sexually active outside the marriage with the husband's full support. In my mind, whether the husband participates or wanders himself is irrelevant to the hotwife theme. She being mentally and physically sexually active outside the marriage and him being fully supportive of that is the key. Your story conveyed that you and A had that relationship. I have found a few other couples on here that have been living a similar lifestyle and I am enjoying them as well.
What your response has forced me to realize, is that though their stories are similar, they are also different. Specifically; although you have had several different participants, for the most part you had G and he was your main "focus". The other couples I have been following have different relationships they are pursuing. One hotwife has several "midterm" relationships going at once. As she drops one she tends to find another to keep her stable "stocked". Again, her husband is fully aware and supportive of her activity and participates at different levels with different participants. Another hotwife has had one participant for a very long time. Another hotwife has had a variety of participants, pretty much one at a time.

I am enjoying following all of these stories for the same reason. The wife is mentally and physically sexually active, and the husband is fully aware and fully supportive. I think what I am liking about your situation is that as soon as A stopped being fully supportive you stopped the life style. Hopefully it is only a pause because A and you are able to work through some stuff, but for now it has stopped.

Of course, the other reason I have been following your and the other stories is I have been living the hotwife lifestyle vicariously. And in all of the examples, that lifestyle is awesome. So, having said all of that, I want to apologize for having slighted the impact the change has had on G. By the way, it has been very enjoyable having been able to follow the story from his perspective as well.

As I have been writing this, a question has come to mind. I am going to ask it hoping not to offend you but hopefully as a way of trying to understand what has changed. At first you had a variety of participants, but at the end it was only G. Did A enjoy the variety of participants, but became less supportive when it became only one other? I ask that only in trying to understand better the husband's perspective on the lifestyle, which I have to admit is kind of weird. She gets all the fun, and his enjoyment is her getting all the fun.

Anyway, I thank you for sharing your experience with us, and for letting us participate in this small way. May you, A, and G live long and prosper.

Late

Thanks Late. I'm glad that you have enjoyed our story. I admit that I wrote it mostly for myself, as a way of capturing memories and processing my feelings. But I also liked the thought of other people reading our posts and maybe getting something out of it (either a vicarious sexual thrill, or some lessons about ethical nonmonogamy, or even just a smile).

I agree that the hot wife lifestyle works best when both the husband and wife are on the same page. It has to be something pursued together with open communication and trust. Otherwise it is just asking for trouble. And I appreciate your apology (even though it wasn't necessary) regarding G. I wasn't upset by you or anything, I just wanted to make sure that the impact on him wasn't overlooked.

Your question is a good one. I think every couple has to figure out what approach to the lifestyle works for them. In our case, I preferred fewer partners with more of a connection to those I had. The couple that we meshed with the best (Charlie and Tess) didn't end up lasting all that long. "Sir" was in the picture for most of the five years, but was inconsistently available. (We even asked him in January if he'd be up for an in person date in February. He said "definitely" but has ghosted us since). So things did end up focused just on G lately. That may have been a factor.

Thank you for your Star Trek themed well wishes They made me smile

[Lookingforadventure]

First off I give you great credit for your grateful comments towards LFA and Adventurer. You got to have an experience that very, very few get to have. Your pain in the loss is palpable. In spite of knowing that this day was an inevitability, it would be difficult for you to prepare for. You clearly were giving LFA the experience she wanted. It's my opinion that LFA ultimately was not giving Adventurer the experience he wanted (whatever that may be). As far as I can tell from posts you were never disrespectful intentionally or unintentionally. You had no way of knowing how LFA and Adventurer were processing your part in this.

Since this isn't the first time they put the brakes on, if LFA reaches out to you again and says they're "back in the game", will you jump at the chance or will you be a little reluctant. I gather from the tone of your post that you are feeling some pain from this course of events. Will those emotions you feel give you any reluctance?

