Recently started getting fantasies. How to cope with it?

[anondesires]

Cmon man, you're like season 2 of squid game. You wait for 2 years to see it and they split it in half and makes you wait another year

I've not seen it. Would you prefer that I save it all up and post it all at once? Or skip out a load of details?
What more do you want from me?!

[parheliam]

Cmon man, you're like season 2 of squid game. You wait for 2 years to see it and they split it in half and makes you wait another year

I've not seen it. Would you prefer that I save it all up and post it all at once? Or skip out a load of details?
What more do you want from me?!

Haha no mate, was just a joke. Is one of the nicest thread to read so we're bearing with you
As i previously said it seems to me that now you are more relaxed with the ideea so i am very courious what changed in your dynamic.

[anondesires]

As i previously said it seems to me that now you are more relaxed with the ideea so i am very courious what changed in your dynamic.

I know, a few people have said it, but I can't discuss it...
One day...

Thanks

[ppisbest5]

As i previously said it seems to me that now you are more relaxed with the ideea so i am very courious what changed in your dynamic.

I know, a few people have said it, but I can't discuss it...
One day...

Thanks

Ow man why can't you discuss it?

Also you said all this came and went so how are you doing now mentally and emotionally? How is your relationship with your girlfriend and your friend?

I really hope you're doing well since a lot of stories on here have negative endings etc.

Like you said earlier that you would've loved to read recounts of people in position similar to yours so help you guide, We'd love to hear how you're feeling.

A deeper question if you don't mind me asking: Now that it's happened, have you changed how you feel about your girlfriend? Do you feel distant or closer to her after the fact? And how does she feel about this, id guess she'd be feeling ecstatic since she's getting to have her cake and eat it too but Im curious how you and her interact day to day, if she's a bit more dominant.

Soorry for the intrusive questions lol I'm high on some new weed and it's making me very neurotic. You don't have to answer if you feel uncomfortable.

[elina]

Dear Anondesires

Thank you for sharing the details of this momenteous event.

We were probably making out and being generally affectionate with each other on the bed for 20-30 mins. Our emotions were a bit crazy and bouncing off each other. I was dwelling on how she had suggested that I could overpower her and fuck her. Like I explained in an answer to a question:

She was giving me the opportunity to man up, she said it like it was simple and being offered on a plate. However... she was very much playing dominant, she may as well have been wielding the strapon and have had a whip in her hand. She was offering it but I think she was giving me an illusion of choice, knowing full well what I would choose. I think she also needed more confidence to be able to let go without worrying about me and our relationship. She wanted to experience her own submission again, she was letting me know that the training wheels were coming off.

That dominant facade came off when she rolled off of me. We were very much in loving couple mode, her in my arms. I considered that I could even more easily now overpower her and fuck her, she looked so hot but I knew no good would come of it. We'd both probably enjoy it for a few minutes but then I would probably only last a few minutes, she would be left still frustrated, she then wouldn't want to fuck my friend being full of my cum and would be annoyed at me.

Was it really a facade?

It seems to me like your Girlfriend is a real life Goddess with the gift of seeing through the males in Her life and understanding them better than they understand themselves. It looks to me like the Goddess will combine that insight with Her own needs and desires and take the necessary steps to ensure you will find yourself wanting for Her what She wants for Herself.

She comes across very much as a loving-dominant towards you, She may at time dominate beyond what you think you want at the time, but then make sure She conveys her strong love for you in a manner which helps you accept youself as you are.

There are not many Ladies like that, you should consider yourself lucky and ask yourself what you need to do to ensure She will allways want to keep you as Her special partner.

....."You might know how to get me going but you can't take me all the way..." she said in a breathy/horny tone. It was true. "What are you going to do? Give me a few thrusts of smaller-than-average dick? I'd rather wait for the real deal...". She had disarmed me with words and sentiment. I stopped, we both looked into each others eyes, my hands still holding her arms down. We were both horny and frustrated. She apologised but then realised she had probably turned me on with her words. She had. She teased that I had got her wet and horny for my friend. I let her arms go, we went back to a loving embrace, it felt like my fate was now sealed.

