Recently started getting fantasies. How to cope with it?

[anondesires]

As a couple of observant people have pointed out, the guy at the restaurant wasn't on the Friday I said it was, we didn't go out that Friday, I was actually home by myself and she was out with friends. I knew that at the time of writing but didn't think it mattered because it was an isolated incident that I'd forgotten to include when I was 2 weeks behind. It actually happened a week or 2 before.

Anon,

Interesting conversation with your GF about the man at the restaurant. When she told you that she wasn't interested in the kind of man she suspected him to be, how did that make you feel? On hand, it seems like a positive that she said that she didn't want another kind of relationship that you and she already share. But on the other hand, she seemed to be saying that you and this guy basically had the same kind of persona and that's not what she wants. It seems that your girl's radar is totally dialed in to alpha BDE at this point. What are your thoughts after that conversation with her?

At first I felt a bit rejected that she didn't want to fuck "someone like me" but then it made sense and I was relieved that she didn't want a guy that would push for more than sex. I couldn't handle her going on dates with guys that wanted to "romance" her. Her giving herself to guys that don't care about her is difficult but the opposite seems much worse.

I wouldn't say she's only into alpha BDE, she loves getting genuine attention from attractive guys but I feel like I can trust her to draw the line between attention and the start of anything more which is reassuring.

[anondesires]

I’m wondering what was said to you last Sunday while your girlfriend was being taken care of, and how you reacted. And what that means for today, and how far they will take it.

I'll write about last Sunday in a separate post.

Nothing has happened this week, he tried mid-week but their schedules didn't align and then we've been away for a few days. Today, the 3 of us were at an event for another friend of ours (his and mine). There were a bunch of people we knew there, I was a bit worried about him being forward with her in front of others but they behaved themselves almost perfectly. He was eyeing her up a lot and couldn't resist the odd comment in my ear like "Are you sure you don't want me swing past yours on the way home from here? It's been a week now, she must be craving some good dick...".

He was there alone but was mingling with others.

[anondesires]

Sunday 13th July...
They had been messaging each other about things they wanted to do. Apparently there were suggestions about me being outside the door and having to ask to come in and watch them. That turned into me being blindfolded instead which I then apparently needed to be handcuffed for too. The rest of the morning had been similar to previous Sundays, I still felt a nervous arousal and doubt but I'd learned to trust that everything would be fine and everyone would get what they wanted.

After the obligatory downstairs small talk, we headed upstairs. I took my usual place on the floor in the corner and watched as they kissed, touched and undressed each other. They were very much familiar with each other now, it was like watching a couple that had been together a few weeks. The excitement was still there but without any awkwardness. She was on her knees, naked, as she took off his underwear and stroked his cock. She was about to put it in her mouth as he stopped her and told her they needed to blindfold me. She came over to me and insisted I took my clothes off while she collected some handcuffs and a blindfold. She told me to kneel with my hands behind my back. I was expecting her to cuff my wrists together but she cuffed my wrists to my ankles so I was basically stuck on my knees. She then told me she loves me before lowering the blindfold over my eyes and kissing me. The last thing I saw was her squatting down in front of me naked with him stood behind her, stroking his dick in anticipation for her to get back to where she was at before.

They were now much closer to me than they were before. They say when you lose 1 sense, the others become more sensitive. While this felt true to an extent in that I could hear and imagine what was happening, my eyes were frustrated. In front of the blindfold was what I craved to see, the most sexually satisfying thing I could imagine but all I could see was darkness. I could hear the noises of her hands and mouth getting to work on his cock and I could hear him enjoying it. My dick was fully hard for them both to see. While I hadn't given into verbal begging, my dick was probably precumming and looked like it was begging on my behalf.

