Can't satisfy my wife

[nks]

I have written about this before, but again I would be interested in how people set up a successful cuckold relationship when you are not good in bed.

I have a below average penis, come too soon, and I'm just unable to satisfy my wife. It is so disappointing for her that we stopped having sex. We had some good sex in the past, but she obviously needs someone much more potent. I tried many things, but my wife dislikes foreplay, toys, condoms, oral sex, or anything else different than a good fucking. So, she really needs someone who can fuck her well. She is reluctant though and does not like open relationships or cuck/hotwife relationships. I told her about my fantasies, and encouraged her to try to find someone. She reacted in all the usual ways and dismissed the idea. She has someone she likes but she is too conservative to actually ask him out. She said if she was single, she would want to go on a date with him, but not as a married woman.

If she falls for someone else, she might end up wanting a divorce, so there are huge risks. I tried to keep this just a fantasy, however, now she is just so unsatisfied. She really, really needs to be fucked (I know she has needs). I love her and I want to keep our relationship, but I would also like her to be happier and more sexually/emotionally satisfied. And, if possible, somehow get us to a good cuckold/hotwife marriage instead of divorce.

Any advice would be appreciated.

[bbarnsworth]

I'm sorry to tell you, but trying hotwifing as a means of preventing divorce isn't going to work. You can't 'fix' things with this lifestyle. If you try this lifestyle while things are broken between you, it will make it worse.

[Cuckcuckgoose1]

BB is right. Need a solid relationship and good communication (which it appears you have) before adding a third person to the dynamic. Only you and her know how solid your relationship is. Don't move forward until you're both committed to each other and the concept of a hotwife/cuckold relationship.

[nks]

Hi thanks for the reply. Although we had issues as many couples do, we also have some solid bonds. Sex is a problem, but it does not mean everything is broken. I know the sex element could be better if she had someone. I wonder if there is anything we can do. I wrote about divorce because that is of course always a possibility, but it is not about trying to avoid divorce by trying this lifestyle. It is something that might happen if she finds someone better.

[sconesy73]

Hi thanks for the reply. Although we had issues as many couples do, we also have some solid bonds. Sex is a problem, but it does not mean everything is broken. I know the sex element could be better if she had someone. I wonder if there is anything we can do. I wrote about divorce because that is of course always a possibility, but it is not about trying to avoid divorce by trying this lifestyle. It is something that might happen if she finds someone better.

Better in what way?
I can't sexually satisfy my wife with my dick - it's less than 1" long and is permanently soft - but I'm occasionally allowed to lick her pussy and ass. She fucks other guys- they're most certainly "better" than me in every measurable way - yet she still comes home to me and divorce/ separation has never been considered.
Sex is a very important part of a relationship - but not the only part..

[nks]

That kind of relationship sounds so nice. Yes, I would love it if she kept coming back, and if she let me lick her pussy/ass sometimes. I understand that sex is not everything, but I am just worried that she finds living with the other guy more rewarding. I don't know what to expect. Before marriage, she expressed interest in having fwbs or just sex with other men, but later she changed her mind, saying that she is too conservative for something like that. But thank you for the inspiring story. I guess the non-sex part also worries me a bit. And, it is unlikely that she would just have sex without feelings.

[allways]

If you don't succeed try try again. Pillow talk not all the time helps. Every day give her a kiss a hug and tell how much you love her. Despite wee willy not doing the job for her tell her so in bed and how you really do wish she would get the good sex she so needs.

[nks]

I would love to do that, but at this point it is a bit difficult to talk about sex. She is a bit reluctant to bring up the topic and does not react well when I do. She said she does not want to get horny if she cannot get sex. In the past, she used to talk about sex, or even extramarital sex, and then it was easy to tell her I want her to go to bed with other men. Sometimes she reacted well. But now the topic of sex is kind of off-limits. Yet, I know she is frustrated about this and it would be nice if I could somehow bring up the topic again. Especially, because she has someone she likes and it is something that I could encouraged.

