Recently started getting fantasies. How to cope with it?

[anondesires]

Like you said how she planted the seed of your friend fucking your future girlfriends/wife , that sounds pretty hot but not at ALL like a good idea or realistically healthy.

I think she'd thought about it and was telling me to tease me but there was a hint of "what would we do in that situation?" which was her general thought process about my friend going forwards.

You've twice mentioned now that you wouldn't want to fight her in a divorce cause she's very cunning as as we've seen, manipulative. I would also like to bring back the whole practically cheating on you and then blackmailing your friend thing where she basically kept lying to you and releasing the truth very little by little up untill you were bound and being fucked/pegged in the ass. I don't know how you got past that but to me personally those lies and manipulation would be an instant deal breaker since I value honestly over pretty much everything. (that incident pretty much solidified my opinion of your girlfriend as not a keeper. I hope you're not offended by this)

I agree with honesty being valued above all else but I try not to place rules on anything because there are nearly always exceptions. So with honesty, there's the issue of when do you tell someone? At the first opportunity? What if they're not in the right place to deal with what you're telling them?
For some things, like telling someone that someone else has died for example, it would be a matter of sitting them down, making sure they're not in the middle of something, calm them down etc. You're only giving them the best chance of handling that news.

In the case that "I've cheated with your best friend", there's a lot of scope for things to go badly. I could've broken up with her, could've shut down communicating with her, who knows what. Yes, she manipulated the situation, made me annoyed at him until I was over it and then admitted that it was her when she could be more confident I was ok with it. I thought about it a lot at the time and I figured what was important were her reasons for manipulating it and intentions going forward. She manipulated it because she wanted to minimise the damage to our relationship. She always said there was more to the story than what she told me but she kind of put in on hold while I dealt with it in my head and while we were opening up to each other about our secrets and such. She then waited until she thought I was ready and I had the full context of where she was at to tell me what really happened. One might call that devious, deceitful and/or cunning but another might see that her priority was keeping the relationship good and together. I think had she not told me there was more to the story, I would sway more to deceitful but knowing there was more always made me doubt what she had told me, I knew something had happened between them and maybe I was dealing with the worst possible situation in my head and then when she told me the truth, it was nowhere near as bad as I was prepared for.

Either way, I just wanna say that if I had a partner who I would want to spend the rest of my life with I would hope that I don't have to think about fighting her in a divorce in the future before we're even married or engaged.

Usually the biggest risks have the biggest rewards...

[ppisbest5]

Like you said how she planted the seed of your friend fucking your future girlfriends/wife , that sounds pretty hot but not at ALL like a good idea or realistically healthy.

I think she'd thought about it and was telling me to tease me but there was a hint of "what would we do in that situation?" which was her general thought process about my friend going forwards.

You've twice mentioned now that you wouldn't want to fight her in a divorce cause she's very cunning as as we've seen, manipulative. I would also like to bring back the whole practically cheating on you and then blackmailing your friend thing where she basically kept lying to you and releasing the truth very little by little up untill you were bound and being fucked/pegged in the ass. I don't know how you got past that but to me personally those lies and manipulation would be an instant deal breaker since I value honestly over pretty much everything. (that incident pretty much solidified my opinion of your girlfriend as not a keeper. I hope you're not offended by this)

I agree with honesty being valued above all else but I try not to place rules on anything because there are nearly always exceptions. So with honesty, there's the issue of when do you tell someone? At the first opportunity? What if they're not in the right place to deal with what you're telling them?
For some things, like telling someone that someone else has died for example, it would be a matter of sitting them down, making sure they're not in the middle of something, calm them down etc. You're only giving them the best chance of handling that news.

In the case that "I've cheated with your best friend", there's a lot of scope for things to go badly. I could've broken up with her, could've shut down communicating with her, who knows what. Yes, she manipulated the situation, made me annoyed at him until I was over it and then admitted that it was her when she could be more confident I was ok with it. I thought about it a lot at the time and I figured what was important were her reasons for manipulating it and intentions going forward. She manipulated it because she wanted to minimise the damage to our relationship. She always said there was more to the story than what she told me but she kind of put in on hold while I dealt with it in my head and while we were opening up to each other about our secrets and such. She then waited until she thought I was ready and I had the full context of where she was at to tell me what really happened. One might call that devious, deceitful and/or cunning but another might see that her priority was keeping the relationship good and together. I think had she not told me there was more to the story, I would sway more to deceitful but knowing there was more always made me doubt what she had told me, I knew something had happened between them and maybe I was dealing with the worst possible situation in my head and then when she told me the truth, it was nowhere near as bad as I was prepared for.

