Recently started getting fantasies. How to cope with it?

[setv4]

She's asked me not to mention it to him yet, that we need to revisit the subject first. We've discussed in the past couple of weeks that it might be hot to either:
1. tie her up and me torture confessions out of her and punish her for them
2. tie me up and me be forced to eat her pussy while she confesses to things while edging me
The 2nd one is similar to the 69 we usually do. She prefers the first option, I prefer the 2nd but I haven't been too vocal about it. So far we've agreed it's a bit extreme but I think revisiting this subject might warrant it.
[/quote]

Go with Her choice, #1 first. Then go with your choice, #2.
Have Fun!

[monraccoon]

…Most of me hopes that fucking that guy she used to fuck will get it out of her system for a little while.

more likely, it will light a fire in her and, if you’re brave and confide in her your deepest desires, in you as well.
everything is limited by your fear. fear is remedied by openly communicating. if this is someone you want to spend your life with, the sooner you develop the muscles of trust that come from open communication, the better. no long term relationship survives, healthily, without radically open communication.

[Xmatty1]

Of course she is telling you the truth. But I don’t think she has told you the whole truth. She didn’t suck his cock but she did continue to jerk him off until he came. And she hasn’t told you about the other times. That’s what I think anyway. I’m not sure why women say something happened once and it was an accident, but in reality it happened often. I think you will have fun getting this information from her.

[sucker00]

Anon,
What's your thoughts about your friend, now that you know that some of the things he's said to you occurred after your GF felt him up and knows how well endowed he is? I have to imagine, you've thought about how the dynamic might be different the next time he comes over, right?

[setv4]

Of course she is telling you the truth. But I don’t think she has told you the whole truth. She didn’t suck his cock but she did continue to jerk him off until he came. And she hasn’t told you about the other times. That’s what I think anyway. I’m not sure why women say something happened once and it was an accident, but in reality it happened often. I think you will have fun getting this information from her.

It is quite possible that she did suck him off, (and swallowed when he came) and just doesn't want to freak you out too quickly.
Or that she continued to jerk him off, letting him cum on her Face, her Tits or, more likely, into her open mouth, so that when you got back, she had already swallowed the 'evidence'.
You will likely find out whatever actually happened, sometime in the near future. Either from Her or from Him, or from them both.
I hope that you all get what you want, and have Fun doing it together.

[elina]

..............
I think I've already accepted that I want to keep her as my partner for life, regardless of where these confessions might end. Tbh that scares me. What's even more scary is that these are just the things she's done while trying to be a good monogamous girlfriend. Now we're considering her having a little freedom to get her "fix", where will that end? I try not to think about it. Most of me hopes that fucking that guy she used to fuck will get it out of her system for a little while.

Dear Anondesires,

There is a syaing that in the end, you are much more likely to regret the possibilities you failed to take, than the possibilities you pursued.

Yes I agree, most likely you will experience your Wonderful Girlfriend having a very active sex-life,
but I think it is already clear that you are turned on by this.

With this Lady, I think She is likely to take care of your feelings and make sure you feel involved and loved, and in particular confident that She will not leave you.
That is really the best situation a cuck can end up in.

But She can only take care of your emotions if you are honest and open with Her.

Sincerely
elina

[anondesires]

Anon,
What's your thoughts about your friend, now that you know that some of the things he's said to you occurred after your GF felt him up and knows how well endowed he is? I have to imagine, you've thought about how the dynamic might be different the next time he comes over, right?

My thoughts about him are... complicated, mixed and confusing. Obviously I need to reserve judgement until I've heard his version of events but I'm annoyed with him if he took advantage of my gf or blackmailed her. Personally I don't think he would've blackmailed her like she said, I think she might've latched onto an idle threat as an excuse to give into her urges. I know she gets sexually excited by being told what to do in a sexually dominant way. I'm annoyed that they kept it a secret from me but again, I don't know what his view on it is/was.

I don't blame her for starting it, it must've been exciting for her in her drunk, horny and frustrated state, realising a big cock was getting hard in her hand. I can't really blame him for the initial part but also if an attractive girl starts stroking your cock, it must be difficult to resist the urge to continue.

I do wonder what he was thinking, whether he respects me, where he would draw the line in consideration to me. Would he have accepted a blow job? Would he fuck her? If he did, would he tell me? I don't even know how I'd react if he told me, I wouldn't want to break up with her but I guess things would have to change between me and him. I don't really want to consider that situation.

