My wife's first date with another man, and it's her ex!

[BadCandy]

Hello everyone! I've been lingering on this site for a while, but I didn't have anything to contribute till now. My wife has her first date with another man, this weekend, and it's with her ex!

I've seen some people use fake names on here, so I'm gonna do that too. We'll call my wife Lisa. We'll call her ex Nathan. Lisa and I have been friends since 2015, we worked together. we were friends while she dated Nathan for 2 years. He also worked at the same company, but in another department. I helped her through her breakup. Lisa and I started dating in 2019, and got married in 2021.

Lisa and Nathan's breakup was amicable. they left on good terms, but they haven't spoken at all since they broke up in 2018. A few weeks ago Lisa got an email from Nathan saying that his sister was getting married. Lisa and Nathan's sister were friends, so Nathan asked if Lisa would want to go to the wedding.

Lisa and I talked about it, and responded asking if he was just inviting her to attend, or if he was asking her to go with him as his date. He clarified that he was just asking if she wanted to attend as friends, not a date, since Lisa and his sister were friends he thought she'd like to be there. Nathan knows that Lisa is married to me.

That was a few weeks ago. Lisa and I talked about it. I told her I was okay with her going if she wanted to. She decided she would go.

Lisa knows that I have fantasies about her being with other men. I told her about it a while back, and we occasionally talk about it during sex, but we've never actually done anything about it... Last weekend Lisa and I were making out, and getting into it, and she brought up Nathan. We ended up talking about her fucking him while we had sex, and we were surprised how turned on we were at the idea of it!

I brought it up to her again the next day, and told her it might be awkward at the wedding if they go as just friends, cause they would be the only single people there, and suggested she be his date. We talked about it all day, and decided that might be going a little too fare. She didn't want his family thinking they were back together... BUT, it might be an opportunity to explore some things we've been talking about.

That night she spoke to Nate on the phone. turns out he's single. He hasn't been with anyone since they split up. I listened while they talked. She told him it could secretly be a date, as long as everyone there thought she was just there as a friend. She put him on speaker phone and he asked me if I was sure, and I told him yeah, have fun. they haven't spoken in years so its a good change to catch up.

That night Lisa and I talked about whether she should / could sleep with him. She seemed like she wanted to, but was hesitant. She's never done anything like this before. We settled on she can if she wants, but doesn't have to. See how the evening goes. If she's gonna explore the fantasy its better to do it with someone she knows, and has been with before, than some random guy.

Lisa and Nate have texted every day since then, so far. The plan is for her to meet him for lunch, before the wedding, then go to the wedding and reception "as friends" and see how things go. At that point she has the option of going back to his place, or coming home.

I do find myself hoping she goes back to his place... but I'm also super nervous because he is her ex! My head is spinning with thoughts... is this a dangerous game? Surely, once they see each other again, old flames will re-ignite, right? ...I imagine that he'll instantly remember what its like to have sex with her! ...and, I mean, GOOD! I want him to! ...but like, thats it!

Theres a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach that i am both excited by, and nervous about! I've seen people on here talk about that feeling, now I know how it feels!

While she's out with him, I'm gonna be home alone, on my day off! what the hell am I gonna do all day to keep from going crazy?? I feel like I'm gonna explode! but I do want her to go through with it!!

Anyone have any advice for a first-time cuck home alone while his wife is on a date with her ex?

[armyguyot1]

Welcome to the forum BadCandy.

[venus-can99]

As someone who is not in the LS I really dont have any advice. As long as you and Lisa trust and love each other and the relationship is strong, then you may not to worry. I think you are doing the right thing by not pressuring her but to see how things evolve. Is the wedding in town or far away?

[knight4princess]

Oh I hate to pour cold water on this but ... if this is your first dip into the lifestyle, it sounds a lot risky to me. You can't un-do this. I know everyone on here says stuff like that. But he is your wife's ex, and they didn't end up angry with one another. I have a Hotwife who has been active for years but THIS scenario would scare me. A wedding and your wife and her ex are maybe back together in the eyes of many guests who mutually know them, even if they go as "friends?"