Either way, I just wanna say that if I had a partner who I would want to spend the rest of my life with I would hope that I don't have to think about fighting her in a divorce in the future before we're even married or engaged.

Usually the biggest risks have the biggest rewards...

"In the case that "I've cheated with your best friend", there's a lot of scope for things to go badly. I could've broken up with her, could've shut down communicating with her, who knows what. Yes, she manipulated the situation, made me annoyed at him until I was over it and then admitted that it was her when she could be more confident I was ok with it. I thought about it a lot at the time and I figured what was important were her reasons for manipulating it and intentions going forward. She manipulated it because she wanted to minimise the damage to our relationship. She always said there was more to the story than what she told me but she kind of put in on hold while I dealt with it in my head and while we were opening up to each other about our secrets and such. She then waited until she thought I was ready and I had the full context of where she was at to tell me what really happened. One might call that devious, deceitful and/or cunning but another might see that her priority was keeping the relationship good and together. I think had she not told me there was more to the story, I would sway more to deceitful but knowing there was more always made me doubt what she had told me, I knew something had happened between them and maybe I was dealing with the worst possible situation in my head and then when she told me the truth, it was nowhere near as bad as I was prepared for."

I understand the world is not all black and white, or right and wrong. But this is all still an elaborate manipulation and would be unacceptable to not just me but alot of people, in fact a majority of people.if it is acceptable to you then of course I'm not gonna tell you how to deal with your life and things like that but you looking at it from her perspective still does not justify the behaviour. It's still manipulation and lying not just because of the face value but also how it was done, like the confessing during your highly aroused and bound state where all rational thought is thrown out the window and one is thinking with his little head. This also makes one wonder about how you could be manipulated in the future about bigger stuff.

Also how does the death analogy work here? I honestly don't understand, it's a completely different thing compared to honesty and communication about ones relationship and future)

And again, we don't know about how your relationship is nearly enough so I'm probably completely out of line here,
I hope I'm not upsetting you with my views but it just feels like out of the trio, you are the most vulnerable one with the most to lose and I or we just don't want to see you crash and burn.

[elina]

In the case that "I've cheated with your best friend", there's a lot of scope for things to go badly. I could've broken up with her, could've shut down communicating with her, who knows what. Yes, she manipulated the situation, made me annoyed at him until I was over it and then admitted that it was her when she could be more confident I was ok with it. I thought about it a lot at the time and I figured what was important were her reasons for manipulating it and intentions going forward. She manipulated it because she wanted to minimise the damage to our relationship. She always said there was more to the story than what she told me but she kind of put in on hold while I dealt with it in my head and while we were opening up to each other about our secrets and such. She then waited until she thought I was ready and I had the full context of where she was at to tell me what really happened. One might call that devious, deceitful and/or cunning but another might see that her priority was keeping the relationship good and together. I think had she not told me there was more to the story, I would sway more to deceitful but knowing there was more always made me doubt what she had told me, I knew something had happened between them and maybe I was dealing with the worst possible situation in my head and then when she told me the truth, it was nowhere near as bad as I was prepared for.

I fully understand that response.

I actually think you can understand Her behavior and "cunning" as something She did to ensure that She would not expose Anaondesires to anything that would break their relationship. To me it demonstrates that She cares about Anondesires and their relationship, valuing that above all else.

At the same time She realizes that She can (as Anondesires said in an earlier post) have Her cake and eat it. She is just making sure She doesn't eat to much of the pie at once..... Untill Anondesires are ready for it that is....

Sincerely
elina

[anondesires]

like the confessing during your highly aroused and bound state where all rational thought is thrown out the window and one is thinking with his little head. This also makes one wonder about how you could be manipulated in the future about bigger stuff.

We're not signing contracts in a highly aroused state, she's merely finding out and pointing out that I'm turned on by something I either didn't realise or didn't want to admit to. It was like being tortured and pleasured at the same time. Afterwards I can and would give my honest opinion in a rational state of mind, I could even use the safe word to stop her acting on what I'd admitted to.

Also how does the death analogy work here? I honestly don't understand, it's a completely different thing compared to honesty and communication about ones relationship and future)

My point was about preparing someone or making sure they're ready before telling them something. Death was just the first one that came to mind where people are very mindful of how someone will receive the information.

And again, we don't know about how your relationship is nearly enough so I'm probably completely out of line here,
I hope I'm not upsetting you with my views but it just feels like out of the trio, you are the most vulnerable one with the most to lose and I or we just don't want to see you crash and burn.