Once again, I have great respect for you and your gratitude towards LFA and Adventurer. Maybe you were ultimately TOO much of a perfect fit.

You are right. I think I shoulder the blame here. In pursuit of my own sexual exploration I ended up hurting two wonderful men. I feel the weight of that.

[Lookingforadventure]

First thank you for you well wishes….reality is I am trying to process this loss as I just returned from my annual boys trip, it’s hitting home hard now as my reality has been turned around and I simply can’t go backwards.

Very early on in our relationship, I had said to lfa that this would end one day and we would never know when, how or why, who knew it turned out to be now.

This all been said, I absolutely have zero ill will for both Lfa and adventurer, I always felt welcomed and yes loved. I am very grateful that we have shared many amazing memories that will forever be with me.

These two are the poster child of what an amazing partnership is and will be forever humbled that they touched my life…..yes I am old and laughed about a old show called “ touched by a angel “, while cheesy it rings so true.

So for now, I will be focusing on my new reality and life going forward with a very special place being reserved for these two amazing people.

G

What a lovely post from a lovely human being! Thank you.

And know that I/we are sorry for putting you through this.

[coastalkid]

First off I give you great credit for your grateful comments towards LFA and Adventurer. You got to have an experience that very, very few get to have. Your pain in the loss is palpable. In spite of knowing that this day was an inevitability, it would be difficult for you to prepare for. You clearly were giving LFA the experience she wanted. It's my opinion that LFA ultimately was not giving Adventurer the experience he wanted (whatever that may be). As far as I can tell from posts you were never disrespectful intentionally or unintentionally. You had no way of knowing how LFA and Adventurer were processing your part in this.

Since this isn't the first time they put the brakes on, if LFA reaches out to you again and says they're "back in the game", will you jump at the chance or will you be a little reluctant. I gather from the tone of your post that you are feeling some pain from this course of events. Will those emotions you feel give you any reluctance?

Once again, I have great respect for you and your gratitude towards LFA and Adventurer. Maybe you were ultimately TOO much of a perfect fit.

You are right. I think I shoulder the blame here. In pursuit of my own sexual exploration I ended up hurting two wonderful men. I feel the weight of that.

Please don't take this as a condemnation of you. I admire your effort and your sensitivity. It is only my observation. You and many other wives here have shown me how difficult a task it is to satisfy multiple people. I also believe that you never had intentionally set out to disrespect Adventurer or G. Give yourself credit for not ignoring or denying the signs you saw that lead to your decision. Figure out how to forgive yourself and use this experience to build an even better life for you and Adventurer! I have a great deal of respect for ALL of you!

[Saras_Stag]

I took a while to respond to the news (at least here), as it took a lot to process! As Sara and I set out on this adventure we had the incredible fortune to be befriended by LFA and Adventurer. Your warmth and welcoming counsel to us during our first few months has been a source of comfort and we were so happy to make new friends within the lifestyle. Even though you're retiring from it, I hope we can remain friends as you're both great people. And G, thanks to you too - it helps when there's a great model to emulate in terms of what Sara is looking for.

It truly highlights how fraught with emotion and feeling this can be - on every side really. Stuff I would have expected would be incredibly difficult before starting are surprisingly easy; stuff I wouldn't have thought much about can be incredibly hard to process. The fact you were both able to enjoy five years is impressive, and I hope you look back on your adventure with warm smiles and hearts because you deserve that.

I'm glad that you'll be sticking around, even as you pull back from ENM. I'm glad we had the chance to get to know each other.

[Her number1]

First thank you for you well wishes….reality is I am trying to process this loss as I just returned from my annual boys trip, it’s hitting home hard now as my reality has been turned around and I simply can’t go backwards.

Very early on in our relationship, I had said to lfa that this would end one day and we would never know when, how or why, who knew it turned out to be now.

This all been said, I absolutely have zero ill will for both Lfa and adventurer, I always felt welcomed and yes loved. I am very grateful that we have shared many amazing memories that will forever be with me.

