Had they not just stopped.ferrisandrews wrote: ↑Tue May 20, 2025 6:09 pmCongratulations on beginning your journey together!Lookingforadventure wrote: ↑Mon Jul 19, 2021 9:40 amHi everyone. My husband and I are new to "the lifestyle", but I also hesitate to use that term. We are still dabbling to figure out exactly what each of us is interested in exploring and how we want to move forward with that. I think he'd consider himself a stag, but also enjoys a cuckold fantasy. I lean more towards vixen/hotwife than anything that involves humiliation for him. With that said, I do enjoy a good role play now and then![]()
Either way, we are in this together and appreciate having a forum like this to ask our questions and chat with others who have similar interests.
Labels are tricky and are really only valuable (maybe) at the very beginning of the conversation, since all relationships are different and everyone has a different idea of what they want out of this lifestyle. Part of the fun will be defining how this lifestyle should work for you both. Ironically, it will strengthen your partnership as you both consider which men might be perfect for her.![]()
Figuring it out
- Flavius
- Trainable
- Posts: 81
- Joined: Sun Dec 16, 2018 1:21 pm
- Location: Western shores of the Baltic Sea
Re: Figuring it out
What could be more satisfying than seeing the woman you love in pleasure and satisfaction, closely followed by the afterglow when she comes back home?
Keep calm and shag on!
Keep calm and shag on!
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Cuckcuckgoose1
- Pervert
- Posts: 521
- Joined: Tue Feb 20, 2024 3:07 pm
Re: Figuring it out
Lol....me thinks maybe Ferris should read all 100 plus pages before commenting.
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markhazard
- Prepubescent
- Posts: 4
- Joined: Mon Oct 28, 2024 8:46 am
Re: Figuring it out
I just hope LFA continues to keep us updated as she and Adventurer travel thru the next part of their life togather
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Lookingforadventure
- Verified Hot Wife
- Posts: 1825
- Joined: Wed Feb 22, 2023 6:48 am
Re: Figuring it out
HI everyone. Sorry, I've been away for awhile. FerrisAndrews thanks for your nice note, and no worries about not realizing that we are now taking a break from the lifestyle. I remember when I was first here, I found the long threads with 100+ pages kind of intimidating. I later learned that they often had some of my favourite couples, but it is an investment to catch up on their whole story. I get it. And I am proud of you for jumping in with a comment (I'm assuming you are new because I don't recognize your name. Maybe you've been a long time member. If so, I apologize).
MarkHazard thanks for your note. I will try to update everyone soon. No new hot wife stories to tell, but there have been some fun husband/wife adventures that you might enjoy.
MarkHazard thanks for your note. I will try to update everyone soon. No new hot wife stories to tell, but there have been some fun husband/wife adventures that you might enjoy.
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venus-can99
- OHW Addict
- Posts: 3092
- Joined: Thu May 25, 2023 11:57 am
- Location: Not the 51st State
Re: Figuring it out
LFA - wish you best of summer to you and your wonderful family.
Something new viewtopic.php?f=13&t=75158
- coastalkid
- 2 Bit Whore
- Posts: 1201
- Joined: Sun Jul 17, 2011 4:55 pm
- Location: Central California Valley/Central Coast
Re: Figuring it out
I also hope you and Adventurer have an awesome summer!
Hope is not a strategy but it's still good to have! Especially if you don't have a strategy!
I get my denial the old fashion way, I married vanilla!
I get my denial the old fashion way, I married vanilla!
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Lookingforadventure
- Verified Hot Wife
- Posts: 1825
- Joined: Wed Feb 22, 2023 6:48 am
Re: Figuring it out
venus-can99 wrote: ↑Thu May 29, 2025 11:20 amLFA - wish you best of summer to you and your wonderful family.
Thank you both. It has been a good Spring thus far.