Not upsetting. I'm well known for overthinking things, I try to think about all angles anyway but other people's angles are always welcome as long as they're for well intended purposes.
Thanks

[anondesires]

On Thursday night she was telling me about the conversation they had when she arrived at his the night before. She seemed happy with herself that she hadn't given anything away this time and that she had some info on him instead. I was nervous about it though.

It started with him asking her if she enjoyed cuckolding, she said she did. He asked if she had always liked the idea, she said she didn't really know about it before we started exploring it and mentioned having failed attempts at open relationships with exs. He asked if she dominated me before we got into it, she said she tried to claim she didn't dominate me (to not give anything away). He pointed out that she seemed dominant from what he had seen and that he found it hot the way she treated me, she said that I had always been the dominant one when we had sex. He asked her if there was anything she was looking to try (within cuckolding), she said she couldn't think of anything that we hadn't done already.

She then asked him if he enjoyed cuckolding, he said that what we were doing was probably the hottest thing he's ever been involved with. She asked why it was hot for him. He said it was a combination of how much he'd always wanted to fuck her, the fascination he'd had that guys could get turned on by being cucked and the feeling of asserting sexual dominance over us.

She asked him if he'd always wanted to cuck me. He said he hadn't really thought about it before, he'd fantasised about fucking her and joked about it with me but it was never something he gave any serious thought to. He admitted that it was tempting to cheat with her but that he couldn't live with the guilt and that this was perfect in comparison. She asked if there was anything he wanted to try, he said there were a few things but was aware that she might tell me, she told him she probably would, that we didn't have secrets. (I interjected about her secret sex shopping stash that she kept secret, she smiled and continued telling). He said that it turned him on to see her dominate me, he admitted to wanting to watch me eat his creampie but also admitted he wouldn't be horny after cumming so it probably wouldn't be as hot as he imagined it to be. He said he thought snowballing was also hot. He also liked the idea of me being more complicit, begging for it, thanking him etc. She said it was then that she suggested messaging me photos. Hearing that he wanted all these things turned me on.

He asked her if she had any other fantasies or things she liked. She told him she loves big dicks and dominant men but that he knew that already. She told him that she's always wanted to see a straight guy suck a cock. He looked confused but told her he couldn't help her with that and laughed. She said she wanted to push further on that subject but didn't (she wanted points for that too )

She asked him if he had any other fantasies. He said obviously the foot thing had always been the big one. He asked if she was still ok with it, if it made her uncomfortable. She said she liked to be enjoyed, however he wanted.

[monraccoon]

“She said she liked to be enjoyed, however he wanted.”

that’s a terribly sexy sentence.

[Aureus]

Since she pegged you - did you ever do anal with her? Or some other forms of anal play like butt plugs?

[parheliam]

I guess all that will be only for the boyfriend, same as cock sucking is now. Anon will have the chance to watch.

[anondesires]

Friday night... (only 4 days behind now)
We went out (dinner date) to a bar/restaurant, this is something we usually do once a week, I don't think I've mentioned it before because it's not usually of interest. We had finished eating, she went to the toilet and to get another drink from the bar. She had been gone a long time, I couldn't see the bar or toilet from our table. After probably 10 minutes, I got up to see if I could find her. As I walked past the bar, I saw her chatting to some older guy (late 30s? older than us). She was laughing at his jokes and playing with her hair. I felt compelled not to interfere, I carried on walking to the toilet where I just washed my hands and walked back to our table, slowly via the bar area. She was still with him, laughing and smiling. I felt jealous, what could he possibly be saying that was that funny? She didn't notice me walk past either time.

I don't know if anyone else ever thinks this but if I see a girl dressed to impress and some guy that doesn't look like he's with her is chatting with her and she's laughing and playing with her hair like that, I think that he's probably going to get lucky tonight. I had the same thought enter my mind as I was watching them, then I realised that I had thought that about my girlfriend, this was a bit of a first for me. Until now, my thoughts had always been about my friend or generic guys that I hadn't actually seen. There have been times like this where I wasn't there and there have been times where she'd just been a bit flirty with a guy while I was there. This looked more like she was about to leave with him and go back to his place, what felt weirder was I felt like I was rooting for him. I felt cucked in a new way. I went back to our table. I wondered what other people around us were thinking, I wondered if anyone had noticed that she was with me and now she was getting chatted up at the bar. This guy she was chatting with looked like he had everything going for him, expensive clothes, expensive watch, all the charm. I felt like if she was single she would be going home with him tonight but I didn't know if she considered herself to be available to that kind of thing in our relationship.