I wanted more than anything to watch and stroke my dick but I couldn't bare the thought of begging my friend to let me watch and stroke my dick to him fucking my girlfriend. He said to me "she looks so fucking hot sucking my cock... just say the words and we'll let you watch...". I said nothing back, I didn't want to give him the satisfaction. I heard the sucking stop and her breathing get closer followed by the feeling of her moist lips on mine and her tongue enter my mouth, I instinctively met her tongue with mine and we made out. She stopped and went back to sucking him before returning to kissing me. After she stopped kissing this time, there was a quiet pause followed by a mutual giggle. She then forced her tongue into my mouth and we made out again. He told her it was hot. I didn't know what she had done but I didn't want to ask. She was dominating and humiliating me in front of him. It felt wrong but I was enjoying the attention from her. I was aware I was getting her mouth fresh from his dick but making out with her felt good, no different to normal, I didn't want her to stop.

The thought of making out with her with the dildo entered my head. I thought about how his dick must be close to us, the feeling of dildo between my lips felt like the next thing to expect but I trusted she wouldn't make me suck anything without warning me. The safe word was in my mind, ready, just in case. Honestly, my mind went there though, against my will, I imagined feeling his dick between my lips, the humiliation of it overwhelming, helplessly being on my knees before them both. My dick was so hard but it'd been hard the whole time, they wouldn't have been able to tell the difference.

She asked if I wanted to feel how wet she was. I said "ok". She told me to open my mouth then offered her pussy up against my mouth. After being sure that it was her pussy, I licked and she thrusted against my tongue, she was indeed very wet. She seemed to get back on her knees after and continued to suck. My friend was becoming increasingly vocal, I think he was getting off on describing it to me, it was definitely turning me on. He was saying stuff like "I wish you could see how much [your girlfriend] loves my cock, tell him you love my cock...". "I love his cock" she would say. He said "I think even if you asked her to stop, she wouldn't, she loves it too much, ask her to stop...". I asked her to stop sucking him but the sounds of sucking continued and he laughed and called her a good girl. The feeling of being helpless to it, physically and verbally, really turned me on. I loved the idea that she wanted his cock above listening to what I asked of her. I was aware that she'd stop for the safe word but to be honest, it would've been hotter to know that she'd ignore that too.

He told me he thought I'd want to watch, I admitted that I did but I wasn't going to beg for it. He told me it wasn't a big deal, just a bit of hot fun. He told me I should start begging if I wanted to see him penetrate her. I said nothing, he said "your loss...". He told her to get on the bed, I heard her do so. He said it was my last chance. She told me to just do it so that I could watch. I said "please let me watch...", he said I'd have to do better than that. He asked what I wanted to watch and why. I wanted to watch but didn't want to be seen to submit to his games. I could hear other things happening, possibly toe or nipple sucking. He then went on to describe how he was about to fuck her, how my dick was hard in anticipation, how he knew I wanted it. He told me he was stretching her pussy out like she needed, like I couldn't. He basically slipped into taunting me like he always had except this time he was actually doing those things in front of me and we seemed to both be getting off on it.

I remembered all those years he had said those things. I never could've imagined they would actually happen and I'd be enjoying it. I tried to remember if it ever turned me on even slightly but it was difficult to imagine it not being a turn on now. I wanted to stroke my dick, I was so hard and frustrated but not willing enough to beg for it and I wasn't sure how far he wanted to push it. He adapted one his old lines saying something like "if you weren't already into this, you'd probably realise here and now that you wanted it, you'd stroke your dick in awe and appreciation". I realised that he didn't know that he essentially caused me to get into this. I had essentially been in awe of his dick and what it might be able to do for her. I had now witnessed what it could do for her and wanted to witness it again and again. My hips tried to thrust uncontrollably as my dick was desperately frustrated from lack of contact. I realised they might see and tried to control it.

I realised I was getting cucked and humiliated but I was so turned on and enjoying it. I remembered back to when I was turned on by the idea but didn't think I wanted it for real. It seemed unimaginable, this was just outright hot, hearing my girlfriend moan in pleasure and cum as he used her both for his pleasure and to humiliate me. It seemed to go on for longer than usual, I don't know if that was just because I couldn't see. I would hear them change positions and he couldn't seem to help but tell me what he was doing and how much she was enjoying it. He'd occasionally prompt her with "tell him who fucks you better" or "tell him who's dick feels better", she'd unashamedly tell me he was better. Her voice resonated inside my head so much, I could hear the pleasure in her voice but also an implied "I'm sorry to have to tell you this but...".