Yes, Her final act as a Your Superior Dominant Goddess that night. Harsh words, but necessary to seal your faith and She wanted that for Herself and for you. Note also how for a moment, shifting into Her loving dominant mode, She is concerned that She may have pushed you too far, Then realizing that this was actually what you needed to hear. Yes, She sealed your faith...

Really looking forward to learn what She did later to make you feel good about it and accept that this was the faith you were destined to experience, and now you should feel lucky that it was this very special Goddess who took you through all of these hurdles.

Sincerely
elina

[venus-can99]

Thanks for sharing this Anon.... looking forward to reading more on how the evening evolved. Please share the details that you are comfortable with. Perhaps as time goes on you may feel that it is easier to share more as a journal than as an exercise to meet what the readers want.

[anondesires]

Ow man why can't you discuss it?

Because I need to explain up to where I'm currently at first. Plus I don't want to give away what may or may not have happened and it would just get confusing if I'm talking about 2 weeks ago in 1 post and then talking about now in another.

I'll try to double back and answer your questions when I'm up to date.

[anondesires]

Was it really a facade?

Facade is possibly the wrong word but I'm bad at thinking of the right words and just settled for it. Persona maybe? She's playing/being a role, it's not fake but she can turn it on and off in the context of sex usually.

It seems to me like your Girlfriend is a real life Goddess with the gift of seeing through the males in Her life and understanding them better than they understand themselves. It looks to me like the Goddess will combine that insight with Her own needs and desires and take the necessary steps to ensure you will find yourself wanting for Her what She wants for Herself.

She comes across very much as a loving-dominant towards you, She may at time dominate beyond what you think you want at the time, but then make sure She conveys her strong love for you in a manner which helps you accept youself as you are.

That's one way of putting it

Yes, Her final act as a Your Superior Dominant Goddess that night. Harsh words, but necessary to seal your faith and She wanted that for Herself and for you. Note also how for a moment, shifting into Her loving dominant mode, She is concerned that She may have pushed you too far, Then realizing that this was actually what you needed to hear. Yes, She sealed your faith...

What struck me is she didn't really try to struggle physically, she quite calmly, confidently and effectively did it psychologically.

[anondesires]

I stood in the kitchen for a while carefully jerking off, thinking about all the things I thought about last time. I imagined what they might be doing right now. I was desperate to know but I knew I could watch the video recording later which made it easier to deal with. I wanted to listen in but I was scared that he might make an unexpected trip to the bathroom or something and see me sat there jerking off, that was worst case scenario. I realised how a few weeks ago I considered what was currently happening to be worst case scenario and here I was. I realised that the safe word was basically redundant now, I had never used it and there was no need to anymore.

I tried to pull myself together, I needed to do normal things, as if they weren't together or even in the house. I poured myself a drink and sat back down in the lounge. Her lingerie was still scattered around the lounge. I remembered how hot she looked wearing it and then pictured how she'd look right now, no doubt naked and enjoying his dick. They were in our bed, the same bed I could've fucked her in an hour or so ago. It could've been me fucking her, we could've ignored the knock at the door, left him standing there and been laughing at him thinking that I would let him fuck her. Instead I chose this?! I considered tidying the lingerie but thought it might seem creepy. There was nothing else to clean or tidy, we'd done it all that morning. I took out my laptop and tried to distract myself with youtube and other things I normally do but it was difficult. After a few minutes I realised I could hear them, I stopped the video so I could hear better and started jerking off again. I moved closer to the stairs so I could hear better but still get back to my laptop should he suddenly head downstairs for some reason.

I stood with my back against the wall, stroking my dick, listening to my girlfriend moaning in pleasure, trying to make out what they were saying to each other. It was in this moment that it hit me, that this was fucking hot. I didn't need to fight this anymore, the worst had happened now, I should just enjoy how hot it was. I felt almost grateful that she had pushed me into this, she sounded like she was in bliss and I wasn't having performance anxiety or being stressed about satisfying her. I remembered all the times he had joked about fucking my girlfriend and me jerking off to how hot it was and the humiliating reality felt good. All the humiliating thoughts I'd had that tormented me over the past weeks and months just felt good. I remembered a poll I saw somewhere months ago, I thought it was on this forum but I can't find it now where guys that had been both bull and cuck chose what they thought was more enjoyable and everyone voted overwhelmingly for cuck. I thought it was bullshit and biased at the time but it was starting to make sense. I liked the idea that I had accidently discovered something more enjoyable. My friend thought he was getting one over on me but maybe I was enjoying it more? Maybe that's a stretch.