I sat and considered that she might leave with him, she would probably fuck him, I would've been cucked by 2 different guys within a few days. Then another new thought entered my head, the concept of her only fucking other guys and not me, it was a transient thought but it was hot and then I realised it was ridiculous and that I didn't want that, I haven't had that thought since. Writing about it now seems weird but I do this a lot, write about things that I remember thinking despite no longer sharing those thoughts at the time of writing. I sat thinking about how much she'd enjoy fucking this guy, it'd be different to my friend. I think she likes that my friend is taboo but this guy would be someone she was actually excited to fuck, that aspect both scared and excited me, imagining seeing her so into it like that. She caught me mid-daydream as she sat down again in front of me, still grinning and with another new drink. We tried to have normal conversation, we both knew what she was grinning about and that made us both smile but we knew we couldn't talk about it and that made it funny.

When we got back to the car I admitted that I thought she might leave with him. She told me she considered it, the honesty of it got me hard, having been so close to being cucked like that. I told her I was glad she hadn't but asked her why she didn't. She liked that I was happy that she hadn't. She said she had considered that I wouldn't mind her flirting with him but for most of the time she was in her own little world, enjoying his advances but when it started getting real she remembered that I was sat waiting and she wanted to go back to me and reality. She thanked me for being ok with her flirting with him, she said she enjoyed it but enjoyed the rest of the night too.

When we got home, we had passionate sex. At one point I asked her if she was thinking about him, she said she had but it was mostly me. I made her cum and then she told me they exchanged numbers and I came shortly after.

[anondesires]

Since she pegged you - did you ever do anal with her? Or some other forms of anal play like butt plugs?

We've never done anal, not something either of us are into. I think she's done it in the past but I've never done it.

[anondesires]

I guess all that will be only for the boyfriend, same as cock sucking is now. Anon will have the chance to watch.

Not strictly true, although I think every time she's sucked me recently has been forced or at least initiated by me. I think I wrote about the time where I broke the dry spell.

[elina]

....
When we got home, we had passionate sex. At one point I asked her if she was thinking about him, she said she had but it was mostly me. I made her cum and then she told me they exchanged numbers and I came shortly after.

Maybe it would be good for both of you if your Girlfriend has other Friends with benefits and not just your friend?
Do you know if She knew this new guy from earlier, or did She just start chatting with a stranger?

Sincerely
elina

[Cuckcuckgoose1]

Well it's been 4 days since she got this new guy's number. Any movement on this?

[sucker00]

Anon,

What a sexy recount of your date night and the near rendezvous encounter your GF had. You mentioned she was dressed to impress...what was she wearing? Do you ever feel like she gets dressed up more for the attention of other men than for you, given her proclivities? I'm also curious if you happened to share your thought with your GF, where you imagined her having sex with other men, but not you. But it sounds like you kept that thought to yourself.

[anondesires]

You mentioned she was dressed to impress...what was she wearing?

It was a short dark silver shimmery dress, she's worn it a few times, it's one of our favourites. Her eye shadow matched the dress and she had her tallest black heels.

Do you ever feel like she gets dressed up more for the attention of other men than for you, given her proclivities?

I think it's a bit of both but she's also very conscious of how other women see her, not because she's trying to attract them but she's aware of being judged(?) I don't really understand it. I feel like she's making more effort recently but that doesn't necessarily mean it's for other guys plus it's all a bit intertwined now.

I'm also curious if you happened to share your thought with your GF, where you imagined her having sex with other men, but not you. But it sounds like you kept that thought to yourself.

That was definitely an ourhotwives exclusive It was a weird moment, I don't usually understand the denial thing but in that moment I could.

[anondesires]

Do you know if She knew this new guy from earlier, or did She just start chatting with a stranger?

It was a stranger. He was sat at the bar while she was queueing for a drink and he started talking to her.

[Wantsomefunto]

Has she contacted the stranger yet? You should maybe ask her to do it so it isn’t just about your friend

[Wannabe123]

He asked her if she had any other fantasies or things she liked. She told him she loves big dicks and dominant men but that he knew that already. She told him that she's always wanted to see a straight guy suck a cock. He looked confused but told her he couldn't help her with that and laughed. She said she wanted to push further on that subject but didn't (she wanted points for that too )

Anon, I think she is going to have you suck your friends cock in the next meetup. It’s only fair that you do, to fulfill her fantasy. I know I would have done anything to please a gf like her.

[Cuckcuckgoose1]

I don't think Anon desires to suck anyone's cock. But if he did to please his wife it wouldn't be with his best friend. Probably a stranger.

