Unable to convince my wife to fuck other men, couples

[Freethinker333]

Hello :
After 12 years of trying to convince my wife of fucking other men and hot couples, I have failed. She keeps thinking my fantasy stems from I not being satisfied with her in bed. Nothing can be further from the truth. I tell her it’s about I wanting her to be satisfied by someone who can perform better and longer than I. I just got yet another big “no.”
Any advice?

[txstag]

I don’t want to be Debbie Downer but the best advice I can give you is to drop it completely. Give it a good break for a couple of months- then gently see if you can add it into your dirty talk, role play kit. Not every time you fuck, but occasionally. She knows you are into it - so outside of the occasional dirty talk let her be the one to bring it up. Be prepared to accept that she might not ever do it. One thing that will surely kill it is to keep pestering after she’s said “no”

[wulfenus]

then gently see if you can add it into your dirty talk, role play kit. Not every time you fuck, but occasionally. She knows you are into it - so outside of the occasional dirty talk let her be the one to bring it up.

wise words from txstag. it will feel like pestering to her. if she enjoys it in your dirty talk, it will be fun, after all she'll be talking about another guy, one way or the other, or thinking about it, her body responding.

[leggysman]

I tell her it’s about I wanting her to be satisfied by someone who can perform better and longer than I.

Is that really what it's about though? For you? Pure compersion? Be honest now.

Not to suggest these things you've written are untrue, but:

Alternatively, are you here because you have a sharing kink, like most of us here? If that's the case, then that's largely what it's really about for you, and you should tell her that. As you've probably read over and over, this lifestyle requires strong communication between partners. I know it's a big leap of faith, but: Be really honest. Open up fully. Tell her all about the kink. Tell her it's a part of who you are, sexually. Tell her it's a very common fantasy among men. Don't play it cool and say you "don't mind" if she has sex with other men. That's not true, and not what she needs to hear. Tell her that it's a huge turn on for you. Answer her questions when she asks whether you're just trying to pawn her off, or entrap her into an accusation of adultery, or you're angling to sleep with other women.

Remember that if she identifies as a faithful, traditional wife, this will require a sea change in how she sees herself and her role. Be understanding and patient, and never pushy.

And lastly, you could do what I did. I wrote about my desires here in the Wannabes (see link in my sig). I pointed my wife to the site. She got curious and started reading. She saw that there are lots of guys like me, and lots of happy wives in strong, loving marriages who do this. She took over my account and got verified. She received support and encouragement from the other wives here. Then, she started chatting with guys, and then she took the plunge. My wife became a happy hotwife.

I donate $20 to OHW every time she fucks a new man, because this site changed our lives. So far, I've sent $200 and counting. Hopefully there will be many more donations in our future

[thecountof9]

Sorry, but She’s just not a hotwife. This lifestyle isn’t for everyone. Keep pushing and you’ll risk everything. If you truly want to make her happy focus on her, not your fantasies.

[danum]

the problem is that you began on the wrong path. and you are continuing on the wrong way. you are trying to 'convince' her.
women are built differently. if you are trying to convince her, you need to give her REASONS. if the are not convincing enough
then you would have failed.

what you need is an attitude change. admittedly it takes time but there is almost a guarantee of success simply because SHE
is making the decision.


first, the impt question is whether she is able to fantasise. this is never an easy question to answer as it involves many factors.
most impt of which is whether she IS ABLE to at the very least, fantasise with you about being a hotwife. THIS IS KEY.

if she has not, then it is a harder hill to climb.

1. there are some things that you must first learn - patience and persistence. these are your tools to help you achieve this.

2. never push her. let her do this on her own terms. not yours. you must be very very patient in getting your fantasy
to be a reality. always let her think she is in control of it. this means that if she does not want to talk or fantasise anymore, stop.
respect her wishes. start again another time. but be persistent. she will give in eventually.

this is a slow and steady process and your Mrs MUST always have the feeling that she is in control. ALWAYS! This reassures her that
should she want to stop, IT WILL BE STOPPED. only then will she trust you. trust is key.