I apologize for not being on the site lately. We've been busy with work and family things. Plus, it is a bit weird to know how much to write and post here. But I do miss the opportunity to write about my sexual adventures, so here I am to give you all a bit TMI once again
I had to travel for work several times in April. On one trip, I had packed my bags the night before so that I'd be ready for an early morning start. When I got up, I took our dog for a walk (which is my usual first thing) before coming home to shower and have coffee. While I was walking, Adventurer snuck a few things into my bag. It was a good think that this was a road trip and not a flight or I would have had some 'splainin' to do in the security line. LOL
When I got to the hotel, Adventurer let me know that he had sent me with some sex toys in case I wanted to have a masturbation session. He specifically suggested that I fantasize about being double penetrated. When I opened the bag there was a butt plug, a vibrator, two dildos and lube. I noticed right away that one of the dildos was one that we purchased way back when I had first started talking to G. It was month before he and I met in person, but we were having fun flirting and sexting. Adventurer bought me this dildo and we nicknamed it "G" for when I was thinking about fucking him. I smiled that that was the dildo that Adventurer had chosen to pack for me now.
I had to get to work almost right away, so the masturbation session didn't happen until later, but I did wear my butt plug to my meetings so that I'd be ready. When I did get some alone time, I got naked, pulled out all the toys, and settled myself on the bed. I sent Adventurer a text letting him know what I was about to get up to. I also sent him a few videos and photos throughout. (It turns out that I kind of miss being a "porn star" and sharing scandalous images of myself).
He asked what I was thinking about, and I told him the honest truth. I was thinking back about the times we've had threesomes with G. I was picturing the two of them fondling my body and overwhelming me with the sensations of being caressed and desired. As I held the vibrator on my clit, I imagined Adventurer's tongue getting me ready for my boyfriend's cock. As I slid "G" deep inside me, I imagined it was actually him. I then removed the butt plug, lubed up the second dildo and pictured Adventurer sliding into my butt while G was inside me. I came really hard.
Adventurer loved my confession! His cock loved it too, based on the photo he sent me
No, we are not back in the lifestyle. I'm not sure if we ever will be, but we have gotten to a place where we are regularly talking about and enjoying the memories from the past 5 years. Adventurer has quite a stockpile of "LFA porn" and he enjoys sending me photos and clips from time to time to remind me of how sexy I am. I am very proud of the adventures we've had together, and I think he's proud of me too.
Re: Figuring it out
I just miss your mischievous sexy smile.
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Her number1
- 2 Bit Whore
- Posts: 1049
- Joined: Thu Feb 23, 2023 11:21 am
- Location: SW Arkansas near the Choctaw Nation
Re: Figuring it out
Lookingforadventure wrote: ↑Fri May 30, 2025 6:55 amvenus-can99 wrote: ↑Thu May 29, 2025 11:20 amLFA - wish you best of summer to you and your wonderful family.Thank you both. It has been a good Spring thus far.
I apologize for not being on the site lately. We've been busy with work and family things. Plus, it is a bit weird to know how much to write and post here. But I do miss the opportunity to write about my sexual adventures, so here I am to give you all a bit TMI once again
I had to travel for work several times in April. On one trip, I had packed my bags the night before so that I'd be ready for an early morning start. When I got up, I took our dog for a walk (which is my usual first thing) before coming home to shower and have coffee. While I was walking, Adventurer snuck a few things into my bag. It was a good think that this was a road trip and not a flight or I would have had some 'splainin' to do in the security line. LOL
When I got to the hotel, Adventurer let me know that he had sent me with some sex toys in case I wanted to have a masturbation session. He specifically suggested that I fantasize about being double penetrated. When I opened the bag there was a butt plug, a vibrator, two dildos and lube. I noticed right away that one of the dildos was one that we purchased way back when I had first started talking to G. It was month before he and I met in person, but we were having fun flirting and sexting. Adventurer bought me this dildo and we nicknamed it "G" for when I was thinking about fucking him. I smiled that that was the dildo that Adventurer had chosen to pack for me now.
I had to get to work almost right away, so the masturbation session didn't happen until later, but I did wear my butt plug to my meetings so that I'd be ready. When I did get some alone time, I got naked, pulled out all the toys, and settled myself on the bed. I sent Adventurer a text letting him know what I was about to get up to. I also sent him a few videos and photos throughout. (It turns out that I kind of miss being a "porn star" and sharing scandalous images of myself).
