The emotional/romantic component

[silkyhw]

My wife has had casual boyfriends and also long-term relationships. Both are great but, as time has gone by, we have realised that the latter - with some degree of emotional involvement - is much more more satisfying. When we first started playing I think we were both anxious that her developing feelings for her lover might jeopardise our relationship. - and, of course, this still might happen - but we both think it unlikely. She enjoys sex most when she feels a developing closeness and I have come to realise that this turns me on. Sure, it's a risk - but well worth it.

My wife recently had a long-term relationship with a guy she had dated many years ago. She was worried that she might develop feelings for him but I encouraged her to go ahead. Everything was fine for nearly a year - until he became jealous and demanding. My wife ended it and said she wasn't going to 'get involved' again but a year on, she has started talking about how good he made her feel and how exciting it was to be loved by two men - one of whom got off on her having a lover.

[Oilem]

So where are you at now? Are things good or not?

[DrDemento_68]

My wife and her long term lover have developed a deep emotional as well as sexual connection after being together a long time. Often their sex is wild, kinky and hot, but often it is tender and loving too. Watching the latter is just as arousing to me as the former. They never say "I love you" to each other but "I love being with you" and "I love the way you fuck me" come up often.

When I think in terms of labels, I think we are somewhere between hotwifing and polyamory. They are way more than just fuck buddies, but the marriage still is the primary relationship.

It is very arousing to me to see my wife give herself emotionally as well as sexually to him. It helps immensely that he and I have a strong mutually respectful relationship that makes me remain secure about my marriage despite my wife's deep involvement with him.

[snoogaloo82]

My wife has had casual boyfriends and also long-term relationships. Both are great but, as time has gone by, we have realised that the latter - with some degree of emotional involvement - is much more more satisfying. When we first started playing I think we were both anxious that her developing feelings for her lover might jeopardise our relationship. - and, of course, this still might happen - but we both think it unlikely. She enjoys sex most when she feels a developing closeness and I have come to realise that this turns me on. Sure, it's a risk - but well worth it.

My wife recently had a long-term relationship with a guy she had dated many years ago. She was worried that she might develop feelings for him but I encouraged her to go ahead. Everything was fine for nearly a year - until he became jealous and demanding. My wife ended it and said she wasn't going to 'get involved' again but a year on, she has started talking about how good he made her feel and how exciting it was to be loved by two men - one of whom got off on her having a lover.

For me it's not my sweetie developing feelings for the guy, because I actually expect that, and enjoy that, and I know she'll stay with me, but rather the other guy getting so involved with her that they become jealous and upset that he can't have her all to himself. I'm glad that you two have found another person to fill that other persons place. It sounds like you two have a wonderful relationship!!

[KBZ69]

My wife doesn't do many blinds so to speak and will rarely go beyond kissing on a first date as she loves to bond with sexual partners both romantically and emotionally .

[dinoo]

Where can I find more topics like this? I really enjoy hearing about the dynamic of love between Hotwife and her lover while still deeply in love with her husband? It is the most delicious aspect and perhaps the most dangerous in the lifestyle. Please let me know if there are other topics like this. Thanks!

"It is the most delicious aspect.."
"...perhaps the most dangerous in the lifestyle."

I fully agree with the first part of your comment but think that the second part is debatable.
Let me start that every relationship with another guy can be dangerous. The deeper the more the level of danger will rise.

However, the bond between wife and husband, their very frequent open communication, their trust in each other, their happiness about the current situation, provides a counterbalance that should not be underestimated.
Above, when their encounters are limited in frequency or/and in possibilities, like it was the case in our situation, I don't think the intimate bond between my wife and her lover wasn't the most dangerous aspect in our lifestyle at all. Yes, there will be always a danger but that is also true in a vanilla life. The confession of my wife that she fell in love with her steady lover seemed to be liberating for her because she could talk openly with me about it and "got rid" of her deeper feelings about him.
As I wrote here before, this situation brought us closer together than ever before.
And yes, it became a "delicious aspect" for both of us.
It will be clear that I remained her number 1.

Note:
I have always believed that there is nothing more human than to fall in love with someone else.
Therefore, I have always encouraged my wife not to hide her feelings for someone else from me.

[Bartleby]

I wish my wife would not take the emotional route but she almost always does. She wants to have a relationship with the guys she has sex with and I always get the feeling they are just using her for sex. The end is often drama.

However. Her last bf broke up with her because he had enough of his girlfriend being married and he could not have a normal relationship with her. So I assume he had romantic feelings as well. Maybe the first truly polyamourous relationship my wife has had. End is drama again, of course.