I'm not sure what happened, maybe I got too close to cumming or something but I lost a lot of the hornyness and started to fill up with doubt/dread/shame. I went back to my laptop, tried to watch videos again. I started thinking that she might break up with me for him. It was an irrational thought, she didn't like him, he was notoriously bad with women but I kept thinking it. I also considered that she might start spending more time with him than me because of her sex drive and sex with him being new, exciting and taboo. I convinced myself that I should use the safe word and make sure this was the last time. I managed to distract myself for a while but then was snapped back to reality by the sounds getting louder than what I was watching. I was back to horny, I started stroking again. It sounded like he was really going for it. I heard her cum hard but the bed noises were still going and then I heard him grunting. I struggled to control myself. There was a long silence after that. I started to fear what they were doing, if they were cuddling and making out like we would. I stopped to consider whether they might've kissed, I hadn't considered this at all. She hadn't kissed the other guy, it was just sex. Why hadn't I considered this? What if she was telling him how much better he was than me? What if she'd stopped the recording and I wouldn't even know what had happened in this time? She could be telling him all of our secrets, they might be laughing at me, plotting our breakup. I heard the bedroom door open, it was a huge relief. I put my dick away and resumed what I was watching at a normal volume as if I had been watching the whole time.

I heard him coming down the stairs alone, he walked in, his hair messy and his clothes thrown on. He said something about her being amazing and that he was going to head straight off, that he didn't want to be part of anything awkward. I told him I appreciated it but instantly regretted it because it sounded like I was saying I appreciated him fucking my girl. He saw himself out. I made sure he had definitely gone and then headed upstairs.

I wasn't sure what to expect when I walked into the bedroom. The first thing I saw was a bunch of used condoms and wrappers in the bin and then her thong on the floor. As I walked around the corner, she was laying in bed, covered up and looking messy and emotional. I wouldn't say she was sad, it was more happy, exhausted and a bit teary, more so when she saw me walk in. I didn't undress, I just got into bed with her and asked if she was ok. She said she was, she said the sex was amazing, she was just coming down from it and felt a bit guilty/shameful/slutty and that she needed some love and affection. I told her I loved her, she said it back, we kissed and cuddled, she smelled different. She asked if I was ok, I said at times it had been insanely arousing and at others I feared them making sweet love to each other. She laughed and pointed out how ridiculous that idea was, I agreed but told her it didn't stop my head going there. We were kissing and interjecting with increasingly teasing questions and answers, getting ourselves horny and passionately kissing. She asked if I was kissing so passionately because I'd remembered that her lips had been around his cock, I hadn't considered it but couldn't hide my increased passion for her after she said it. She told me her pussy lips had been around his cock too and suggested they needed the same love and affection. The way she said it was so fucking hot, so confident, so brazen. I shifted down her body, kissing and inspecting as if she was going to be covered in love bites or something. Her pussy was loose, wet and swollen, the urge to eat her pussy was hard to resist. I went down on her sensitively at first but got pretty excited thinking about his cock having been fucking her just minutes ago. She told me that he's going to get tested and that next time I might get the full cuckold experience, this only egged me on more which in turn she seemed to enjoy until she had a good climax.

I undressed and got on top of her, I think we both knew I wouldn't last long. She asked me to go slow, to make love to her and enjoy each other. Her pussy felt strange, a bit like last time but less lubed, a bit more feeling. We made out as I slowly thrusted, each thrust close to edging me. I asked her why there were so many condoms in the bin. She said because he went between pussy, feet and blowjobs and used a new one each time he went for her pussy. The thought of him going between everything her body had to offer became quite vivid, the thought of her willingly giving him everything he wanted from her. I was trying to hold the orgasm back. I remembered all those times months ago where the thought of him fucking her would invade my mind and make me cum. Now he had actually fucked her. We stopped kissing, I looked into her eyes, I realised he had probably done the same as he nutted in her minutes ago. The thought of him using my beautiful girl and her enjoying it was too much. She could tell I was about to cum, she smiled at me as I released everything I had inside her.