He asked what I was thinking about, and I told him the honest truth. I was thinking back about the times we've had threesomes with G. I was picturing the two of them fondling my body and overwhelming me with the sensations of being caressed and desired. As I held the vibrator on my clit, I imagined Adventurer's tongue getting me ready for my boyfriend's cock. As I slid "G" deep inside me, I imagined it was actually him. I then removed the butt plug, lubed up the second dildo and pictured Adventurer sliding into my butt while G was inside me. I came really hard.
Adventurer loved my confession! His cock loved it too, based on the photo he sent me
No, we are not back in the lifestyle. I'm not sure if we ever will be, but we have gotten to a place where we are regularly talking about and enjoying the memories from the past 5 years. Adventurer has quite a stockpile of "LFA porn" and he enjoys sending me photos and clips from time to time to remind me of how sexy I am. I am very proud of the adventures we've had together, and I think he's proud of me too.
Very nice to hear your thoughts again. We're proud of you too!
Our story viewtopic.php?f=5&t=43932#p750847
- coastalkid
- 2 Bit Whore
- Posts: 1201
- Joined: Sun Jul 17, 2011 4:55 pm
- Location: Central California Valley/Central Coast
Re: Figuring it out
Your heart is in the right place LFA! Keep up the good work!
Hope is not a strategy but it's still good to have! Especially if you don't have a strategy!
I get my denial the old fashion way, I married vanilla!
I get my denial the old fashion way, I married vanilla!
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Lookingforadventure
- Verified Hot Wife
- Posts: 1825
- Joined: Wed Feb 22, 2023 6:48 am
Re: Figuring it out
Thank you friend!Her number1 wrote: ↑Sat May 31, 2025 10:20 am
Very nice to hear your thoughts again. We're proud of you too!![]()
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Lookingforadventure
- Verified Hot Wife
- Posts: 1825
- Joined: Wed Feb 22, 2023 6:48 am
Re: Figuring it out
Here's another story from the past month. Adventurer and I recently celebrated our 24th anniversary. We are usually pretty good about noting the day. We don't often do gifts for each other (sometimes flowers or cards), but we always go out for dinner and often we go away for the night or a weekend. When the kids were small, the grandparents would take them on alternating years to make this possible. In later years, the kids could stay home on their own, and I'm sure they knew what "we are going away for our anniversary" meant, but they chose not to think about their parents having sex. LOL
In any case, this year the anniversary coincided with a half marathon race that Adventurer had agreed to run with his brother, sister, and niece. It was a few hours drive from our house and a bunch of additional extended family were also making the trek to join the cheering crew. At the time the plan was made, I'm not sure that anyone was thinking about our anniversary. It wasn't a problem. In fact, I think it was kind of perfect. We both come from large families and spending time with the extended family (being there for them, supporting them, showing up at events) is a big part of our married life. So of course we'd end up with them on our anniversary, LOL.
Plus, there is something very appropriate about celebrating marriage by being the leader of the cheer committee. I was there to hold the bag with the change of clothes, to cheer wildly at the race start, to hightail it across town to be able to cheer at kilometer 8 and again kilometer 13, and to be there at the finish with a kiss for my sweaty runner and to tell him how proud I was of him. It helps that I had run my own half marathon a month earlier and he had done all of that for me. We are a team - and we support each other to pursue our goals and to use our gifts whatever that looks like.
In any case, this long and rambling beginning was simply to say that we were out of town for our anniversary. The day was spent with family, but the evening included a romantic dinner out and then....my favourite...hotel sex!
Adventurer was sore and tired after his run, so I offered to do all the "work". As he lay down in the bed, I snuck off to put on "a little something" I had packed for the occasion. It was was my red, Valentine's outfit that we had bought for a date with G. A red balconette bra that doesn't cover my nipples, red crotchless panties, a garter belt, stockings. Adventured enjoyed the look when I stepped out to show him. Then I gave him a long and lingering blow job as he lay in bed. He was enjoying that so much that he forgot about being tired.