He seemed to fuck her every which way, he then told me he was going to empty his balls into her and he knew what happens next. In my head I thought I would have to get untied and join her in bed for that. He told her to beg for his cum and she begged for it, in detail, telling him how she wanted him to cum deep inside her. He told me that's how I'm supposed to beg and said something about her being rewarded for it as he picked up the pace and they both seemed to cum together. I don't know if I was just paranoid but it sounded like they were kissing, the thought hurt but probably turned me on a bit too. A few seconds later I heard them getting off the bed. She told me to thank him. I said nothing. She told me again to thank him for fucking her like she needed. She then told me again, "last chance... if you thank him, he'll leave the room and wait downstairs...". I wanted to resist all of it.

I felt her lips against mine, delicate and affectionate, we made out lovingly for a good while, I forgot he was probably still there. She eventually pulled away and then I felt her pussy against my mouth. I instinctively ate her juicy pussy, a few seconds later I hear him say how hot it was, how I was a proper cuck and he couldn't believe it. He then said he'd wait downstairs for us and left. She kissed me and took off my blindfold. She untied the handcuffs and then I followed her to bed. She asked if it had been ok for me, I said it had and we kissed and made love to each other. Finally feeling something against my dick felt amazing.

We then went downstairs and ordered takeaway as if nothing had just happened.

I think that's now everything, we're up to date.

[monraccoon]

so fucking hot.

[parmaham55]

Oh my goodness. Congratulations. You are brave and, for many of us, living the dream. Thank you for your full write-ups.

[US31]

Wow! That got my week off to a great start!!

[elina]

Thank you Anondesires,

That was beautiful.
So good to see how you have come to fully accept that you enjoy being cuckolded.
Even better to see how your Wonderful Girlfriend is gently, but firmly leading you on your way to acceptance, and how your friend is allowing himself to be used by Her for this purpose. Clearly, this young Lady is in complete control of everything happening here. I really hope you worhsip Her the way She deserves!!!

And, yes, in terms of the sexual acts and your acceptance of it, this story is up to date.
With respect to what this most recent experience will continue to do with your mind as you will now be able to cuddle and talk to your Girlfriend over the next couple of days, I think you have only started.....

Sincerely
elina

Sincerely
elina

[Wannabe123]

Anon, you have tremendous pride and self control. I would have folded and begged desperately to be released from the blindfold. I am in awe of your will power to remain strong and not give in to your friend’s manipulations.

[elina]

Thank you Anondesires,

That was beautiful.
So good to see how you have come to fully accept that you enjoy being cuckolded.
Even better to see how your Wonderful Girlfriend is gently, but firmly leading you on your way to acceptance, and how your friend is allowing himself to be used by Her for this purpose. Clearly, this young Lady is in complete control of everything happening here. I really hope you worhsip Her the way She deserves!!!

And, yes, in terms of the sexual acts and your acceptance of it, this story is up to date.
With respect to what this most recent experience will continue to do with your mind as you will now be able to cuddle and talk to your Girlfriend over the next couple of days, I think you have only started.....

Sincerely
elina

[venus-can99]

Thanks Annon for the wonderful description of your friend and gf fucking while you were restrained and blindfolded. Your gift of describing what went thru your mind at every stage of their copulation while you were helpless on your knees is priceless. Hope the two of you had some enjoyable time off before returning to the new normal.

[monraccoon]

you’re going to do it. you want to do it. she wants you to do it. him…? he’ll go along with whatever, i suspect.
if she crossed that line, if you felt the head of his penis between your and her lips, would you have backed off and said the word? would you want that word somehow magically banished from your mind for just that instant?
do you secretly, in your deepest, darkest place, want to submit to him as she does? with her?

[Wantsomefunto]

Love your story! So glad
You are her after
For him to enjoy seeing, won’t be long until she has you sucking him before and after he cums in her

[anondesires]

if she crossed that line, if you felt the head of his penis between your and her lips, would you have backed off and said the word?

I think I would've probably freaked out and said it.

would you want that word somehow magically banished from your mind for just that instant?