We kissed, cuddled and chatted in bed for probably an hour before venturing off to order a pizza. I remembered from last time how much more calm/pleasant/relaxed she is after getting fucked like that. The couple of weeks before she had been quite tense, quite frustrated and determined to get fucked. It was a nice relief to know he had given her what she needed and not done anything to upset her.

I guess I still need to talk about the video recording and the messages I had with him shortly after and then I can answer some of the questions.

[Dream Weaver]

You say you have a hard time writing. You are a great writer! Very hot. I hope the advice here has served you well!

[venus-can99]

Thanks for the wonderful write up - you describe the scene and your feelings so well. Not to get too far ahead- are you guys planning the next round?

[wannabecUKold]

Wonderful write up of your reaction to your girl being fucked by your best friend. You have captured the different stages of your shock, arousal, humiliation, shame, acceptance, calm and pleasure very clearly. It felt like I was right there in your place, erection and all.

[avid fan]

Wow, that was intense. Well done you for handling it all so well.

[anondesires]

While we were waiting for pizza to arrive, I got a message from him. I think I'm going to have to paraphrase this rather than paste the conversation because there's too much slang, personal references and parallel conversations going on. He basically asked if everything was good with us and was checking there was no hard feelings towards him. I told him everything was fine, nothing to worry about. It's funny how they both "cheat" on me and I have to comfort them about it. I guess it's good that they feel some guilt, it would be worrying if they didn't?

Him: [...] You know, I cucked you pretty good today ​ ...just saying... I'm kidding but I'd love to know what's going on with you two. Did you get caught cheating or something? Cos from where I was standing, it looked like she was rubbing your face in it. Hat off to you though, you took it well, I'd have been pissed.

I wanted to say something like "yeah, it sounds like you gave her feet a good time...", I probably could've held my own, he's more insecure than me, he would've come back telling me how she loved it or something, it would've turned me on, it was tempting but it didn't seem like the right approach.

Me: You can keep a secret, right? When did you realise you had a foot fetish? Who else knows?
Him: I've already sworn to secrecy on all of this, trust me. Don't go changing the subject now!
Me: If you want to know, you'll go first...
Him: As long as I can remember, nobody else knows, it freaked me the fuck out when [my girlfriend] called me on it. Btw, I'm sorry about the stuff that happened between [him and her], I wanted to confess to you but... you know... she had me by the balls.
Me: It's fine, she told me you were going to, I understand, I'm over it. She's observant for sure. I can't believe you've never told anyone. So have you avoided it with every girl you've been with? Always tempted but never giving into it?
Him: Pretty much. Like how do you even bring that up with a girl? Most would freak out. I've gotten away with some sly stuff over the years, more so with one night stands and strangers. You just avoiding my question?
Me: I bet it felt good to finally indulge with [my girlfriend]'s feet then?
Him: You have no idea, her feet are fucking sexy, do you not see it? Anyway, enough about me already, what's going on with you two?!
Me: I mean, they're not bad as feet go, she looks after them but they're still just feet, I don't get it.
Him: You're stalling...
Me: You already figured it out... she's cucking me...
Him: ​​​​ No, seriously, it must be bad for you to even joke about that, what did you do?! ​
Me: No joke, like 6 months ago, out of nowhere I started getting thoughts of another guy fucking her when I was about to cum. I tried to ignore it but that just made it worse. A few months later, she confesses to the stuff with you and some other things and it just spiralled from there.
Him: You're shitting me! No fucking way.
Me: I wish I was
Him: So just completely out of nowhere, you started thinking about that?! And couldn't help it?! Why did you even tell her?!
Me: Pretty much. Like with you, she figured it out. Then she found it the best thing ever...
Him: And I thought I had it bad... I still don't believe it, I'm waiting for you to tell me it's all a joke.
Me: Like I said, I wish it was.
Him: I feel bad for you but it's kinda hilarious. I'm sorry. So was I the first? Who's idea was it?
Me: Not the first, no. It's always her idea, I've never actually wanted it but I can't seem to say no, especially if I'm horny.
Him: How many others? Have you watched?
Me: She fucked 1 guy from her past, I watched that. She gave a bj to someone she met through work, I wasn't there for that.
Him: omfg! that's mental! what a slut! I don't mean that badly... I still can't believe it. That's what you get for having a girlfriend that's too hot for you, I did warn you! ​ So were you jerking off downstairs while we were fucking? Did you not want to watch?
Me: I was and I did but it was already awkward enough.
Him: I'm sorry, that's too good. Next time, feel free to watch, It's the least I can offer