He flipped me over and went down on me. I came hard very quickly. I told him that I needed him inside me. He obliged, but only until I had another orgasm. Then he had me stand up. He led me to the window in our hotel room. He opened the curtains and told me to lean forward, with my hands on the glass, and look out. There were people on the street below (we were on the 8th floor). He reached around and fondled my breasts, then slid a hand down to my pussy. He played with my clit and finger fucked me until I was moaning hard. If anyone on the street looked up, they would have had a great show.
I was pretty desperate to get fucked again. Instead, Adventurer led me close to the hall door. He had me get down on my knees. I thought he was going to open the door and put me on display to those in the hallway. I think he thought about it
But instead, he stood in front of me and had me open my mouth. He slid a couple of fingers past my lips first, in a very loving way. Then he fed me his cock. He told me to keep my hands behind my back as I sucked him. Mostly he let me set the pace, but there were a couple of times when he put his hands on my head and pushed his cock in deeply. I ended up a bit drooly. LOL
He got very close to cumming in my mouth, but stopped himself before he did. Then he led me back to the bed. I was excited that my pussy was going to get filled with the cock she so desired. Adventurer told me to get on my hands and knees. It has been a long time since we've had sex doggy style (our regular bed at home is too high, and the "sex bed" in the guest room got sent out with our oldest when she got her apartment off campus in second year of university). I've missed doggy style
I came really, really hard as he fucked me from behind. I collapsed forward to recover. He flipped me over and then got between my legs missionary style. He smiled at me. I smiled back and said, "happy anniversary". He fucked me until he came deep inside me.
So that's what this former hot wife couple have been up to lately.
In any case, this year the anniversary coincided with a half marathon race that Adventurer had agreed to run with his brother, sister, and niece. It was a few hours drive from our house and a bunch of additional extended family were also making the trek to join the cheering crew. At the time the plan was made, I'm not sure that anyone was thinking about our anniversary. It wasn't a problem. In fact, I think it was kind of perfect. We both come from large families and spending time with the extended family (being there for them, supporting them, showing up at events) is a big part of our married life. So of course we'd end up with them on our anniversary, LOL.
Plus, there is something very appropriate about celebrating marriage by being the leader of the cheer committee. I was there to hold the bag with the change of clothes, to cheer wildly at the race start, to hightail it across town to be able to cheer at kilometer 8 and again kilometer 13, and to be there at the finish with a kiss for my sweaty runner and to tell him how proud I was of him. It helps that I had run my own half marathon a month earlier and he had done all of that for me. We are a team - and we support each other to pursue our goals and to use our gifts whatever that looks like.
In any case, this long and rambling beginning was simply to say that we were out of town for our anniversary. The day was spent with family, but the evening included a romantic dinner out and then....my favourite...hotel sex!
Adventurer was sore and tired after his run, so I offered to do all the "work". As he lay down in the bed, I snuck off to put on "a little something" I had packed for the occasion. It was was my red, Valentine's outfit that we had bought for a date with G. A red balconette bra that doesn't cover my nipples, red crotchless panties, a garter belt, stockings. Adventured enjoyed the look when I stepped out to show him. Then I gave him a long and lingering blow job as he lay in bed. He was enjoying that so much that he forgot about being tired.
He flipped me over and went down on me. I came hard very quickly. I told him that I needed him inside me. He obliged, but only until I had another orgasm. Then he had me stand up. He led me to the window in our hotel room. He opened the curtains and told me to lean forward, with my hands on the glass, and look out. There were people on the street below (we were on the 8th floor). He reached around and fondled my breasts, then slid a hand down to my pussy. He played with my clit and finger fucked me until I was moaning hard. If anyone on the street looked up, they would have had a great show.