I like my wife to get fucked by other men, but I hate it when I lie in bed by myself in the early morning hours and I have to think about how my wife is cuddling up to someone else right now, maybe doing really lovy dovy intimate things that I feel you should only do with an exclusive partner. That is the worst thing for me as a cuckold.

[DavaoMike]

My wife, Maricel, is deeply in love with her boyfriend, Adam. This has never diminished our marital relationship, but rather added a new level of intimacy between us.

[Farmgirl]

My wife, Maricel, is deeply in love with her boyfriend, Adam. This has never diminished our marital relationship, but rather added a new level of intimacy between us.

Exactly !

[Dutch cuckold]

In the beginning of our hotwife lifestyle my wife felt guilty about her feelings for other men and so she tried to keep them to a minimum.

Now she's really looking for guys she can develop feelings for as this makes the sex so much more intense and she loves being in love. This is a huge turn on for me, the fact she is looking for this but also when i see them being crazy about each other.

And yes, this is deepening our relationship to.

[Dutch cuckold]

In the beginning of our hotwife lifestyle my wife felt guilty about her feelings for other men and so she tried to keep them to a minimum.

Now she's really looking for guys she can develop feelings for as this makes the sex so much more intense and she loves being in love. This is a huge turn on for me, the fact she is looking for this but also when i see them being crazy about each other.

And yes, this is deepening our relationship to.

[nevertoolate]

My wife's full time lover was just that; someone she loved in many ways. He added a spice to her life and our relationship. Having more love in your life is about inclusion. It does not have to lead to exclusion if all involved have imagination. Deep passion and lust brought to her by a lover was a powerful thing to witness

[Her number1]

My wife's full time lover was just that; someone she loved in many ways. He added a spice to her life and our relationship. Having more love in your life is about inclusion. It does not have to lead to exclusion if all involved have imagination. Deep passion and lust brought to her by a lover was a powerful thing to witness

[Bogdan]

My wife certainly has an emotional connection with her lover and they do talk with each other about other things then sex. She also talks with him about her emotions and I think that is a good thing. Now I realize that many husbands will consider this dangerous or not done but we are all human and sometimes it's easier to talk to another person about certain topics. Sometimes I ask her did you had a good talk with him and if she says yeah I needed that, then I'm happy that she could have a good conversation with him. And yes we do realize our marriage is holy but there is definitely room for emotions, for all of us.

[Her number1]

My wife certainly has an emotional connection with her lover and they do talk with each other about other things then sex. She also talks with him about her emotions and I think that is a good thing. Now I realize that many husbands will consider this dangerous or not done but we are all human and sometimes it's easier to talk to another person about certain topics. Sometimes I ask her did you had a good talk with him and if she says yeah I needed that, then I'm happy that she could have a good conversation with him. And yes we do realize our marriage is holy but there is definitely room for emotions, for all of us.

I agree with you.

[wildrollercoaster]

I want an emotional connection, a lover, be it a boyfriend or close FWB. Sex for me isn't just some mechanical form of exercise, it involves all of me. I want my lover to give of himself just as I give of myself. I want to give and receive love, and enjoy the awesome sex that comes with it.

How do you differentiate between your hubby and your FWB? If roles were reversed I would be less emotional with my FWB than my sweetie. How are you able to be emotional with your FWB and still not fall out of love with your hubby. I hope that's an okay question to ask. If not just let me know. You know me. I can take a critique pretty well. lol

Quite easily, the same as I differentiate between my husband and anyone else. Human nature is to love many people at the same time, and it doesn't entail taking any love from any other to do it.
it takes nothing away from my love for my husband for me to love my boyfriend, my Dad (memories), my children, my grandchildren, my friends, my pets, etc. In all of these examples, there is, of course, a hierarchy of importance with love. My husband, my Number1, is the love of my life, and therefore will ever be my number one.
Love is not finite, but limitless.

My husband is very secure in his position in my life. He can't be just replaced with someone else !

Beautifully articulated

[Parsifal]

Why, I ask, is it so hot for some hotwife husbands to experience a wife becoming emotionally entangled, even hotter for her to fall in love with another man? Why is it such a turn on to high stakes gamble with your true love? - assuming, as I do, that she is your one and only and truest love.

My theory is that some of the men into this learn to libidinize their greatest angst, to associate that angst and sexual desire. That angst thus becomes an erotic, wildly pleasurable complex of feelings. Erotic pleasure attaches to fear of abandonment for the husband. They become directly correllative. So when a hotwife falls in love, the husband's risk of sposal abandonment increases, as does his anxiety in realization of the danger, as does his arousal. Other addictions to danger are similar. Risk is thrilling, and the psychology of sexually cathecting risks would be a fun study.