Knowing that my girlfriend has handled and pleasured his big cock is very conflicting for me right now. Every time I see her hands, I'm reminded that at least one of them has been wrapped around his dick with the intention of pleasing it. I hate that it's such an intoxicating thought and turns me on so much, I feel like in the past I would've felt betrayed and disgusted but those feelings are drowned out by arousal. It's difficult to think about it without it spiralling into a masturbation session. I also hate that I wish I could've witnessed it, most of my thoughts and reactions to this have shocked me.

The next time he comes over will be difficult, I don't know whether that will be before or after I find out his version of events. I probably need to prepare myself for the probable responses from him so I don't accidently give away my true thoughts about it.

[anondesires]

Of course she is telling you the truth. But I don’t think she has told you the whole truth. She didn’t suck his cock but she did continue to jerk him off until he came. And she hasn’t told you about the other times. That’s what I think anyway. I’m not sure why women say something happened once and it was an accident, but in reality it happened often. I think you will have fun getting this information from her.

It is quite possible that she did suck him off, (and swallowed when he came) and just doesn't want to freak you out too quickly.
Or that she continued to jerk him off, letting him cum on her Face, her Tits or, more likely, into her open mouth, so that when you got back, she had already swallowed the 'evidence'.
You will likely find out whatever actually happened, sometime in the near future. Either from Her or from Him, or from them both.
I hope that you all get what you want, and have Fun doing it together.

Thanks, but I don't need any help conjuring up thoughts about these potential outcomes right now
The thought that I might've tasted his dick or cum is really messing with me.

[wannabecUKold]

I think I've already accepted that I want to keep her as my partner for life, regardless of where these confessions might end. Tbh that scares me. What's even more scary is that these are just the things she's done while trying to be a good monogamous girlfriend. Now we're considering her having a little freedom to get her "fix", where will that end? I try not to think about it. Most of me hopes that fucking that guy she used to fuck will get it out of her system for a little while.

I don’t think you need to worry. She knows that you love her and I think that, judging by the way she is confessing to you, she loves you too and wants to be honest with you. Once she realizes that you are happy for her not to be monogamous all the time and you will still love her she will love you even more and will enjoy being monogamous with you - apart from those sessions when her lust takes control, with your blessing. It also sounds very positive.

Your latest post:
Clearly it is going to be awkward to meet with him. After all, normally, knowing what he has done, you would get some chums and go round and beat him up. Maybe you should do that first and then agree with him that he can fuck her. Your permission. That would keep him respectful of you.

[wittol]

I don’t think you asked for advice, but . . .you might consider telling your girlfriend you’re going to talk to your friend — before you actually do — and that you intend to get his side of the events, and based on her story, that you intend to let him know how unhappy you are that he abused her with "blackmail." You might actually prompt more facts and detail from your girlfriend that way. Any event, IMHO, better to let her know you'll be talking to your friend about his actions, so she doesn't feel like you don't trust her.

[monraccoon]

something happened between them. you’ve known this since before your first post. your braggart friend all but spelled it out. your girl probably hasn’t told you the whole story because she’s afraid to lose you, afraid to admit to being the slut she secretly wants to be. you hold the key to freeing both her and yourself. use your friend. he’s an asshole who doesn’t respect you. fuck him. use him. encourage your girl to fuck him, to use him, to become the slut she wants to be. set her free to be herself.

[anondesires]

It's been a bit of a rollercoaster 24 hours, both of us struggling at different times and comforting each other. I think we're doing well considering. I decided to channel my feelings of betrayal into a (friendly) payback of sorts. I thought if she wants option #1, I'll give her option #1, I've been considering all the things I can make her answer and really got into the idea. I've rigged up some ropes and cuffs to the bed, the bedside table has every torture device we own laid out on it, which isn't much tbh, a paddle, a Hitachi wand, some nipple clamps and a ball gag. The ball gag won't be much use but it looks intimidating . Oh and I grabbed a wax candle but we've never done anything like that before, again, intimidation. I asked her to try the ropes/cuffs out for size so that it's good to go when the topic arises and she started to get scared and slightly horny.

Maybe it was wrong of me to take advantage, she only agreed to test the size but she was at my mercy now, it was too tempting to try it out, I told her we needed to make sure she couldn't struggle free. I started to vibrate around her sensitive areas, she got a bit excited at first and then realised that I might ask her a question and then started to plead and struggle, started complaining about the lack of safe word etc.