So that was Sunday night, I think it went well, I'd imagined much worse. I still hadn't watched the video recording yet. She didn't want to watch herself and was nervous about me watching it. She said she mostly forgot it was being recorded. She reminded me multiple times that she was very horny and frustrated and none of it meant anything more than just sexual satisfaction to her. It was making me nervous that she kept saying it, I wondered what she was worried about me seeing, I had watched her have sex before and she didn't feel the need to remind me of that back then.

[parheliam]

I think that conversation went pretty well. I'm sure in notime you will have the chance to watch (if not did already).
Still wondering what happened in the video as you mentioned it twice now so for sure it's crucial.
Cheers

[wannabecUKold]

Dear Anon
That was a good chat with best friend. You were right to explain to him. He seems pretty chilled about it and next time will now be far less awkward. I hope you take him up on watching - and more. He is up for it.

[ppisbest5]

While we were waiting for pizza to arrive, I got a message from him. I think I'm going to have to paraphrase this rather than paste the conversation because there's too much slang, personal references and parallel conversations going on. He basically asked if everything was good with us and was checking there was no hard feelings towards him. I told him everything was fine, nothing to worry about. It's funny how they both "cheat" on me and I have to comfort them about it. I guess it's good that they feel some guilt, it would be worrying if they didn't?

Him: [...] You know, I cucked you pretty good today ​ ...just saying... I'm kidding but I'd love to know what's going on with you two. Did you get caught cheating or something? Cos from where I was standing, it looked like she was rubbing your face in it. Hat off to you though, you took it well, I'd have been pissed.

I wanted to say something like "yeah, it sounds like you gave her feet a good time...", I probably could've held my own, he's more insecure than me, he would've come back telling me how she loved it or something, it would've turned me on, it was tempting but it didn't seem like the right approach.

Me: You can keep a secret, right? When did you realise you had a foot fetish? Who else knows?
Him: I've already sworn to secrecy on all of this, trust me. Don't go changing the subject now!
Me: If you want to know, you'll go first...
Him: As long as I can remember, nobody else knows, it freaked me the fuck out when [my girlfriend] called me on it. Btw, I'm sorry about the stuff that happened between [him and her], I wanted to confess to you but... you know... she had me by the balls.
Me: It's fine, she told me you were going to, I understand, I'm over it. She's observant for sure. I can't believe you've never told anyone. So have you avoided it with every girl you've been with? Always tempted but never giving into it?
Him: Pretty much. Like how do you even bring that up with a girl? Most would freak out. I've gotten away with some sly stuff over the years, more so with one night stands and strangers. You just avoiding my question?
Me: I bet it felt good to finally indulge with [my girlfriend]'s feet then?
Him: You have no idea, her feet are fucking sexy, do you not see it? Anyway, enough about me already, what's going on with you two?!
Me: I mean, they're not bad as feet go, she looks after them but they're still just feet, I don't get it.
Him: You're stalling...
Me: You already figured it out... she's cucking me...
Him: ​​​​ No, seriously, it must be bad for you to even joke about that, what did you do?! ​
Me: No joke, like 6 months ago, out of nowhere I started getting thoughts of another guy fucking her when I was about to cum. I tried to ignore it but that just made it worse. A few months later, she confesses to the stuff with you and some other things and it just spiralled from there.
Him: You're shitting me! No fucking way.
Me: I wish I was
Him: So just completely out of nowhere, you started thinking about that?! And couldn't help it?! Why did you even tell her?!
Me: Pretty much. Like with you, she figured it out. Then she found it the best thing ever...
Him: And I thought I had it bad... I still don't believe it, I'm waiting for you to tell me it's all a joke.
Me: Like I said, I wish it was.
Him: I feel bad for you but it's kinda hilarious. I'm sorry. So was I the first? Who's idea was it?
Me: Not the first, no. It's always her idea, I've never actually wanted it but I can't seem to say no, especially if I'm horny.
Him: How many others? Have you watched?
Me: She fucked 1 guy from her past, I watched that. She gave a bj to someone she met through work, I wasn't there for that.
Him: omfg! that's mental! what a slut! I don't mean that badly... I still can't believe it. That's what you get for having a girlfriend that's too hot for you, I did warn you! ​ So were you jerking off downstairs while we were fucking? Did you not want to watch?
Me: I was and I did but it was already awkward enough.
Him: I'm sorry, that's too good. Next time, feel free to watch, It's the least I can offer

