My hopefully-hotwife-to-be and out journey towards hotwifing

[AZguy425]

Doesn't matter what weekend it is as long as we hear about it when it comes!

[SmallTownGuy]

Doesn't matter what weekend it is as long as we hear about it when it comes!

Fear not, I will definitely update the situation as soon as I have something to update

I haven't been able to read their messages but if I saw correctlynhe might be taking her to eat to the finest restaurant she has ever been to. I hope that is then followed by the finest sex she has ever had

[AZguy425]

A perfect opportunity to dress elegantly.... with hot lingerie underneath that will make her feel sexy. That should increase the chances he'll make a solid move and she'll give into it.

[SmallTownGuy]

A perfect opportunity to dress elegantly.... with hot lingerie underneath that will make her feel sexy. That should increase the chances he'll make a solid move and she'll give into it.

I'd love her to dress really seductively for him, but let's see. Her "official" plan is still to not spend the night with him, and they have planned for some program in which super sexy clothing or dress would be a bit of a challenge and I'm not sure if she is planning to change the clothing during the night and where, unless that would be in his hotel room... On the other hand they will be going to a spa, so there is the possibility she'll get all dolled up after that.

[SmallTownGuy]

Oh, and as you may have noticed from my signature, I added a pic of her in the Hotties.

[AZguy425]

I'd think you at least have a decent chance he'll seduce her. She seems to be trying to keep his and your expectations down, but she's surely got to know that he's going to give it a try. If he convinces her not to go home Friday night then it should happen.

[AZguy425]

I definitely saw the signature. Such a great figure!

[SmallTownGuy]

I'd think you at least have a decent chance he'll seduce her. She seems to be trying to keep his and your expectations down, but she's surely got to know that he's going to give it a try. If he convinces her not to go home Friday night then it should happen.

Yeah this is very much what I think is going on. She tries to keep her, his and mine expectations low but I'm sure she has given it a thought. I think she is probably struggling a bit to figure out how far she is willing to go and when. I guess she wants to take it slow, but on the other hand they won't be meeting that often so there is no point in wasting too much time... But I think she is not sure if he is the right guy and she doesn't know if there will be attraction and desire when they meet face to face again so her way of handling that is to try to minimize the expectations. Which most likely makes a lot of sense, because it is very much a possibility that something causes things to not proceed and it may be the chemistry is missing or there is no attraction any more at some point. But I sure hope they cannot keep their hands off of each other when they meet

[AZguy425]

This is such a great thread SmallTownGuy.

I get that some couples are all in and planning their entry into this arena, but you're going with what you're presented, not pushing too hard, leaving the decision up to her.

I think she is wanting to manage expectations, maybe hers the most. Her conflicting thoughts are so sexy. In the moment in a hotel room she'll find it hard to resist the advances and I bet she gives in. But even if she aborts and never goes to the room or gives him the opportunity to try and fuck her, it's still so hot that you KNOW she's thinking about it and fantasizing about what it would be like if it happened.

[sandy691196]

I'd think you at least have a decent chance he'll seduce her. She seems to be trying to keep his and your expectations down, but she's surely got to know that he's going to give it a try. If he convinces her not to go home Friday night then it should happen.

Yeah this is very much what I think is going on. She tries to keep her, his and mine expectations low but I'm sure she has given it a thought. I think she is probably struggling a bit to figure out how far she is willing to go and when. I guess she wants to take it slow, but on the other hand they won't be meeting that often so there is no point in wasting too much time... But I think she is not sure if he is the right guy and she doesn't know if there will be attraction and desire when they meet face to face again so her way of handling that is to try to minimize the expectations. Which most likely makes a lot of sense, because it is very much a possibility that something causes things to not proceed and it may be the chemistry is missing or there is no attraction any more at some point. But I sure hope they cannot keep their hands off of each other when they meet

Well they did kiss once for 2 seconds and no one freaked out over it..
So there at least is no revulsion..

[SmallTownGuy]

Thanks for comments, I started this thread mainly for personal bookkeeping but it's great if someone enjoys reading this!

We managed to fix a babysitter yesterday and visited a restaurant and had some drinks. No major news once again, but I managed to get some interesting comments from her. As I've mentioned, she had just turned 19 and was still a virgin when we met, but she had enjoyed partying as a teenager and said she had at least twice spent a night at someone's place but they didn't lead to more than kissing. She said she was perhaps a bit naive and careless but both of the guys accepted their fate when she said she wanted to sleep, and both of the guys turned out to be uninteresting pretty soon in the morning She said she has kissed maybe 5-6 guys in her life, which is pretty much the same figure as I have though i've had sex with some other girls too whereas she's only been with me. She said to her kissing does not "mean that much" or something like that, and apparently for her it doesn't necessarily carry huge meanings and I think she also mentioned it wouldn't be the end of the world if I kissed someone, though she said she would definitely lift her eyebrows if I kissed someone right there. She also said one of the two guys she went to sleep with (meaning actual sleeping here ) was a very good kisser and she could feel it in her stomach when they were kissing. When telling me that, she said something like "Oh, and you're gonna enjoy hearing this" so she seems to know I enjoy hearing about her enjoying things with other men