I wouldn't but I can imagine a moment of confusion

do you secretly, in your deepest, darkest place, want to submit to him as she does? with her?

It depends what you mean. I don't want to directly give him sexual pleasure but I do think it might be hot to do as he tells me.

[monraccoon]

right on. i believe you, or i mostly believe you. that is, i believe that you are honest and that you believe you. i also am inclined towards what belief in my empathy tells me. i imagine myself in your shoes. i have nearly been there myself, but i ultimately lacked your courage and clear self awareness. if i could go back to that time and place… alas.
there was no internet then, no examples the like which you have today. had i these, i’d have been you and more.
like others here, i am grateful to you for sharing your journey. i especially appreciate your candor, your self awareness, and your ability at writing. these elements are rare in combination and a great gift to us all.

[Tryagain]

C'mon...you do want to submit to him. And you have already gone a long way in your increasing submission. Just think how it would feel if you knelt down in front of them, grabbed his rock hard cock that will fill your hands, opened your mouth to suck him, and had to open it so much really wide to even fit the head into your mouth, and took him deep in your throat and gagged on it. Now THAT is submission!

[Rogueuser1]

Hot! Thanks for another great update!

[SweDic]

What are your plans moving forward? OR is it your GF that does the planning for you?

[anondesires]

My girlfriend messaged me when I was at work today, said she was going over to my friend's after work. She suggested that I should ask him to come to ours instead. I asked why she couldn't suggest it herself, she said both him and I would find it hotter if I asked him. I said I didn't want to ask, she said she knew I wouldn't but told me if I wanted to watch I would have to ask. I asked her if he put her up to this. She said they'd discussed it and they both thought it would be hot for all of us. She said it was up to me, she didn't mind either way, she would prefer that I would get to watch but felt that I needed to overcome my fear with him.

The thought of asking him to come over made my stomach churn. I knew he would rub it in but it kind of turned me on that he would do that. I didn't want to offer myself up for that. I decided that she could go over to his and I tried not to dwell on it. The doubt started to set in, I worried that she might stay there longer than necessary, that they might do things I wasn't happy about. I knew it would be better all round if it was at ours. I went back and forth about what was worse, asking him or her going to his. Eventually I decided to message him to see what he would say.

Me: You're welcome to come over to ours after work instead

He didn't reply for a while. I started to regret it, I knew he was going to milk this. Then he replied.

Him: Thanks but it's fine, she seems happy enough to come to mine.

I didn't know if he was being genuine or baiting me into asking. I decided to leave it but then I started having doubts, then he messaged again.

Him: Are you saying that you'd prefer it if I came to you?
Me: I would
Him: Why is that?

I knew he would milk it. I debated not replying but I'd already admitted that I wanted it. The thought of telling him what he wanted to hear was getting me hard, I went to a toilet cubicle to finish the conversation

Me: I'd like to watch
Him: Watch what?
Me: You're a dick...
Him: You want to watch my dick?!
Me: Fuck off! You know what I mean
Him: Just tell me what you want...

I thought about it, cock in hand, took a deep breath...

Me: I want to watch you fuck [my girlfriend]
Him: Wow, that's hot and all but what are you suggesting?

He was making me beg, I was in too deep to back out and too horny

Me: Could you come over to ours after work and fuck [my girlfriend]?
Him: Fuck... I thought you'd never ask
Him: Sure, I'd love to
Me: Fuck you!

Minutes later she was messaging me, happy that I'd messaged him. I left work on time thinking I would get home before he arrived but when I got home his car was already there. I walked in, looked into the lounge to see him sat with her kneeling in front of him, sucking his dick. I sat in the other chair, she looked over at me, she hadn't taken his dick out of her mouth since I'd got home, her priorities were clear.

I took out my dick and started to stroke, I figured they would know I was doing it but I wanted to enjoy it and the arms of the chair kind of hid my hand and dick from their sight. This wasn't the first time I'd done this but it was the most comfortable I'd felt about it. I was accepting that I was enjoying being cucked, that thought alone turned me on more.