[Long Lurker 34]

Why, I ask, is it so hot for some hotwife husbands to experience a wife becoming emotionally entangled, even hotter for her to fall in love with another man? Why is it such a turn on to high stakes gamble with your true love? - assuming, as I do, that she is your one and only and truest love.

My theory is that some of the men into this learn to libidinize their greatest angst. So once the fear of losing your true love's heart, the husband comes to associate that angst and sexual desire. That angst is an erotic, wildly pleasurable complex of feelings. Erotic pleasure attaches to fear of abandonment for the husband. They become directly correllative. So when a hotwife falls in love, the husband's risk of sposal abandonment increases, as does his anxiety in realization of the danger, as does his arousal. Other addictions to danger are similar. Risk is thrilling, and the psychology of sexually cathecting risks would be a fun study.

P
- Could this be a a form of 'super' compersion? (My spelling sucks)
- The husband getting a sort of inside view, depending on the exact situation, of a couple in love?

[wildrollercoaster]

Why, I ask, is it so hot for some hotwife husbands to experience a wife becoming emotionally entangled, even hotter for her to fall in love with another man? Why is it such a turn on to high stakes gamble with your true love? - assuming, as I do, that she is your one and only and truest love.

My theory is that some of the men into this learn to libidinize their greatest angst. So once the fear of losing your true love's heart, the husband comes to associate that angst and sexual desire. That angst is an erotic, wildly pleasurable complex of feelings. Erotic pleasure attaches to fear of abandonment for the husband. They become directly correllative. So when a hotwife falls in love, the husband's risk of sposal abandonment increases, as does his anxiety in realization of the danger, as does his arousal. Other addictions to danger are similar. Risk is thrilling, and the psychology of sexually cathecting risks would be a fun study.

P
- Could this be a a form of 'super' compersion? (My spelling sucks)
- The husband getting a sort of inside view, depending on the exact situation, of a couple in love?

Yes.

The reasons that a woman's intimate connection with someone else can be so powerfully stirring from the outside, to her significant other, are fundamentally the same irrespective of the depth and intensity of that connection. If the reasons seem different, it's generally just because of varying perspectives due to different comfort levels.

To make the point, a man comfortable with his wife having extramarital sex only in his presence may find the notion of a wife's ongoing independent affair as dissonant as some find any notion of extramarital sex at all.

For some, it's not even tolerable for a woman in a relationship to independently interact socially with other men. Others draw the line at flirting. Yet others are comfortable with choosing extramarital sex partners for their wives, but only if they can watch or participate. Yet others are okay with their wives following their own desires and making independent intimate decisions. The fundamental primal response and dynamics arising from witnessing one's wife intimately touching a mutually-selected date are the same as those arising from one's wife spending a private weekend of intimacy and passionate lovemaking — or being spotted somewhere touching like a couple in love — with an extramarital lover who blows her mind. Different thresholds and realms of intensity, but same underlying primal instincts and dynamics.

[dinoo]

I want an emotional connection, a lover, be it a boyfriend or close FWB. Sex for me isn't just some mechanical form of exercise, it involves all of me. I want my lover to give of himself just as I give of myself. I want to give and receive love, and enjoy the awesome sex that comes with it.

How do you differentiate between your hubby and your FWB? If roles were reversed I would be less emotional with my FWB than my sweetie. How are you able to be emotional with your FWB and still not fall out of love with your hubby. I hope that's an okay question to ask. If not just let me know. You know me. I can take a critique pretty well. lol

Quite easily, the same as I differentiate between my husband and anyone else. Human nature is to love many people at the same time, and it doesn't entail taking any love from any other to do it.
it takes nothing away from my love for my husband for me to love my boyfriend, my Dad (memories), my children, my grandchildren, my friends, my pets, etc. In all of these examples, there is, of course, a hierarchy of importance with love. My husband, my Number1, is the love of my life, and therefore will ever be my number one.
Love is not finite, but limitless.

My husband is very secure in his position in my life. He can't be just replaced with someone else !

My wife thoughts about the last sentence.
But she really loved to have some chemistry with a man.
And I loved she didn't hide that.
Like french kissing.
Even better when I heard her say to him "thanks, you are an expert" or responding to him "I'm also happy to have met you" or "I hope also to meet you again". And more of the same.
That was just what I wanted to hear and experience: her happiness.