I was pretty desperate to get fucked again. Instead, Adventurer led me close to the hall door. He had me get down on my knees. I thought he was going to open the door and put me on display to those in the hallway. I think he thought about it
He got very close to cumming in my mouth, but stopped himself before he did. Then he led me back to the bed. I was excited that my pussy was going to get filled with the cock she so desired. Adventurer told me to get on my hands and knees. It has been a long time since we've had sex doggy style (our regular bed at home is too high, and the "sex bed" in the guest room got sent out with our oldest when she got her apartment off campus in second year of university). I've missed doggy style
I came really, really hard as he fucked me from behind. I collapsed forward to recover. He flipped me over and then got between my legs missionary style. He smiled at me. I smiled back and said, "happy anniversary". He fucked me until he came deep inside me.
So that's what this former hot wife couple have been up to lately.
Re: Figuring it out
- coastalkid
- 2 Bit Whore
- Posts: 1201
- Joined: Sun Jul 17, 2011 4:55 pm
- Location: Central California Valley/Central Coast
Re: Figuring it out
Awesome update!
Hope is not a strategy but it's still good to have! Especially if you don't have a strategy!
I get my denial the old fashion way, I married vanilla!
I get my denial the old fashion way, I married vanilla!
Re: Figuring it out
Thanks for the update. If I am reading this correctly, I see that Adventurer is reopening some of the doors that you guys shut. Hopefully he decides he really does like what behind some (if not all) of them. I guess time will tell. In the mean time the two of you are enjoying life; and that is what is important.
Please continue to do so and tell us about it.
Late
Please continue to do so and tell us about it.
Late
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hoping_she_will_1day
- Pervert
- Posts: 651
- Joined: Fri Dec 24, 2021 11:13 am
- Location: Midwest, USA
Re: Figuring it out
What a fun anniversary! The whole thing...the race, extended family, supporting each other. You're a wonderful example of a couple who put each other first. Congratulations on your 24 years, and for the super sexy hotel sex. Jeesh, we've gotta do that window thing again too!
Our story: viewtopic.php?f=48&t=65850#p1284434
Some pics: viewtopic.php?f=9&t=65745
Married to Mrs Curious
Some pics: viewtopic.php?f=9&t=65745
Married to Mrs Curious
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Lookingforadventure
- Verified Hot Wife
- Posts: 1825
- Joined: Wed Feb 22, 2023 6:48 am
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Lookingforadventure
- Verified Hot Wife
- Posts: 1825
- Joined: Wed Feb 22, 2023 6:48 am
Re: Figuring it out
Thanks.
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Lookingforadventure
- Verified Hot Wife
- Posts: 1825
- Joined: Wed Feb 22, 2023 6:48 am
Re: Figuring it out
Thanks. I'm not sure that things are reopening, or if they are, that they are the ones that he shut. It is kind of complicated. LOL. I think that he never had problems with the sex. So if I wanted to go out and have anonymous sex with random strangers right now, I think he'd be ok with that. The problem is that that isn't very me. I like all the feels. I need friendship or more in order to want to have sex with someone else, and feelings are where the complications arise. So for now we are enjoying our memories and the fantasies, plus having fun together, but I'm not sure that ENM is on the table for us in the future.Late wrote: ↑Mon Jun 02, 2025 10:08 amThanks for the update. If I am reading this correctly, I see that Adventurer is reopening some of the doors that you guys shut. Hopefully he decides he really does like what behind some (if not all) of them. I guess time will tell. In the mean time the two of you are enjoying life; and that is what is important.
Please continue to do so and tell us about it.
Late
Re: Figuring it out
LFA:Lookingforadventure wrote: ↑Wed Jun 04, 2025 9:36 amThanks. I'm not sure that things are reopening, or if they are, that they are the ones that he shut. It is kind of complicated. LOL. I think that he never had problems with the sex. So if I wanted to go out and have anonymous sex with random strangers right now, I think he'd be ok with that. The problem is that that isn't very me. I like all the feels. I need friendship or more in order to want to have sex with someone else, and feelings are where the complications arise. So for now we are enjoying our memories and the fantasies, plus having fun together, but I'm not sure that ENM is on the table for us in the future.Late wrote: ↑Mon Jun 02, 2025 10:08 amThanks for the update. If I am reading this correctly, I see that Adventurer is reopening some of the doors that you guys shut. Hopefully he decides he really does like what behind some (if not all) of them. I guess time will tell. In the mean time the two of you are enjoying life; and that is what is important.