[SmallTownGuy]

She also said she hasn't yet made up her mind if she comes home or stays with him. She said she doesn't necessarily want to carry too much stuff, then again she doesn't necessarily need THAT much stuff for one night. I said most likely there won't be separate beds at his room, and she just said they will have later when she is going to meet him in UK. I also told her that he clearly is interested in her sexually, and unfortunately she seems to be a bit awkward about it. She said it would be more simple if he was a gay friend and there would be no expectations or hopes of anything more than friendship and partying together. I tried gently to get her to admit she also enjoys the thrill of there being some expectations or hopes, but with no great success. She said she doesn't want to be an object or something like that. I once again told her I find it hot they have kissed, snd she said it's difficult for her to understand why and I said it is difficult for me to understand too but perhaps there is no need to explain everything even for ourselves, some things just are hot for some of us.

We've been together almost half of our lives, but I still cannot tell what is going on On the other hand I believe she is telling me how she really feels, on the other hand to me this looks exactly like they have a bit of a crush and she is enjoying the attention and admiring he get from him. She seems to put a great deal of effort to their texting, makes video calls, wants to learn more about him and tell him about herself, sends pics of herself to him etc.

[BallSpanking]

It is difficult to explain, but then, it isn't.
It should not be hard to understand that, when you deeply love someone, their happiness becomes important. If that love is altruistic, non-possessive, you can desire your wife's ultimate pleasure, something that your anatomy might not fulfill, but still be within your place as a husband to encourage and suggest.
It need not even contain humiliation, if there is a true empathy for your wife's sexual experiences and growth. Ideally the couple can find a way to share these experiences, either by participating, or observing, or listening, or later receiving your wife's sexy account during reclaiming. Whichever way works for you as a couple can be the way you play.

PS-
Don't load her down with heavy expectations, nothing is more sure to kill a sexy buzz.
Do let her know that the idea turns you on, however it works out, you are completely supportive of her having a wonderful time, and she is loved and cherished back at home whether she decides to play or not.

[wanker69]

You’re the only man she’s been with, so the idea of being with someone else might feel intimidating. Although they’ve been messaging frequently, they’ve only met once, and that was quite some time ago. Hopefully, she’ll feel more relaxed once they see each other again.

It’s likely she wouldn’t be texting him so often or considering spending the night if she weren’t at least somewhat interested in more than just friendship. Still, it’s understandable that she feels uncertain. Maybe you could help arrange some time for her to speak with him again on a phone. A call might help her feel more comfortable and make their next meeting feel less like she’s seeing a stranger.

There’s a good chance they won’t have sex when they meet, but the fact that she’s willing to see him at all, knowing he has a crush on her, is already a significant step. He seems like a great match for your wife. Someone who genuinely likes her and is interested in more than just sex. A boyfriend-type relationship like that might be exactly what suits her best. Continue encouraging their interactions and reassuring her that you’re happy for them to meet without any pressure or expectations.

[SmallTownGuy]

Excellent comments, thank you. I hope he is patient enough as she won't most likely be an easy one

I try to ensure she sees only opportunities ane possibilities, but no expectations, high hopes or possible disappointments. Your comments help me to handle this in the best possible way.

Us humans are somewhat complex creatures sometimes...

[Small]

This is a really interesting journey you're on with her and I am very intrigued to see where it takes you.

I have no doubt that she off course is considering how far it will develop on that trip. I mean, it's not exactly the norm that a married woman goes on a trip with a man who is not her husband, unless it's either a straight business trip, with a family member or an affair. This trip is clearly not the first two, so the third option is the one that fits the best and she must be having a lot of thoughts about this - and if she was dead against the possibility of an "affair", she would not have decided to go. Can't wait to hear more.

[wemightjust]

Hi

When is the actual date? How many days? is it an all weekend event?

WhT did you decide to do about sex? Did you slow down or refrain from sex with your wife.


What has she been like regarding sex? I\has she wanted. More or less sex, leading up to this date?

Thanks from a very jealous wannabee

[wemightjust]

Hi

I think I pressed the wrong button and reported this post..

My apologies it was my fat fingers

Admin please ignore my report

Thanks

[SmallTownGuy]

When is the actual date? How many days? is it an all weekend event?

What did you decide to do about sex? Did you slow down or refrain from sex with your wife.

What has she been like regarding sex? Has she wanted more or less sex, leading up to this date?

Thanks from a very jealous wannabee

Okay, a quick recap about the schedule:

He is coming to a nearby city (he lives abroad) in about a month for a weekend. She has agreed to spend the Friday evening and Saturday with him. On Sunday I have something scheduled so she has to stay home with the kids. It is still unsure if she comes home for the night or not. It's not that far away so both staying with him or coming home for the night are possible.