Just my perspective. But also, if you try it, and it sets her up to play with other guys, and become a real Hotwife, then it's a success. Only you can judge that.

[sconesy73]

Anyone have any advice for a first-time cuck home alone while his wife is on a date with her ex?

For me, the 3 most important things in this sort of relationship are communication, communication and communication.
If you and your wife have that sorted- and it certainly seems like you do- then go for it
It's going to be a wild ride for you- an absolute roller coaster of emotions- but it'll be worth it!
As for you being home alone? Keep yourself busy- wash the car, do those little jobs you've been putting off.. My partner's just started back up with a guy after 2.5 years of no playing and she's suggested I tidy up the garage
I've been at this for over 30 years with my partner and it's still as enjoyable as ever.. Congratulations

[Wannabee]

As a wannabee, this is very exciting and the type of scenario i often fantasised about. From what you've said, it's now quite rightly up to your wife to decide where this goes. Just love and support her.

Please keep us informed no matter what happens (or doesn't happen). Thanks.

[BadCandy]

As someone who is not in the LS I really dont have any advice. As long as you and Lisa trust and love each other and the relationship is strong, then you may not to worry. I think you are doing the right thing by not pressuring her but to see how things evolve. Is the wedding in town or far away?

oh yeah, I'm comfortable with our relationship. We love and trust each other, and I trust her to not leave me for him, or anything like that... and I trust that what ever she does will be within our boundaries, and I'll know all about it...

but within my boundaries, honestly, I want her to fuck him! so like, my boundary is pretty loose...

doesnt mean its not nerve wracking though! ...I comfortable that I want her to fuck him... but I dont know what I'm hoping for more, to hear that she did, or that she didnt...

its hard to know how I'm gonna react one way or another...

I want to think that if I didnt see her till the next morning, and I found out she fucked him, that I would be happy, and horny! ...thats what I'm hoping for, at least!

...sorry, I feel like I'm talking a lot... I'm nervous!

the wedding is about an hour and a half away from us

[parklife]

Anyone have any advice for a first-time cuck home alone while his wife is on a date with her ex?

For me, the 3 most important things in this sort of relationship are communication, communication and communication.
If you and your wife have that sorted- and it certainly seems like you do- then go for it
It's going to be a wild ride for you- an absolute roller coaster of emotions- but it'll be worth it!
As for you being home alone? Keep yourself busy- wash the car, do those little jobs you've been putting off.. My partner's just started back up with a guy after 2.5 years of no playing and she's suggested I tidy up the garage
I've been at this for over 30 years with my partner and it's still as enjoyable as ever.. Congratulations

I’m going to say scones nails it…. There is plenty of talk upfront and if everyone is on the same page, it could set up for something great. I come from the experience of having my wife’s first time be with an ex-flame. It made her so much more comfortable in exploring this and if she didn’t start that way, I’m convinced she never would have become a hotwife in the first place.

Only you know what your relationship truly is and what it can handle. I was confident my wife could explore and keep it separated and she did…. She developed emotions along the way eventually but I also learned that I could handle that part as well because whatever she had/felt with another did not diminish anything we had between us. Since then, she’s had multiple ‘new’ guys and may be starting something up with the ex-boyfriend that took her virginity at 15 (she’s now 47…. They broke up when she was 21…. Talk about time between sexual encounters). All because we eased into it with the person she felt comfortable with in the beginning.

[sconesy73]

Anyone have any advice for a first-time cuck home alone while his wife is on a date with her ex?