[Shiphead]

How does she bring up someone that she likes? What precedes that comment? Can you get her to expand on what she likes about him. Get her talking about him and tell her how hot it sounds. But ease into it. Sounds like something sets her off.
Does she go out alone very ofen or with the girls? Is the guy married? You do have an in with her by figuring out this guy and what she finds attractive about him.

[bbarnsworth]

nks, this has massive red warning flags all over it. You, as a couple, are not ready for this lifestyle. I strongly advise you to avoid considering getting into it until you figure out your relationship and the two of you are able to effectively communicate. I grant that I only see the tiniest of windows into your relationship, but what I see is a marriage teetering on the edge of divorce. Getting into this lifestyle will ruin your marriage.

[nks]

nks, this has massive red warning flags all over it.

Thanks for the warning. At this point, our communication is not going all that well and it does not really seem that we could actually get into the lifestyle. This is why I feel really dejected. I do feel that she would be pretty happy if we did get into it. As for the marriage... well, I can only speculate. However, before getting married she did say that she might be interested in extramarital sex and that she liked the idea that in a good marriage partners tell each other about the things they do extramaritally. So, it's not like this whole idea is only coming from me.

[nks]

How does she bring up someone that she likes? What precedes that comment? Can you get her to expand on what she likes about him. Get her talking about him and tell her how hot it sounds. But ease into it. Sounds like something sets her off.
Does she go out alone very ofen or with the girls? Is the guy married? You do have an in with her by figuring out this guy and what she finds attractive about him.

Unfortunately, it is difficult to bring it up again. I would love her to expand on it. The first time it came up, I asked her if she has any men around her she likes. When we started dating, she sometimes told me about the men she found attractive, and she told me why she liked them, but later we stopped having these coversations. I miss these conversations and from time to time I try to ask her what she thinks about other men. This time she mentioned that she found this guy attractive, and if she was single, she might want to get to know him better. But later she dismissed it as just something she said. I think one issue is that she sees this whole hotwife idea as me wanting to have an open relationship and wanting to push her to have someone so that I can have someone too. I explained multiple times that that is not the idea, but she still does not understand why else would a man want her wife to be with another man. So, while she understands concepts like an open relationship, she still does not really understand the hotwife/cuckold lifestyle. And because of our bedroom issues, she generally avoids talking much about sexual things. She would just want good, normal sex, not empty erotic talk.

[Wantsomefunto]

Have you tried life like toys and oral to satisfy her

[nks]

Have you tried life like toys and oral to satisfy her

Tried everything. To be honest, with other women I had no problem with sex because all the other options out there. One ex, for example, had lots of orgasms every time, and while I was neither too big, nor too lasting, by the time it finished we did so many things that she would be very satisfied. My wife however is not so easy to satisfy. She dislikes foreplay, oral, and anything else that is not just "fucking". Toys are the same; she feels toys are not the real thing. From the beginning of our relationship, I have literaly tried everything. She had amazing orgasms (objectively and also admitted by her) by oral/toys, but she always refuses these as something she does not like or want. I read books, bought toys, tried all kinds of things. We communicated about this, but she just wants 'it'. And I do feel that with the right guy she could have better sex, but I really don't know how to satisfy her within these requirements she has. Sometimes we had sex and I could last long and then she enjoyed that, but next time it would not go well. So, it became quite frustrating for her. I would like her to be satisfied, yes, but now I feel that she might need another guy for that.

[Wantsomefunto]

Then ask her if you can find a guy for her to satisfy her needs

[nks]

I asked her multiple times, but she says she does not want that. So, it is kind of a difficult situation....