So that was Sunday night, I think it went well, I'd imagined much worse. I still hadn't watched the video recording yet. She didn't want to watch herself and was nervous about me watching it. She said she mostly forgot it was being recorded. She reminded me multiple times that she was very horny and frustrated and none of it meant anything more than just sexual satisfaction to her. It was making me nervous that she kept saying it, I wondered what she was worried about me seeing, I had watched her have sex before and she didn't feel the need to remind me of that back then.

"you took it well, I'd have been pissed"
" I feel bad for you but it's kinda hilarious."
"I still don't believe it, I'm waiting for you to tell me it's all a joke."

Sounds like really reasonable reactions, I had very similar thoughts in my mind while reading your posts. You friend handled it as well as he cound and that's good.

Anon... I'm sorry but I just gotta say it and I hope you don't take this negatively, but your girlfriend is extremely cunning.

She messes around with your friend, sort of blackmails him to keep his mouth shut, doesn't tell you about it for a while, and when she does, lies to you and makes it sound like he was the bad guy and the instigator, doesn't let you confront him, and then only let's out the real truth ( is it really?) around the time of all that intense bondage stuff when you're all vulnerable from feeling inadequate. Also when she does tell you, she keeps your friends foot fetish a secret ( which isn't even that wild compared to what's out there!?) instead of sharing it with you in confidence how a very close strong couple should. Id expect a lot more honesty from my partner specially when you're playing around in a relationship.

All that stuff your friend said that I quoted at the start of my post.... It just looks like your gf is walking all over you from the outside perspective. I don't mean to demean her at but you're not any less of a man just because you can't satisfy her extremely high sex drive and don't have a monster dong. I know it's all just play and arousing to you as well but even after your saying you repeatedly didn't want this, she ties you to a bed and makes you horny which is the worst time to make relationship altering decisions. Some things can just stay in fantasy land forever.

what I'm trying to say here I guess is don't get too attached to her. I know it's all fun now hot as well but you don't want a lifetime of this thing, being humiliated and walked all over, and your gf probably doesn't mean to hurt you seriously and thinks it's all just harmless fun and meaningless sex, it all adds up. I have been burned really badly in the past in a relationship so I honestly just am worried about you. I hope you don't take any of this in a negative way and just in a precautionary light.

You mentioned thinking how she's way out of your league and you'll never do better than her, I don't believe all that. You might not be a tall sex god but you seem like a really smart dude who would do well in life in ideal circumstances. Again I'm not saying you should be done with her or anything like that but just don't think you should have low self esteem since I've been through that and it's not fun at all.

I know all the stuff your updating with has already happened. So I hope all's good and all your future posts are positive in nature.

Sorry to all the other folks for the "real" talk who are just here for fun updates and hot scenarios. It's just I've been meaning to post all this stuff for a while now and only just got around to writing it all down in the flesh.

Wish you all well!

[joel68]

After the video is watched I hope we get a description.

[anondesires]

After the video is watched I hope we get a description.

The video was watched 2 weeks ago, it's the description that you're waiting for

[anondesires]

Anon... I'm sorry but I just gotta say it and I hope you don't take this negatively, but your girlfriend is extremely cunning.

She is. She's clever, observant and socially intelligent. She's a good person to have onside, I wouldn't want to fight her in a divorce.

She messes around with your friend, sort of blackmails him to keep his mouth shut, doesn't tell you about it for a while, and when she does, lies to you and makes it sound like he was the bad guy and the instigator, doesn't let you confront him, and then only let's out the real truth ( is it really?) around the time of all that intense bondage stuff when you're all vulnerable from feeling inadequate. Also when she does tell you, she keeps your friends foot fetish a secret ( which isn't even that wild compared to what's out there!?) instead of sharing it with you in confidence how a very close strong couple should. Id expect a lot more honesty from my partner specially when you're playing around in a relationship.