Anyway, a lot of teasing and fooling around later, I made her agree to a mild question or 2, not that she had much choice in it. I raised the last question she didn't answer last night. I felt that was fair because it wasn't new, she'd had time to think about it. "Have you fantasized about the situation since?". Again, she pleaded, tried to fight out of the cuffs, I edged her, tightened her nipple clamps, paddled her increasingly hard, she gave in and let out a scream and a "Yes!", I asked "while masturbating?", she replied "Yes!" without encouragement. I asked if she fantasizes that she sucked his cock instead. She pleaded some more, I was paddling her pretty hard by this point and she was taking it in defiance. She argued that she'd already answered 2 questions and pointed out that she never agreed to this, not tonight anyway. I offered my cock to her mouth and asked her to show me instead. She looked at me and shook her head. I told her it was ok, I was going to punish her either way. She said "I'm sorry" then took my cock in her mouth and started to suck but refused to look at me anymore. I can't explain how it felt, so many feelings but my dick was like steel. We didn't go for long, I pulled out and she asked me to punish her. I gave her a belt of paddle, she yelped and shouted "I meant with your dick! I want you to own me!". I took off her ankle cuffs and fucked her as aggressively as I could with the wand on her clit so she'd cum. We ended in a loving embrace of sorts. She was a bit annoyed but said she mostly enjoyed it.

She has however changed her mind now about option #1 which I found a little exciting at first but she's been laying it on thick about how she's going to get me back for 2 nights of trickery. So now I'm scared

[airhorn]

She has however changed her mind now about option #1 which I found a little exciting at first but she's been laying it on thick about how she's going to get me back for 2 nights of trickery. So now I'm scared

I had a girlfriend I played games like this with.

We had safewords, of course, but we also had a general 'goose-gander rule'.

Basically, either of us could do whatever we wanted to the other, within the limits of safewording out, but the other person was automatically allowed to do the same. Anything you did was basically volunteering to have it done back.

It was a very educational time for both of us, really.

[monraccoon]

she has shown a little bit of honesty with you, admitting that she has fantasized and masturbated to sex with your friend. can you reciprocate? be honest with her and admit that it would turn you on if she did in fact go through with it?

[anondesires]

She has however changed her mind now about option #1 which I found a little exciting at first but she's been laying it on thick about how she's going to get me back for 2 nights of trickery. So now I'm scared

I had a girlfriend I played games like this with.

We had safewords, of course, but we also had a general 'goose-gander rule'.

Basically, either of us could do whatever we wanted to the other, within the limits of safewording out, but the other person was automatically allowed to do the same. Anything you did was basically volunteering to have it done back.

It was a very educational time for both of us, really.

We always say we should do it more often but normally months go by and we either forget or are too lazy. I never imagined we would be doing it in this context. The last couple of weeks have been full of struggles coming to terms with things but we've had hot experiences nearly every day.

The goose-gander rule sounds like karma. I hadn't considered when I was dishing out the pain that we might switch roles. Karma's a bitch sometimes

I'd love to hear more about your games, have you written about it anywhere?

[mrs_hotwifecplsa]

I like your story! Seems like there is a lot not being said between you both. She doesnt want to hurt you, so assure her that you can't be hurt by what turns you on. Tell her how much it excites you to see her be pleasured in a way you know you can't do, and you'll be there with open arms when it's over. Woman can struggle with the male need for visual details, so focus on her emotions and how it makes her feel. Tell her about how this is actually relationship building, not cheating or leading to a break up. Show her how you want to be the ONE person she can tell ANYTHING to, and you still love her unconditionally. I would also just come out and tell her that the idea of your friend fucking her makes you HOT and you really want her to do it, however the logistics turns out, alone, watching, seeing her after, whatever. I hope to hear more

[setv4]

"I offered my cock to her mouth and asked her to show me instead. She looked at me and shook her head. I told her it was ok, I was going to punish her either way. She said "I'm sorry" then took my cock in her mouth and started to suck but refused to look at me anymore."

Sounds like she just confessed to actually sucking his dick that night...
...interesting.

[elina]

Dear Anondesires.

I strongly agree with Lady Hotwifecplsa post below.

The fact that this is coming from a very experienced hotwife who has lived a very happy life with cuck husband who keeps adoring Her and loving Her for many years makes this especially worth listening to. There are to few Ladies participating at this site, when someone is lucky enough to get advice from a Hotwife, this advice is generally going to more accurately reflect what is the best approach towards your beloved emerging Hotwife.