[CuriousHusband91941]

Work hard at working out and lasting longer. Try BlueChew and research ways to be a better lover.
My wife is similar only in that she doesn't like the extra stuff, but rather enjoys my giving her a good "dick down".
I love going down on a woman, but she rarely lets me go down on her. She doesn't want it. Furthermore she gives me head even more rarely than I go down on her.
This is the crux of my fantasy because I receive so little foreplay and oral sex that I resort to cuckold fantasies.
It is frustrating but the beautiful thing is that she knows of my fantasies and I get her to climax every time we make love. We are really good together and I am intoxicated by watching her enjoy our lovemaking, which is what helps me last so long these days. I am just focused on her.

I suggest connecting with your wife because you love her before you encourage her to connect with anyone else.

[Gmor]

Ive struggled in all of my main relationships with being able to satisfy my partner including my wife, which ultimately resulted in her having an affair. In all cases (and definitely with my wife) this inability to satisfy them has been directly related to my small penis, or at least their desire/need for a much larger one.

I have had some success with oral sex (in combination with a toy or her hand) but really no success in making a woman climax from just intercourse.

This is what lead me to my cuckold fantasies. Im just a Wannabe in my marriage (we have reconciled) but I was a cuckold with an ex who cheated on me and then convinced me / insisted that we have an ‘open relationship’.

My wife and I now have a strong marriage although our struggles continue in the bedroom. She isnt willing / ready to be a hotwife but she knows about my fantasy and will play along a little by telling stories about a cheating wife while I masturbate. Its not a perfect situation but its still fun and her stories (which are obviously about her and her ex or her affair partner) are supper hot. Both men had huge cocks and she was able to orgasm easily with them.

[aztd]

Are you wanting to do it for you or you?

[Hopingshewill]

I have had this problem for 30 years. There are occasions when I can get her to orgasm but often I cum before her. I'm not small 7" so size isn't an issue I just get too excited. I know she fakes it often just to end the sex and then finishes her self off. It's humiliating

[firef503]

I've saved a lot of marriages by fucking another man's wife. It's fairly common for marriages to be in this spot of "everything good but the sex." Even when sex used to be great between a couple, she can't get very excited about having the same dick the last 20 years just as much as you aren't too excited about the same hole. But if the sex isn't good that's reason enough for alot of women to leave. Especially if you are at a point in your household that is stable, kids are grown up and gone. The average women is trained by society to believe if you are married you should only have sex with the husband. If that isn't good you better get a divorce and find another guy you have better sex with. I show them otherwise. You can in fact have a good marriage and get sexual satisfaction outside your marriage. I stay pretty emotionally detached and make it just about the sex. Sometimes they will in fact get clingy but I make sure they know it's just about the sex and they should stay with their husbands for all the reasons that's good.

[Shiphead]

Firef503 made some good points. The sex gets a little old with the same person for years. Especially if she isn't able to have an orgasm with you.
First, why did she break it off with her old boyfriend? Is he in a relationship now? She is comfortable with him and would probably do him if it is ok with you But set rules that you can both live with. Maybe you could be involved. Film it so you both can relive it many times. You could tell her you would be ok with it happening once and then sit down and discuss your feelings. If both are ok with it, you can do it again.
There are oenis extensions you can buy. Toys? Do you use them? Something new is always fun.
We decided to try it duacring a vacation. She would pick someone from an online site in the vacation location, make sure they had a recent test. Decide if you waaiaant bareback or condoms. If she is on birth control your pretty safe since hale has recent test results. Ask if she has a preference where he comes.
I controlled everything the first time ( we agreed on it). That way I didn't worry about him contacting her. That way we could contact him again if we choose to take it further. After discusing things we could either stop or keep going.
Try and remember the excitement of trying to get in her panties in the beginning. That's the feeling you are trying to have again. Just figure out how involved you want to be. I wanted to watch and film. But being there quietly involves you in the excitement. We liked trying different men and scenarios. Her at the hotel bar and you sitting back and watching her get hit on. She could then tell the guy you needed to watch.
Get some excitement in both your lives.