Valid points. I think there's a bias to what you hear about her though. Most of what I communicate on here is about sex and sex is very much a game to her (and to me to an extent). Sometimes the game has gotten too close to serious relationship territory, like that time I had a meltdown. But like with that time, she'll realise, she'll put the game away and be sure to let me know what our relationship means to her.

All that stuff your friend said that I quoted at the start of my post.... It just looks like your gf is walking all over you from the outside perspective. I don't mean to demean her at but you're not any less of a man just because you can't satisfy her extremely high sex drive and don't have a monster dong. I know it's all just play and arousing to you as well but even after your saying you repeatedly didn't want this, she ties you to a bed and makes you horny which is the worst time to make relationship altering decisions. Some things can just stay in fantasy land forever.

You're right that it is play. It's only my sexual pride that's been hurt in all of this but I've always had a choice except for the cheating that happened before we became more open about our desires. I'm still confident in my abilities to make her feel loved and aroused and everything else. With the actual sex part, I guess I realised that following my head was hard work and barely cutting it and decided to give following my dick a try.

what I'm trying to say here I guess is don't get too attached to her. I know it's all fun now hot as well but you don't want a lifetime of this thing, being humiliated and walked all over, and your gf probably doesn't mean to hurt you seriously and thinks it's all just harmless fun and meaningless sex, it all adds up. I have been burned really badly in the past in a relationship so I honestly just am worried about you. I hope you don't take any of this in a negative way and just in a precautionary light.

What happened in your past relationship? I have been very cautious to try and understand what's changing in our relationship, looking for signs that something might start to head in a dangerous direction. I don't really understand it, as much as I try, so I appreciate the advice and concern from those that have attempted it or succeeded in it.
When I had that meltdown, I seriously considered walking away. I came to the conclusion that I wanted to stay with her, the relationship was good, I was just struggling with the change in sexual dynamic. To put an analogy to it, when I considered walking away, it felt like I put a thin layer of waxed paper between us. I decided to embrace our relationship even more than before but I remind myself that I should bail if this sexual experiment turns ugly. It's like the safe word, I've never used it, I don't plan to use it but I consider it often so that I'm ready to use it if I'm ever faced with a pegging type situation again.

You mentioned thinking how she's way out of your league and you'll never do better than her, I don't believe all that. You might not be a tall sex god but you seem like a really smart dude who would do well in life in ideal circumstances. Again I'm not saying you should be done with her or anything like that but just don't think you should have low self esteem since I've been through that and it's not fun at all.

I don't have low self esteem but I've come to terms with not being naturally sexually dominant or having a big dick. I could probably have compensated in other ways but we both seemed to want to go in this direction for our own reasons, so we're giving it a try.

Whenever my friend and I would go out on the pull, I would get the hotter girl, I'm just better at interacting with women, he's awful at it. He would get the ugly friend and he would usually fuck her anyway. I would still expect the same to happen now. There's something about being able to attract a hot girl but then having to give her up sexually that's hot to me. I can't explain it.

Sorry to all the other folks for the "real" talk who are just here for fun updates and hot scenarios. It's just I've been meaning to post all this stuff for a while now and only just got around to writing it all down in the flesh.

Don't be sorry, I always appreciate it when someone's prepared to go against the grain to offer me advice or a different perspective.

Thanks

[joel68]

Btw, I hope the video you guys recorded had good sound quality so you could hear all the action and what was said as well between them when they were fucking.

Looking forward to hearing a narrative of it if you care to tell us and have time to describe it.

[Wannabe123]

I am super curious why she was hesitant to show the video. May be she did a few depraved things for your friend that she is shameful about.

[anondesires]

So Monday (23rd June) morning after she'd left for work, I had allowed myself half an hour before I had to leave for work to take a peak at the video. I sat down at my laptop, slightly nervous, found the spot where they entered the room and watched. They were giggling as they entered, closed the door behind them and then began kissing like horny teenagers. Straight off the bat, this was what I feared. My heart was in my throat but my dick was in my hand, it was gut wrenching to watch but I couldn't stop. She was stroking his dick as they kissed and then he started taking his clothes off, more kissing in between.