Just my suggestion.
elina

I like your story! Seems like there is a lot not being said between you both. She doesnt want to hurt you, so assure her that you can't be hurt by what turns you on. Tell her how much it excites you to see her be pleasured in a way you know you can't do, and you'll be there with open arms when it's over. Woman can struggle with the male need for visual details, so focus on her emotions and how it makes her feel. Tell her about how this is actually relationship building, not cheating or leading to a break up. Show her how you want to be the ONE person she can tell ANYTHING to, and you still love her unconditionally. I would also just come out and tell her that the idea of your friend fucking her makes you HOT and you really want her to do it, however the logistics turns out, alone, watching, seeing her after, whatever. I hope to hear more

[anondesires]

I like your story! Seems like there is a lot not being said between you both. She doesnt want to hurt you, so assure her that you can't be hurt by what turns you on. Tell her how much it excites you to see her be pleasured in a way you know you can't do, and you'll be there with open arms when it's over. Woman can struggle with the male need for visual details, so focus on her emotions and how it makes her feel. Tell her about how this is actually relationship building, not cheating or leading to a break up. Show her how you want to be the ONE person she can tell ANYTHING to, and you still love her unconditionally. I would also just come out and tell her that the idea of your friend fucking her makes you HOT and you really want her to do it, however the logistics turns out, alone, watching, seeing her after, whatever. I hope to hear more

It feels like there's a lot being said and not said tbh, it feels like it's coming thick and fast, not much time for it to sink in before the next thing. It's consuming all of my thoughts at all times, fearing what she might tell me next but I'm also nervously excited for each next thing in a way. I know it's not fair of me to let her think she's hurting me with this but I can't even admit to myself that I want this, let alone admit it to her. Also, just because it turns me on, it doesn't mean it doesn't hurt in all different ways. I accept your advice and admit that you're right, I know it's what I probably should do, I'm just not there yet. I'm scared for a multitude of reasons, this could completely change our lives. Her not knowing it turns me on feels like the only brake we have left and I'm scared to let go of it.

[anondesires]

"I offered my cock to her mouth and asked her to show me instead. She looked at me and shook her head. I told her it was ok, I was going to punish her either way. She said "I'm sorry" then took my cock in her mouth and started to suck but refused to look at me anymore."

Sounds like she just confessed to actually sucking his dick that night...
...interesting.

What makes you think that?

[anondesires]

I was making the bed this morning and decided to adjust the ropes for my size and the different position (she was doggy last night, I assumed I would be laying on my back). She looked into the room while I was laying on the bed and adjusting and asked what I was doing. She then told me I would be in the same position that she was last night. I asked how that would even work. She just said "you'll see" with an evil grin and refused to elaborate. I don't understand, or rather, the things that come to mind don't add up.

[Long Lurker 34]

I was making the bed this morning and decided to adjust the ropes for my size and the different position (she was doggy last night, I assumed I would be laying on my back). She looked into the room while I was laying on the bed and adjusting and asked what I was doing. She then told me I would be in the same position that she was last night. I asked how that would even work. She just said "you'll see" with an evil grin and refused to elaborate. I don't understand, or rather, the things that come to mind don't add up.

AN
- I think pegging comes to mind.

[anondesires]

AN
- I think pegging comes to mind.

That was my first thought too. It doesn't add up because we've never mentioned it, we've never even done anal with her and we've barely mentioned that, it would be incredibly out of the blue. I assume she needs a strapon or harness or something? We don't have one. We don't even have a suitable dildo.
Btw, there's no way I'd do it, what would even be the point?

[wannabecUKold]

Pegging it is then….

[Xmatty1]

It seems what is holding you back from telling your girlfriend everything is that you are afraid of what she and your friend will think of you when they find out that you want to be a cuckold. But they already know. She sees how turned on you get when she talks about other guys. She knows that you wanted to watch her ex fuck her to see how he was better than you. And your friend, a guy would never grab a friends girl while she is bent over and pull her ass into his cock and slap it. 95% of guys would punch that friend. He knew you wouldn’t, they both looked to you to see your reaction. They know!

And it’s ok isn’t it? They have been fooling around and haven’t told anyone, it is a secret and can remain one. They are just waiting for you to admit that you are a cuckold to yourself, so that they can go all out. And bang each other while you watch guilt free.