For me, the 3 most important things in this sort of relationship are communication, communication and communication.
If you and your wife have that sorted- and it certainly seems like you do- then go for it
It's going to be a wild ride for you- an absolute roller coaster of emotions- but it'll be worth it!
As for you being home alone? Keep yourself busy- wash the car, do those little jobs you've been putting off.. My partner's just started back up with a guy after 2.5 years of no playing and she's suggested I tidy up the garage
I've been at this for over 30 years with my partner and it's still as enjoyable as ever.. Congratulations

I’m going to say scones nails it…. There is plenty of talk upfront and if everyone is on the same page, it could set up for something great. I come from the experience of having my wife’s first time be with an ex-flame. It made her so much more comfortable in exploring this and if she didn’t start that way, I’m convinced she never would have become a hotwife in the first place.

Only you know what your relationship truly is and what it can handle. I was confident my wife could explore and keep it separated and she did…. She developed emotions along the way eventually but I also learned that I could handle that part as well because whatever she had/felt with another did not diminish anything we had between us. Since then, she’s had multiple ‘new’ guys and may be starting something up with the ex-boyfriend that took her virginity at 15 (she’s now 47…. They broke up when she was 21…. Talk about time between sexual encounters). All because we eased into it with the person she felt comfortable with in the beginning.

Thanks

And I absolutely agree about your partner having to feel comfortable with the person she's going to have sex with- it's one of the most intimate things people can do together! In over 30 years of being in this lifestyle, I'd say quite confidently that every single person S (my partner, now 51) has had sex with, there's been some sort of emotional connection with. And yeah, that emotional connection will develop and deepen over time- to the benefit of the whole dynamic in my experience- certainly not the detriment!

If I suggested to her that she went out and picked up a stranger in a bar she'd be scared stiff and would hate the experience - and would be extremely unlikely to move forward with anything.

[naivecuck2]

It appears as if you have cuckold angst before being cucked...I remember calling my wife from work and it was 11:00 AM and she was still in our marital bed with her lover....I experienced instant cuckold angst. The extra-marital sex did become addictive for her and when they were alone together she had to be naked, no jewelry, no earrings, no wedding ring. I believe that was his way of showing that he owned her when they were together. So, it can be very exciting but in my case, I naively believed it would be once and done....not 4-5 days per week while I was at work and our two elementary school daughters were in school.

[Barti]

This story is build up like so many other stories.
By a newbie...

[subbieCuck]

It is a risky situation but my advice is go for it. Your future self wont forgive you being coward.

It is risky because 1. He is an ex and 2. He is single. If heat is up, he might want hard to get back. 3. Worse of all, they work in the same company. Mixing career and sex....not a smart move.

But. Follow your heart. Not your brain.

My 2 cents.

[subbieCuck]

It is a risky situation but my advice is go for it. Your future self wont forgive you being coward.

It is risky because 1. He is an ex and 2. He is single. If heat is up, he might want hard to get back. 3. Worse of all, they work in the same company. Mixing career and sex....not a smart move.

But. Follow your heart. Not your brain.

My 2 cents.

[wannabecUKold]

When is the wedding? It’s common enough at weddings for guests to bring a plus one, and even to borrow a friend who might be someone else’s wife/husband. Whether they sleep together and have sex, it’s up to them.
The ex has cleared it with you. So at present it is all above board and you have signalled that you are comfortable with it, however it turns out.
I think the ex needs to explain to his sister and family that Lisa is coming in her own right (and as his semi plus one on a purely platonic basis), that she is married but it made sense to invite her because she knows the family and would like to see them again. If Lisa and the ex end up in bed that is their private business.
If it goes well, then, going forward, you can expect that at the very least the ex may ask to borrow Lisa again as a plus one. However, what you must insist is that they do not become romantic partners in any way, otherwise you will have to put an end to his occasional borrowing arrangement.

PS my wife’s ex borrows her for their uni alumni events. I’ve told him he can bed her. But he doesn’t, too respectful. Or maybe it’s SPH.

