Trying something different

[straightshot22]

I have been letting my wife know for sometime now that I would love for her to be with another guy preferably bigger. Since I'm the only person she's ever been with she has her times where she seems open to it but it goes away for a while I was thinking about letting her know that I'm ok with her finding a date for the week that I'm away in the fall and that she's open to do what she wants just wondering how I should bring it up

[bbarnsworth]

I have been letting my wife know for sometime now that I would love for her to be with another guy preferably bigger. Since I'm the only person she's ever been with she has her times where she seems open to it but it goes away for a while I was thinking about letting her know that I'm ok with her finding a date for the week that I'm away in the fall and that she's open to do what she wants just wondering how I should bring it up

"Honey, I'm ok with you finding a date for the week that I'm away in the fall and I'm open to you doing what you want".

Honestly, it can really be that simple.

Understand; this has to be her fantasy. If she's doing it because it's your fantasy, it won't work well (if at all). Fall is just around the corner; 5 months. If you want this to happen this Fall, you'd better get talking now. You've already done the hardest part; let her know that you would love for her to have sex with another man. So, build on it. Don't push, but talk. LISTEN to what she says, give support, give feedback, and let her build the fantasy.

[Pufferfish]

I have been letting my wife know for sometime now that I would love for her to be with another guy preferably bigger. Since I'm the only person she's ever been with she has her times where she seems open to it but it goes away for a while I was thinking about letting her know that I'm ok with her finding a date for the week that I'm away in the fall and that she's open to do what she wants just wondering how I should bring it up

Although not all women are the same, women tend to think relatively similarly. "The trick" to this lifestyle isn't just telling her the truth, although that is a big part of it, the trick is avoiding the landmines while telling them where it's safe to walk.

The idea is there, she's probably on-board and would love to believe that it would truly be ok for her to have sex with someone else. But A) She's going to struggle with believing it actually is ok. And B) She's going to have a fear of "What if he changes his mind" "Trying to get me to do it so he can cheat on me", etc.

It can't be just a few comments, or suggestions that she could do something. There has to be a big conversation where she knows what you desire, has had her fears acknowledged/extinguished, and both of you have total and complete trust in each other. Then, she'll be open to the suggestion. Anything short of that is "just bedroom talk" and she won't act on it, or at least won't tell you about it if she does.