Once he was naked, she dropped to her knees and began sucking on his cock, I can barely remember what that feels like. In fact, I think the last time I felt it was when I asked her to pretend I was him and show me what she wanted to do with him. He told her how this was a dream come true, how he'd always fantasized about it but never imagined it could happen. He told her she looked even better naked than he had imagined. She said nothing, continued sucking and looking up at him like an obedient cock sucker. He asked who's dick was bigger, she stopped sucking and said "yours!", he asked "how much bigger?", she told him "a lot!". She continued sucking, he asked her if she preferred bigger, she looked up at him, nodded and made an "mmhmm" noise. He asked her to show him how much she loves bigger cock. She took it out of her mouth, lifted it with her hand, licked his balls, licked up his shaft and around the head and then went to town on it, gagging as she took it deep and fast. I realised I didn't need to stop myself from cumming and blew my load. I was only a couple of minutes in but I didn't want to watch anymore and went to work.

The image of them kissing was burned into my brain all day, her voice honestly telling him he was "a lot!" bigger getting me horny every time I remembered it. That mean he knew when he was messaging me that his dick was much bigger. He was probably thinking I was the stereotypical, small dicked cuck that couldn't satisfy his out-of-his-league girlfriend but then he'd be right. I imagined how humiliating it would be if he knew I'd shot my load after watching my girlfriend suck his dick for a couple of minutes.

That evening, I wanted to discuss the kissing with her but I didn't know how without potentially upsetting her. I knew she was already nervous about me watching it so I didn't mention it and convinced myself it was just part of sex. When she had gone to bed I opened the video again, started from where he asked who's dick is bigger, it still got me hard.

After the blowjob, he told her to get on the bed. She laid on her back, legs spread wide, with her thong still on. He brought her legs together, took off her thong and she spread her legs again. He complimented her pussy, I expected him to go down on her but he just fingered her and commented on how wet she was. He lifted her foot to his face with his other hand, he kissed her soles and licked and sucked her toes like he'd waited his whole life for that moment. She put her other foot in his face and he did the same to that one. He then took her feet and placed them around his cock, she gave him a quick footjob.

He then asked if we had any condoms, she reached for the pack we had bought and put them on the bed. He put one on and then he spread her legs and started to penetrate her pussy. She moaned and told him how his dick feels so big. Her fucked her for a bit and then put her feet in his face as he fucked her. She seemed to make good noises as he sucked her toes and with a couple of minutes she was cumming.

He took the condom off and fucked her mouth for a bit, then turned her over, put on another condom and fucked her doggy. She asked him to make her his bitch. He grabbed her arms, pulled them back, holding her top half up by them as he fucked her. There was a fair amount of noise now. I realised this was probably where I was listening in and jerking off next to the stairs. He asked her who fucks better, she replied "you do!". A bit later she told him to use her, told him she was his bitch.

It was surreal to watch her, it felt like I was watching amateur porn, she seemed like a pornstar, especially with her hair and makeup so unusually slutty.

The whole thing lasted just over an hour, the rest was much of the same. Towards the end she asked him if he was going to cum. He said he was but he didn't want it to end. She told him that they could do it again some time. He was surprised and thought it was a one time thing. He picked up the pace and asked her if she wanted his cum, she told him she did and she started cumming before he did. They paused for a while after he came, calming down with him still inside her. She told him maybe next time he could cum inside her, if he'll get tested. He loved the idea and agreed to get tested.

There actually wasn't anything weird at the end, he pulled out, picked up all the used condoms and wrappers, put them in the bin. He got dressed again. He tried to find out from her why we were doing this and why we might do it again. She told him he'd have to ask me. She seemed like she might have got a bit emotional while he was there, maybe that's why he didn't try to pry and why he'd left immediately and messaged what he did. He told her she was amazing and he'd loved every minute, she said he had been too. He told her he hopes to do it again, she agreed.

I had braced myself for a scary ending but there wasn't one, the scariest part was the start. I went back to watch the kissing for some reason, to feel the pain then skipped to the end as he was about to cum. I imagined how there might be a next time without condoms and he would be filling her with cum with me watching and then I came as I watched him pound her and cum.

[Wannabe123]

Wow that is a wonderful hot narration of the video. Yep, she is a slut. You are a lucky dog

[joel68]

Wow! Really hot. Do you think the next time will be hotter? You watching and him fucking her bareback?

I hope you’re ready for it because it sounds like this wasn’t the only time.