These two are the poster child of what an amazing partnership is and will be forever humbled that they touched my life…..yes I am old and laughed about a old show called “ touched by a angel “, while cheesy it rings so true.

So for now, I will be focusing on my new reality and life going forward with a very special place being reserved for these two amazing people.

G

You have my heartfelt condolences in your loss, and it is indeed a loss in the fullest sense.
For what it's worth, you have my respect. You earned it by your character and how you treated my friend.

[Lookingforadventure]

I took a while to respond to the news (at least here), as it took a lot to process! As Sara and I set out on this adventure we had the incredible fortune to be befriended by LFA and Adventurer. Your warmth and welcoming counsel to us during our first few months has been a source of comfort and we were so happy to make new friends within the lifestyle. Even though you're retiring from it, I hope we can remain friends as you're both great people. And G, thanks to you too - it helps when there's a great model to emulate in terms of what Sara is looking for.

It truly highlights how fraught with emotion and feeling this can be - on every side really. Stuff I would have expected would be incredibly difficult before starting are surprisingly easy; stuff I wouldn't have thought much about can be incredibly hard to process. The fact you were both able to enjoy five years is impressive, and I hope you look back on your adventure with warm smiles and hearts because you deserve that.

I'm glad that you'll be sticking around, even as you pull back from ENM. I'm glad we had the chance to get to know each other.

Thank you friend. It has been a pleasure getting to know the two of you as well, and I with you all the best as you continue this adventure. It seems like you are off to a wonderful start already.

[Saras_Stag]

Thank you friend. It has been a pleasure getting to know the two of you as well, and I with you all the best as you continue this adventure. It seems like you are off to a wonderful start already.

Thank you so much

[Seekingmore12]

First thank you for you well wishes….reality is I am trying to process this loss as I just returned from my annual boys trip, it’s hitting home hard now as my reality has been turned around and I simply can’t go backwards.

Very early on in our relationship, I had said to lfa that this would end one day and we would never know when, how or why, who knew it turned out to be now.

This all been said, I absolutely have zero ill will for both Lfa and adventurer, I always felt welcomed and yes loved. I am very grateful that we have shared many amazing memories that will forever be with me.

These two are the poster child of what an amazing partnership is and will be forever humbled that they touched my life…..yes I am old and laughed about a old show called “ touched by a angel “, while cheesy it rings so true.

So for now, I will be focusing on my new reality and life going forward with a very special place being reserved for these two amazing people.

G

You have my heartfelt condolences in your loss, and it is indeed a loss in the fullest sense.
For what it's worth, you have my respect. You earned it by your character and how you treated my friend.

Thank you so much, it means allot !

[Lookingforadventure]

You have my heartfelt condolences in your loss, and it is indeed a loss in the fullest sense.
For what it's worth, you have my respect. You earned it by your character and how you treated my friend.

Thank you so much, it means allot !

Happy Easter weekend to both of you.

[Lookingforadventure]

I've been coming on the site periodically and thinking about posting, and then I wonder if it is even appropriate since I no longer qualify as a hot wife (although, perhaps I could justify it by saying that I am a wife who some feel is hot. LOL). Maybe I'll eventually move this thread to another section, but for not please just skip over it if the content isn't to your liking.

At some point I do hope to post some things I learned from my five years as a hot wife as well as the best and worst moments. For now, though, that reflection still feels a bit raw, so instead I'm going to post a bit about married sex and what Adventurer and I have been up to.

I think I mentioned earlier that we've scaled back on anything lifestyle related. Being "vanilla", though, is a tough sell for both of us. I think we are definitely "sprinkles" kinds of people. For example, Adventurer has presented me with the idea of a time of anal only. He originally asked for a week, but I wasn't sold on the idea. This morning I suggested that maybe it would be a good way to celebrate the Easter weekend.