In roughly six months she is traveling abroad to meet him. They will share a room for three nights in a nice hotel. She requested the room needs to have separate beds, so he booked a room with separate beds. Anyways, that will not stop them if they want to do something else than sleep on that trip.

Her sex drive has been somewhat above average lately. I think getting attention from him too has a positive effect, and also I guess I also find the situation interesting so perhaps I also show more interest in her. Anyways I have noticed zero negative aspects after they met and kissed, our relationship is at least as good as before that. However, we are at the very first steps of this path so curious to see where it leads if it leads anywhere.

[bbarnsworth]

I once again told her I find it hot they have kissed, snd she said it's difficult for her to understand why and I said it is difficult for me to understand too but perhaps there is no need to explain everything even for ourselves, some things just are hot for some of us.

My wife and I didn't know how we'd each respond to this getting into it. I thought I'd find it very erotic to watch her having sex with another man, but I really didn't know. Turns out, it is intensely erotic for me. I absolutely love it. I couldn't really figure it out though. When I was in my 20s, I was a very jealous type. It even bothered me when the girlfriend I had when I was 19 was going to a male gynecologist! So, how is it I was so turned on by my wife having sex with another man? I tried hard to figure that one out. I spent a long time puzzling on it (and getting more scientific data! ) But, I couldn't figure it out. I gave up trying. I love it, my wife knows I love it, and she's all the happier for it. We feed off of each other's reactions.

Neither of you will really know how each of you will react. Based on what you've said, I think it seems very likely you will, like me, find it intensely erotic to know your wife is having sex with another man. Her? I don't know I think she's struggling internally with herself, and may or may not find it erotic.

[sandy691196]

Some women find it difficult to consciously let go. They can't even accept it in their own minds - that they may enjoy tasting other fruits outside marriage. The sexual monogamy kinda defines them in terms of their identity.

There are ego defence mechanisms at play here..

Something has to snap inside them for the switch.. the transition. Direct verbal reasoning won't do it.
Do you guys watch cuckold porn?
Her seeing your arousal when imagining another man doing her is helpful.. That needs to happen a lot more.
And if you can add a long, disappointed face whenever she says she sees the guy as a platonic friend.. repeated show of non verbal disappointment.. Will also be helpful.

[SmallTownGuy]

Neither of you will really know how each of you will react. Based on what you've said, I think it seems very likely you will, like me, find it intensely erotic to know your wife is having sex with another man. Her? I don't know I think she's struggling internally with herself, and may or may not find it erotic.

This is very well said, thanks. your interpretation is probably correct.

Some women find it difficult to consciously let go. They can't even accept it in their own minds - that they may enjoy tasting other fruits outside marriage. The sexual monogamy kinda defines them in terms of their identity.

There are ego defence mechanisms at play here..

Something has to snap inside them for the switch.. the transition. Direct verbal reasoning won't do it.
Do you guys watch cuckold porn?
Her seeing your arousal when imagining another man doing her is helpful.. That needs to happen a lot more.
And if you can add a long, disappointed face whenever she says she sees the guy as a platonic friend.. repeated show of non verbal disappointment.. Will also be helpful.

We don't watch cuckold porn and I think we should still do some talking about what turns me on. I would especially want to better understand what turns her on, but she doesn't really open up about her fantasies or kinks. Or perhaps she doesn't have any? She enjoys sex a lot, but perhaps for her it is just sex and a way to get physical pleasure and she doesn't have such complex set of kinks, fantasies and nasty thoughts about it.

[SmallTownGuy]

We went to a restaurant and she mentioned she used to visit a night club nearby when she was 18-19 before we met. Somehow the discussion went to direction of what she had done before we met, and she told she had spent apparently a night with a guy two times after clubbing. Neither of those resulted in sex, but she told me she had kissed something like 5 guys in addition to me. She also told one of her female friends used to be interested in kissing with her when drunk but it's been many years since that happened. I admitted it would have been fun to see, her friend is also a very sexy lady. She also said something like "Oh and you'll love hearing this, one of the guys was a really good kisser and I could feel the butterflies in my stomach when kissing with him". It was interesting to notice she knows I like hearing that

She told me that for her kissing is not super arousing and also that she considers it to be more closely related to a hug than having sex. She said too much French kissing and sticking tongue down the throat is not her thing, but also said that of course she likes kissing.

I asked her how are things going with the Brit and once again she was giving pretty short answers. They're figuring out which restaurants to book and confirmed she is spending the Friday night and Saturday with him. I told she is also free to spend the Sunday except that I have this one appointment when she has to stay with the kids, but she said she's not interested in seeing him on Sunday.

Their texting has lately been a bit more distant and less active, but it is still daily. Hope they will still have good time and enjoy each others company when they meet.

[SmallTownGuy]

Oh and she is apparently going out with Andy the coworker who is 20 years her senior. I don't know of there is any chemistry between those two, but one can always hope They have a common whatsapp group with some other coworkers too, but Andy had asked just her.

[FNQLivin]

Going out to do what with him?