3. AGAIN REMEMBER that the focus here is your wife. not you and what you desire her to do for you (please understand this as
they will learn the truth).

this was how i convinced my wife......

my mrs loves to suck cock. she really loves it as she can go for an hour or more just sucking on one. and you will only enjoy
having your cock sucked IF the person sucking enjoys what she is doing. i should know this as im her hubby. she loves to swallow
too. and not the porn you watch type where they spit it out! she love to taste it and swallow (i suppose this was the thing that
turned me bi too as i loved watching her do it so much that i too got hooked).

so during my convincing her to join a swing party, i bought a vibrator and when she was sucking my cock, i used the vibrator
on her. now when she sucks she is in heaven and then applying the vibe on her pussy was the ultimate for her. i used that
moment to fantasise that it was a mutual friend. an american guy that we knew (she is partial to orang putih). this method me
helped a great deal in convincing her that another cock or cocks would be great in our sex life. so i did this time and time again.
this was the persistent part. as long as she likes sex, half the battle is won. never did i suggest that we have sex with the american
guy as she was reluctant at first.

about 4th month - the reluctance soon gave way. and she began to allow me to talk to her about a third person.

about 8th month - then i began to ask her things. and she answered!!

with this i knew i was doing the right things.

10th month - while having sex SHE asked for the vibrator.

after a year of some hard work she finally agreed to join in a swing party. and the rest is history. this was the patience part.

she enjoyed herself at the party. and it was enjoyable to watch her too. so keep plugging at it. always remember that the
focus is on her. not you.

we began with swinging, then moved gradually (as my cuckold side began to emerge) to threesomes and finally cuckolding. this is something i really enjoy. i especially watching the action up close (like in fucklicking) as it is so intoxicating.

as i noted, patience, persistence, and non-pushy.

secondly, compliment her dressing, her beauty, her sexiness. but do it truthfully. women can tell if you are bull-shitting or there's something behind the compliments.

send her flowers, chocolates at her workplace. let her feel proud in front of her friends, family.
this is an entire package of things you need to do. men are different. we only want 1 thing. with women it takes many things.
and your heart.

i did all these things to convince, cajole and encourage my wife. it took me more than a year before she agreed to join me
in a swing party. happiest moment of my life.

rushing into cuckolding

sharing your wife is already a big step. getting her to cuckold you is even greater. so consider taking this one step at a time.

my advice to you is to leave out the cuckolding part of it for now. That will come later. Currently you are only focused on your
needs which is for her to cuckold you.

So leave that part out for now. instead, focus on HER PLEASURES. make sure she reaches new heights, better climaxes and
mind-blowing pleasures. Get her more involved in the sex. Introduce a dildo, if you have not already. Then show her 3some
porn - mmf, orgies, gbs where there are more men than women. This will engage her curiosity about having more than one
cock.

but always keep these in mind - persistence, patience, non-pushy.

this is all a plan.....as once she starts experiencing all these new things, your sex life will change and then you slowly
bring cuckolding into place. so your time will come my friend.

that will be the ultimate. get her the tools. and then fuck her with it, while watching a nice cuckold porn movie. find out
who she likes to fuck her. colleague, neighbour, friend etc. then introduce the vibrator as the person. in her pussy or mouth
while your cock does the free hole. your wish to be cuckolded will come (cum??) true.

examine my thoughts deeply. and logically.

dan

[Freethinker333]

Hello again:
My wife has finally said she wants to fuck white hung men, but especially if they are bi so that we both can fulfill our bi oral men-man fantasy, and of course, so that she gets to enjoy hung men. The only condition is that I don’t fuck other women.

[leggysman]

That's quite a shift from where you were, the last time you posted. Congratulations on the progress!

Tell us more about how you got from there to here.

[john1616]

Hello again:
My wife has finally said she wants to fuck white hung men, but especially if they are bi so that we both can fulfill our bi oral men-man fantasy, and of course, so that she gets to enjoy hung men. The only condition is that I don’t fuck other women.

Congratulations, you are going to have an amazing time. You’ve got to where you wanted to be so quickly.
I’m orally bi too and am looking forward to this aspect being fulfilled. However, my wife is the one doing the searching/vetting and has found that the bi aspect cuts down the ‘available pool’ of guys that are prepared to hook up. If it was straight guys, she could be fucking a different guy every night and bring home a creampie ( must have passed a recent STI test and show us the evidence) I’ve accepted that to make this happen more frequently due to our child care situation, she has got to play on her own. I do have a very slight cuck slant to what turns me on, so this really works for me and my wife gets what she wants-total freedom to have as much sex as she can handle.
Always, keep your wife central in this and really concentrate on her enjoyment, if you can manage this with authenticity, you will absolutely get what you want and need out of this too.
Look forward to hearing how you get on. The search for the right guy can be pretty gruelling!