[milehinbi]

What a hot start for you guys. Surely the temperature in your bedroom has gone up even just considering it. The thing about weddings is they seem to make everyone horny for some reason. Must be hardwired into our DNA. I'd put the odds of her taking him to bed at about 99%.

Advice for you would be to treat her to salon day ahead of time if that's the kind of thing she enjoys. Buy her some sexy lingerie to wear as affirmation that you are 100% on board. And buy yourself some good lube so you don't get blisters while you imagine the goings on.

[Ready2StartAgain]

It appears as if you have cuckold angst before being cucked...I remember calling my wife from work and it was 11:00 AM and she was still in our marital bed with her lover....I experienced instant cuckold angst. The extra-marital sex did become addictive for her and when they were alone together she had to be naked, no jewelry, no earrings, no wedding ring. I believe that was his way of showing that he owned her when they were together. So, it can be very exciting but in my case, I naively believed it would be once and done....not 4-5 days per week while I was at work and our two elementary school daughters were in school.

I think most of us would enjoy a Hotwife fucking her BF 4-5 times a week!?

[joel68]

It appears that there may be some hot times coming up. If she decides to have him fuck her after the wedding, do you expect her to give you updates?

[Cuckcuckgoose1]

When is the wedding?

[BadCandy]

oh my god, oh my god, ok... so many thoughts running through my head... so many feelings... i've only just composed myself enough to write this update...

She did it! she spent the night with him!

the wedding was yesterday. She left at around 1, to meet him for lunch, beforehand. The wedding is about an hour and a half away, and was scheduled to start at 5. This would give them a couple hours to catch up before going to the wedding.

I actually tried to convince her not to wear a bra, but she thought that would be too inappropriate around his family... and, i mean, she was right...

I told her to text me updates if and when she can, but it's not the end of the world if she doesn't, as long as I get all the details eventually.

She texted me after the ceremony, again from the reception, and one more time after she'd had a few drinks at the reception. General updates with no indication of whether she was going back to him place or coming home. At that point, I didn't think she even knew yet...

Of course I could not get to sleep! I had read on this forum that jerking off, in this situation, was not advised, cause afterward I might feel different, and start regretting things, so i didn't... I tried to distract myself with movies and videos games, but I could not focus... at about 1am, when I had not heard anything from her, I assumed it was because she was at his place.

Last time I saw the clock before finally passing out was 3:14am... I woke up around 9 and she still was not home... during the night I thought about posting about it on here, but I wasn't sure what was going on. Didn't have enough info, so I refrained. When I woke up alone I thought about texting her, but decided I wanted to play it cool... Actually, I'm glad I didn't...

About a half hour before I began writing this post, she called me!! I spoke to her on the phone!!

She was still in bed... with him... He was there with her while she talked to me... She told me about the night... I heard him in the background... She told him my responses...

They had sex last night! ...and again this morning! ...and were both still naked, in his bed, while talking to me! ...and she is going to spend the rest of the day with him, and come home tonight!

She said it was really nice to see him again, and she enjoyed catching up with him. It was nice seeing his sister and family. The wedding was beautiful, and she had a lot of fun... She said that when she met him for lunch she had pretty much decided she was going to spend the night with him, but didn't want to commit yet so she could change her mind... She said that during the reception she decided she was going to go ahead and do it, so she had a few too many drinks... so she wasn't sober enough to make the hour and a half drive home, and rode with Nathan back to his place... leaving her car at the reception hall... so they have to go back and get it, today.

Nathan thanked me for letting him borrow her, and made sure I was okay with her spending the day with him. He also, very directly, thanked me for letting her sleep with him, and made sure I was okay with it... He even said he wanted to sleep with her one more time, today, before she leaves, and was I alright with that? ...I heard him say this to her, and I told her to tell him I was okay with it! of course! have fun! you've already had sex with her twice, might as well go for a third time!

So It's all above board! Everything is out in the open! no one is trying to do anything behind anyone's back. I'm so grateful I didn't text her! I'm so grateful she called, and did so with him there still, so I can talk to him (even if through her).