She didn't seem to tire of sucking his cock. I don't know how long they'd been at it before I got home but she seemed to enjoy it as much as he did, all 3 of us enjoying the act. Eventually she stopped sucking and climbed on top of him, holding and guiding his dick his dick into her pussy as she gradually lowered herself onto it making faces of pure pleasure. She rode his dick and leaned into him, foreheads touching and them kissing as she rode him. The coupleyness hurt but was hot to watch.

He then stood up without them separating, he held her as he fucked her. He asked me if this was what I had in mind when I'd asked him over. I said yes under my breath, fully jerking off now. I think every other time she had been fucked, I had convinced myself that I wasn't a proper cuck for one reason or another. This felt like the first time that I couldn't think that. I was openly jerking off while watching after asking him to fuck her. I thought it would feel shameful if I ever got to this point but it just felt good. I was actually missing his commentary from last time. He would give the occasional comment, telling me how good her pussy was, how tight it felt for him but he was much less verbal than last time.

He put her down while she was cumming then had her on her back on the sofa. He had her feet in his view but wasn't giving them as much attention as he usually would. I assume having been at work all day, her feet weren't exactly shower fresh to his liking? He fucked her some more, had her beg for his cum and unloaded inside her. I managed not to cum. He got dressed and said something about just asking if we needed him again and then he left.

She told me to lay on the floor, I reluctantly did as she asked, I knew what was coming. She straddled my face and dumped globs of cum in and around my mouth as I licked her. I don't know why but she seems to get a kick out of making me do this and that seems to make it hotter for me. I made her cum and then she rode my dick to orgasm as we made out.

[Rogueuser1]

So hot! Glad you enjoyed your hot, fresh creampie. You are luck of course that she didn't feed you a second one after you came inside her too

[Midnight Joker]

She told me to lay on the floor, I reluctantly did as she asked, I knew what was coming. She straddled my face and dumped globs of cum in and around my mouth as I licked her. I don't know why but she seems to get a kick out of making me do this and that seems to make it hotter for me. I made her cum and then she rode my dick to orgasm as we made out.

You're living the dream my friend. Got hard reading this!

[wannabecUKold]

How perfect, your session manacled and blindfolded. Freedom through bondage. To be stripped naked and manacled so that your erection is on full display and you cannot hide it, its forced confession of your cuckold pleasure. To be blindfolded, so you experience no shame of seeing their reaction to your desired humiliation.
Imagining their sex clearly in your mind's eye. Hearing the moans of their flagrant sex. Eating her perfect cum-filled pussy, receiving his fresh cum, openly to his gaze.
This is a lifetime’s memory.

[elina]

Dear Anondesires,

Thank you very much for sharing.

He then stood up without them separating, he held her as he fucked her. He asked me if this was what I had in mind when I'd asked him over. I said yes under my breath, fully jerking off now. I think every other time she had been fucked, I had convinced myself that I wasn't a proper cuck for one reason or another. This felt like the first time that I couldn't think that. I was openly jerking off while watching after asking him to fuck her. I thought it would feel shameful if I ever got to this point but it just felt good. I was actually missing his commentary from last time. He would give the occasional comment, telling me how good her pussy was, how tight it felt for him but he was much less verbal than last time.

I think this is wonderful. You are more and more accepting that you are enjoying being cucked.
Isn't life so much better when you just stop fighting your natural urges?

He put her down while she was cumming then had her on her back on the sofa. He had her feet in his view but wasn't giving them as much attention as he usually would. I assume having been at work all day, her feet weren't exactly shower fresh to his liking? He fucked her some more, had her beg for his cum and unloaded inside her. I managed not to cum. He got dressed and said something about just asking if we needed him again and then he left.

Wonderful that you managed not to cum...

She told me to lay on the floor, I reluctantly did as she asked, I knew what was coming. She straddled my face and dumped globs of cum in and around my mouth as I licked her. I don't know why but she seems to get a kick out of making me do this and that seems to make it hotter for me. I made her cum and then she rode my dick to orgasm as we made out.