[DCaftermath]

Hello :
After 12 years of trying to convince my wife of fucking other men and hot couples, I have failed. She keeps thinking my fantasy stems from I not being satisfied with her in bed. Nothing can be further from the truth. I tell her it’s about I wanting her to be satisfied by someone who can perform better and longer than I. I just got yet another big “no.”
Any advice?

The first mistake I see is in your first sentence. Don’t try to convince her of sex with others, convince her that her fucking others is something you would find hot, convince her that you trust her to have sexual relations with other men without it having ill effect on your marriage.
Secondly make 100% sure that you show interest in her and when the two of you have sex, and she leaves you aching for more, tell her you can’t wait to have her again. Satisfied means you’ve had enough. I am not talking about the low you get right after busting a nut, all of us get that to some extent but that is not the definition of satisfaction, that’s just post nut. By morning if you are already looking for more from her let her know your desires, hopefully by then you are like Al Pacino in Scent of a Woman when he returns to the limo and he is in awe at what he just experienced with the high end prostitute. If you feel like him, tell her. If she’s good in bed tell her that she is. If she’s is worth worshipping, worship her.

If you truly want her to fuck other men tell you’d like if she did but never ask her to do it. You be you, just as she should be her. If you are getting “no” it’s because you are asking her to do something you shouldn’t ask of her, instead just make your desires clear to her, if you are doing it right you won’t get no, instead you will get a reply something like, “that’s something I am not interested in” or if you are lucky it will be, “I think I would like to try that, do you really think you could handle that?”

Lastly don’t wear it out, be clear so she know exactly where you stand. Only come back to it if it is you stating your opinion and never to try to convince.

And in case she ever changes her mind, and begins to be more curious about it, make certain it is truly something you want and something you could give her the space she needs to go about it comfortably, with your reassuring support.

[aztd]

Following

[Shiphead]

Make sure you talk about ground rules. Without guidelines that you both can live with, you could easily lose her. There are a number of divorces caused by this lifestyle too. Mostly because the communication between you both. Do you want to reclaim her when she gets home? Overnights? Are there plans to join her, either watching or joining? Have some good conversations about it during sex and other times when you're just talking about it.
Lastly, why can't you find babysitting? It's not that expensive. Then you could go to the meet and greets together. You can make sure the understanding that the first time will be for a set time limit, like 4 hours for example. Communication!

[aztd]

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[JaBe]

Hello again:
My wife has finally said she wants to fuck white hung men, but especially if they are bi so that we both can fulfill our bi oral men-man fantasy, and of course, so that she gets to enjoy hung men. The only condition is that I don’t fuck other women.

• 12 years to 23rd June and a solid "No"

• One post on 'Our Hotwives'

• 5th July and suddenly she wants a white guy with a big cock, and if he's bi you can suck him too.

Forgive me if I'm not convinced, but good luck to you anyway.

[John Ryan]

Hello again:
My wife has finally said she wants to fuck white hung men, but especially if they are bi so that we both can fulfill our bi oral men-man fantasy, and of course, so that she gets to enjoy hung men. The only condition is that I don’t fuck other women.

Why the quick turn around? How do you feel about the conditions? Giving head to a man, you okay with that? Are you willing to give up the ability to fuck other women. No negoiation allowed?

[John Ryan]

Hello again:
My wife has finally said she wants to fuck white hung men, but especially if they are bi so that we both can fulfill our bi oral men-man fantasy, and of course, so that she gets to enjoy hung men. The only condition is that I don’t fuck other women.

Why the quick turn around? How do you feel about the conditions? Giving head to a man, you okay with that? Are you willing to give up the ability to fuck other women. No negoiation allowed?

[firef503]

I don't think a lot of men realize what their wife is saying no to. She isn't necessary saying no to the idea but she is saying no to you. Most women will say no to the husband when he presents it as a theory. Why? Because she doesn't want to think of her husband as someone pushing her to have sex with other men. I've had sex with married women before that have a free pass to do whatever they want with the only stipulation being they tell their husband everything. They still opt to keep it a secret from him!

But in the right situation an attractive guy is hitting on her, maybe she's had a few glasses of wine, doesn't think anybody she knows is around or will see her. It's much more likely it will happen.