Please continue to do so and tell us about it.
Late
Understood. Thanks for the feedback. It's awesome that you guys continue experimenting rather than just shut everything down.
Late
- coastalkid
- 2 Bit Whore
- Posts: 1201
- Joined: Sun Jul 17, 2011 4:55 pm
- Location: Central California Valley/Central Coast
Re: Figuring it out
THE most important thing is you're having fun together, being together. It seems clear that your husband was not having fun with the way you are most comfortable, having a friendship with your sex partner. That creates a situation that is impossible for either of you until one of you has a change of heart or come to a better understanding.Lookingforadventure wrote: ↑Wed Jun 04, 2025 9:36 amThanks. I'm not sure that things are reopening, or if they are, that they are the ones that he shut. It is kind of complicated. LOL. I think that he never had problems with the sex. So if I wanted to go out and have anonymous sex with random strangers right now, I think he'd be ok with that. The problem is that that isn't very me. I like all the feels. I need friendship or more in order to want to have sex with someone else, and feelings are where the complications arise. So for now we are enjoying our memories and the fantasies, plus having fun together, but I'm not sure that ENM is on the table for us in the future.Late wrote: ↑Mon Jun 02, 2025 10:08 amThanks for the update. If I am reading this correctly, I see that Adventurer is reopening some of the doors that you guys shut. Hopefully he decides he really does like what behind some (if not all) of them. I guess time will tell. In the mean time the two of you are enjoying life; and that is what is important.
Please continue to do so and tell us about it.
Late
I've been following another thread with AnonymousRob and his wife Anonymous Rachel. It seems like your situation and theirs is not so dissimilar. He wants his wife to use chastity and mild humiliation and his wife isn't really into it. Meanwhile, while they used to include her husband and he would get to watch or participate in some way that has progressed to the wife meeting her lover/FWB/bf on her own. Her husband is feeling left out. He knows she's just not into the stuff he would like to do (or at least give it a solid try). She's been seeing her guy one on one for nearly two years. The husband is shutting down.
He's caught up in the fact that if he completely shuts things down that he knows there's NO possibility of him ever getting his chance of getting what he wants. At the same time he's convinced that his wife will not change her mind. He says that his wife admits that the situation is obviously one-sided and she's aware that he's unsatisfied, yet she hasn't stopped seeing her lover/FWB/bf . His posts sound hopeless. He's at the point where he doesn't see the point going on.
I just don't see how his wife can really being having fun knowing her husband is waiting at home feeling left out and unsatisfied. It seems like it would be difficult to put that out of your mind and fully enjoy yourself. It has to be constantly in the back of her mind.
It's only my opinion and nothing more than my observation but I think it takes a unique pairing of people to really make this work over time. Everybody has to get something out of the activity that thrills them and makes them crave more. I think this puts a lot of pressure and responsibility on the wife. She should be completely confident and instantly capable of saying what her husband gets out of the deal. If she can't do that then there will be conflict eventually.
You sound like you are doing exactly what you know you need to do to preserve your relationship with Adventurer. I have the utmost respect for you and you restore my faith that women can be aware and sensitive.
Hope is not a strategy but it's still good to have! Especially if you don't have a strategy!
I get my denial the old fashion way, I married vanilla!
I get my denial the old fashion way, I married vanilla!
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Seekingmore12
- Player
- Posts: 267
- Joined: Wed Feb 22, 2023 1:23 pm
- Location: GTA Ontario Canada
Re: Figuring it out
I am proud of both of you….i know sounds weird from me, but it’s so true
G
G
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Lookingforadventure
- Verified Hot Wife
- Posts: 1825
- Joined: Wed Feb 22, 2023 6:48 am
Re: Figuring it out
Hi. Nice to "see your face" (and by that, I mean your user name) in my threadSeekingmore12 wrote: ↑Thu Jun 05, 2025 4:36 amI am proud of both of you….i know sounds weird from me, but it’s so true
G
Your comment isn't weird at all. You've always been a great cheerleader for me and for our marriage, so this is totally on brand for you. LOL. And thank you. We are doing well and figuring out what is next for us. I hope you are doing well too.