Only your Girlfriend can tell you why She enjoys doing this. But there is clearly an amount of powerplay here, I think your Girlfriend now fully accepts that She enjoys being in charge of both Her and your sex-life. But also, when you lick Her pussy clean from Her bulls cum, you are demonstrating that you fulle accept and embrace your place as Her cuckold. That probably means a lot to Her.

Sincerely
elina

[anondesires]

A few thoughts...

She continues to look for someone else, I think she's more just engaging with guys that reach out to her rather than bothering to actively look. She'll tell me about some of them, it used to be something she would carefully tease me with but now she'll just tell me straight up what's excited her. She'll show me dick pics, they're always bigger than me, I guess she wouldn't show me or talk to them if they weren't. I'll ask her if she sent nudes of her, sometimes I'll find myself hoping she has or hoping that he succeeds with her but it always feels like a bit of a gut punch and turn on that some random guy has seen her naked or had her tell him she wants to suck or fuck him.

She tells me she enjoys having the freedom to do it and seems genuinely grateful and loving to me for it. She has mentioned that she hopes that one day she can fuck other guys without needing my permission and just tell me about it after, that's always seemed like it would be too scary and she hasn't mentioned it much more or pushed the subject, she seems content with where we are at.

Back in the early days of figuring this out, probably in the days between her figuring out I was into this and fucking that first guy, during a teasing session she told me that one day I would beg her to cuck me but she couldn't wait that long. I don't know if she meant it, wanted it or believed it but I've found that sentiment to be stuck in my head a lot lately. The idea that I would beg her to cuck me when she said it seemed ridiculous, like an idle threat. I guess I've fixated on it and as with the other things I fixated on, I notice every time the idea jumps into my head and I have a sanity check like "no... I don't really want that, do I?" and I'll convince myself that I don't.

I think the emphasis lately on me begging him has brought it more to the front of my mind, the realisation that it turned me on to ask him to too. Sometimes I'll consider that if she wasn't already cucking me that I would want her to and that I might even crave it enough to ask her to. The thought of asking her to cuck me seems crazy but also hot... I can't believe I'm thinking like this. Back when she said it, I never thought I could want it like that, it was just something that was hot when I was horny. When I read my old posts on here, I can remember thinking how I did back then but it's like seeing someone struggle to get into the sea because it's cold when you're already in and it no longer feels cold to you, you understand why they're struggling but can't really feel their struggle anymore. It's probably a good analogy because as I was struggling with it, it felt like everyone that was already "in" was telling me it was fine, "just dive in". Everyone that had dipped a toe but decided not to get in was warning me about it.

It was reading back my old posts that made me realise that I should say what's on my mind now. I realise that I might be reading this in a few months and thinking the same about how I feel now, that also scares me, realising how scared I was of potentially being where I am now and it seeming fine to me now.

I forgot to mention the discussion after last Sunday. I asked her what they were laughing about when she was sucking him and then kissing me. She said she had squeezed precum from his dick, licked it up and then tongued it into my mouth. I think I looked disgusted as she told me and I asked why she would do that. She said it was hot and fun and pointed out that it turned me on too, she wasn't wrong.

She told me that she was tempted to put his cock in my mouth and that it was quite close anyway. She said seeing me on my knees in front of his cock was hot for her. I told her I was worried that she might attempt something like that and was ready with the safe word. She joked about how I could even use the safe word once his dick was in my mouth. She also pointed out that, in a way, I must've been thinking about sucking his cock. I didn't say anything, I think I just changed the subject.

I wanted to ask about whether they were kissing at the end but I didn't want to make her feel guilty.

[wannabecUKold]

Great discussion. I love these thoughtful and revealing posts of yours.
In a month or two I think you’ll look back here at your anxiety and safe-word inducing worry about sucking his cock and you’ll wonder what all the fuss was about, seeing how sucking his beautiful cock as your wife does will then seem a most normal and enjoyable thing to do as a cuckold.

[BallSpanking]

... Maybe you could meet her halfway.
If you tongue her clit as your friend fucks her doggy-style, it is called fuck-licking, and in addition to stimulating your GF's clit, you will also probably start tonguing his pumping cock in doing your part.