Now that I know what's going on! and what went on! my brain is exploding!! I know they are going to have sex again today, at some point! I know I'll see her late, tonight, and thats when I'll get all the details...

I don't even know how to feel! This is the craziest thing we have ever done! I'm still processing... I know theres a bit of nervous anxiety... But I trust her. Our relationship is pretty strong, so I'm not worried about losing her to him... I'm just sharing her with him... and... at least, at the moment (I still haven't jerked off yet), all I really feel is horny haha

When the anxious feelings start, I just tell myself that I encouraged this, I wanted this, I approved this. If I had said no she would not be there, it would not have happened... So here we are! ...might as well enjoy it, because she certainly seems to be enjoying it!

I know, because her and I have talked about it before, their breakup was amicable because after 2 years of dating they both realized they did not love each other. they liked each other fine, but they were "out of sync" as a couple and decided, together, that they were better as friends... and that sex was really the only part of their relationship that worked... They both wanted more than just that though, so they mutually decided to end it, on good terms.

..so here they are, after all these years, again indulging in the only thing about their relationship that worked...


For anyone who is curious, the wedding is an hour and a half away from our apartment, and about 45 minutes away from Nathan's place. I don't know how far Nathan's place is from our place, and I don't know anything else about Nathan's place...

Lisa and I are gonna have to talk through a lot of this, I don't know if this was a one-time thing, or if she's gonna wanna see him again... but, at least at this moment, I think I would want her to... so these are things we'll have to work out!

anyway! ...thanks for all the responses everyone! ...for this newbie getting cucked for the first time! WOO, what a ride!

I'll post more when I know more!

[BadCandy]

This story is build up like so many other stories.
By a newbie...

...yes, I am a newbie... who just got cucked for the first time... what's wrong with that?

...genuine question. I've seen other people post "build up" stories on here, since I've been lurking... but if people don't stories until all the details are had, then tell me and I wont post about things until afterward.

[BadCandy]

It is a risky situation but my advice is go for it. Your future self wont forgive you being coward.

It is risky because 1. He is an ex and 2. He is single. If heat is up, he might want hard to get back. 3. Worse of all, they work in the same company. Mixing career and sex....not a smart move.

But. Follow your heart. Not your brain.

My 2 cents.

points 1 and 2 are concerns, yes. for point 1, though, we both felt that if she was going to sleep with another man that it would be better that its an ex, someone she knows, than a random stranger... but yes, point 2 is definitely a thought in my head... will he want to get back together with her?? and if so, what do we do about it? ...I do know I trust her, though. I have no reason not to. in the 6 years we have been together she has never given me any reason not to trust her... so what ever happens next I am sure we will work it out, together...

far as point 3, they USED to work together, years ago, when they dated... All three of us worked at the same company, thats how we met... so he knows me, too... they do not work together now. We all work at different places now.

[venus-can99]

BC - thanks for the update that reflects your genuine feelings of angst, elation and anxiety that is extremely well written and very expressive. I am sure after she is back the two of you will have a lot to discuss and decide on the future. Your support for her happiness and decisions comes across in your posts so looking forward to more details as this progresses.

[Wannabee]

Hi BadCandy. Thanks for your update. Please keep providing updates as you navigate your way through this journey. Your wife deserves all the love you can give her when she gets home.

[sconesy73]

She did it! she spent the night with him!

Congratulations 🥰

Enjoy the "debrief" when it happens- a lot of fun 🥵

[weluvtoodoit]

Good for her and for you! I have been in your shoes two different times in our marriage where she has been gone overnight. The homecoming is something that I reflect back on often. Those moments when we first saw each other after her return, is something that I will never forget. I hope you get to experience those overwhelming feelings of love as she tells you bits and pieces of their time together. In the following days she may reveal more of what transpired, which (IMO) only strengthens the bond between you and her. Thanks for the update and congratulations!!