I don't want to relive this in detail, the experience has floored me, I'll just try to summarise but it's a lot to remember and unpack. We spoke about the pegging, she said it was just for intimidation, like I had tried to do to her. She promised there would always be an easy option to avoid it. She made some valid points about last night, we discussed a safe word, she guilted me a bit into going through with it.
Once I was tied up, she sat in front of me, resting against the headboard of the bed, her feet occasionally stroking my dick (I'm not into feet btw). She told me how she struggled last night, choosing to take the physical pain instead of potentially giving me emotional pain. She explained that she needed to understand some things and she was very apologetic in advance and pleaded that I'd be open and honest with her to make it easier. She said she wouldn't apologise again after that (and she didn't).
She talked a lot, clearly had a lot to get off her chest, I mostly just listened. She explained in great detail that there was another situation with my friend about a month later. She said she still felt guilty about the previous time but again she was horny and frustrated with nowhere to go with it. She took the big dick dildo off the bedside table and stroked it as she explained and stroked/caressed my dick with her feet too. She stroked the dildo close to her mouth, her mouth open as if she was expecting to take a load. She asked if I thought she would've sucked him this time. I said no. She asked if I hoped she didn't. I said yes. She told me she did suck him and took the dildo deep in her mouth, eye contact the whole time, stroking my dick with her feet.
She asked if I could forgive her, I said yes. She gave me a sloppy and passionate kiss and then continued to suck. She started undressing while sucking and explaining until she was naked. She opened her legs and positioned it near her pussy. She asked if I thought she would've fucked him. I said no. She asked if I hoped she didn't. I said yes. Again, she told me she did and penetrated herself gradually and seductively, describing and moaning as she did. She asked if I could forgive her, I think I said I hoped I could. She took the dildo out of her pussy and told me and gestured to me to show her forgiveness. I was now a bit deliriously horny and found eating her wet pussy to be intoxicating. She enjoyed it for a while and then turned her attention to my dick.
She stroked it with her hands and asked if I'd noticed I always seem to get much harder when she makes her confessions. I said I hadn't noticed. She asked if I thought it was normal to be so hard and turned on when your girlfriend confesses to cheating. I said I didn't know. She asked what was turning me on so much, was it her slutty behaviour or was it other dicks? I said I didn't know. She called me a liar. She tried to make me suck the dildo but I kept refusing. She asked if big dicks turned me on like they do for her, I said no. She asked me to prove it by sucking it but I wouldn't. She said if I didn't tell her what was turning me on and wouldn't suck the dildo, she'd be forced to use the strapon, I begged her not to but I didn't really think she would actually do it. She asked me to trust her, confide in her, tell her why I always got so aroused. I couldn't.
She put it on with the smallest dildo and started to lube both the dildo and my ass. I was trying to fight it and protest. She rested the tip against my ass, I got scared and offered to suck the dildo instead. She said that option had expired, that I needed to tell her why I was turned on from her confessions. I insisted I didn't know. I wanted to tell her at this point but there was a mental block, months of training myself not to blurt it out during sex I guess. She started to push it in, it was the strangest sensation, like shitting in reverse. It felt much bigger than it looked too. I remember her saying "can you feel your dignity draining away?" as I was already thinking something similar.
As she started to thrust, she told me that a few days ago she had googled why a man might be turned on by his wife cheating on him. She asked me if I knew what a cuckold was. I said I did. She told me she'd heard the term but didn't know what it meant until then. She did some research, she watched some amateur cuckolding videos and bought a book online about it. She asked me if I thought I was cuckold. I said no. She reminded me that I would've allowed her to fuck another guy on Saturday and by definition I would've been a cuckold. She reached around to stroke my dick and told me how she fucked my best friend (erotically), I felt like I was about to cum but she was agonisingly slow. She asked me if I fantasised about her fucking other guys. I said I didn't.
She pulled out, I panicked, I couldn't see what she was doing, she called it level 2 of 3. I felt something cold, big and slippery trying to force me open again. I begged, reminded her that she said there would be an easy option, she insisted it was easy, I just had to tell her, to trust her or I'd have to trust her on a whole deeper level. She could tell I was resisting it going in, she insisted that if I didn't stop fighting it, she'd either force it in or paddle me. I ignored the threat, I was too busy panicking about how to tell her or what might happen if I do or don't. I felt a sharp slap on the ass cheek that knocked the breathe out of me. She was insisting the whole time that I tell her, asking in different ways about fantasies. She said if I didn't relax, the paddling would get harder like I did with her last night. She slapped again and I realised that the pain of the strapon was less scary than the paddling.
I relaxed as she pushed and it started to slide in. It felt like it tore me, it still hurts now. If the other one felt like my dignity was drained, this was like my soul being drained. I imagine anyone that's experienced it knows what I mean? It was new to me, not something I've ever been curious about and I couldn't explain the sensation but I felt like I had been robbed of everything, like nothing mattered anymore, this was rock bottom. I felt like my eyes were popping out of my skull. She was easing in deeper and deeper. She told me that nothing bad would happen if I told her, it wouldn't change our love, it would bring us closer, if I could trust her it would mean everything to her. I felt so at her mercy. She starting stroking my dick again, told me she'd let me cum if I told her. She started talking about fucking my friend again, asked me if I had fantasised about it, the barrier was now gone, I said yes. She asked "while masturbating?", I said yes. She told me to tell her I wanted her to fuck him, I told her and it felt strangely good to let go. She told me it was hot to hear it. She told me to tell her I wanted to be her cuckold, I told her. She upped the pace and told me about how good it felt to fuck my friend and then I had the strangest orgasm I ever had, shooting so much cum, it seemed like it wasn't going to stop.
This was supposed to be a summary

We calmed down for a long time, she apologised a lot and was very affectionate. She told me she got the idea from the online book and then told me that she made up everything about the 2nd encounter with my friend. She promised that she hasn't sucked or fucked anyone since we've been together. Part of me is disappointed but more of me is relieved. She didn't push me for anymore details but asked why I didn't just use the safe word. I completely forgot about the fucking safe word! She joked about how many guys would choose to get fucked in the ass than admit to a fantasy.
I think that was all, my life (as I knew it at least) feels over. I want to sleep and never wake up. I mean that partly in jest but I know the realisation is going to hit hard in the morning.