The rules of the game are: no external clitoral stimulation or pussy play, but lots of butt stuff. I'm welcome to use toys on my butt anytime I like. He also promises much butt worship and fucking. I will probably wear a plug to the extended family Easter meal, which will undoubtedly turn me on because I enjoy having a naughty secret. With all this said, I'm not sure I'll last all long weekend. My pussy does rather enjoy attention.

[Late]

I'm only a wannabe, but one thing I have learned from this site is that once it's done, you can't undo it. You can stop the activity, as you have, but I do not believe you can undo being a hotwife. You are currently not a practicing hotwife, but trust me you are still a hotwife. I suspect Adventurer will back me up on this.
Your weekend sounds intriguing, to say the least.

Love you guys.
Late

[coastalkid]

Once again LFA, I give you the utmost respect and admiration. Most people cut and run, just fade away. YOU have a very unique perspective, one that is far underrepresented on this site by my observation. You and Adventurer have had a taste of this lifestyle and leaving the benefits, the "good times when everyone was happy" behind will be the tough part. The deficits, the "bad times when it wasn't working" are grossly de-emphasized generally and are hard to be aware of, prepare for, and do something about.

I get the feeling that you are a loyal, kind, sensitive, generous person. You don't misplace blame. You don't disparage anyone. The story you have to share is important no matter what you do. I've always wanted to read about wives that knew they needed to get things right and how they do it.

Thanks for you update and even if you post less frequently ANY post you make will interest me. Thanks!

[shadowtantra]

Echoing Coastal LFA, sharing your reflection on life now and what was will be deeply appreciated by many here. We hope to see see you when time allows!

[venus-can99]

Wishing you a wonderful Easter with family and friends LFA!

[Her number1]

Happy Easter weekend to both of you.

Happy Easter weekend to you and Adventurer as well .

Sadly , you'll always be a hotwife. Just as I'll always be a Marine. Once you earn it, you never lose it. We may not be active duty, but we both earned our stripes.
Glory in who you are, just as we see your glory .

[Lookingforadventure]

Happy Easter weekend to you and Adventurer as well .

Sadly , you'll always be a hotwife. Just as I'll always be a Marine. Once you earn it, you never lose it. We may not be active duty, but we both earned our stripes.
Glory in who you are, just as we see your glory .

A farmer AND a marine!!??!! Maybe I knew that about you, but I had forgotten. No wonder I have a crush on you. Have you ever worked construction or done road work? If so you may hit all my "hot guy" fantasy types

In seriousness, though, thank you. I'm happy to have earned my stripes, and am glad you see glory in it too.

[Her number1]

A farmer AND a marine!!??!! Maybe I knew that about you, but I had forgotten. No wonder I have a crush on you. Have you ever worked construction or done road work? If so you may hit all my "hot guy" fantasy types

In seriousness, though, thank you. I'm happy to have earned my stripes, and am glad you see glory in it too.

Oh, yes! When I left active duty as a Marine, I worked construction, worked as a surveyor, and was a supervisor for highway construction/maintenence.
Glad I can hit most of your fantasy types
While in high school, I even worked road construction in the summer for a couple of years and as a logger for a couple, before Uncle Sam paid for my senior trip.

[GenerallySpeaking]

A farmer AND a marine!!??!! Maybe I knew that about you, but I had forgotten. No wonder I have a crush on you. Have you ever worked construction or done road work? If so you may hit all my "hot guy" fantasy types

In seriousness, though, thank you. I'm happy to have earned my stripes, and am glad you see glory in it too.

Oh, yes! When I left active duty as a Marine, I worked construction, worked as a surveyor, and was a supervisor for highway construction/maintenence.
Glad I can hit most of your fantasy types
While in high school, I even worked road construction in the summer for a couple of years and as a logger for a couple, before Uncle Sam paid for my senior trip.

This! Now I can see what kind of man you are. My highest respect for you!

[Her number1]

This! Now I can see what kind of man you are. My highest respect for you!

Thank you, that's very kind.