[anondesires]

Saturday was a lot of talking. The 2 main topics were:
-The conversation she'd had with my friend on Wednesday and what that meant for the following day
-The guy from the bar and other guys generally

The obvious question was whether she wanted to see that guy again, she wasn't sure. It felt like the opposite of everything in the last few weeks. Usually she was pushing for something and I was hoping and thinking it wouldn't happen. The night before when she was with him, I thought it would happen but she was resistant to it despite seemingly enjoying her time with him. She said she enjoyed the attention and was grateful to me for allowing her to experience it without the guilt but she didn't think she wanted to pursue it. I was confused as to why, I said had it happened weeks ago, she would've jumped at the chance. She admitted it was more likely, she said she was sexually frustrated then but said that he didn't seem like the fuck type, he was more like me and she didn't want that. I asked what she meant by that, she said he was charming and would probably want to take her on dates and make her happy, she didn't want to see someone that might want what we had. I felt like I had been blindsided and she had protected us from it. I guess I thought that every guy that showed interest in her just wanted to fuck her, I suddenly felt really uneasy that I had just allowed him to try and charm her for all that time.

We then began to speculate about whether he would call or message her and what she would do if he did. We both thought he would message in the next couple of days, she said he would probably offer to take her out somewhere fancy and try to impress her. She said she would probably just ignore him unless I saw any reason not to. We speculated about whether he was trying to compensate for having a small dick, she guessed he would be average size at best.

Around 5pm that afternoon he messaged her. The message was full of niceties but he essentially offered to take her out for something to eat one night this week. She showed me the message and looked at me unimpressed as if to say "I told you so". I suggested she ask for a dick pic to see if she was right about that too. She said it would be mean, she couldn't just ask for that when he'd been so polite. I didn't push it, she hasn't mentioned it since or replied that I know of.

Then there was the topic of Sunday. Obviously everything she'd told me on Thursday night was about him wanting to see her dominate me or me to submit to him. I told her I wasn't comfortable with either. She asked if there was anything she could do to help, I couldn't see how she could and I told her I was nervous about her pushing but also grateful to how she tried to redirect his attempts away from me last time. She asked to confirm that both things also turned me on too. I admitted that they did. She talked about how she enjoyed being able to please us both, she said she wanted to give him what he wanted and knowing it turned me on too made it tempting but she didn't want to make me uncomfortable. She asked if I was ok with him knowing that she was sometimes dominant with me. I said that I thought he had seen evidence of that already, that it probably wasn't a secret anymore, cuckolding almost implied that that was true. The subject was left open.

[Wannabe123]

Wow Anon there were so many revelations in your post. I almost felt pity on all our gfs/wives because they have to endure a small dick. Whoever’s gf/wife is loyal is missing out on so much.

I love that your gf is very clear on what she wants. I wish my wife was like this, bus alas, she cannot fuck a guy without having a mental connection with a potential lover.

[US31]

I love the fact that she wants to please you both!
She’s definitely a keeper!

[elina]

Thank You Anondesires.

Sounds to me like your Girlfriend is still very much trying to get inside your head and understand how you are reacting to things. The way it looks to me is that She is very focused on making sure She will have one or more lovers who can keep Her fully sexually satisfied in the ways you can't, but that She honestly still wants you as a partner and doesn't want to do anything with anybody who yuo would see as potentially challenging your position as Her live in Boyfriend.

The conversation you had with Her on Saturday obviously makes all of us following your thread very curious with respect to what took place laste Sunday... Tonight will be another Wednesday and I guess She will be visiting with your friend again and I am assuming you will be completely preoccupied with whatever teasing messages She and your friend, Her Bull, will be sending you tonight before She gets back home to you to reconnect with Her Loving Cuckold boyfriend. Hence I don't think any of us should expect any more posts from you before you have been able to calm down again after tonight...

Take care and focus on your feelings and how you can best reconnect with your Lady when She returns tonight.

Sincerely
elina

[sucker00]

Anon,

Interesting conversation with your GF about the man at the restaurant. When she told you that she wasn't interested in the kind of man she suspected him to be, how did that make you feel? On hand, it seems like a positive that she said that she didn't want another kind of relationship that you and she already share. But on the other hand, she seemed to be saying that you and this guy basically had the same kind of persona and that's not what she wants. It seems that your girl's radar is totally dialed in to alpha BDE at this point. What are your thoughts after that conversation with her?

[Xmatty1]

I’m wondering what was said to you last Sunday while your girlfriend was being taken care of, and how you reacted. And what that means for today, and how far they will take it.