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JeffBingham
- Trainable
- Posts: 91
- Joined: Thu Feb 23, 2023 8:11 am
Re: Figuring it out
By my calculation, it’s been about 2 1/2 months since you hung up your hotwife hat. Are you and Adventurer getting used to a monogamous marriage? When you wrote back on April 2 that you were two were shutting it down, you wrote about Adventurer’s struggles with the LS. Are you willing to expand a little bit on that? Was he starting to feel left out? Concerned about how close you and G had become? It could be very helpful to wannabes like me. If you prefer to keep things vague, I understand completely. No pressure!Lookingforadventure wrote: ↑Thu Jun 05, 2025 7:47 amHi. Nice to "see your face" (and by that, I mean your user name) in my threadSeekingmore12 wrote: ↑Thu Jun 05, 2025 4:36 amI am proud of both of you….i know sounds weird from me, but it’s so true
G![]()
Your comment isn't weird at all. You've always been a great cheerleader for me and for our marriage, so this is totally on brand for you. LOL. And thank you. We are doing well and figuring out what is next for us. I hope you are doing well too.
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Lookingforadventure
- Verified Hot Wife
- Posts: 1825
- Joined: Wed Feb 22, 2023 6:48 am
Re: Figuring it out
I think I've written about Adventurer's struggles a few times above, so maybe the answer is there. I'm hesitant to go into too much more detail - partly because I don't want to put words into Adventurer's mouth, and partly because I worry it will come across as if I disagree with his opinions or judge him for having his feelings. I don't.JeffBingham wrote: ↑Thu Jun 05, 2025 9:44 am
By my calculation, it’s been about 2 1/2 months since you hung up your hotwife hat. Are you and Adventurer getting used to a monogamous marriage? When you wrote back on April 2 that you were two were shutting it down, you wrote about Adventurer’s struggles with the LS. Are you willing to expand a little bit on that? Was he starting to feel left out? Concerned about how close you and G had become? It could be very helpful to wannabes like me. If you prefer to keep things vague, I understand completely. No pressure!
The short version is, as I understand it, that he didn't like how close G and I were. It wasn't jealousy necessarily. And he never felt threatened by it, or worried that i was going to leave him, he just didn't like it. I had a lot of guilt about it for awhile, but I think that I can honestly say that I didn't do anything wrong or bad. I never crossed any lines that Adventurer and I had set or talked about. I think Adventurer's feelings just changed along the way.
If you are looking for advice for wannabes or things to avoid, I'm not sure I have a lot to offer. I don't have regrets and I cherish the memories.
With that said, if I were to do things over again, I might change some things. For example, G and I always talked on a group chat that included Adventurer. This was intentional so that Adventurer wouldn't feel left out, and would get the fun of participating and/or observing our sexy chats and shares. However, this also meant that Adventurer was an observer to all our regular chatting about daily life as well. I think that got a bit much. If I had a do-over i might either have a private chat with G for non-sex conversations, or I'd chat with G a bit less.
Similarly, I sometimes used the group chat to share a sexy pic or thought with both men at the same time. I think that might have had the unintended consequence of communicating that they were sexually "on par" or something. I mean there were still private things that were only for Adventurer, but maybe the group chat undercut that a bit.
And we also found it fun for me to have sexy rendez-vous with G on holidays. We usually had a hotel date on Valentine's day, we'd meet up for a quick kiss on Christmas Eve, etc. It was endorsed and supported by everyone, but in retrospect maybe that crossed lines that shouldn't have been crossed. So I might suggest keeping holidays sacred for spouses.
Is that helpful? I really do think this was a case of feelings shifting over time rather than something that could be avoided.